The morning started like most mornings had the last couple of years. She got the children up and dressed and fed and then gets ready for work herself. But this morning her thoughts kept
drifiting back to yesterday morning, there was no rushng, her children got to sleep in without being hauled to daycare and ....and.....Spike had been here. Get over it, Buffy! She grumbled as she ran the brush through her hair. Thoughts of Spike could only lead to heartache.
"Mommy!!!" Tierney ran into the bathroom and clung to Buffy's legs.
Brenna followed fast on her heels, "Give it back, Tierney."
Tierney peeked at her sister from behind Buffy's legs, "No."
"What is it, Brenna?" Buffy tried to remove Tierney's grip from her leg.
"She's got my hair barrette and she won't give it back." Brenna pouted as she stepped towards the younger girl.
"Tierney, let me see?" Buffy knelt beside her daughter she carefully pried open Tierney's fist, and revealed a plain blue barrette. "Let's give this back to Brenna, okay?"
Tierney frowned as Buffy handed the barette to Brenna. "Brenna, you have lots of blue barettes, sweetie, what's so special about this one?"
"Mr. Spike put it in my hair yesterday and he said it made me look smashing, that means pretty." Brenna smiled at her mom.
"Oh, I see. Well, I think any barette you wear makes you look smashing." Buffy teased the little girl and picked up the brush to her her hair, pulling her bangs back with the blue barette. She put on a very happy face but inside it hurt a little, in a matter of days Spike had already made a big impression on her girls. What would happen if she let them spend even more time with him?
Tierney insisted on a blue barrette also, Buffy grinned as she watched the girls walk out to the car, she could never imagine life without them. She buckled them into the seats, "Okay, girls, mommy has to work late tonight, so you'll be with Miss Marie after Miss Jan leaves tonight,okay?"
Marie came in and worked the evening shift at the daycare, the girls weren't as familiar with her as Jan, but they seemed to like her and Buffy felt comfortable with her too. She just hated her girls having to stay late at all.
****
Mr. Brannon popped into her office several times through the morning, he brought her a bagel and sat around chatting for several minutes before his first client showed up. He continued to make Buffy nervous, she hoped by politely declining his invitations he would get the message that she wasn't interested.
At noon Buffy leaned back in her chair, her boss had a lunchtime meeting so she was in the office alone. She opened her diet soda and a bag of pretzels for lunch, the phone rang and she was tempted to let the machine get it, afterall it was technically her lunch. She thought better of it and picked up the phone, "Brannon Law Offices, how may I help you?"
"Buffy?" Spike's voice came through the phone, "Please don't hang up."
"What, Spike? I'm kind of busy here, working you know." She lied as she fished another pretzel from the bag.
"I wanted to come by and see you later, please?" He tried to sound calm.
"Spike, I'm working late and by the time I get the girls home, we won't feel like company." She sighed into the phone, "I really do need to talk to you sometime though, I talked to Dawn...."
"You did?" His voice had that hopeful ring she remembered so well.
"Yes, and she explained a few things, but I'm just not going to be up to going over it tonight, it's already been a long day. Will you be in town tomorrow?"
"Sure, I'll be here as long as you want me to be."
"Spike.....I can't, I mean I.....I'll call you later okay?" She hung up the phone and took a long sip off her coke, so not wanting to have that conversation.
Spike hung up the phone deciding that he couldn't wait until tomorrow, he had waited too long, his decision to never see her again seemed utterly stupid now. Despite the fact that he didn't regret her happy marriage and children and he would have never interfered with that, now that the situation was so different, all it took was one look at her in that park and he knew.....knew he would never stop loving her.
Buffy was well known for procrastinating when it came to emotional confrontations, he wanted to get this all out in the open now. If she was working late he would just swing by there at dusk and see her for a few minutes maybe he could help somehow, possibly pick the girls up from daycare for her, he wasn't going to give up until he made her see that he still cared, still loved her, already loved those little girls.
He showered and dressed and tried to watch tv as he paced the small room waiting for darkness.
Buffy looked at the clock on her desk, 6 o'clock, just one more hour and she could go. Mr. Brannon still had someone in his office and he'd been very busy this afternoon so he had not had much time to bother her. She was grateful for that but her heart sunk when she heard him saying goodbye to the client and heard his footprints heading down the hall towards her office.
"Buffy." He called out as he entered her office, "That's a lovely name......for a lovely lady."
He sat down on the corner of her desk.
***
Spike pulled on his jacket as the sun went down, he grabbed his keys and went to find Buffy's office. It didn't take long and her car was still in the parking lot. "Now or never?" His words seemed loud in the empty car. He parked and got out walking towards the building.
**
"Thank you, Mr. Brannon. Is there something I can help you with?" She smiled nervously as she rearranged some paperwork.
"I think you could probably help me with, " He leaned over the desk his face close to here, "lots of things Buffy. I'm sure you would be a big help at relieving some of my stress." He raised his
eyebrow suggestively.
"Mr. Brannon, I really like my job here and I'm flattered, but... I really don't think it's a good idea ....."
"You don't mix business with pleasure?" He grinned at her.
"No, sir. I don't think thats a good idea." She took a deep breath and stood up behind her desk.
He took her by surprise and lunged over the desk at her trapping her between the wall and the desk, he pressed against her, "It can still be business, Buffy, I'll make sure you're paid for any services you perform."
Buffy's anger flared as he put his hands on her upper arms, she sighed inwardly, I really needed this job was her last thought before she wrenched one arm free and made a fist, she pulled back to hit him, but didn't get the chance.
Spike had entered the room and was roughly pulling Brannon off of Buffy, "I believe the lady was saying no."
He raised his own fist to hit the man but was stopped by Buffy. "Spike, don't. Please." She pleaded hoping she could still get out of this with a job - at least until she could find another.
Brannon looked from Buffy to Spike, "I didn't know she was seeing someone, if she had told me..." Brannon started to explain.
"I'm no...." Buffy started to explain then thought better of it, maybe it was a good thing if he thought she was seeing someone.
"It didn't look like that would have mattered to you." Spike stared at the man icily. "Trust me I know when this woman says no, that's what she means. You can't go around treating women like that. you don't force a woman..." Spike's voice began to lower to an almost whisper.
"It's okay, Spike. I'm okay." Buffy touched his arm.
Brannon sneered at them, "I think you both better leave, Buffy your check will be in the mail tomorrow. Probably wouldn't have been worth the expensive dinner anyway." He snarked as he started to leave the room.
Spike's fist met his face within seconds of the last statement. Brannon reached up to his nose and felt the blood running down his face, he picked up the phone off of Buffy's desk and heaved it at Spike's head, it made contact and soon Spike had blood running down his forehead.
Mr. Brannon quickly exited the room.
Buffy simply gathered her purse and her pictures of her chidren from her desk. Spike was still very quiet as he watched her, "He could have, he was going to...force you."
"I wouldn't have let him, Spike. Come on, let's go, we need to get that cut fixed up." She shook her head as she looked around the office, what was she going to do about a job?
He followed her outside the office, "I'm sorry, I just couldn't let him do......what I almost did." His eyes were filled with horror at the memory from so long ago.
"Spike, it's okay, we aren't going there. If you want to pick at scabs on old wounds you'll have to to do it alone, I'm not going to help. I'm going to get the girls, meet me at my place okay?" She touched his arm again, "I'm okay, jobless but okay."
"I'm sorry, Buffy, I didn't mean to.....I guess I better let you go get the girls. You don't have to worry with the cut, it's nothing."
"Don't be silly, you kind of rescued me so it's the least I can do. The girls will be happy to see you anyway, Brenna was mad at me for sending you away last night." She gave him a small smile.
"She was?" He grinned.
"You know she was, she likes you..... alot." Buffy sighed, "See you in a few minutes."
"Okay, I'll be there." He got into his car, maybe he has chance.
She drove off wondering how quickly she could find another job after this last check she would only have the meager savings in her account to live on.
"You're a little early?" Miss Marie greeted Buffy with the girls at her side.
"Yes, I didn't have to stay as late as I had thought." Buffy explained as she grabbed the girls backpacks.
"Can we go to the park?" Brenna asked as she got in her seat.
"Not tonight, sweetie, it's a little late. But I do have a surprise for you at home." Buffy smiled at the little girls in the rearview mirror.
"Surprise?" Brenna asks with a grin.
"Yay!" Tierney claps her hands.
Buffy pulled up in the driveway and Spike's car wasn't there, where is he? I shouldn't have told the kids they had a surprise, he must have changed his mind she sighed as she parked the car.
"Where is the surprise, mommy?" Brenna wants to know.
"In a minute, sweetie." Buffy puts her off. I'll have to think of something and as she's going over possible surprises in her mind, a car pulls into the driveway.
"Mr. Spike!" Brenna and Tierney call out to him as he exits the car, happy meals in hand.
"Are you our surprise?" Brenna asks him as Buffy looks on, a small smile on her face.
"I guess I am." He smiles at Buffy over the girls heads, "And I brought dinner." He waved the McDonald's bags at the girls.
"Mr. Spike....your blooding on your head." Brenna notes with a frown, "You need some bactine and a bandaid."
"It's okay, Brenna. I'm gonna fix him up." Buffy answerrf for him.
"Good." Brenna took one of the small bags from him.
"Nuggets?" Tierney questions him.
"Yes, sweet bit, it's nuggets."
She gave him her biggest smile and takes the other bag walking towards the house.
"You learned what makes them happy pretty quickly." Buffy raised her eyebrow at him.
"They're pretty easy to please. Thier mom is the hard one." He teased her as they walked into the house.
"Mommy is going to fix Mr. Spike's cut and then we'll be right back. " Buffy told the girls as she settled them at the table with their food.
Spike followed her into the living room, "I'll be right back with the first aid kit and we'll get you fixed up."
He waited for her on the couch, she sat down next to him and lay out her supplies, she dabbed at the cut with an alcohol soaked cotton ball. He winced, "I thought Brenna said bactine?"
She rolled her eyes at him, "Are you four years old?"
He sighed, "Just saying."
She put the bandaid on and absently ran her hand through his hair pushing a random girl back off of his forehead. She quickly tried to pull her hand back when she'd realized what she had done.
He reached for her hand before she could pull it away from him and looked into her eyes, "Buffy, we have to talk." His hand gently held hers, " I Iove you. I always have and always will. If you don't feel the same way, if you don't think you can ever feel that way, it's okay, I understand."
"Spike...I don't know.......I've got the girls to worry about now. What if somewhere down the line you decide it's in their best interest that you leave? You can't go around breaking children's hearts...if it was just me, it would be different...." Buffy's voice was full of conflicting emotions.
"I'm not going to hurt you or those girls. I already love them, they're a part of you. I want to take care of all of you. I want to make up for all the hurt you've been through." He squeezed her hand tightly.
"You're here and part of me just wants to let you take care of me, but a very large part of me is scared to let anyone take care of me again." Her brow furrowed as she thought things over.
"Would you be willing to at least give me a chance to prove to you that I'm going to stick around this time. I'm not going anywhere." His eyes and his voice were full of sincerity.
"How about your job in LA?" Buffy raised her eyebrows at him questioningly, "You already have to leave if you're going back to work."
"I'm gonna talk to Angel, he's talked about a second office. Doesn't matter I've got money saved and I can find something here."
She couldn't hide her surprise, "You...you want to move here?"
"If thats what it takes, I want to be where you are, where Brenna and Tierney are. I'd move to Alaska if that's what you wanted ." He smiled at her, she seemed to be warming up some.
"The girls feelings would have to come first, we would have to be very careful with them." Buffy's lip began to tremble, she couldn't believe she was even contemplating this.
"Of course, the girls are the priority here." He agreed with her.
"And it has to be slow, Spike. We aren't good with the rushing in." She warned solemnly.
"Slow, we can go slow." He was almost afraid to answer, afraid she might change her mind.
"Okay, then." She nodded her head and gathered up the first aid supplies.
"Okay." He agreed as she stood beside her, "I think I owe the girls a book and when I've read it I'll go. Give you a bit of time to think, is that slow enough?"
She smiled at him, "I think that will work."
He then leaned over and placed a gentle, barely there kiss on her forehead, "Been wanting to do that since I saw you in the park."
She laughed softly as she raised her face to his for a real kiss, lips barely brushed against each other when they were interrupted by peals of giggling.
"Tierney!" Brenna was calling her sister, "Come here....Mr. Spike and mommy kissed!"
TBC
drifiting back to yesterday morning, there was no rushng, her children got to sleep in without being hauled to daycare and ....and.....Spike had been here. Get over it, Buffy! She grumbled as she ran the brush through her hair. Thoughts of Spike could only lead to heartache.
"Mommy!!!" Tierney ran into the bathroom and clung to Buffy's legs.
Brenna followed fast on her heels, "Give it back, Tierney."
Tierney peeked at her sister from behind Buffy's legs, "No."
"What is it, Brenna?" Buffy tried to remove Tierney's grip from her leg.
"She's got my hair barrette and she won't give it back." Brenna pouted as she stepped towards the younger girl.
"Tierney, let me see?" Buffy knelt beside her daughter she carefully pried open Tierney's fist, and revealed a plain blue barrette. "Let's give this back to Brenna, okay?"
Tierney frowned as Buffy handed the barette to Brenna. "Brenna, you have lots of blue barettes, sweetie, what's so special about this one?"
"Mr. Spike put it in my hair yesterday and he said it made me look smashing, that means pretty." Brenna smiled at her mom.
"Oh, I see. Well, I think any barette you wear makes you look smashing." Buffy teased the little girl and picked up the brush to her her hair, pulling her bangs back with the blue barette. She put on a very happy face but inside it hurt a little, in a matter of days Spike had already made a big impression on her girls. What would happen if she let them spend even more time with him?
Tierney insisted on a blue barrette also, Buffy grinned as she watched the girls walk out to the car, she could never imagine life without them. She buckled them into the seats, "Okay, girls, mommy has to work late tonight, so you'll be with Miss Marie after Miss Jan leaves tonight,okay?"
Marie came in and worked the evening shift at the daycare, the girls weren't as familiar with her as Jan, but they seemed to like her and Buffy felt comfortable with her too. She just hated her girls having to stay late at all.
****
Mr. Brannon popped into her office several times through the morning, he brought her a bagel and sat around chatting for several minutes before his first client showed up. He continued to make Buffy nervous, she hoped by politely declining his invitations he would get the message that she wasn't interested.
At noon Buffy leaned back in her chair, her boss had a lunchtime meeting so she was in the office alone. She opened her diet soda and a bag of pretzels for lunch, the phone rang and she was tempted to let the machine get it, afterall it was technically her lunch. She thought better of it and picked up the phone, "Brannon Law Offices, how may I help you?"
"Buffy?" Spike's voice came through the phone, "Please don't hang up."
"What, Spike? I'm kind of busy here, working you know." She lied as she fished another pretzel from the bag.
"I wanted to come by and see you later, please?" He tried to sound calm.
"Spike, I'm working late and by the time I get the girls home, we won't feel like company." She sighed into the phone, "I really do need to talk to you sometime though, I talked to Dawn...."
"You did?" His voice had that hopeful ring she remembered so well.
"Yes, and she explained a few things, but I'm just not going to be up to going over it tonight, it's already been a long day. Will you be in town tomorrow?"
"Sure, I'll be here as long as you want me to be."
"Spike.....I can't, I mean I.....I'll call you later okay?" She hung up the phone and took a long sip off her coke, so not wanting to have that conversation.
Spike hung up the phone deciding that he couldn't wait until tomorrow, he had waited too long, his decision to never see her again seemed utterly stupid now. Despite the fact that he didn't regret her happy marriage and children and he would have never interfered with that, now that the situation was so different, all it took was one look at her in that park and he knew.....knew he would never stop loving her.
Buffy was well known for procrastinating when it came to emotional confrontations, he wanted to get this all out in the open now. If she was working late he would just swing by there at dusk and see her for a few minutes maybe he could help somehow, possibly pick the girls up from daycare for her, he wasn't going to give up until he made her see that he still cared, still loved her, already loved those little girls.
He showered and dressed and tried to watch tv as he paced the small room waiting for darkness.
Buffy looked at the clock on her desk, 6 o'clock, just one more hour and she could go. Mr. Brannon still had someone in his office and he'd been very busy this afternoon so he had not had much time to bother her. She was grateful for that but her heart sunk when she heard him saying goodbye to the client and heard his footprints heading down the hall towards her office.
"Buffy." He called out as he entered her office, "That's a lovely name......for a lovely lady."
He sat down on the corner of her desk.
***
Spike pulled on his jacket as the sun went down, he grabbed his keys and went to find Buffy's office. It didn't take long and her car was still in the parking lot. "Now or never?" His words seemed loud in the empty car. He parked and got out walking towards the building.
**
"Thank you, Mr. Brannon. Is there something I can help you with?" She smiled nervously as she rearranged some paperwork.
"I think you could probably help me with, " He leaned over the desk his face close to here, "lots of things Buffy. I'm sure you would be a big help at relieving some of my stress." He raised his
eyebrow suggestively.
"Mr. Brannon, I really like my job here and I'm flattered, but... I really don't think it's a good idea ....."
"You don't mix business with pleasure?" He grinned at her.
"No, sir. I don't think thats a good idea." She took a deep breath and stood up behind her desk.
He took her by surprise and lunged over the desk at her trapping her between the wall and the desk, he pressed against her, "It can still be business, Buffy, I'll make sure you're paid for any services you perform."
Buffy's anger flared as he put his hands on her upper arms, she sighed inwardly, I really needed this job was her last thought before she wrenched one arm free and made a fist, she pulled back to hit him, but didn't get the chance.
Spike had entered the room and was roughly pulling Brannon off of Buffy, "I believe the lady was saying no."
He raised his own fist to hit the man but was stopped by Buffy. "Spike, don't. Please." She pleaded hoping she could still get out of this with a job - at least until she could find another.
Brannon looked from Buffy to Spike, "I didn't know she was seeing someone, if she had told me..." Brannon started to explain.
"I'm no...." Buffy started to explain then thought better of it, maybe it was a good thing if he thought she was seeing someone.
"It didn't look like that would have mattered to you." Spike stared at the man icily. "Trust me I know when this woman says no, that's what she means. You can't go around treating women like that. you don't force a woman..." Spike's voice began to lower to an almost whisper.
"It's okay, Spike. I'm okay." Buffy touched his arm.
Brannon sneered at them, "I think you both better leave, Buffy your check will be in the mail tomorrow. Probably wouldn't have been worth the expensive dinner anyway." He snarked as he started to leave the room.
Spike's fist met his face within seconds of the last statement. Brannon reached up to his nose and felt the blood running down his face, he picked up the phone off of Buffy's desk and heaved it at Spike's head, it made contact and soon Spike had blood running down his forehead.
Mr. Brannon quickly exited the room.
Buffy simply gathered her purse and her pictures of her chidren from her desk. Spike was still very quiet as he watched her, "He could have, he was going to...force you."
"I wouldn't have let him, Spike. Come on, let's go, we need to get that cut fixed up." She shook her head as she looked around the office, what was she going to do about a job?
He followed her outside the office, "I'm sorry, I just couldn't let him do......what I almost did." His eyes were filled with horror at the memory from so long ago.
"Spike, it's okay, we aren't going there. If you want to pick at scabs on old wounds you'll have to to do it alone, I'm not going to help. I'm going to get the girls, meet me at my place okay?" She touched his arm again, "I'm okay, jobless but okay."
"I'm sorry, Buffy, I didn't mean to.....I guess I better let you go get the girls. You don't have to worry with the cut, it's nothing."
"Don't be silly, you kind of rescued me so it's the least I can do. The girls will be happy to see you anyway, Brenna was mad at me for sending you away last night." She gave him a small smile.
"She was?" He grinned.
"You know she was, she likes you..... alot." Buffy sighed, "See you in a few minutes."
"Okay, I'll be there." He got into his car, maybe he has chance.
She drove off wondering how quickly she could find another job after this last check she would only have the meager savings in her account to live on.
"You're a little early?" Miss Marie greeted Buffy with the girls at her side.
"Yes, I didn't have to stay as late as I had thought." Buffy explained as she grabbed the girls backpacks.
"Can we go to the park?" Brenna asked as she got in her seat.
"Not tonight, sweetie, it's a little late. But I do have a surprise for you at home." Buffy smiled at the little girls in the rearview mirror.
"Surprise?" Brenna asks with a grin.
"Yay!" Tierney claps her hands.
Buffy pulled up in the driveway and Spike's car wasn't there, where is he? I shouldn't have told the kids they had a surprise, he must have changed his mind she sighed as she parked the car.
"Where is the surprise, mommy?" Brenna wants to know.
"In a minute, sweetie." Buffy puts her off. I'll have to think of something and as she's going over possible surprises in her mind, a car pulls into the driveway.
"Mr. Spike!" Brenna and Tierney call out to him as he exits the car, happy meals in hand.
"Are you our surprise?" Brenna asks him as Buffy looks on, a small smile on her face.
"I guess I am." He smiles at Buffy over the girls heads, "And I brought dinner." He waved the McDonald's bags at the girls.
"Mr. Spike....your blooding on your head." Brenna notes with a frown, "You need some bactine and a bandaid."
"It's okay, Brenna. I'm gonna fix him up." Buffy answerrf for him.
"Good." Brenna took one of the small bags from him.
"Nuggets?" Tierney questions him.
"Yes, sweet bit, it's nuggets."
She gave him her biggest smile and takes the other bag walking towards the house.
"You learned what makes them happy pretty quickly." Buffy raised her eyebrow at him.
"They're pretty easy to please. Thier mom is the hard one." He teased her as they walked into the house.
"Mommy is going to fix Mr. Spike's cut and then we'll be right back. " Buffy told the girls as she settled them at the table with their food.
Spike followed her into the living room, "I'll be right back with the first aid kit and we'll get you fixed up."
He waited for her on the couch, she sat down next to him and lay out her supplies, she dabbed at the cut with an alcohol soaked cotton ball. He winced, "I thought Brenna said bactine?"
She rolled her eyes at him, "Are you four years old?"
He sighed, "Just saying."
She put the bandaid on and absently ran her hand through his hair pushing a random girl back off of his forehead. She quickly tried to pull her hand back when she'd realized what she had done.
He reached for her hand before she could pull it away from him and looked into her eyes, "Buffy, we have to talk." His hand gently held hers, " I Iove you. I always have and always will. If you don't feel the same way, if you don't think you can ever feel that way, it's okay, I understand."
"Spike...I don't know.......I've got the girls to worry about now. What if somewhere down the line you decide it's in their best interest that you leave? You can't go around breaking children's hearts...if it was just me, it would be different...." Buffy's voice was full of conflicting emotions.
"I'm not going to hurt you or those girls. I already love them, they're a part of you. I want to take care of all of you. I want to make up for all the hurt you've been through." He squeezed her hand tightly.
"You're here and part of me just wants to let you take care of me, but a very large part of me is scared to let anyone take care of me again." Her brow furrowed as she thought things over.
"Would you be willing to at least give me a chance to prove to you that I'm going to stick around this time. I'm not going anywhere." His eyes and his voice were full of sincerity.
"How about your job in LA?" Buffy raised her eyebrows at him questioningly, "You already have to leave if you're going back to work."
"I'm gonna talk to Angel, he's talked about a second office. Doesn't matter I've got money saved and I can find something here."
She couldn't hide her surprise, "You...you want to move here?"
"If thats what it takes, I want to be where you are, where Brenna and Tierney are. I'd move to Alaska if that's what you wanted ." He smiled at her, she seemed to be warming up some.
"The girls feelings would have to come first, we would have to be very careful with them." Buffy's lip began to tremble, she couldn't believe she was even contemplating this.
"Of course, the girls are the priority here." He agreed with her.
"And it has to be slow, Spike. We aren't good with the rushing in." She warned solemnly.
"Slow, we can go slow." He was almost afraid to answer, afraid she might change her mind.
"Okay, then." She nodded her head and gathered up the first aid supplies.
"Okay." He agreed as she stood beside her, "I think I owe the girls a book and when I've read it I'll go. Give you a bit of time to think, is that slow enough?"
She smiled at him, "I think that will work."
He then leaned over and placed a gentle, barely there kiss on her forehead, "Been wanting to do that since I saw you in the park."
She laughed softly as she raised her face to his for a real kiss, lips barely brushed against each other when they were interrupted by peals of giggling.
"Tierney!" Brenna was calling her sister, "Come here....Mr. Spike and mommy kissed!"
TBC
