Surgeon General's Warning: Some drug usage
Sirius and James entered the secret tunnel under the stairs and crept silently through the dark into a cave under the school. Neon lights and smoke filled every corner not taken up by a body. Taking the back door, they went around the rave and onto the stage. Suddenly the music stopped and some unknown.

(a/n: Lily here and what the heck does "unknown" mean?).

music starts playing. A spotlight shines on Peter who is in the middle of the stage holding a mic tightly in his hands. Everyone who was at the moment raving was now gaping at the short loser on stage. Then the loser bean to sing something so inhuman, so evil that it could only be described in two, horrifying, words: Brittany Spears! Yes, Brittany Spears! The most disgusting, foul, creature known other than the blast-ended skrewt. James, suddenly getting over the shock, ran out and pulled his still singing friend off the stage. (a/n: Lily here once again. have you noticed how no one has even tal. *looks ahead*.Oh here we go!).

"Peter! Pete! Petey! Petigrew!" called Sirius to his distortedly singing rat-faced son of a (a/n: OK, stopping now!) friend. James knew just what to do: he got out his wand.

"Brittanarium Destroyum Foreverum So-um No-oneium Hasium To-um Listenum To- um Herium Horribleium Voiceium!"

(a/n: OK, OK, so he didn't actually say that but it would be cool if he did) Peter suddenly stopped singing and blinked a few times.

"Whoa. where am I?" he asked.

"At the Rave," said Sirius, "and you just became the biggest loser in the school! Except of course Sevy.." He suddenly got the feeling someone was behind him. None doubtably he was.

"Well," said a sneaky voice behind them, "Isn't this just perrrrfect."

"What are you doing here, Sevy?" demanded James.

"Oh I just came by and saw your little friend here all alone. Looked like he got lost looking for Dumbledor by the look on his face. Anyway I got the most revengeful revenge idea ever."

"Why you!" started Peter, suddenly though he realized that he was 2 feet short of a sausage link. (a/n: Are we having eggs too?)

"No" said Sirius.

"Who are you talking to, Si?" asked James.

"Uhh.. no one."

(a/n: meet me in the kitchen later, "Si" and we'll make toast..)

"Ahh such a pity you must hang out with these sniveling worms, James. on the darker side you can be so powerful. so. hmm. what's the word?" Sirius, James, and Peter watched in horror as Snape pulled a dictionary out of his robes.

"So.no..so.ah well its not important, but you can be it if you join me, James!"

"Eat my shorts, Severus!" yelled James. "Well you can eat my socks first!" They yet again watched in horror as Snape took his shoes and socks off and the socks crawled away to the dark corner.

"Oh Sevy, Sevy, Sevy, looks like even your socks don't like your ankles!" laughed James

"This isn't over yet, Potter!" cried Severus as he backed away, turned, and ran.

"This isn't over yet, Potter!" mocked Sirius,

"Give me a break."

"Seriously," said James. It wasn't until just now that Peter noticed someone was missing from the group. (a/n: no not Sevy, the book-worm-wolf-reader-dude-yeah.)

"Can't you just say "Remus"? Asked Sirius. The others looked at him like he was a freak. (a/n: as a matter of fact I can! Remus Remus Remus Remus!)

"Oh stop whining." (a/n: am not!) "Are too!" (a/n: am not!) "Are too!"

This continued forever until finally Peter popped the question. (a/n: no not that question)

"Where's Remus?"

"Guess," said Sirius as he lit a cigarette, puffed a little, and then realizing that he didn't smoke threw it towards the footwear in the corner. The trio watched as the burning wool socks (a/n: actually they're 10% nylon, 50% wool, 40% polyester, and 1 million % country-overthrowing power.) screamed in agony.

"Let's get Remus," said James.

********* L: Hope you liked my first, amazingly long, two (combined) chapters! Next time: Remus is kidnapped by Sevy's burned socks! Stay tuned and maybe Sarah will wake up