Author's note: Well, you asked for it, and here it is……………

Author's note: Well, you asked for it, and here it is……………..

Disclaimer: The only characters I own are Flaming Elf, and I think they're getting a lawyer……..

Rhe woke up with the sun in her eyes. She checked the clock beside her bed. Five A.M.??!!??

"All right, rise and shiiiiiiiiiiiiine!" Someone yelled from downstairs.

With a groan Rhe got out of bed and made her way downstairs, where the Gundam Pilots were assembled. Pyro was on the couch snoring……………

"Hi, how are you this morning?" A frustratingly awake Quatra asked.

The look on Rhe's face made him turn around and walk away.

"Is there any coffee around here?" She asked, yawning.

"Sure," said Duo cheerfully. "But you'll want the pot on the left, the other one is Heero and Wu-Fei's and it's basically TAR."

"Perfect! Lead me to it!" Rhe ran to the kitchen and gulped down a pot of black coffee, much to the shock of the other pilots.

"Hey! You! Woman! That was my coffee!" Wu-Fei shrieked.

"You want a piece of me?? Yeah, that's what I thought." She said as Wu-Fei backed away cautiously.

"All right, guys, what are we gonna do today?" Duo asked the guys.

Trowa was the first to reply. "Well I'm not making sugar cookies again! You and Quatra are untrustworthy in the kitchen and I will not eat black rock-hard biscuits again!"

"You guys tried to cook? There's just so much we don't know about you…" Pyro said thoughtfully.

"Hey, you wanna cook, I'm your girl. Let's go!" Rhe grabbed Duo, Heero, and Quatra and dragged them into the kitchen, while Wu-Fei snuck off to check on Nataku and make sure Duo hadn't painted it pink again. This left Pyro and Trowa sitting on opposite sides of the couch.

"So……."

"So……."

"Wanna give me a tour of the house?"

"I really should go…um….work on Heavy Arms…."

"PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE???"

"I suppose I could……………"

"YAY! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY LET'S GO!"

Trowa headed up the stairs, wondering just what exactly he had gotten himself into. I mean, this chick was psycho! The look on her face was similar to the look Sailor Jupiter gets whenever she sees a guy resemblant of her old boyfriend. And all this over a house?

"Oh……….my…………..GOD! Games room!" Pyro suddenly went into anime-hyper-speed.

"Don't touch that! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"N-64! Can we play? Please please please please PLEASE?"

"I…….don't really know how……."

"Oh come on, I'll show you Pokemon Stadium!"

"All right, one game!"

"Poke-ball, GO!"

Unexpectedly, three hours later, they were still playing, and Trowa was getting obsessed.

"Bulbasaur, I choose you! GO!"

…………..Yeah. And now that we are all thoroughly freaked out let's head back to the kitchen………..

Rhe: No! You FOLD the cream into the chocolate! FOLD it! Not beat the shit out of it! Are you nuts?

Duo: But I thought there were no nuts in this one………

Heero: Quatra! Don't you dare go near that crème brulee! It's my masterpiece!

Quatra: Awwwwwww, all I wanted was a taste……

Wu-Fei: What in the name of Nataku is going on in here?

Heero: Oh, no you don't, no one gets near this! It's mine I tell you and I will not share!

Rhe: You do realise this is going to be our supper? And if you don't share I'll clock you!

(Big weird fight cloud)

Ruleena: Oh my GOD! We're all gonna die!

Heero: Relena? Hide me!

Duo: Relena? Run!

Quatra: Relena? Ah, she's not niiiiiiiiice!

Wu-Fei: Keep that psycho away from me!

Rhe: Is she even supposed to be here??

Ruleena: Heero! I was so worried after that last conference when you self-destructed for the 374th time! I thought you really died that time!

Heero: If you take one more step towards that crème brulee, I will destroy you!

Duo: Watch the rugelach! It's still hot!

Quatra: I think my souffle de-souffled.

Rhe: Why is Relena here? She'll make the milk go bad!

Duo: I thought you had a. electric fence installed! How did she get in?

Wu-Fei: Woman devil! Weak!

Relena: Shut up you cretin!

Wu-Fei glares. Relena shuts up, then turns back to Heero with that dumb blonde Barbie-doll look on her face, her head tilted to one side.

Relena: Heero, come with me. I'll keep you safe, you belong with me……

Duo: Oh no, she's doing that again!

Rhe: All right, I don't care if you are the queen of the world! This is MY kitchen and if you don't leave RIGHT NOW, I'm going to kick your DUMB BLONDE ASS!!!

Quatra: Ooh, BURNED!

Relena: That's not nice! I'm telling! (storms off)

Duo: Will that be before or after you win Heero's love?

Heero: Wow, THAT was cool!

Rhe: That bitch almost made me forget about my Napoleon Torte! Now, back to work people, chicken kiev doesn't braise itself, now does it! Yeah, That's what I thought.

Quatra: Work with me here! If you don't keep quiet my souffle will deflate itself….

Rhe: Okay, another bay leaf into the soup, and Wu-Fei, check the brioche…..

Wu-Fei: The what?

Rhe: THE BREAD IN THE OVEN!

And so another day passes in the Gundam Wing household, tune in next week for Chapter 3: Relena must die! (And we get Gundam pilots!)