[u]Part 8[/u]
"Why are you both looking at me like that?" Liz demanded nervously, backing up and almost giving into the urge to cower behind Alex.
"How are we looking at you Liz?" Maria asked pleasantly, still smiling, although there was a wicked gleam in her blue eyes.
"Like you're about to gang up on me."
"We're your best friends Liz," Serena said. "We would [I]never[/I] so such a thing! And what do we have to gang up on your about anyway?"
Liz grimaced. This was worse than she had expected. While she was glad that Serena and Maria seemed to now be on the same team, it had never once occurred to her that their team might turn on [I]her[/I].
"I don't know," Liz replied weakly.
"Other than the fact that you've lied to your best friends that is," Maria continued, narrowing her eyes. "It's funny how being hurt like that can bond people."
"She told [I]me[/I] the truth right away," Alex inserted. Liz glanced at him, could see that he looked just as worried as she did. Liz smiled at him gratefully, although she knew that nothing he said was going to save her from the wrath about to rain down on her head.
"I really am sorry about that," Liz began. And she was. It was just that all of her lies and half-truths stemmed from one [I]huge[/I] secret - one that no one else could ever find out about. Because, if they did, all she had done to save them all would have been in vain. And as long as that secret had to stay buried, she knew that she was never going to be able to truly be honest with her friends. "I should have told you I had powers." She looked at Serena in particular when she said this. "It's one of the reasons I told you about the alien-status of the others in the first place. So that if something weird happened you'd understand, but somehow I just couldn't bring myself to tell you I'm a little green around the gills too."
Serena was staring at her, her expression softening. "What I want to know is [I]why[/I] Liz. Why couldn't you tell me?"
Liz swallowed. "I."
"I'll tell you the conclusion Maria and I reached. We think it's because the fact that you have powers means that you're still connected to Max."
Liz blinked. "What?" She didn't understand what Serena was getting at. While it was true that her new gifts did indeed mean that she would forever be marked by Max Evans, she certainly in no way [I]wanted[/I] to be. She had chosen to leave him behind because she had been asked to and she had also decided that the only way to [I]really[/I] do it was to allow herself to forget him. It was why she had found herself falling in love with Sean after all. She had [I]made[/I] herself allow it to happen.
She had made herself forget Max.
The fact that she was still connected to him in such a fundamental way was a nuisance more than anything. Sure it was fun to have powers, but she tried to forget where she'd gotten them.
Didn't she?
The expression on both Serena and Maria's faces seemed to indicate they didn't believe it.
"You wanted something of him to keep for yourself," Maria said firmly. "Which means that you still love him." She narrowed her eyes at Liz. "Max did not tell you he didn't want to stay married to you if you couldn't have kids. I [I]know[/I] he didn't. Max was adopted Liz. He wouldn't care. He would have wanted you anyway and he would have suggested adoption."
Liz's blood ran cold. Maria really [I]did[/I] know Max now. Because, of course, that was exactly what he had told her.
[I]It's you who is irreplaceable Liz. We can adopt someday because I know better than anyone how many kids out there need to be loved. But when it comes to my [/I]wife[I], there is no one else. You're it. You're the only one. You have always been the only one. You always will be.[/I]
And the fact that he had not gotten together with Tess when she left only confirmed that if Max Evans was anything, he wasn't a liar.
Liz closed her eyes and collapsed onto the bed.
There was a long silence. Liz buried her face in her hands and didn't look up, even after she felt Alex sit beside her, his strong hand on her back in support. She couldn't bear to see the expression of censure on Maria's face. Because Maria had somehow figured out that Liz had actually been on the verge of telling her the biggest lie of all. That Max had rejected [I]her[/I].
Why? Why couldn't it have happened that way? Why did he have to make it so difficult? She had made her choice. There was no other to have been made. But he wouldn't let go of her. It was supremely ironic that it was Max who was holding on so tightly, considering why she had left in the first place. It also wasn't fair.
How strong was she expected to be?
"Liz, babe, you [I]need[/I] to tell us." Maria's voice was not confrontational, but sympathetic. "How can we help you if you won't tell us?"
"I can't," Liz whispered. "I cannot tell you. I'm sorry. Just know that you're right about Max. He is not to blame." She glanced at Serena and said firmly, "Neither is Tess. I know she blames herself, but neither of them really knows what happened. They think they do, but they don't." She paused. "If you want to help me Maria, then fine. I [I]need[/I] my divorce." Liz raised her chin, stared right into Maria's eyes. "Maria, I [I]need[/I] this."
She knew this was true now more than ever. Because even if there was no Sean, Max had to move on. He had to.
The fate of the world depended on it.
Liz watched Maria's gaze meet Alex's. She felt Alex shrug helplessly beside her.
Maria closed her eyes, sighing. "Okay, Liz. Okay. I'll talk to Max. I think he's at my house right now. He and Michael are watching the game. I was supposed to go to a restaurant thingy but I'll skip it. I'll get him to sign those papers."
Liz almost collapsed in relief. She just knew that she could not face Max again. It was too hard, especially after seeing how bitter he had become. Which was just another thing to add to the guilt complex she had been living with for five years. "Thank you," she said quietly.
She stood, went to her bag and pulled out the blue legal document, then handed it to Maria. "I really wish I could tell you Maria. I do. Thank you for trusting me."
Maria pressed her lips together. "I once told you I'd always have your back Liz and I meant it. Michael is my husband and Max, Isabel and Tess are my friends, but without you I wouldn't know any of them. I'll stand with you on this. You have a right to make your own decisions."
Liz flinched at the mention of Michael. "This isn't going to screw things up between you and Michael is it?" She asked warily.
"Nah." Maria waved her hand in the air dismissively. "He'll support me. Michael wants Max to move on more than anyone. The constant angst really tires him out."
Liz felt a pang of regret at that. "I guess he and Isabel really hate me huh?"
Maria sighed. "Can you really blame them Liz? They don't know [I]anything.[/I] Max never told us what happened, even after he came back."
"Came back?" Liz asked wearily. "Came back from where?"
"From New York," Maria replied, looking at Liz strangely.
"What do you mean Max came to New York?" Liz shared an astonished look with Serena.
"You didn't know?" Maria demanded. "He went when we finally found out where you'd gone. Your first collection was all over the local news Liz. Of course Max went." She paused. "We never asked him what happened, just assumed that it was [I]really[/I] over when he didn't want to talk about it." She shook her head in disbelief. "Are you telling me he never saw you?"
"I swear Maria. Max [I]never[/I]came to New York," Liz replied, frowning. Why had Max come to New York if he hadn't intended to see her? Or had he just told everyone he had? "When was this?" Liz asked, trying to understand how this could have happened.
"About three years ago," Alex offered helpfully.
Liz brought her hands up and rubbed her temples wearily. "I can't believe he did that."
"Liz, [I]of course[/I] he did it," Maria said, sounding tired. "Seriously. If anyone should know how much Max loved you, it's you." She sighed again. "But if he didn't see you, I don't know what the heck he was doing up there."
"God," Serena said, sounding stupefied. "Liz, this changes [I]everything[/I]."
Liz wished she could agree. Only five minutes ago, the absolute last thing that she had ever wanted to do was face Max again. Now the [I]only[/I] thing she wanted to do was confront him.
He [I]had[/I] come after her. And she had never known. While it did not change things - she still couldn't be with him - it did mean that she had absolutely no right to feel like an injured party.
Max was the only victim here.
So much for letting go of the guilt.
Liz forced herself to sit down on the bed. As much as she wanted to find out why Max had gone to New York and why she had not seen him, she needed the divorce over with. She could not see him again. Because if he actually told her, if she actually heard him tell her that he wouldn't sign the papers because he did not want to let her go, she might waver.
She could not waver.
"It doesn't change anything," Liz said quietly, hoping that they believed her. She did not look up to see Maria and Serena exchange surprised glances.
Maria's voice was disappointed as she said, "Fine. I really wish I knew what was going on with you Liz, but I told you I would do this and I will. Let me just state for the record though, I think you're making a mistake."
"I love Sean now," Liz replied stubbornly. "When you meet him, you'll understand. Right Rena?"
Serena did not sound convinced when she said a perfunctory, "Right."
Maria turned to go. "Wait!" Serena continued, looking thoughtful.
"What?" Maria asked.
"Can I come with you?"
"Serena!" Liz exclaimed.
"I'm sorry Liz, but I need to meet this Max. It's the only way I'm going to really be able to understand this."
Liz stared after her two girlfriends in consternation as they whirled out of the room for the second time in less than an hour.
"Well, I guess it's just the two of us," Alex said, obviously trying to mask how upset he was. Liz didn't blame him. She had flat-out admitted to them all that she was going to continue lying to them. It was going to affect all of their relationships. She was just lucky that her friends loved her enough to continue to try with her. She knew she didn't deserve it. "Wanna go for a midnight snack?"
Liz closed her eyes, decided she would play along. "Where?"
"How 'bout Senor Chow's?" Alex asked. "It's either there or the Crashdown. We don't have New York choices Lizziebean."
"Fine. Senor Chow's is fine," Liz replied. There were memories associated with that particular restaurant of course, but there were memories [I]everywhere[/I] in Roswell. At least the Mexican/Chinese restaurant had [I]good[/I] memories. She needed out of this hotel room. She felt like she was about to suffocate.
Maria had gone to get Max to sign the divorce papers. Max had come to New York. Serena was going to meet Max.
It was just too much. Was it wrong that she just wanted to forget about all of it for a while?
"Let's go get drunk," Liz said, following Alex out the door.
********************************************
"Michael, I can't believe you're bringing your baby daughter into a bar," Max said. Tess saw him shaking his head as they followed their friend into Senor Chow's. "Maria is going to kill you."
"What 'Ria doesn't know won't hurt her," Michael replied. "Besides, it's not my fault the satellite went out. I'm [I]not[/I] missing this game. Not to mention, we had her in the restaurant earlier. What's the difference?"
Only about fifty smokers, give or take a few drunken bums, Tess reflected. "Okay," she shrugged. "But don't say we didn't warn you."
Tess had hurried over to Michael and Maria's when Max had called her, inviting her along because they had decided to go out instead. It had never once occurred to her that they intended to bring Eliza into a bar however. She should have known, although it was unlike Michael. He rarely, if ever, did anything to jeopardize his daughter's health.
They settled themselves at a table in the bar section of the Mexican/Chinese restaurant. Michael glared over his shoulder at an old coot sitting at the bar who was puffing on a cigarette. "Excuse me," he said. "I don't appreciate you smoking around my kid."
"Here we go," Max whispered, sounding amused. Tess was glad that Michael's antics were taking his mind off of Liz. If anyone needed a night out, it was Max.
"Then take your kid out of here," the old coot grumbled.
Michael's expression was fierce as he started to rise.
Tess sighed, closed her eyes and mindwarped the guy into compliance. When she opened them he was staring at his cigarette in horror. "Jeez, sorry man. I don't even smoke." He hurriedly stubbed it out.
Michael sat back down. "Thanks man."
Max and Tess exchanged glances, Max rolling his eyes. Trust Michael to expect the entire world to march to [I]his[/I] drummer.
"Thanks Tess," Michael said, settling back in this chair, Eliza on his shoulder. The baby was sound asleep.
"No problem."
They ordered cherry colas all around and settled in to watch the game, Max and Michael groaning every few minutes because the Cardinals were playing like "crap" as Michael termed it.
Tess felt her attention drifting as she lazily dumped more sugar into her second soda. While she was forced to watch football on a regular basis thanks to her fiancé, it still wasn't her favorite past-time. But since Kyle had been on duty tonight and she hadn't wanted to sit at home alone worrying about Max or wondering if she should go talk to Liz, she had jumped at the chance to join the guys.
She [I]knew[/I] she should talk to Liz. She just hadn't worked up the nerve to do it yet. She would though. Really.
Of course, thinking that way tempted fate. It was just Tess's luck that as her eyes passed the door they came into direct contact with Liz's.
She watched the other woman's gaze widen in horror, drift to the right and take in Max, who was still unaware of her presence.
Liz whirled abruptly, slamming into Alex, who was following her and causing their friend to exclaim in surprise. He saw Tess, Max and Michael, grimaced, but raised his hand in greeting, then gently turned Liz around and led her towards the bar.
The commotion had caught Max's attention. Tess felt her friend tense up instantly.
The relaxed mood was gone as simply as that. "Well, well," Max muttered under his breath. "If it isn't my prodigal wife."
"Max."
Max stood. He looked down at Tess, his expression blank. "I'm just going to have a word Tess. Isn't that what you told me to do?"
"In a bar?" Tess demanded, standing as well. "Without thinking about it first? I don't think this is a good idea Max." She looked towards Alex and Liz, who were now at the bar. Alex was facing them, looking uncertain as to what he was supposed to be doing - whether he should ignore them as Liz now seemed intent on doing, or whether he should come and say hello. Liz was ordering with a very intent look on her pretty face. "Liz doesn't look like she's in the mood to talk."
That was an understatement. Max's wife was evidently in the mood to drink. Liz had lined up three shots on the bar and was downing them in quick succession. As Tess and Max watched, she handed a fourth to Alex, picked up another one and clinked it with his before throwing back her head and slamming it.
"Well, I'm in the mood," Max snapped, shaking Tess's hand off his arm.
Tess sank back into her chair and met Michael's eyes, shaking her head sorrowfully.
This was going to be all bad.
***********************************
The fourth shot almost took the edge off, Liz reflected. Almost. "I'll have another one," she practically barked at the bartender.
"Liz, I don't think this is such a good." Alex was saying from behind her. "Oh man," he muttered abruptly, as though something had distracted him. Liz didn't turn but her friend's next words more than explained it. "Hi Max."
"Hi Alex."
Liz grimaced, closed her eyes for a moment. She knew the instant she had seen Tess and Max that they should have gone somewhere else. It was too late now though.
She turned, scowling. "So, have you come to sign my divorce papers?" Liz demanded, deciding that she better be confrontational right off the bat. Otherwise she might start to cry. She should not have downed all that tequila. How could she have forgotten how getting so intoxicated so fast always resulted in her crying at the slightest provocation?
And looking at Max now, remembering Maria's words, [I]If anyone should know how much Max loved you, it's you,[/I] she wanted to cry. She really did.
Damn. She had known that those words were going to haunt her.
Even though the expression of disapproval on Max's face now more than indicated that any love he had for her was strictly past tense. It was enough to make her want to start bawling.
So much for drowning her sorrows.
"Have you brought my money?" Max shot back, his eyes narrowed.
"Oh man," Alex muttered again. "Max, don't do this."
"Don't do what? Be mean?" Liz interrupted, turning her head and glaring at Alex. "Because Max isn't [I]mean[/I], is he? He would [I]never[/I] stoop to my level. Is that what you want to say Alex?"
"Liz, I'm going to take you back to the hotel," Alex told her firmly, ignoring her confrontational tone. He sounded upset. It was enough to make Liz want to start crying again.
Her friend's face was starting to swim in front of her eyes.
"I'm sorry Alex. I love you. You know that right?"
"Of course I know Lizzie," Alex soothed, bringing his arm around her shoulder. "Max, I'm taking her back."
"Fine," Max said. "But I have a few things to say first."
"Well I don't want to hear them," Liz told him, sticking her nose in the air. "You said enough this afternoon."
"I didn't say what I [I]really[/I] wanted to say," Max replied softly. Liz tried to focus on his face, to see if he was mocking her. He sounded entirely too gentle. That was not right. He was supposed to be mean so that she could feel perfectly justified in demanding her divorce. He wasn't supposed to remind her of before.Of all the other times she had heard that gentle tone when he was addressing her.
[I] Liz, I think that what I'm afraid of isn't that we try this and it works out really badly. What I'm afraid of is we try it and it works out really well. I'm afraid of feeling everything that I know I would feel. Because I know it's not meant to be. And somewhere down the line, we're going to get hurt. I can live with that. I just couldn't bear to hurt you.[/I]
Liz shook her head firmly, trying to force his voice out of her mind.
[I] The main thing is...I didn't just see what you saw. I felt...what you felt...when you saw me. And I never thought anyone could really...ever feel that way about me. [/I]
She closed her eyes, barely resisted raising her hands to push him out of her head.
[I]Whether I die tomorrow or fifty years from now, my destiny is the same. It's you. I want to be with you Liz. I love [/I]you.
She could [I]not[/I] stay here any longer. She [I]needed[/I] her divorce and she needed it now. She had to get back to New York and Sean or everything she had fought for over the past four years would go down the tubes.
She [I]had[/I] to get out of Roswell. Tonight. Divorced.
He was getting to her and the longer she stayed here the more likely she was to give in.
She could [I]not[/I] give in. She could [I]not[/I] do it.
There was only one thing to do. It was dirty pool - literally - but she had no choice.
Liz's eyes snapped open and she stared at Max. He looked concerned. "We don't always get what we want Max."
"What?" His confusion was evident.
"We both want something. We can't both have what we want."
He narrowed his eyes again. "Your point being?"
"I'll play you for it." Liz turned her head and stared at the pool table meaningfully.
"For what?" His confusion was evident.
"If I win, you sign my papers."
Max's face became a blank mask as he realized what she was doing. "And if I win?" He almost whispered, sounding a little scared.
"I tell you the real reason why I left."
"Why are you both looking at me like that?" Liz demanded nervously, backing up and almost giving into the urge to cower behind Alex.
"How are we looking at you Liz?" Maria asked pleasantly, still smiling, although there was a wicked gleam in her blue eyes.
"Like you're about to gang up on me."
"We're your best friends Liz," Serena said. "We would [I]never[/I] so such a thing! And what do we have to gang up on your about anyway?"
Liz grimaced. This was worse than she had expected. While she was glad that Serena and Maria seemed to now be on the same team, it had never once occurred to her that their team might turn on [I]her[/I].
"I don't know," Liz replied weakly.
"Other than the fact that you've lied to your best friends that is," Maria continued, narrowing her eyes. "It's funny how being hurt like that can bond people."
"She told [I]me[/I] the truth right away," Alex inserted. Liz glanced at him, could see that he looked just as worried as she did. Liz smiled at him gratefully, although she knew that nothing he said was going to save her from the wrath about to rain down on her head.
"I really am sorry about that," Liz began. And she was. It was just that all of her lies and half-truths stemmed from one [I]huge[/I] secret - one that no one else could ever find out about. Because, if they did, all she had done to save them all would have been in vain. And as long as that secret had to stay buried, she knew that she was never going to be able to truly be honest with her friends. "I should have told you I had powers." She looked at Serena in particular when she said this. "It's one of the reasons I told you about the alien-status of the others in the first place. So that if something weird happened you'd understand, but somehow I just couldn't bring myself to tell you I'm a little green around the gills too."
Serena was staring at her, her expression softening. "What I want to know is [I]why[/I] Liz. Why couldn't you tell me?"
Liz swallowed. "I."
"I'll tell you the conclusion Maria and I reached. We think it's because the fact that you have powers means that you're still connected to Max."
Liz blinked. "What?" She didn't understand what Serena was getting at. While it was true that her new gifts did indeed mean that she would forever be marked by Max Evans, she certainly in no way [I]wanted[/I] to be. She had chosen to leave him behind because she had been asked to and she had also decided that the only way to [I]really[/I] do it was to allow herself to forget him. It was why she had found herself falling in love with Sean after all. She had [I]made[/I] herself allow it to happen.
She had made herself forget Max.
The fact that she was still connected to him in such a fundamental way was a nuisance more than anything. Sure it was fun to have powers, but she tried to forget where she'd gotten them.
Didn't she?
The expression on both Serena and Maria's faces seemed to indicate they didn't believe it.
"You wanted something of him to keep for yourself," Maria said firmly. "Which means that you still love him." She narrowed her eyes at Liz. "Max did not tell you he didn't want to stay married to you if you couldn't have kids. I [I]know[/I] he didn't. Max was adopted Liz. He wouldn't care. He would have wanted you anyway and he would have suggested adoption."
Liz's blood ran cold. Maria really [I]did[/I] know Max now. Because, of course, that was exactly what he had told her.
[I]It's you who is irreplaceable Liz. We can adopt someday because I know better than anyone how many kids out there need to be loved. But when it comes to my [/I]wife[I], there is no one else. You're it. You're the only one. You have always been the only one. You always will be.[/I]
And the fact that he had not gotten together with Tess when she left only confirmed that if Max Evans was anything, he wasn't a liar.
Liz closed her eyes and collapsed onto the bed.
There was a long silence. Liz buried her face in her hands and didn't look up, even after she felt Alex sit beside her, his strong hand on her back in support. She couldn't bear to see the expression of censure on Maria's face. Because Maria had somehow figured out that Liz had actually been on the verge of telling her the biggest lie of all. That Max had rejected [I]her[/I].
Why? Why couldn't it have happened that way? Why did he have to make it so difficult? She had made her choice. There was no other to have been made. But he wouldn't let go of her. It was supremely ironic that it was Max who was holding on so tightly, considering why she had left in the first place. It also wasn't fair.
How strong was she expected to be?
"Liz, babe, you [I]need[/I] to tell us." Maria's voice was not confrontational, but sympathetic. "How can we help you if you won't tell us?"
"I can't," Liz whispered. "I cannot tell you. I'm sorry. Just know that you're right about Max. He is not to blame." She glanced at Serena and said firmly, "Neither is Tess. I know she blames herself, but neither of them really knows what happened. They think they do, but they don't." She paused. "If you want to help me Maria, then fine. I [I]need[/I] my divorce." Liz raised her chin, stared right into Maria's eyes. "Maria, I [I]need[/I] this."
She knew this was true now more than ever. Because even if there was no Sean, Max had to move on. He had to.
The fate of the world depended on it.
Liz watched Maria's gaze meet Alex's. She felt Alex shrug helplessly beside her.
Maria closed her eyes, sighing. "Okay, Liz. Okay. I'll talk to Max. I think he's at my house right now. He and Michael are watching the game. I was supposed to go to a restaurant thingy but I'll skip it. I'll get him to sign those papers."
Liz almost collapsed in relief. She just knew that she could not face Max again. It was too hard, especially after seeing how bitter he had become. Which was just another thing to add to the guilt complex she had been living with for five years. "Thank you," she said quietly.
She stood, went to her bag and pulled out the blue legal document, then handed it to Maria. "I really wish I could tell you Maria. I do. Thank you for trusting me."
Maria pressed her lips together. "I once told you I'd always have your back Liz and I meant it. Michael is my husband and Max, Isabel and Tess are my friends, but without you I wouldn't know any of them. I'll stand with you on this. You have a right to make your own decisions."
Liz flinched at the mention of Michael. "This isn't going to screw things up between you and Michael is it?" She asked warily.
"Nah." Maria waved her hand in the air dismissively. "He'll support me. Michael wants Max to move on more than anyone. The constant angst really tires him out."
Liz felt a pang of regret at that. "I guess he and Isabel really hate me huh?"
Maria sighed. "Can you really blame them Liz? They don't know [I]anything.[/I] Max never told us what happened, even after he came back."
"Came back?" Liz asked wearily. "Came back from where?"
"From New York," Maria replied, looking at Liz strangely.
"What do you mean Max came to New York?" Liz shared an astonished look with Serena.
"You didn't know?" Maria demanded. "He went when we finally found out where you'd gone. Your first collection was all over the local news Liz. Of course Max went." She paused. "We never asked him what happened, just assumed that it was [I]really[/I] over when he didn't want to talk about it." She shook her head in disbelief. "Are you telling me he never saw you?"
"I swear Maria. Max [I]never[/I]came to New York," Liz replied, frowning. Why had Max come to New York if he hadn't intended to see her? Or had he just told everyone he had? "When was this?" Liz asked, trying to understand how this could have happened.
"About three years ago," Alex offered helpfully.
Liz brought her hands up and rubbed her temples wearily. "I can't believe he did that."
"Liz, [I]of course[/I] he did it," Maria said, sounding tired. "Seriously. If anyone should know how much Max loved you, it's you." She sighed again. "But if he didn't see you, I don't know what the heck he was doing up there."
"God," Serena said, sounding stupefied. "Liz, this changes [I]everything[/I]."
Liz wished she could agree. Only five minutes ago, the absolute last thing that she had ever wanted to do was face Max again. Now the [I]only[/I] thing she wanted to do was confront him.
He [I]had[/I] come after her. And she had never known. While it did not change things - she still couldn't be with him - it did mean that she had absolutely no right to feel like an injured party.
Max was the only victim here.
So much for letting go of the guilt.
Liz forced herself to sit down on the bed. As much as she wanted to find out why Max had gone to New York and why she had not seen him, she needed the divorce over with. She could not see him again. Because if he actually told her, if she actually heard him tell her that he wouldn't sign the papers because he did not want to let her go, she might waver.
She could not waver.
"It doesn't change anything," Liz said quietly, hoping that they believed her. She did not look up to see Maria and Serena exchange surprised glances.
Maria's voice was disappointed as she said, "Fine. I really wish I knew what was going on with you Liz, but I told you I would do this and I will. Let me just state for the record though, I think you're making a mistake."
"I love Sean now," Liz replied stubbornly. "When you meet him, you'll understand. Right Rena?"
Serena did not sound convinced when she said a perfunctory, "Right."
Maria turned to go. "Wait!" Serena continued, looking thoughtful.
"What?" Maria asked.
"Can I come with you?"
"Serena!" Liz exclaimed.
"I'm sorry Liz, but I need to meet this Max. It's the only way I'm going to really be able to understand this."
Liz stared after her two girlfriends in consternation as they whirled out of the room for the second time in less than an hour.
"Well, I guess it's just the two of us," Alex said, obviously trying to mask how upset he was. Liz didn't blame him. She had flat-out admitted to them all that she was going to continue lying to them. It was going to affect all of their relationships. She was just lucky that her friends loved her enough to continue to try with her. She knew she didn't deserve it. "Wanna go for a midnight snack?"
Liz closed her eyes, decided she would play along. "Where?"
"How 'bout Senor Chow's?" Alex asked. "It's either there or the Crashdown. We don't have New York choices Lizziebean."
"Fine. Senor Chow's is fine," Liz replied. There were memories associated with that particular restaurant of course, but there were memories [I]everywhere[/I] in Roswell. At least the Mexican/Chinese restaurant had [I]good[/I] memories. She needed out of this hotel room. She felt like she was about to suffocate.
Maria had gone to get Max to sign the divorce papers. Max had come to New York. Serena was going to meet Max.
It was just too much. Was it wrong that she just wanted to forget about all of it for a while?
"Let's go get drunk," Liz said, following Alex out the door.
********************************************
"Michael, I can't believe you're bringing your baby daughter into a bar," Max said. Tess saw him shaking his head as they followed their friend into Senor Chow's. "Maria is going to kill you."
"What 'Ria doesn't know won't hurt her," Michael replied. "Besides, it's not my fault the satellite went out. I'm [I]not[/I] missing this game. Not to mention, we had her in the restaurant earlier. What's the difference?"
Only about fifty smokers, give or take a few drunken bums, Tess reflected. "Okay," she shrugged. "But don't say we didn't warn you."
Tess had hurried over to Michael and Maria's when Max had called her, inviting her along because they had decided to go out instead. It had never once occurred to her that they intended to bring Eliza into a bar however. She should have known, although it was unlike Michael. He rarely, if ever, did anything to jeopardize his daughter's health.
They settled themselves at a table in the bar section of the Mexican/Chinese restaurant. Michael glared over his shoulder at an old coot sitting at the bar who was puffing on a cigarette. "Excuse me," he said. "I don't appreciate you smoking around my kid."
"Here we go," Max whispered, sounding amused. Tess was glad that Michael's antics were taking his mind off of Liz. If anyone needed a night out, it was Max.
"Then take your kid out of here," the old coot grumbled.
Michael's expression was fierce as he started to rise.
Tess sighed, closed her eyes and mindwarped the guy into compliance. When she opened them he was staring at his cigarette in horror. "Jeez, sorry man. I don't even smoke." He hurriedly stubbed it out.
Michael sat back down. "Thanks man."
Max and Tess exchanged glances, Max rolling his eyes. Trust Michael to expect the entire world to march to [I]his[/I] drummer.
"Thanks Tess," Michael said, settling back in this chair, Eliza on his shoulder. The baby was sound asleep.
"No problem."
They ordered cherry colas all around and settled in to watch the game, Max and Michael groaning every few minutes because the Cardinals were playing like "crap" as Michael termed it.
Tess felt her attention drifting as she lazily dumped more sugar into her second soda. While she was forced to watch football on a regular basis thanks to her fiancé, it still wasn't her favorite past-time. But since Kyle had been on duty tonight and she hadn't wanted to sit at home alone worrying about Max or wondering if she should go talk to Liz, she had jumped at the chance to join the guys.
She [I]knew[/I] she should talk to Liz. She just hadn't worked up the nerve to do it yet. She would though. Really.
Of course, thinking that way tempted fate. It was just Tess's luck that as her eyes passed the door they came into direct contact with Liz's.
She watched the other woman's gaze widen in horror, drift to the right and take in Max, who was still unaware of her presence.
Liz whirled abruptly, slamming into Alex, who was following her and causing their friend to exclaim in surprise. He saw Tess, Max and Michael, grimaced, but raised his hand in greeting, then gently turned Liz around and led her towards the bar.
The commotion had caught Max's attention. Tess felt her friend tense up instantly.
The relaxed mood was gone as simply as that. "Well, well," Max muttered under his breath. "If it isn't my prodigal wife."
"Max."
Max stood. He looked down at Tess, his expression blank. "I'm just going to have a word Tess. Isn't that what you told me to do?"
"In a bar?" Tess demanded, standing as well. "Without thinking about it first? I don't think this is a good idea Max." She looked towards Alex and Liz, who were now at the bar. Alex was facing them, looking uncertain as to what he was supposed to be doing - whether he should ignore them as Liz now seemed intent on doing, or whether he should come and say hello. Liz was ordering with a very intent look on her pretty face. "Liz doesn't look like she's in the mood to talk."
That was an understatement. Max's wife was evidently in the mood to drink. Liz had lined up three shots on the bar and was downing them in quick succession. As Tess and Max watched, she handed a fourth to Alex, picked up another one and clinked it with his before throwing back her head and slamming it.
"Well, I'm in the mood," Max snapped, shaking Tess's hand off his arm.
Tess sank back into her chair and met Michael's eyes, shaking her head sorrowfully.
This was going to be all bad.
***********************************
The fourth shot almost took the edge off, Liz reflected. Almost. "I'll have another one," she practically barked at the bartender.
"Liz, I don't think this is such a good." Alex was saying from behind her. "Oh man," he muttered abruptly, as though something had distracted him. Liz didn't turn but her friend's next words more than explained it. "Hi Max."
"Hi Alex."
Liz grimaced, closed her eyes for a moment. She knew the instant she had seen Tess and Max that they should have gone somewhere else. It was too late now though.
She turned, scowling. "So, have you come to sign my divorce papers?" Liz demanded, deciding that she better be confrontational right off the bat. Otherwise she might start to cry. She should not have downed all that tequila. How could she have forgotten how getting so intoxicated so fast always resulted in her crying at the slightest provocation?
And looking at Max now, remembering Maria's words, [I]If anyone should know how much Max loved you, it's you,[/I] she wanted to cry. She really did.
Damn. She had known that those words were going to haunt her.
Even though the expression of disapproval on Max's face now more than indicated that any love he had for her was strictly past tense. It was enough to make her want to start bawling.
So much for drowning her sorrows.
"Have you brought my money?" Max shot back, his eyes narrowed.
"Oh man," Alex muttered again. "Max, don't do this."
"Don't do what? Be mean?" Liz interrupted, turning her head and glaring at Alex. "Because Max isn't [I]mean[/I], is he? He would [I]never[/I] stoop to my level. Is that what you want to say Alex?"
"Liz, I'm going to take you back to the hotel," Alex told her firmly, ignoring her confrontational tone. He sounded upset. It was enough to make Liz want to start crying again.
Her friend's face was starting to swim in front of her eyes.
"I'm sorry Alex. I love you. You know that right?"
"Of course I know Lizzie," Alex soothed, bringing his arm around her shoulder. "Max, I'm taking her back."
"Fine," Max said. "But I have a few things to say first."
"Well I don't want to hear them," Liz told him, sticking her nose in the air. "You said enough this afternoon."
"I didn't say what I [I]really[/I] wanted to say," Max replied softly. Liz tried to focus on his face, to see if he was mocking her. He sounded entirely too gentle. That was not right. He was supposed to be mean so that she could feel perfectly justified in demanding her divorce. He wasn't supposed to remind her of before.Of all the other times she had heard that gentle tone when he was addressing her.
[I] Liz, I think that what I'm afraid of isn't that we try this and it works out really badly. What I'm afraid of is we try it and it works out really well. I'm afraid of feeling everything that I know I would feel. Because I know it's not meant to be. And somewhere down the line, we're going to get hurt. I can live with that. I just couldn't bear to hurt you.[/I]
Liz shook her head firmly, trying to force his voice out of her mind.
[I] The main thing is...I didn't just see what you saw. I felt...what you felt...when you saw me. And I never thought anyone could really...ever feel that way about me. [/I]
She closed her eyes, barely resisted raising her hands to push him out of her head.
[I]Whether I die tomorrow or fifty years from now, my destiny is the same. It's you. I want to be with you Liz. I love [/I]you.
She could [I]not[/I] stay here any longer. She [I]needed[/I] her divorce and she needed it now. She had to get back to New York and Sean or everything she had fought for over the past four years would go down the tubes.
She [I]had[/I] to get out of Roswell. Tonight. Divorced.
He was getting to her and the longer she stayed here the more likely she was to give in.
She could [I]not[/I] give in. She could [I]not[/I] do it.
There was only one thing to do. It was dirty pool - literally - but she had no choice.
Liz's eyes snapped open and she stared at Max. He looked concerned. "We don't always get what we want Max."
"What?" His confusion was evident.
"We both want something. We can't both have what we want."
He narrowed his eyes again. "Your point being?"
"I'll play you for it." Liz turned her head and stared at the pool table meaningfully.
"For what?" His confusion was evident.
"If I win, you sign my papers."
Max's face became a blank mask as he realized what she was doing. "And if I win?" He almost whispered, sounding a little scared.
"I tell you the real reason why I left."
