The Making of a Slytherin
Author's Notes: This is a short piece (a one-timer) about Sev's childhood. If you haven't read OotP, this won't spoil any part of the plot for you. If you have read it, you'll have a fairly shrewd idea where one or two things are coming from, as this was inspired by half-a-sentence in chapter thirty-six; and Pink's "Family Portrait" – obviously, as this is a song-fic to that song.
PG-13 for swearing and mentions of violence, although there's nothing explicit.
*sigh* dis-bloody-unclaimer: I. Am. NOT making money out of this, and don't pretend to own or have a claim. And in any case, how, pray tell, could I make money off of this if you can read it without paying me as much as a Knut?
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He had woken up to their commotion that night. He'd sat up in bed, scared, wondering if this was the day, if this was the moment he'd always dreaded… when something horrible, irreversible would happen… He had heard objects crashing against the walls as his parents had thrown them around in their fury. A glass had shattered, a wail had pierced the night, and the young Severus had run downstairs to see if everything was alright.
Merlin, but I hate my life, he'd thought.
Uh, uh, some deep shit, uh, uh
Severus Snape, nine-year-old pureblood born into one of the most prestigious families of Wizarding Britain, wasn't at all surprised by what was unfurling in front of his eyes. He was curled up in a corner, hugging his knees, crying silently and listening.
But he wasn't surprised.
His parents had been fighting for as long as he could remember. His father, in fact, didn't seem to spend a single day without shouting – usually it was at him, because of course he was a disgrace, but then his mother would step in and he would round on her.
But most of the time, it was something, anything, between his parents that caused the rows. Whether the topic of the fight was trivial or not didn't seem to matter. They couldn't stop fighting.
And his father couldn't stop being violent.
Whenever he got really angry – like he did right now – he would beat up Severus. Or, rather more often, his mother.
And Septimius Snape hated it when his wife cried.
Momma please stop cryin, I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said
Severus couldn't stand it. Every single time, it seemed to get worse... He wished he could do something about it.
And by Slytherin, did he try.
He tried being a mediator, he tried being the diplomat, he tried negotiating, he tried being cunning about it... but they just kept on fighting. And it hurt him so much... to wake up to their shouts... to hear them blame each other for everything...
To hear his mother cry...
You fight about money, bout me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy growin' up in
World War III
Never knowin what love could be, you'll see
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done my family
His room was bare of all furniture. It was dark, damp, filled with insects and spiders and rats... When he was punished, he was either locked in his room with no food for a day – thankfully his Father didn't seem to want for him to starve – or he was beaten.
But the worst punishment of all was to hear his parents fight because of him.
Can we work it out?
Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave
The Snape family was poor. These days, all pureblood families who had an inclination towards the Dark Arts were. His mother came from a long line of Dark witches and Wizards, but his Father… well, Severus didn't really know his Father's position on the subject. He didn't violently hate Muggles, to be sure, but he wouldn't hesitate to annihilate them if it ensured he was on the winning side, the powerful side…
It was all about money with his Father.
And Septimius Snape was sick of being poor, it seemed.
"That's how much you love your family, is it, Septimius?" his Mother sobbed, "You'd sell us all away for a bit of recognition, would you?" She got a really hard slap in response.
"SHUT UP, YOU BITCH! Stop wailing!"
Severus's Mother cried even harder. "I hate
you, Septimius Snape," she
whispered, "I loathe you, I despise you, I abhor you."
Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop cryin, cuz I
need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love you, too
And then something that had never happened before took place. This time Severus was surprised. His Father requested a divorce.
He threw some official-looking papers at his Mother, sneered, crossed his arms and waited. His Mother froze. With shaking hands, she picked up the papers and read them, her lower lip trembling. Then she started crying again, and started begging, told him she didn't want him to leave, that they'd work it out…
Severus looked up, terrified. He didn't want his Dad to leave either, and was about to try and say something, when his Father brought out his wand.
When the curses started flying, Severus blanched, silently got up and backed away into the hall. He was more scared than he'd ever been before. He wished his older brother was home, to stop the fight… but Silvanus was at Durmstrang, blissfully unaware of what was going on at his house, studying.
"Crucio!"
Severus
heard his Mother cry out in unbearable pain, and darted out of the house,
feeling as though he would never come back.
I ran away today, ran
from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have no
choice, no way
It ain't easy growin up in
World War III
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my family
He did come back, though. One and a half month later, he did come back. He had received many an owl from his Mother, but it was his Father's note that finally made him change his mind.
And it was a whole month before his parents fought again.
Silvanus had come back home for Christmas by then, and as the fight started, he'd tried to talk things out with his Father. He got thrown out of the living-room for all his pains, though. They were fighting because of Severus, of course. They wouldn't say why, exactly, but he knew.
He was the second son, the one they wished they'd never had, though they could never admit it. Severus cost them too much, they didn't have enough money anyway, and Severus didn't try and make matters easier.
That night Severus promised himself that he would start working. He would bring money home, no matter what it took. Anything to save his family, he swore to himself.
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave
That year, for Christmas, he offered his Father a family portrait. It was put in a silver frame, decorated with serpents… simple, yet elegant. Septimius Snape had been a Slytherin, and knew Severus wanted to follow in his Father's footsteps, having heard so much about the prestigious House – Silvanus had gone to Durmstrang, like their Mother. His Father smiled and hugged him. His Mother's eyes shone with unshed tears.
There was a caption at the bottom of the picture frame.
"A Slytherin can achieve anything. Even happiness."
Septimius Snape understood.
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays
I don't want two addresses
I don't want a step-brother anyways
And I don't want my mom to have to change her last name
It was a picture that had been taken a few years ago, but their faces hadn't changed that much… well, except for the fact that they looked as though they had aged a lot more than they should have, but that was only visible in the eyes, the lines around the face, and the smiles.
Severus didn't know, at that point, exactly what he was asking for. Not that it mattered, since his parents would have followed their own Will anyway. All he knew was that he wanted a happier; better, healthier life… and he would do anything to achieve it.
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything)
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
Let's play pretend and act like it comes so naturally
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave)
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave)
But it didn't work.
The Snape family did fall apart, as every member had felt it would – even though they had hoped it wouldn't. Severus had done everything in his power, for a child his age… the sacrifices he'd made were astronomical.
He'd actually managed not to hate his Father.
The man who had abused him and his Mother.
Septimius Snape left, after one of the biggest rows to date, when Severus was 12. Severus had hung on to his Father's leg; crying, begging, and swearing that he'd do anything Septimius wanted, that he'd be a better student; he promised his Father everything he could think of.
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Turn around please
When it became apparent that his Father really was leaving this time, Severus stopped crying. He watched his father walk away through hooded eyes, and didn't ever cry again.
Remember that the night you left you took my shining star?
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Don't leave us here alone
Mom will be nicer
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right
I'll be your little boy forever
I'll go to sleep at night
Severus had been persuaded, ever since that day, that his family hadn't fallen apart because of him. It wasn't his fault – nor was it anyone else's. As a Slytherin he'd done anything he could – and if a Slytherin's cunning and dedication couldn't help matters, nothing could.
It was love that had destroyed his family. Love rendered blind, and made people do stupid things. Love was an emotion for weak people, because it made you weak.
He would never be weak.
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Author's parting note: I have no idea what I think about this. You tell me.
Dedicated to anyone who can identify with Severus.
Terra Aeris
