AN: Paragraph in Italics = Past

Chapter 2

Letting out a small giggle, I dropped the empty bottle of sake and stumbled down the alley to the low-cost, diminutive room I had rented. This was my fifth town in two weeks. I lived by performing exorcisms when I was sober enough and used the money I received from those simple spells to rent a second-rate, undersized room. I usually used the left over money to buy more sake. I had been living like this since Sango's death and the pain was still fresh. Entering my small room, I pulled out a bottle of sake I had hidden under the floor and pulled the top off. It seemed to only way to escape from any of the pain was drink. So I drank, and drank, and drank. It didn't seem to help as much as the other stuff I had tried, but it didn't raise as many questions. I took another sip from my bottle and winced as the sleeve to my robe slipped down to my elbow and I could see the messy bandages I had wrapped around my arm and wrist. Giggling insanely, I lay down on my back and remember the first I had used my staff against myself.

Taking a sip of my sake, I stumbled across the room and winced as I fell past my staff and the pointed end of the staff sliced into my elbow, drawing blood. Biting my lip, I clumsily tried to wipe up the blood, but I was too intoxicated to do a very good job so I stopped. Watching in fascination, I squeezed the wound and let out a breath as the pain filled my mind. But it felt good. The pain in my arm stole my attention from the pain that stabbed at my heart. Taking up my staff, I sliced into my arm again and closed my eyes as the pain filled my consciousness and it was all I could focus on.

Shivering at the memory, I shook my head. People had asked too many questions about the scars and bandages. For them, it was one thing to house a drunk monk, but completely another to house a monk with nothing to live for. I took another sip of sake and wipe away the sake that ran out of my mouth. Taking another sip, I put down the bottle and closed my eyes.

Opening my eyes, I tried to figure out what had woken me up. There was a loud sound, but I was just drunk enough to not understand anything other than that it was loud and near-by. Rolling my head to the side, I looked over at the door and watched in interest as it swung open to reveal an extremely pissed off Inuyasha.

"Hello, Inuyasha," I croaked as I attempted to wave, but I could barely manage the words, much less the motion. "This seems familiar, you know."

"Stupid houshi," Inuyasha muttered. "Kagome, you should wait outside."

"Huh?" I heard Kagome asked as Inuyasha stepped into my inexpensive room and closed the door in her face. It was then that I realized Kagome and, if he was there, Shippo hadn't seen me just heard my voice. It seemed that Inuyasha was protective as ever.

"Fuck, Miroku, you looked like crap."

"Thank you for your wonderful opinion, Inuyasha," I muttered as I attempted to sit up.

"Humans. You disgust me," Inuyasha snorted.

"That's very nice," I nodded, as I looked around for my bottle of sake.

"Miroku, where have you been for the past two weeks. Kagome was scared you'd done something stupid when you didn't show up for Sango's funeral," Inuyasha told me as he picked up my bottle of sake and held it just out of my reach.

"I'm not sure," I muttered, weakly trying to grab the bottle from his hands.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Too drunk," I grinned, as I rubbed my face. "I haven't been sober in almost three days."

"So you don't know where you've been?"

"No. I'm not sure if I've done something stupid," I laughed, fall onto my back again.

"Miroku, you're totally wasted," Inuyasha growled. He quickly broke the neck off the bottle and poured my liquor onto the floor.

"NO!" I shouted, trying to stop him. "Don't do that!"

"Shut up you drunk!" Inuyasha snapped, tossing me off his arm and into a wall. "You'll thank me for this... when you're sober enough to think straight."

"Would you thank someone for stabbing you in the heart? No? Than neither will I!" Letting out a sigh, I stepped away from Inuyasha and sat down again, rubbing my forehead. "You don't understand."

"I lost Kikyo, didn't I?"

"You're different than I am," I frowned. "You have Naraku to kill for betraying you and ultimately killing Kikyo. Me? I have no one. I killed the youkai but Sango still died. And now I have no one to be angry at but myself."

"You're just wallowing in self-pity," Inuyasha sniffed. "Now come on. Get off you ass. I'm going to find Kagome and Shippo, because I know they've wandered off somewhere. When I get back you'd better be sober enough to travel."

"Why do you bother, Inuyasha?" I asked, as Inuyasha turned to leave. "Why did you ever come looking for me?"

"Because, monk, I've been down a road like yours. It sucks to be alone there. Besides, if I didn't look out for you, where would you be?"

"I wouldn't know," I mumbled as I stumbled to my feet and tried to pull myself together. I looked around my cheap, minute room and decided that I would leave the sleeping mat for the next person, since it wasn't mine anyway. As a matter of fact, I didn't have much to pack up anyway. It was a fairly iron clad policy of mine to sell most everything that fell into my possession since money was far more portable and manageable than cloth or cattle. I really only had one set of clothes, which was washed whenever I bathed, my staff, a little bit of food and a few spell scrolls.

Wetting the edge of my robe with the water that dripped through the ceiling (I said it was a cheap room), I wiped my face and neck with the water. Loosening my hair from its small ponytail at the base of my neck, I slicked it back with some more of the water and retied it. Looking up, I heard Inuyasha pounding on my door and I gracelessly got to my feet. Walking to the door, I grabbed my staff and prepared to leave my room.