It occurred to me, I forgot an entire angle, I am sad to say. This world of Draco-Hermione fan fiction is divided into three separate types. One type is what I wrote about in chapter one, one type is the one I'm about to write about, and one type is a type all its own, a.k.a. the type of story that isn't cliché and is usually very good. I've made fun of the whole Hermione suddenly becomes beautiful and Draco suddenly loves her angle. So now I must play around with the whole Ron and Harry suddenly hate Hermione, and right when she feels so depressed, her and Draco are partnered for a project, and Draco magically saves her from depression. Ah the joys of cliché-ism.

Without further a due, the second installment of Draco and Hermione; Snogoholics...

Hermione Granger the school's bushiest haired girl wandered through the train, looking for her familiar compartment, peering in each one until she found Ron and Harry.

"Oh look! It's Hermione." Harry said, wrapping his arm around his slut, err, girlfriend Pavarti Patil.

Ron forever being the follower followed suit, and put his arm around his girlfriend Lavender Brown.

"You know what Hermione I've been thinking." Said Ron, "Even though I've wanted to screw you for the last two years, I have suddenly decided to be a real prick and hate you. Why? Because Harry told me to! Muahahahahaha!"

Hermione gasped then fainted, then popped right back up again and screamed at Harry, "why did you tell him to hate me!? You know he's such an idiot he will doing anything you say!"

"Really? You think?" Harry asked as he wiggled his eyebrows at Ron, who paled.

"Well you see Hermione. I came up with this amazing idea. You see I thought, what the hell, lets all hate Hermione, so maybe she can get paired up with a pale haired bastard for some bullshit project, then she can convert him to the good side, sever Voldemort's spy from the school, save the world, and get shagged all at the same time."

A silence filled the compartment.

"But who is that pale haired bastard Harry?" Ron asked.

".......Shut up Ron." Hermione said before she stormed out of the compartment.

*************************And then.

"Ohhhhh." Hermione sobbed in her empty compartment, "woe is me!"

Hermione waited, then banged on her compartment wall

"I said WOE IS ME!"

She heard some rustling on the other side of the wall, and then Draco appeared in the doorway.

"What the bloody hell are you banging on the walls for?" Draco asked.

"Who me?" Hermione asked.

Suddenly Hermione felt amazingly rebellious.

"Get out of here you...meanie!" Hermione said with a scowl.

Draco let out a high-pitched gasp, "you won't get away with that one Granger!"

And with that Draco ran like a little girl back to his compartment.

As Draco sat fuming, a big black eagle suddenly flew in through the open window and smacked Draco over the head, knocking him out.

Draco made an amazing recovery though, as people often do in fan fiction, and read the letter from his father...

Dear Dracy-poo,

Now son, Voldemortie, err Voldemort, wants you to be a death eater. So you have to come in some time soon and get your tattoo, robes, and free gift certificate to Evil Me, which has the latest in dark wizard fashions! And no buts either. Mother says hello, write back soon.

Cheers! Luscious Lu

Draco threw the letter out the window and cried out dramatically, "it's not fair! I'm pressured by my family when all I want to do is show my true colors, I'm a good guy deep down I know it! When I do something good I feel...I feel...I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! Oh so pretty and witty and gay!"

"What the?" Hermione asked sticking her head in.

"Don't ask." Draco snapped.

"Come on. We have to go to the front, because I'm Head Girl and you are Head Boy." Hermione said, the disappeared continuing along the corridor.

Draco silently followed.

*********************Next.

"You two will live in separate lodgings, away from your own houses." Professor McGonagall said. "You two will live together and share a bathroom even though you're of the opposite sex because I know neither of you will- well-you know."

"Really? Woot!" Draco said.

Hermione sat silent.

*************************anyway.

Hermione and Draco sat in the middle of their little common room.

Hermione stared at Draco.

Draco stared at Hermione.

You could really feel the love.

"I want some Pumpkin Ice Cream," Hermione said suddenly.

"Oh my god! Are you pregnant?" Draco shouted standing up.

"Um...no." Hermione said, but Draco wasn't listening.

"You southern belle!" Draco shouted.

Hermione sat bewildered before shouting, "it's jezebel not southern belle you prat!"

"What ever!" Draco snapped.

Hermione shook her head, he was worse than Ron.

**********************Then.

Hermione sat down at the Gryffindor table for lunch.

Harry and Ron sat down across from her.

"Hel-" Hermione started but she was interrupted.

"You are in the same lodgings as Draco!" Harry shouted.

"You scarlet woman!" Ron shouted.

"You idiots! I have to be in the same room with him. He's Head Boy, and I'm Head Girl." Hermione yelled.

"Oh." Said Ron and Harry together, "well we still hate you so ne ner ne ner ne ner."

"Oh god." Hermione groaned.

************************But.

"Oooooooh. I'm so depressed. I'm so depressed. I'm so depressed so I'm singing this song!" Hermione wailed into the night.

She waited a minute, and only heard snoring and faint moaning.

So she pulled on her robe over her skimpy night dress, and stood outside Draco's door, pausing a minute before saying, "I'm SO depressed!!! What ever shall I do???"

"Damn it Granger must you always yell." Draco asked, finally opening the doorway. "I was trying to get it on with Pansy, since she's the cheapest in our house and my allowance is low."

"Oh Draco! I'm so depressed! See look! I hurt myself!" and with that she thrust her hand in Draco's face showing him a paper cut.

Draco screamed like a girl, "Ah! Blood!" and then keeled over.

"Damn it Granger." Pansy Parkinson said, entering the room wearing only a sheet, "he had a really good deal going! I was earning fifty dollars tonight!"

"With tax deduction's you'll only be making about thirty." Hermione said matter of factly.

"Ah, Fuck me, I knew I should have charged more." Pansy said as she left in the sheet.

"Draco." Hermione said poking him with her foot. "Draco. Oh good lord." Hermione continued on in a loud monotone voice, "oh no. Look at that. Fluer Delacour is naked in the middle of our room. How ever did she get there?"

"Where?!" Draco asked, standing up quickly.

"Oh shut up." Hermione said before heading off to sleep.

*******************In potions the next day.

"Blah, blah, blah, Harry Potter is so sexy, blah, blah, blah." Snape rambled on.

"I'm assigning you together to make the Harrywantstoscrewsnape potion, and then we will test it out." Snape said waggling his eyebrows at Harry, who turned green and fainted.

"Oh all right damn it. I'll put you in pairs and you can just make the truth serum. Whiney brats." Snape muttered. "If you really hate someone, be partnered with him or her, because otherwise it ruins the plot."

"Shall we get together?" Hermione asked Draco.

"Sure." Draco said.

They scooted their desks together and began to work.

******************** But back in their common room.

"Augh! This answer is wrong!" Hermione screamed at Draco.

"No it isn't! The book is just wrong!" Draco snapped.

"I hate you!" Hermione screamed.

"Well I hate you!" Draco shouted.

Hermione ran forward and tackled Draco.

"You know what? I've always wanted to hear you say that. Snog me!" Hermione said batting her eyelashes.

"What? Get off me!" Draco said pushing Hermione off.

"You mean you don't love me??" Hermione asked, getting teary eyed, "after leading me on like that! And after all that we went through!"

"What? I'm going to bed." Draco said, getting up.

"Oh come on," Hermione whined. "I'm an under sexed bitch! I need to get laid. If you shag me I'll give you a cookie."

"Ok!" Draco said, and he jumped onto Hermione.

***********************In the bedroom.

"Draco what the hell are you humming?"

"Nothing."

"Draco, is that what I think it is?"

"No."

"I didn't know you liked West Side Story."

"..."

***************************** next day.

"Do you know what Hermione?" Draco asked.

"That you know the whole West Side Story score?" Hermione asked.

"No." Draco said after a minute. "I've been thinking, that all though I really wanted some robes from Evil Me, I've decided to turn down the option of being a death eater, and join the good side."

"Really?" Hermione squealed.

"No. Not really. But you can come with me and be a death eater if you want." Draco said.

"Oh Draco you disappoint me!" Hermione cried out, "Now I have to become the prissy bitch and turn you in! Damn you...I was enjoying being naughty."

"Must you?" Draco whined.

Hermione thought of how Harry and Ron had been treating her as of late.

"Well although they have their knickers in a twist I must think of my family. I mean hey, who else will pay for my sex toys, err, bottle cap collection." Hermione said, beaming.

Draco stared.

********************After a week of shagging.

"Oh all right Hermione. I'll come over to your side, but only if they pay me." Draco said.

"Oh Draco I'm so happy I could screw you!"

"Please do."

********************A few years later.

"Oh Hermione." Ginny said, "your son looks just like his father!"

"Who?" Hermione asked.

"Draco!" Ginny laughed.

"Oh right." Hermione said quickly.

"Except one thing has been bugging me." Ginny said thoughtfully, "How can a brown eyed person and a gray eyed person have two children; one with deep blue eyes and one with bright green eyes."

Hermione laughed nervously, "I have no idea."

The End. To me that one wasn't as funny as the first. But hey what do I know? Well I'm out of here. Read and review please! Oh and a very big thanks to all the reviewers of chapter one.