Warning: Contains a sensitive topic, mainly rape that happened in the
past. No graphic details, but vague discussion about it.
*****
Duncan, Tessa, and the receptionist looked up startled as Richie burst out of the office.
"Richie?" Duncan asked as the boy stomped toward them.
"I wanna go home," he replied in a near growl.
"What happened?" Tessa stood up.
"I want to go home!"
"Richie, you have to tell us why."
"She doesn't know what she's talking about."
"What did she say?" Duncan asked as Tessa went to find Karen.
"I don't want to talk about it. I tried, okay? I talked to her. You promised we would leave if I wanted to."
"I did," Duncan nodded. "Are you sure this wasn't a misunderstanding?"
"She said it pretty clear. And it's a load of crap."
"Duncan," Tessa said from the office doorway. "We need to talk about this."
"No!" Richie insisted.
Duncan put both hands on Richie's shoulders and refused to let the boy squirm away. "You don't have to say anything. Just go in there with me and Tess so we can work this all out."
"Mac, please. I don't like her," Richie told him.
"Do you want to wait out here?"
"Can I?"
"Sure." Duncan steered Richie to a seat and sat him down. "I'll be right back."
Duncan followed Tessa into Karen's office. "We should have warned you, there's a certain combination of bluntness and subtlety you have to use with him unless you want him to go off the deep end," he apologized waiting for both women to sit before taking his seat.
Karen took a deep breath. "There was no way to tell him what I told him gently. I know why he acts the way he does."
"Why?"
"He was lied to as a young child by one set of foster parents. Then later on the lie was reinforced by a babysitter. He acts the way he does, getting into trouble, stubborn, bad attitude, and what not to remove the possibility of such affection. He was told that love meant something bad and has never been proved otherwise."
"What was he told?"
"That the love between a man and a woman was no different than the love between parent and child," Karen explained.
"That wasn't the way you told him, was it?" Duncan asked.
"I was blunt with him, used terms he would understand and he understood, but didn't believe me."
"That's why he's so upset."
"Duncan, we need to talk to him," Tessa said.
"I'll get him." Duncan stood and went to the waiting room. "Richie, come here would you?" Richie glared at him from across the room. "Just for a minute so we can get this all straightened out."
With a deep sigh, Richie stood and went to talk it out.
. . . . . .
The next day Richie called for a ride home from school. When Duncan showed up Richie was sitting on the steps of the school with a pile of books at his feet. Duncan whistled between his teeth as Richie dropped the pile in the back seat. Richie silently slid into the car without opening the door.
"So I take it you're starting to see the draw backs of running away?"
"I'd be doing all the work anyway," Richie returned quietly.
"Not all at once. Do you want some ice cream?" Duncan offered. "We could drive by on the way home."
"That's okay, I got a lot of work to. Thanks though."
"Okay, maybe some other time." Duncan put the car in gear and headed home. Ever since the meeting with Karen yesterday morning Richie had seemed mechanical. Only doing what he was supposed to do. When he wasn't assigned a task he seemed to sit around and stare into space. When they got to the loft Duncan helped Richie get all his stuff inside and settled him down at the kitchen table. "Need any help?"
"No. Can I use the computer after dinner? I have a paper."
"Sure thing, tough guy. Well, I guess I'll let you work. If you need any help I'm in the office, okay?"
Richie nodded and opened his history book.
It took him four days but Richie got caught up in all his classes. Duncan and Tessa were once again worried about his behavior. He was completely detached and very rarely spoke. He let them touch him, not because he was okay with it, but because he didn't care anymore. It seemed to Duncan that Richie was at the depression and denial stages of acceptance.
One night Tessa couldn't sleep. She didn't know why. She had a feeling that something was wrong. As quietly as she could she slipped out of bed and went to check on Richie.
"Duncan!" she ran back into their room.
"What?" he woke with a start.
"He's gone."
"Are you serious?" Duncan sprang out of bed.
"He's not in his bed."
"He can't have gotten far," he continued as he threw on some sweats. "I'll go look for him. He might come back, so you stay here." He gave her a quick kiss and ran down the back stairs and out the door.
Tessa anxiously paced the loft for a ten minutes before she noticed the soft sniffing noise coming from down stairs. Curiously she went to the top of the stairs and listened. She heard it again. She walked down to the store and tracked the noise to the corner under the stairs by the bathroom.
"Richie?"
He looked up at her wiping at his cheeks. "Sorry, I was trying not to wake you guys up."
"What's wrong?" She sat next to him on the floor. His face crumpled and he sniffed a couple more times. "Richie, darling, what happened?"
"They raped me!" he whimpered pulling his knees to his chest. "They said they loved me." Tessa's eyes filled with tears as she watched years of pain and self-isolation surface in the boy sitting beside her.
"Oh, baby," she murmured softly putting her arm around his shoulders.
"Why did I believe them?" he continued in a tight voice. "Everyone else knew it was wrong, why didn't I?"
"You were a child, still a baby. How were you to know?"
"I mean, it makes sense doesn't it?" Richie asked. "You and Mac are in love and you do it. Angie's parents are in love and they do it."
"Of course," she assured him. She never would have thought to apply that sort of love to any other kind of relationship than what she had with Duncan, but if she had been told at six that that was what was to happen; she would have believed it. "You are not to blame."
"I feel so disgusting," he told her still crying. "It was bad enough when I just didn't like it. Now that I know it was. God, Tess, I was raped. And I didn't even know it."
"You were just a baby, there was nothing you could have done," she soothed putting his head on her shoulder and rocking him slightly. He cried and all but crawled into her lap. He shifted slightly and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist as if he was scared she would leave him. Tessa allowed a few tears slide down her cheeks; some for his pain, some for sympathy, and some for pride. They had broken the barrier that had been dividing them for so long. The boy who hated to be touched was clinging to her, silently pleading to be held. An hour later Richie was asleep with his head in her lap when Duncan came back.
"Tessa?" he called down into the store.
"Shhh!" she hissed stroking Richie's hair to quiet his stirring.
"Tess?" Duncan asked when he found them under the stairs.
"He was here the whole time," she whispered still stroking his hair. "He's past denial. He realized what happened."
"Is he okay?"
"I think he will be. Maybe we could try talking to Karen again, now that he realizes."
"Let's get him upstairs." Duncan squatted down and slid his arms under Richie's shoulders and knees and picked the small figure up. "He's had a long day." About halfway up the stairs Richie woke up and didn't look very happy about being carried. "Richie, stop squirming!" Duncan ordered when he nearly dropped the boy.
"Put me down!" Richie demanded.
"Okay, sorry." Duncan did as he was told. "We didn't want to wake you."
"Stop looking at me like that," Richie said edging away from him.
"Like what? Be careful." Duncan grabbed Richie by the arm as the boy baked toward the edge of the stairs.
"Let go of me!" Richie jerked away.
"Richie, go up the stairs and then be stubborn, you're going to fall," Duncan ordered grabbing the boy's arm again and pulling him to the wall.
"Stop it!" Richie jerked away again and just barely caught himself on the wall before tumbling backward down the steps.
"What's the matter with you?" Duncan once again secured Richie's safety by holding onto his arm.
"Nothing's the matter with me!"
"Go upstairs."
"No!"
Duncan looked helplessly at Tessa. "Richie," she said softly from behind him. "Would you like some tea?"
"No!"
"It might help you sleep."
"I don't want any!"
"Then go to bed, you need to sleep," she told him removing Duncan's grip and replacing it with her own more gentle one. She maneuvered herself between Duncan and Richie then slid her grip down his arm and to his hand. "You'll feel better soon, I promise. Maybe not in the morning, but soon. And no matter how cranky you get, or how stubborn you are, or how much trouble you get into at school, Duncan and I will be here. We just want to help and despite what you may think, you can't do this on your own. You've tried for too long."
"I don't want anybody's help," Richie glowered but still kept his hand in the security of Tessa's.
"But you need it," she assured him as she began leading him up the stairs.
Duncan watched the two disappear into the loft. He knew he had done the right thing agreeing to get Richie in to see Karen, but he wished he hadn't when he saw how upset Richie was. And Duncan had to admit he was jealous that Richie had picked Tessa to warm up to first both before and after the truth came out. There had to be a reason Richie still seemed to be uncomfortable whenever Duncan touched him.
. . . . . .
Two days later Duncan awoke to the sound of cartoons in the living room. He wondered down the hall and found Richie sitting in front of the television watching cartoons and doing some homework on the coffee table.
"Do you even have the slightest clue if you've done your work correctly?" Duncan asked startling Richie.
"Um. yeah," he blushed, picking up the remote and changing the channel.
"What were you watching?"
"Ren and Stimpy," he answered after a minute.
"What's that?"
"A show," he shrugged pretending to concentrate on his algebra homework.
"Do you have plans for today?" Duncan asked already knowing the answer.
"Nope."
"Because I was thinking of going to the Sharks game this afternoon and I'd hate to go alone. But, Tessa doesn't like basketball, so I was hoping you'd like to go."
"To the Shark's game? As in going to the arena and sitting in the stands and watching the game there, live, in person?" Richie rambled excitedly.
"Yeah, I'll even see how close we can get to the Shark's bench."
"Yeah?"
Duncan could tell he found the proper bonding tool. "You can even drive."
"Um, I think you'd better," Richie answered closing his book.
"Do you not know how to drive?"
"No one's ever taught me," he admitted.
"Then you have to drive to lunch," Duncan decided. "But I'm not letting a new driver anywhere near the madness of the arena parking lot."
"You're gonna teach me?"
"Sure, on one condition; you finish your algebra before we leave at one. If it's not done no lesson today."
"Lesson for what?" Tessa asked appearing in the doorway in her robe.
"Mac's gonna teach me to drive!" Richie exclaimed quickly opening his book again. "But I gotta get this done first. um can someone help with number twelve?"
At twelve thirty Duncan came up from the store and found Tessa and Richie bent over his homework as Tessa talked him through the steps of the quadratic formula.
"How's it going in here?" he asked.
"I'm almost done," Richie answered with a huge grin.
"He's getting a little excited," Tessa added.
"I hadn't noticed." Duncan smiled down at the boy who was practically bouncing with energy. "So will he be ready in half an hour?" Duncan asked Tessa.
"I don't know." she answered sharing his smile. "I don't think he can quite remember the formula."
"X equals negative B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus 4AC all divided by 2A," Richie rattled off importantly.
Tessa laughed. "I'm not sure if this is a good idea."
"Tessa!" Richie whined too excited about the game to notice she was joking.
"I don't know, Rich, if Tessa says this is a bad idea," Duncan shrugged.
"Mac, no! C'mon, please? I've been busting my butt all morning for this!"
"He's got a point, Tess."
"Fine," she huffed playfully. "I'll just stay here all by myself and relish in the quiet."
"Thanks, Tessa!" Richie began to squirm out from under the coffee table.
"Not so fast." She grabbed him by his shirt. "You still have two problems left and you're not leaving until you have them both right."
"Fine," Richie grumbled sliding his legs under the table again.
As it turned out it took Richie until 1:15 to satisfy Tessa, but Duncan didn't have the heart to carry out his threat and kept himself busy until Richie came thundering down the stairs having already changed into a red T- shirt and Seacouver Sharks hat.
"Ready?" he asked excitedly.
"Sure thing. You're done early," Duncan answered shutting down the computer.
"Actually," Richie admitted. "I'm done late. So no driving, huh?"
"Well, since I wasn't done either, I don't see why you can't still drive to lunch."
If possible Richie got more excited. "Really?"
"Sure, but you have to do what I tell you. And if you break any of the rules you'll pulling over, got it?"
"Got it!"
*****
Duncan, Tessa, and the receptionist looked up startled as Richie burst out of the office.
"Richie?" Duncan asked as the boy stomped toward them.
"I wanna go home," he replied in a near growl.
"What happened?" Tessa stood up.
"I want to go home!"
"Richie, you have to tell us why."
"She doesn't know what she's talking about."
"What did she say?" Duncan asked as Tessa went to find Karen.
"I don't want to talk about it. I tried, okay? I talked to her. You promised we would leave if I wanted to."
"I did," Duncan nodded. "Are you sure this wasn't a misunderstanding?"
"She said it pretty clear. And it's a load of crap."
"Duncan," Tessa said from the office doorway. "We need to talk about this."
"No!" Richie insisted.
Duncan put both hands on Richie's shoulders and refused to let the boy squirm away. "You don't have to say anything. Just go in there with me and Tess so we can work this all out."
"Mac, please. I don't like her," Richie told him.
"Do you want to wait out here?"
"Can I?"
"Sure." Duncan steered Richie to a seat and sat him down. "I'll be right back."
Duncan followed Tessa into Karen's office. "We should have warned you, there's a certain combination of bluntness and subtlety you have to use with him unless you want him to go off the deep end," he apologized waiting for both women to sit before taking his seat.
Karen took a deep breath. "There was no way to tell him what I told him gently. I know why he acts the way he does."
"Why?"
"He was lied to as a young child by one set of foster parents. Then later on the lie was reinforced by a babysitter. He acts the way he does, getting into trouble, stubborn, bad attitude, and what not to remove the possibility of such affection. He was told that love meant something bad and has never been proved otherwise."
"What was he told?"
"That the love between a man and a woman was no different than the love between parent and child," Karen explained.
"That wasn't the way you told him, was it?" Duncan asked.
"I was blunt with him, used terms he would understand and he understood, but didn't believe me."
"That's why he's so upset."
"Duncan, we need to talk to him," Tessa said.
"I'll get him." Duncan stood and went to the waiting room. "Richie, come here would you?" Richie glared at him from across the room. "Just for a minute so we can get this all straightened out."
With a deep sigh, Richie stood and went to talk it out.
. . . . . .
The next day Richie called for a ride home from school. When Duncan showed up Richie was sitting on the steps of the school with a pile of books at his feet. Duncan whistled between his teeth as Richie dropped the pile in the back seat. Richie silently slid into the car without opening the door.
"So I take it you're starting to see the draw backs of running away?"
"I'd be doing all the work anyway," Richie returned quietly.
"Not all at once. Do you want some ice cream?" Duncan offered. "We could drive by on the way home."
"That's okay, I got a lot of work to. Thanks though."
"Okay, maybe some other time." Duncan put the car in gear and headed home. Ever since the meeting with Karen yesterday morning Richie had seemed mechanical. Only doing what he was supposed to do. When he wasn't assigned a task he seemed to sit around and stare into space. When they got to the loft Duncan helped Richie get all his stuff inside and settled him down at the kitchen table. "Need any help?"
"No. Can I use the computer after dinner? I have a paper."
"Sure thing, tough guy. Well, I guess I'll let you work. If you need any help I'm in the office, okay?"
Richie nodded and opened his history book.
It took him four days but Richie got caught up in all his classes. Duncan and Tessa were once again worried about his behavior. He was completely detached and very rarely spoke. He let them touch him, not because he was okay with it, but because he didn't care anymore. It seemed to Duncan that Richie was at the depression and denial stages of acceptance.
One night Tessa couldn't sleep. She didn't know why. She had a feeling that something was wrong. As quietly as she could she slipped out of bed and went to check on Richie.
"Duncan!" she ran back into their room.
"What?" he woke with a start.
"He's gone."
"Are you serious?" Duncan sprang out of bed.
"He's not in his bed."
"He can't have gotten far," he continued as he threw on some sweats. "I'll go look for him. He might come back, so you stay here." He gave her a quick kiss and ran down the back stairs and out the door.
Tessa anxiously paced the loft for a ten minutes before she noticed the soft sniffing noise coming from down stairs. Curiously she went to the top of the stairs and listened. She heard it again. She walked down to the store and tracked the noise to the corner under the stairs by the bathroom.
"Richie?"
He looked up at her wiping at his cheeks. "Sorry, I was trying not to wake you guys up."
"What's wrong?" She sat next to him on the floor. His face crumpled and he sniffed a couple more times. "Richie, darling, what happened?"
"They raped me!" he whimpered pulling his knees to his chest. "They said they loved me." Tessa's eyes filled with tears as she watched years of pain and self-isolation surface in the boy sitting beside her.
"Oh, baby," she murmured softly putting her arm around his shoulders.
"Why did I believe them?" he continued in a tight voice. "Everyone else knew it was wrong, why didn't I?"
"You were a child, still a baby. How were you to know?"
"I mean, it makes sense doesn't it?" Richie asked. "You and Mac are in love and you do it. Angie's parents are in love and they do it."
"Of course," she assured him. She never would have thought to apply that sort of love to any other kind of relationship than what she had with Duncan, but if she had been told at six that that was what was to happen; she would have believed it. "You are not to blame."
"I feel so disgusting," he told her still crying. "It was bad enough when I just didn't like it. Now that I know it was. God, Tess, I was raped. And I didn't even know it."
"You were just a baby, there was nothing you could have done," she soothed putting his head on her shoulder and rocking him slightly. He cried and all but crawled into her lap. He shifted slightly and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist as if he was scared she would leave him. Tessa allowed a few tears slide down her cheeks; some for his pain, some for sympathy, and some for pride. They had broken the barrier that had been dividing them for so long. The boy who hated to be touched was clinging to her, silently pleading to be held. An hour later Richie was asleep with his head in her lap when Duncan came back.
"Tessa?" he called down into the store.
"Shhh!" she hissed stroking Richie's hair to quiet his stirring.
"Tess?" Duncan asked when he found them under the stairs.
"He was here the whole time," she whispered still stroking his hair. "He's past denial. He realized what happened."
"Is he okay?"
"I think he will be. Maybe we could try talking to Karen again, now that he realizes."
"Let's get him upstairs." Duncan squatted down and slid his arms under Richie's shoulders and knees and picked the small figure up. "He's had a long day." About halfway up the stairs Richie woke up and didn't look very happy about being carried. "Richie, stop squirming!" Duncan ordered when he nearly dropped the boy.
"Put me down!" Richie demanded.
"Okay, sorry." Duncan did as he was told. "We didn't want to wake you."
"Stop looking at me like that," Richie said edging away from him.
"Like what? Be careful." Duncan grabbed Richie by the arm as the boy baked toward the edge of the stairs.
"Let go of me!" Richie jerked away.
"Richie, go up the stairs and then be stubborn, you're going to fall," Duncan ordered grabbing the boy's arm again and pulling him to the wall.
"Stop it!" Richie jerked away again and just barely caught himself on the wall before tumbling backward down the steps.
"What's the matter with you?" Duncan once again secured Richie's safety by holding onto his arm.
"Nothing's the matter with me!"
"Go upstairs."
"No!"
Duncan looked helplessly at Tessa. "Richie," she said softly from behind him. "Would you like some tea?"
"No!"
"It might help you sleep."
"I don't want any!"
"Then go to bed, you need to sleep," she told him removing Duncan's grip and replacing it with her own more gentle one. She maneuvered herself between Duncan and Richie then slid her grip down his arm and to his hand. "You'll feel better soon, I promise. Maybe not in the morning, but soon. And no matter how cranky you get, or how stubborn you are, or how much trouble you get into at school, Duncan and I will be here. We just want to help and despite what you may think, you can't do this on your own. You've tried for too long."
"I don't want anybody's help," Richie glowered but still kept his hand in the security of Tessa's.
"But you need it," she assured him as she began leading him up the stairs.
Duncan watched the two disappear into the loft. He knew he had done the right thing agreeing to get Richie in to see Karen, but he wished he hadn't when he saw how upset Richie was. And Duncan had to admit he was jealous that Richie had picked Tessa to warm up to first both before and after the truth came out. There had to be a reason Richie still seemed to be uncomfortable whenever Duncan touched him.
. . . . . .
Two days later Duncan awoke to the sound of cartoons in the living room. He wondered down the hall and found Richie sitting in front of the television watching cartoons and doing some homework on the coffee table.
"Do you even have the slightest clue if you've done your work correctly?" Duncan asked startling Richie.
"Um. yeah," he blushed, picking up the remote and changing the channel.
"What were you watching?"
"Ren and Stimpy," he answered after a minute.
"What's that?"
"A show," he shrugged pretending to concentrate on his algebra homework.
"Do you have plans for today?" Duncan asked already knowing the answer.
"Nope."
"Because I was thinking of going to the Sharks game this afternoon and I'd hate to go alone. But, Tessa doesn't like basketball, so I was hoping you'd like to go."
"To the Shark's game? As in going to the arena and sitting in the stands and watching the game there, live, in person?" Richie rambled excitedly.
"Yeah, I'll even see how close we can get to the Shark's bench."
"Yeah?"
Duncan could tell he found the proper bonding tool. "You can even drive."
"Um, I think you'd better," Richie answered closing his book.
"Do you not know how to drive?"
"No one's ever taught me," he admitted.
"Then you have to drive to lunch," Duncan decided. "But I'm not letting a new driver anywhere near the madness of the arena parking lot."
"You're gonna teach me?"
"Sure, on one condition; you finish your algebra before we leave at one. If it's not done no lesson today."
"Lesson for what?" Tessa asked appearing in the doorway in her robe.
"Mac's gonna teach me to drive!" Richie exclaimed quickly opening his book again. "But I gotta get this done first. um can someone help with number twelve?"
At twelve thirty Duncan came up from the store and found Tessa and Richie bent over his homework as Tessa talked him through the steps of the quadratic formula.
"How's it going in here?" he asked.
"I'm almost done," Richie answered with a huge grin.
"He's getting a little excited," Tessa added.
"I hadn't noticed." Duncan smiled down at the boy who was practically bouncing with energy. "So will he be ready in half an hour?" Duncan asked Tessa.
"I don't know." she answered sharing his smile. "I don't think he can quite remember the formula."
"X equals negative B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus 4AC all divided by 2A," Richie rattled off importantly.
Tessa laughed. "I'm not sure if this is a good idea."
"Tessa!" Richie whined too excited about the game to notice she was joking.
"I don't know, Rich, if Tessa says this is a bad idea," Duncan shrugged.
"Mac, no! C'mon, please? I've been busting my butt all morning for this!"
"He's got a point, Tess."
"Fine," she huffed playfully. "I'll just stay here all by myself and relish in the quiet."
"Thanks, Tessa!" Richie began to squirm out from under the coffee table.
"Not so fast." She grabbed him by his shirt. "You still have two problems left and you're not leaving until you have them both right."
"Fine," Richie grumbled sliding his legs under the table again.
As it turned out it took Richie until 1:15 to satisfy Tessa, but Duncan didn't have the heart to carry out his threat and kept himself busy until Richie came thundering down the stairs having already changed into a red T- shirt and Seacouver Sharks hat.
"Ready?" he asked excitedly.
"Sure thing. You're done early," Duncan answered shutting down the computer.
"Actually," Richie admitted. "I'm done late. So no driving, huh?"
"Well, since I wasn't done either, I don't see why you can't still drive to lunch."
If possible Richie got more excited. "Really?"
"Sure, but you have to do what I tell you. And if you break any of the rules you'll pulling over, got it?"
"Got it!"
