Her eyes followed him when he moved around the room. He seemed so calm, when she would have been nervous he handled everything with ease. His sarcastic smile enraptured her, and a few times he looked over at her and winked, catching her watching him. She threw her hair behind her back and turned in the other direction, Vicious was standing in his long back overcoat talking in whispers to the man next to him. He never smiled, and it was hardly ever that his eyes became warm when he held her or looked at her. Her eyes rested on the floor. She had been with him so much lately that she was beginning to wonder what life would be without him. He promised her everything, but never gave her the one thing she wanted. She wanted to feel safe in his arms and have him look at her like he really cared. At times she felt like she was nothing to him. He never touched her in front of others, and the higher he began to rise in the Syndicate the more and more distance he placed between the two of them in the public eye.
"Julia," she felt his cold hands on her shoulder. She looked up at him. "You're going to go with Spike, I'll meet you guys tomorrow at the drop off point."
She nodded and stood up, rubbing her hands against her legs. Spike began walking out the door and she followed, use to his casual way of going about things. They got in the car and began the journey that change both of them forever.
He lit a cigarette. "Do you mind?"
"Do you care?" she asked with a smirk.
"Nope, not really," he raised an eyebrow, returning her smirk. She sat back and watched the scenery pass them by.
"How long will it take to get to the lift off point?" she asked with her eyes glued to the window.
"An hour from here," he shifted the gear.
"An hour is this cramped up car," she shifted in her seat.
"Yeah, you're stuck in this piece of shit with me," he took a drink from his flask.
"You shouldn't drink and drive,"she looked up at him only half serious.
"That's just one of the twentieth century Earth myths," he took another drink.
"I'll take that," she reached over and took it out of his hands, he didn't protest as he usually would.
"So..." he tried to think of conversation. "How are things between you and Vicious?"
She sighed.
"That good, huh?" He smiled.
"I just don't know what to think anymore, it feels almost as though he's lost intrest completely. I try so hard to make him happy but it's almost like he-"
"- Doesn't want to," Spike finished the sentence. "Vicious is a Syndicate kid, its very hard to get him to feel anything. We were taught to feel nothing."
"Its smart, getting caught up in all of this I don't want to feel anything," she shook her head.
"In time you'll learn not to," he shrugged his shoulder and flicked ashes of his cigarette to the ground. He saw the glimmer in her eye fade slightly as she looked at him, taking in his last few words. "Why did you get involved with someone like him anyway? Why did you come to the Syndicate?"
"I've been alone, struggling to find my way through this universe. Vicious offered me a home and a job if I could pass his tests, if I could show that I was trustworthy," she looked up in front of her. " I was so sure that I was going to feel complete. Vicious seemed so strong and that was something that I wasn't at the time."
"Do you, like, love him," he said rolling his eyes at the use of the word. She shrugged her shoulders.
"No, but he doesn't love me either," she looked up at Spike.
"At least you know that," Spike exhaled the smoke from his lungs. He could see how the truth coming from someone else's mouth stung her, part of him thought she needed it, the other part wanted to reach out and take her hand, touch her face. Show her that he cared. He knew caring was the last thing that he needed to do, so instead he stayed silent and the rest of the drive remained quiet.

He looked at her sleeping in the chair next to her, and then to the aircraft off in the distance. He didn't want to wake her because he knew she would need all the sleep she could get, this mission would drain every inch of energy from both of them. He shook her shoulder and said her name, he didn't want to touch her too long, or get to close, he could help but be swept away by her skin.
Her cell phone ran just then and she jumped up, pulling it out of her bag.
"Hello?" she looked up at Spike. "No I didn't... I swear that I didn't. Vicious please don't... I can't tell you that now. What?! Vicious..."
She looked up at Spike. He looked away from her and walked towards the ship in the distance. She watched as smoke loomed over his mess of hair.
"Fine..." she hung up the phone and instantly she heard Spikes phone go off.

"Is she crying?" Vicious asked.
"No." Spike replied.
"Damn..."
"What exactly are you trying to accomplish?" Spike flicked ashes away.
"I want to make her break. Test her."
"Vicious -"
"What Spike?"
"Did you break up with her?" He shuffled his foot against the ground.
"Yes."
"On what pretense? She didn't do anything wrong?"
"That's why I'm calling you..." Vicious went silent for a moment. There is no way he's going to ask me to do what I think he might, Spike thought in the silence. "When she comes back I need you to side with me so that I have a reason to break up with her, I'm having some Syndicate members set her up to look like she cheated on me. I just have to make her stronger Spike, you understand."
"Who's going to be the one to say she did?"
"Shin."
"Fuck, Vicious, this is stupid."
"Well, we will just have to see if this toughens her up. You are in, right?"
Spike thought for a moment. "Yes."
He hung up the phone just as Julia walked up next to him, he could smell her perfectly on the wind around him. They both stood watching the sun fade.
"Can I have one of those?" she said pointing to his pack of cigarettes.
He looked up at her and blew the smoke away. "No."
"Why?" She looked shocked.
"Because I just quit." And with that he threw the box to the ground and smashed it under his boot.

They sat side by side in a tiny ship, flying quickly out of the atmosphere towards the star. She was messing with the monitor controls and he was cautiously steering them through to the gate. She seemed preoccupied, her eyes glinting with thoughts and frustrations as she moved around in her seat and settled back against it. He eyes fell on her hand, the ring that he remembered was now removed, and she was wringing them together in nervous frustration.
"Julia -"
"What did he say to you?" She looked up at him, he imaged her with tears in her eyes, but the moment he came back to reality he realized there were none.
"Nothing about you," he shook his head.
"Don't lie to me," she grabbed his face and looked into his eyes. He kept his eyes calm but inside he was furious, no one had ever been able to see through his lies. Her soft fingers dug into his chin and her turned away from her.
"I have no reason to lie to you, he just wanted to talk about the mission," he replied trying to keep his anger under control.
"I may be new at this but I'm certainly not stupid. I know you people, and I know that he is up to something, something that will make me look bad and I have a right to know what it is!" She pulled away from him.
"You have no rights anymore, you gave your life away to this Syndicate and now you get to know what we want you to know when we want you to know," he gave her a stern look as her eyes narrowed, burning the lies he was concealing.
"I thought I could trust - "
"Don't trust anyone."

They arrived in the evening and disappeared into their own separate rooms. He watched her as she slid into the broken down room of the hotel, and walked to the edge of the street. All he could think about was her, he had to sit down and think about the mission at hand for a moment. He reached for his pack only to realize that he had crushed it when they were taking off. He wanted to kick himself now for getting rid of the only thing that could calm his nerves, but then he remembered what made him do it. He wanted her with him, but he didn't want her to lose all of her innocence.
He heard the creaking of leaves as someone walked towards him and he turned quickly holding a gun up in the direction behind him. The blonde hair caught his eyes and he lowered it slightly as she walked to him, handing him a drink and settling down on a rock. The sun was down, and the stars we shining brightly in the sky around them, the road was empty and it felt as though no one was around for miles. He looked at the cup she handed him, the clear liquid substance smelled bitter.
"Thank you," he said and she waved her hand in reply. He sat down next to her, letting his hands hold his weight up as he leaned back.
"He has me trapped," she whispered. "He lets me go without really doing it."
Spike nodded.
"He wants to know that emotions won't get in the way of your work."
"He will never let that happen."
"Probably not." He looked up at the sky. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he could feel his body tense up. She felt it too, because she moved her head immediately and looked up at him.
"I'm sorry." She shook her head.
"He doesn't pay very much attention to you," Spike guided her head back to his shoulder, trying not to look uncomfortable.
"I'm lucky if I get a 'hello' and I'm not sure what I've done," she watched the road. She could feel him tense still. "You're not use to this."
"Affection?" He laughed. "I've tried to stay as far away from it as possible. I'm just as bad at giving it as I am at receiving it."
There was silence for a while.
"It's not you Julia." He said quietly. "He doesn't know how to be that way, how to do anything that's not related to his work. He doesn't usually feel much of anything at all, don't think it's you."
"I don't want to be with him," she looked up at Spike. She watched his eyes for a moment while they lingered on her own. "Your eyes..."
He kept looking at her, trying to find that weakness inside of her. The one that Vicious was desperately trying to destroy.
"They are -"
"Different colors."
"But its more than that." She shook her head, never once moving her eyes from his. He didn't dare move away from hers. "They make me feel like you can see everything. The future, the past, the present. Even..."
"Your dreams."
She nodded.
"You make me feel alive." He whispered. As if reality suddenly hit her she looked away. He shook his head and stammered. "I mean your eyes... your eyes make me feel alive."
She nodded again.
"That is what I meant."
"I believe you." She stood up and brushed the dirt from her pants. "I'm going to go back to the room and order some dinner."
He looked up at her, damning himself inside. "Yeah, okay."
"You want me to order you something?"
"Sure. Something with protein."
She smiled and walked back to the hotel.