Chapter Four: Sense of Belonging

Ron had been too afraid to write to Hermione after their last parting.he wrote to Harry and each line dripped with melancholy that nearly broke Harry's heart and reminded him again of his growing attraction to Lydia Draco.

I don't know what to do anymore. I love her too much to just allow her to walk away, but Harry; maybe she does not need me. Maybe I was only fooling myself. What should I do?

Ron

Harry was feeling as helpless as his friend. He finally understood what that felt like; always having your stomach tied in knots and wanting to scream. He then thought of his mother and father - how deeply they loved one another - how his mother sacrificed everything for him. How his father's face flushed with happiness when he was with Lilly. How Harry longed to know what that felt like. His whole life had been a struggle of survival, and now that he finally was free of Voldemort - he could finally have some happiness.

Tell her everything. Be free. Love her, as you rightly should. Do not cheat yourself.

Harry

Again, Harry felt cheated. He wanted to love and be loved in return. He knew that his friends cared about him, but they belonged together. Where did he rightly belong? He wanted to escape again - just take the invisibility cloak and run. "Mr. Potter?" It was Professor McGonagall. "Shouldn't you be teaching your next course?" Harry looked at his watch quickly. My god! He had completely forgotten! He ran down the opposite hallway without saying anything to the professor.
The younger students were pointing their fingers at Harry, since he was obviously late for Quidditch practice. Hooch was there, her face still and unsettled. "Thank you for gracing us with your presence at long last, Potter" she said abit acidly. "Forgive me" he said in soft tones. He then loudly offered his apologizes to the class and immediately hopped on his broom and told them to follow his maneuvering. The students did not seem enthused this lesson since he apparently was not. His heart was not here.not right now.as he turned to come towards the ground, as the students followed - his eyes met the bleachers once again to see if anyone was there - secretly hoping for that familiar blond hair to appear. He nearly felt himself loose his seating when he saw her. Someone was laughing. It was Arnold Weaver. His most troubling student. He was smug and reminded Harry of Malfoy. He was laughing at him, as his broom began to swerve back and forth. He must have realized who Harry was looking at and thought he was a fool for even showing interest. She was too much of a picturesque woman who common men only looked at from a distance and wondered who her eyes would gaze at next. She had not blinked when Harry's eyes met her once again, for nearly the third time that day. Harry had managed to land somewhat gracefully on the ground. "I think that should be all for today" he said more softly, as the class began to disband. Arnold was one of the few that waited behind. "That was funny, how you looked at." don't say her name! Harry silently begged. "Mr. Weaver, get to your next class! Straight away!" Hooch said loudly, interceding between him and Harry. Thank god.Harry thought with a thankful sigh. When Hooch and Weaver finally disappeared, Harry threw his broom to the ground in anger with a soft thud. As much as he prized his Firebolt, he was so frustrated with himself for being so nerve wracked and nervous. I need to seriously grow up, he thought to himself acidly and took quick strides towards the Hogwarts main hall. He had not watched where he was going - and ran right into Lydia. Oh dear God, he thought in fear as he watched her books fall. She only leaned down to retrieve the books silently, as he slowly reached down to help her. "You are so clumsy" she said softly. He only looked at her with a flushed expression. "Let me help." "I would rather you not. If you watched where you were going as well as you fly you'd be perfect," she teased gently. Her tone helped him feel more at ease and he found himself laughing. But I am far from perfect.he thought. "Well, I quite enjoyed the latest." she chuckled "lesson" she was smiling from cheek to cheek and he nearly found his jaw hanging open. She is beautiful, Harry thought longingly. "You were there? I did not see you." Harry nearly winced as he lied. "I saw you, right before you swerved after that one pest of a child was sneering at you." "Yes, he is indeed a pest" Harry said softly. He was having a hard time fighting off his attraction. "Well, I suppose I should be going" she said causally, as if used to seeing men in such a state. It seemed to amuse her. She must think me a fool, Harry thought with his usual self-doubt.
Ron had taken the car and foolishly went to go find Hermione. He had not told anyone he was coming. He would marry her; he would not take no for an answer this time. Harry had wanted to encourage him. He wanted to have the will himself to do as Ron did. He wanted to have that sort of willpower where his feelings were concerned. In the past, he had been forced to be in situations which other men would fear. So why could he not properly approach someone like Lydia? Then he immediately thought of everything else that had come with her. the evil Draco family. Being with her meant being associated with Voldemort. He might as well have been shot in the foot. He was well aware that she hated Malfoy and even learned from the more than willing-to-talk Courtney who was already proudly calling herself "Lydie's best friend" that she was, oddly enough, interested in muggle affairs and their many trinkets, so much like Ron's father Arthur Weasley, that she had an entire collection of clothes, things she called "CDs" and other things that would be utter nonsense to the wizards at Hogwarts.
Ron was banging on a door he hoped was Hermione's. His owl had sent the address that he prayed was the right one. He was startled to find someone there whom looked nothing like a wizard. "Who - are you?" She asked him quietly, having never seen someone who looked quite like him. That mass of red hair would have been a signal in the wizard world that this was a Weasley, but this older woman obviously had no bloody idea who he was. "May I speak with Hermione?" He asked, tensely. "One moment. Who may I ask is calling?" She asked carefully. "Ron Weasley" he said. The minutes had passed like hours, and finally Ron's eyes fell lovingly onto Hermione's. She was so.. "what are you doing here?" She demanded right away. He immediately felt downcast. "I had to see you" he said, "please, let me come inside" he said in a pleading tone. She slowly opened the door, and invited him into her home. So this is how muggles lived.Ron thought. Everything was so ordinary; but in Ron's eyes, extraordinary. Hermione looked depressed. "Lemonade and cookies, dear?" Her mother had asked her softly, still eyeing Ron. She had realized finally that he was a Wizard. "No mother" Hermione said. With a silent gesture, she showed Ron to the couch. "I knew that it would be a few weeks before your arrival to the council, so I.needed to see you" he said more softly. Hermione sat next to him, very sullenly. She then noticed that he as well was downcast. His eyes had massive rings under them, as if he had not slept in days. Because of me.she sighed. He had wanted to reach out for her and kiss her again, but she pulled away. "I will not stay long." Ron said tensely. He felt hurt that she had not wanted him here. He felt like an outsider. He wanted to know everything he could about her, wanted to be able to protect her - but then realized that she had always been the one protecting him.
"I just came over to tell you." he lowered his head, and then thought of Harry's encouraging advice. BE FREE - LOVE HER. Ron stood up abit quickly and nearly knocked over the magazines on her coffee table. "I have come to take you with me. I am leaving tonight and I will damned if you stay here and I go without you" he said more forcefully - only meeting her surprised silence. He immediately held out his hand "come on right now." She frowned. "I already told you," she said, more hurt than angry. She stood as well. "You cannot just come here, invade my home and expect me to come with you over the summer to Romania!" She argued. "I have other important responsibilities and I cannot just walk away from them! You should know that better than anyone!" She squealed in anger. "You also have a responsibility to yourself! You are allowed! You think it's a bloody crime to love me; I bet you think I'm not good enough" he hissed. "I never said that Ron. Remember?? Draco called me a mudblood!" she said, as she tried to avoid tears. "I am not good enough for anyone," she sobbed, throwing herself onto the couch. "Do not say that or I'll have to send him another snail curse" Ron had said, trying to make her smile, but she only broke into another long tirade of tears. He said down next to her and wrapped his arms around her as she avoided his gaze. "I never cared about what others thought.I know I have little to offer, but I have to try," he said gently. "I want to be with you," he said. Hermione met his eyes and sniffed as he handed her a handkerchief as she wiped her eyes. He came forward and kissed her mouth gently as the tears still fell. Her lips felt warm. She they pulled apart, she whispered "I want to be with you." "honey? Are you alright?" Her father had called into the living room from the kitchen. "Yes Daddy" Hermione said softly, her eyes never leaving Ron's. "I will be." she whispered, allowing Ron to gently take her hand. "Come" he said softly. They stood up together. He had not once let go of her hands. Before either of them looked back, Ron had been reaching out for Hermione's hand as he opened the car door for her. With a slam and a snap, the blue car was gone.