[u]Part 18[/u]
"Liz, this is a mistake."
Liz ignored Serena as she hurried around the motel room, throwing her various pieces of clothing scattered around onto the bed so at to make it easier to pack. She had no idea how she had managed to make such a mess in such a short amount of time. The disarray in the room more than matched her emotional turmoil though. Her entire life was presently a disaster. The messy motel room was just the physical embodiment of it.
"Staying here this long was the mistake Serena," Liz retorted. "I should have left town as soon as Max signed those papers. I've only hurt him more by trying to fix things between us. We [I]can't[/I] be friends. That's more than obvious now. Which also means that I can't be friends with anyone else in Roswell. The least I can do is leave him them."
Her heart ached at the thought of shutting Alex and Maria out of her life again, but she had no choice. Maintaining any sort of contact with Max - even the mostly antagonistic relationship they had developped over the past few days - was impossible. She was on the verge of completely giving in. She could not see him again. Her willpower would not stand having to walk out on him even once more. It was an impossibility.
"I just don't understand why you're being so stubborn about this," Serena complained. "Maria's told me all about you two and from what I've seen.Liz, you still love him, he obviously wants you. What is the problem here?"
"You wouldn't understand," Liz sighed. "It's too long a story. I can't get into it now." And she couldn't. She couldn't even think about it anymore. She just had to leave. Now. There was a plane departing the small Roswell airstrip for Albuquerque in two hours and she fully intended to be on it.
"I wouldn't understand?" Serena demanded. "Liz, I understood when you told me your ex-husband was an alien. What makes you think I wouldn't understand this time?"
"You just wouldn't. No one can really understand Serena. I'm the only one who [I]really[/I] gets it because I'm the only one who saw what's going to happen if Max and I stay together. And I won't be responsible for it! I won't allow how much I love him to destroy the world. I just [I]won't![/I]" Liz screamed this last bit, practically throwing the clothes in her arms at her best friend. She saw Serena's eyes widen with fear. It was only then that Liz realized that her fingertips were crackling with green electricity again.
Damn. She was losing her mind. There was now no question.
Liz collapsed on the bed, closed her eyes. She took deep breaths, trying to bring her emotions back under control. "I'm sorry," she finally ground out. "I just need to be alone for a while 'Rena. Come back in half an hour and we'll leave for the airport."
"Fine," Serena snapped, straightening her spine and striding to the door, trying to mask how much Liz had frightened her. Before she stormed out though, she turned back and continued, "If you are so determined to be miserable, there's nothing I can do to stop you. You know what Liz? As much as I was prepared to hate this Max of yours, because I love [I]you[/I], I don't hate him. And I'll tell you why. He's willing to face anything to be with you. You're not being fair to him and I'm beginning to realize that you probably don't deserve him. Why you can't see that two people are stronger standing together than one, I don't know. But I'm tired of trying to understand. I have never seen anyone throw happiness away with such sheer stupidity."
Liz simply turned her head away, lifting her chin stubbornly. Shutting Serena out was easy. The fact that she had managed to do it to Max [I]again[/I], even after all he had said to her at the old sheriff's station, anything else seemed like a piece of cake. She heard Serena huff in irritation, pull open the door and then exclaim, "What the hell are [I]you[/I] doing here?"
Liz whipped around and blinked at the sight of Tess standing in the doorway. The small blonde was staring at Serena in surprise, then looked past her at Liz. "Am I interrupting something?"
"I was just leaving," Serena told her. "And you know what? I really don't care why you're here after all. It's probably to help her wallow in her own misery, so go to it. I won't stand in the way." With that she disappeared out the door, slamming it behind her.
Liz sighed, shaking her head. She was pretty sure that after she went back to New York, she and Serena would no longer be friends. She regretted it, but there wasn't much she could do about it now. She just couldn't think about anything but getting away from Roswell. If Serena didn't trust her enough to think she had a valid reason, then she didn't want to have to explain it to her. She was tired of having to justify herself. She was trying to save the stupid world for Pete's sake. And, yet, it had somehow all become about poor Max and how he was hurting.
Screw that.
It was also probably why Tess was here, to try and convince her to change her mind.
Double screw that.
Liz glared at the woman who had been responsible for all her problems, whether in this form or in some future version. She didn't hate her, but she certainly didn't think that they could be friends any longer. Not after that last scene in the sheriff's station with Max. It was all just too hard. It was easier to just shut them [I]all[/I] out. "What are you doing here Tess?" She demanded, refusing to beat around the bush any longer. "I'm getting ready to leave."
"I know," Tess replied, moving forward. "I'm sorry about it."
Liz narrowed her eyes. "You better not be here to try and convince me to give Max another chance."
"Do you want me to be?" Tess inquired gently, sitting down on the bed beside her.
"What do you think?" Liz shot back, although she could already tell that being a bitch was not going to drive Tess away.
"I haven't even talked to Max since the Crashdown," Tess told her firmly. "What he did to you there was rotten. Especially because he has a pretty good idea why you're doing all of this now."
"Right. So why don't you two just get busy and get it over with?" Liz snapped.
Tess just stared at her. "I'm with Kyle Liz."
"I know that Tess. But it seems to me that the end of the world might be a little more pressing than love. I've made some sacrifices. The least you and Max could do is fulfill that damn prophecy. It doesn't mean you have to be together forever."
"If that's the case," Tess retorted, "Then why can't you stay? Max and I will have the baby and then we can all raise it together!"
Liz just stared at her in horror. "You [I]must[/I] be joking!" She practically screeched.
Tess glared at her. "Well of course I am. You know you wouldn't be able to handle it! What makes you think that I would expect Kyle to? I would [I]never[/I] do that to him!"
"Typical," Liz muttered. "I'm the only one who has to make any sacrifices it seems. Why are you all so stubborn?"
There was a long silence until Tess finally said quietly, "Max and I don't love each other Liz. We just [I]don't[/I]. It's never going to happen."
"Then the world is going to end," Liz replied. "We both know it is. But I won't stay here and watch you all skip joyfully and knowingly in that direction. I won't Tess. This isn't going to make me go back to him. We both saw what happened when there was no baby of Max's blood. Complete and utter destruction."
"There might still be a way," Tess said carefully. "I've been doing some investigating."
Liz looked at her sharply. "What do you mean?" Her eyes widened in horror as something dawned on her. "Oh my God. Max doesn't [I]really[/I] like Pam Troy, does he?" The thought was enough to make her literally ill. If Max had to be with anyone other than Tess, she just did not want to know about it. The least they could all do was wait until she had left town again.
Tess grimaced. "Are you crazy? Of course he doesn't! I'm talking about for you and Max Liz. There might still be a way."
Liz felt her heart drop. "Tess, it's impossible. After she - you - came to see me, don't you think the first thing I did was go to a doctor and get myself checked out?" She heard her voice catch slightly, hoped Tess didn't recognize the lie. "I went to several in fact. I even went as far as Santa Fe and they all told me the same thing. My womb will not carry a baby to term. It's impossible. It just [I]won't[/I]."
She could barely see straight, her eyes blurry with tears. It wasn't true. None of it was true. It wasn't [I]she[/I] who had gone to all those doctors. It was another Liz, one Future Tess had told her all about, one who had suffered for years trying to conceive a child. She hadn't told Max any of this when she had informed him that she knew she couldn't bear his children. She had told him that it was because she somehow knew they were incompatible, but it had been a lie. She couldn't tell him the truth - the truth that Future Tess had made only too real. He wouldn't have believed her after all.
At least not then. Now he might believe Tess - any Tess. They were friends. At least her plan had succeeded that far.
But Liz [I]had[/I] to believe Future Tess. After all, she had seen it. She knew the arguments Max would have given her if she had told him: [I]Liz, Tess is a mindwarper. You can't believe anything she says.[/I]
She wouldn't have either. If it had just been about Tess. It hadn't been though. It had been about so much more.
"Liz, you have to listen to me," Tess was saying now, her words echoing that future version's eerily.
[I]You have to do this Liz. The fate of the world depends on you.[/I]
"I can't Tess! I just can't anymore. I need to leave," Liz told her firmly, standing up and moving away. "Please just go. Help Max. He's going to need you. But you also need to convince him, somehow. I don't care if it is Pam Troy. I'd prefer you, but if it can't be, find someone. Make him do it so that all of this pain won't be for no reason."
"Liz, [I]listen[/I] to me," Tess insisted, having stood up as well. Liz blinked when the blonde grabbed her by the arm and shook her. "Can you please stop being selfish for one minute and listen?"
Liz stared at her. "Did you just call me selfish?" She asked, not even angry, simply amazed. She just couldn't believe it. It was incomprehensible to her that Tess of all people would call [I]her[/I] selfish. Tess was the one who was encouraging Max in his rebellion against destiny after all. It was Tess's relationship with Kyle that was making this even harder.
"You [I]are[/I] being selfish," Tess told her. "You are so wrapped up in your own pain and your feeling of purity about giving everything up, you're not thinking straight anymore. I need you to listen to me."
Liz could not even frame a reply. She just continued to gape at Tess. The other woman seemed to take this as a sign that she was ready to listen, said in a rush. "Okay, you've got powers, right?"
"Huh?"
"Do you or do you not have powers?" Tess repeated, frustrated. "Kyle does. I'm assuming you do too. I'm also assuming that yours are the same, being as you were both healed by Max. He can get flashes from people sometimes when he touches them - like what's going to happen in the future. It's why he's such a good deputy." Liz could hear the pride in Tess's voice as she explained. "He really just knows what some people are going to do before they do it."
"I do," Liz admitted, shaking her head. "Wait a minute. If Kyle has powers, why was Maria surprised that I do too? Max seemed a little shocked too."
"Kyle has barely told anyone. It creeps him out a bit," Tess replied, sighing. "Max shouldn't have been surprised. All the aliens know. We had to try and figure out what it meant."
Liz frowned, reflected back on when Max had confronted her about her powers at the UFO Museum the night before. He hadn't seemed that surprised actually. "What does it mean?" Liz asked now.
"We don't think it means much. It's something that you both would have been born with in a few generations anyway." Tess shrugged. "We figure that connecting so intimately with one of us results in the activation of the genes all humans possess. Our gifts are part of our human make-up Liz. Nasedo told us that once. You and Kyle, because Max interfered in the natural order of your life.He changed you sooner then was evolutionally possible." She paused, narrowed her eyes. "And that's where my theory comes in."
"What theory?"
"I took Isabel and Michael to the pod chamber today," Tess replied. "I made them sit down and try and read the Destiny Book, to find anything I was missing."
Liz rolled her eyes. "You can't tell me anything about that book I don't know Tess," she snapped. "It's that book that ruined my life."
Liz realized that Tess's eyes had lit up at this comment. "So you [I]do[/I] have it!" She crowed. "I knew it!"
"Have what?" Liz asked carefully, although she knew exactly what Tess was getting at.
"Don't lie to me Parker. I know you have it. [I]She[/I] gave it to you, didn't she?"
"What?"
"LIZ! Do you or do you not have the missing page?"
"Fine," Liz finally muttered, realizing there was no point in hiding it any longer. "I have it. What does it matter though? The only reason she gave it to me was so that I would believe her, so that I wouldn't think she was mindwarping me with those flashes."
"She gave you flashes?" Tess asked, sounding pensive. "Of what was going to happen?"
"Not just her," Liz replied. "The book did too." She paused, then whispered. "And Max.I got them from Max too."
Tess seemed perplexed for a moment. "We have to be right," she murmured. "We just have to be. But if [I]Max[/I] gave you flashes."
"Tess? What the hell are you talking about?" Liz demanded, beginning to get impatient. She glanced at her watch. She really needed to get going if she was going to make the plane. She could not stay in Roswell a day longer. It was impossible.
"Liz, I need to see that page. Where is it?" Tess asked. "Is it in New York?"
Liz pressed her lips together. "Why? What can that page possibly tell you that I haven't already? I saw the future Tess. The page only confirms it. It's a full recounting of what will happen to this planet if Max's child isn't born."
Tess sighed. "Liz, can you [I]read[/I] the page?" She asked, sounding long- suffering and annoying Liz even more.
"Of course not," Liz retorted. "I'm not an alien."
"So it was only the flashes it gave you that made you think you knew what it said."
"Yes," Liz admitted reluctantly. "I still don't see that it matters though. We're all in agreement that Max needs to have a kid. You've read the rest of that book too Tess. And you [I]can[/I] understand it, can't you?"
"I can," Tess agreed. "But that missing page.Liz, I don't think it says what she told you it said. I need to see it. Where is it?"
Liz didn't reply for a long moment. She didn't know if she wanted Tess to see it. Because she realized that she was beginning to feel a small amount of hope and she could not afford that. Tess was only making this harder. She [I]knew[/I] what that page said. She [I]knew[/I]. She had seen it.
Tess seemed to understand Liz's turmoil. "Liz, how can you be so sure that what that future me showed you wasn't a mindwarp?" She asked gently. "I knew her too. She was a liar. The fact that I came back here and Max wanted nothing to do with me.She knew nothing. She was a bitter and twisted version of who I am. I'm ashamed to admit it, but if I'd never come back her, it's extremely likely she's exactly who I would have ended up. And I did in that lifetime. You cannot believe her. You just [I]can't[/I]."
"But Tess.the Destiny Book.it [I]says[/I] it," Liz argued weakly.
"You didn't answer my question," Tess reminded her. "How did you know it wasn't a mindwarp?"
"It was the first time I ever had flashes like that," Liz explained. "But I started getting them all the time after she left. And I know she was gone Tess. The instant I decided to leave Max, she faded away right in front of me."
Tess raised her eyebrows. "Mindwarp?"
"I really don't think so," Liz replied. "She was [I]gone[/I]. I know she was. Besides, she told both of us that she never went back to Roswell after she left. How could she have known that I was going to develop the power to get flashes of the future? How would she know to use it?"
"It doesn't matter how she knew," Tess said quietly. "She did. And I think she mindwarped you. I know she didn't mindwarp me. I think that some of what she told you did happen, but not how you saw it. I'm convinced."
"We'll never know that for sure Tess," Liz shot back, beginning to get angry again. She could not have these doubts again. She had spent a full year following her flight to New York trying to come up with excuses for why she should return to Max, for how and why Future Tess would and could have lied to her. "I know what I saw and I know that until then I'd never had them before and I've had them since."
"There's only one way to find out," Tess muttered, again to herself.
"Tess, what are you talking about?"
"Liz, I know for a fact that I've never mindwarped you," Tess said. "I have never done that to you, not even when I was trying to get Max way back at the beginning. I only used it on him."
Liz frowned. "I know that Tess."
"So then you really have no idea what it feels like," Tess elaborated. "And you can feel it Liz. Max certainly did way back then. That's why you believed him when he told you that he wasn't cheating on you on purpose. He wasn't. I was making him do it."
"Tess, I don't understand your point in dragging up all this old history," Liz sighed, feeling a stabbing pain at the memory of Max kissing Tess in the rain. It still made her physically ill just thinking about it. How she could have thought that she'd be able to handle the two of them having a baby together.or that Kyle would have been able to handle it. She was clearly insane.
"I'm trying to make a point Liz. You may just not recognize a mindwarp. I can understand why you got confused. Your powers chose a really bad time to start manifesting themselves. Maybe it's why Future Me came back to that point. Maybe she knew it was when you'd start to develop the flashes more concretely. Anyway, it's entirely possible that she came exactly when she did to make you think that the mindwarps were just early flashes of your abilities."
Liz felt her heart skip a beat. "But how can we know that for sure?"
Tess didn't reply, simply looked towards the door. Liz blinked when someone knocked. She looked back at Tess, who seemed just as surprised as she did. "Who the heck can that be?" Liz groaned. "I don't have time for this. I need to be on a plane in an hour."
"I don't know who it is," Tess told her.
Liz stomped to the door, pulled it open and stared at Max, who was standing there glaring in at her. "Good, you're still here."
He marched past her, didn't even seem to see Tess. "I'm not letting you run away from me again Liz. I refuse to allow it. I don't care what arguments you give me. I love you, I will always love you and I'll never be with anyone else."
"Max." Liz looked at Tess uncomfortably. The blonde was just staring at Max, no expression on her face.
Max held his hand up. "Don't even say it," he snapped. "It's not fair that you get to make all the decisions. It's just not."
Liz started when he advanced on her. "I'm going to prove to you once and for all that we belong together."
Liz's eyes widened. She felt a flash of desire run through her veins at the expression in his eyes. "Max, Tess is standing right here!" She exclaimed, trying to twist away from him. He grabbed her firmly by the wrist, tugging until she fell against him. She stopped struggling, her breath coming in short gasps.
Oh God. She was going to give in. She couldn't turn him away [I]again[/I]. She wasn't strong enough! Already she felt her traitourous body straining up so that her lips were mere inches away from his. "Max." She moaned, felt the exact instant when she knew she couldn't fight him anymore.
Her lashes fluttered against her cheeks and she felt the light brush of his mouth against hers. And, then, nothing.
Liz opened her eyes in astonishment. The entire world had shifted briefly on its axis, she shook her head quickly and blinked.
No Max.
The only other person in the room was Tess, who was eyeing her, a slightly smug expression on her face. "Familiar?"
"You bitch," Liz ground out. "How could you do that to me?"
"We have to know for sure," Tess replied, not sounding the least bit guilty. "Have you felt that before?"
"Have I felt [I]what[/I] before," Liz almost yelled. "Completely betrayed and violated?"
Tess shrugged. "Kind of. What I meant was, the little blip at the end, when I shut it off. I saw you shake your head. You felt it, didn't you? Everyone always does. They just have no idea what it is, so they don't really notice." She sighed, obviously seeing that it was taking all of Liz's self-control not to strangle her. "Oh Liz, untwist your panties. I picked the one thing guaranteed to shock you. I needed you totally unaware of what I was doing. I knew that Max was the only one who would distract you sufficiently."
Liz snorted, trying to hide the fact that she was slightly embarrassed that Tess was onto her. Because the truth of the matter was, she had been about to let Max make love to her, everything that had come before be damned, the fact that Tess was in the bloody room with them be damned. And Tess knew it. The bitch.
And it hadn't even really been him. She was a lost cause, obviously.
"I haven't felt it before," Liz finally snapped. "She didn't mindwarp me."
Liz was startled when Tess collapsed abruptly on the bed. "What's wrong?" She felt all her anger fade away at the sight of the tears on Tess's cheeks. "Tess, what is it?"
"She didn't lie," Tess said, sniffling. "She didn't completely lie."
"What?" Liz stared at her in amazement. "What are you talking about?"
"I didn't turn into a completely selfish, psycho bitch!" Tess wailed. "She wasn't just here to drive you away!"
Liz sat down next to her, put her arm around Tess's shoulders. For the first time she understood that a lot of this was just as hard on Tess as it was on Liz. "God. You must have felt terrible Tess." Liz shook her head. "I can't even imagine."
"I did," Tess admitted. "Why else do you think I've avoided dealing with this for so long? When I fell for Kyle and when Max became my friend, I couldn't understand how I had ended up that way.so twisted and bitter. I was still sort of glad she'd come back though - because I'd found my place, a place she'd never had. But when you came back here and I found out for sure that she'd also been to see you.I didn't want to believe it. Because that was [I]evil[/I]. Before she was just selfish, but to haul you into it - to destroy you."
"She wasn't lying," Liz said softly. "I always knew it Tess. I never hated you you know. Her or you. I knew she was telling the truth."
"You've always seen things so clearly Liz," Tess replied. "How could you even see that about [I]me[/I]?"
"I don't know," Liz shrugged. "I guess I just thought that anyone who had to be with Max.who was [I]made[/I] for him.couldn't be all bad, as much as I was jealous. Because he is so good Tess. And so are Michael and Isabel, even if they hate me now. I guess I knew, even if I never admitted it to myself, that you couldn't be all bad. I wouldn't have given Max up to someone I truly thought was evil."
Tess stared at her. "Have you ever even really thought about this before?"
Liz laughed slightly. "Actually, no. I don't understand why I'm suddenly seeing all of this with such clarity, but it doesn't make it any less true."
They sat in companionable silence for a while longer, until Liz finally said, "This doesn't change anything though Tess. It actually makes it worse you know. Because those flashes were real. The end of the world [I]did[/I] happen."
"I know," Tess said. "But I don't agree that it doesn't change things. I still need to see that page Liz."
"Why?"
"Because while I'm glad to hear I wasn't totally psycho, I do think Future Me lied a little bit about what it says."
"Tess, I got a flash from it."
"Liz, I know," the blonde said patiently. "I believe you. But I think the flash was trying to tell you something different then you think. I think that Future Me did want a crack at Max, if not enough to totally make up the end of the world. I think she was using the end of the world to her advantage."
"Um, what?"
"That version of me never had Kyle. She still wanted Max. She probably still [I]believed[/I] that she was the one made for him," Tess explained, as though it made perfect sense. Liz wondered if she was a big dolt because she had no clue what Tess was talking about. Of course Tess was talking about herself. No one would understand Future Tess better than Present Tess. Liz almost giggled at the sheer lunacy of [I]that[/I] thought.
"And you don't?"
"Nope," Tess grinned at her. "I think Max made [I]you[/I] exactly who he needed you to be. And I think that page says exactly that. That you [I]can[/I] have his baby. That, in fact, you're the only one who can."
Liz froze. "I don't understand," she whispered.
Tess grimaced. "Liz, you know what? While I think I'm right about this - both Michael and Isabel think I'm right too by the way."
Liz wrinkled her nose. The thought of Michael and Isabel was enough to send a shiver down her spine. "I'm sure."
"Liz, they do. Once I explained to them why you really left.They are totally grateful. They want you back with Max just as much as any of us now too."
Liz would believe [I]that[/I] when she saw it. But she didn't argue with Tess again. "Okay."
"Anyway," Tess continued. "I don't want to go into too much detail about what I think that page might say. I need to read it and know for sure first."
Liz frowned. "You don't want to get Max's hopes up?"
"Something like that," Tess replied. "Although he doesn't even know about this."
"Then what?" Liz asked, confused.
Tess reached out, took her hand and squeezed. "Liz, I know how hard all of this has been on you. Maybe I just don't want [I]you[/I] to get your hopes up too high until I know for sure."
"You care about that?" Liz demanded, shocked.
"Liz, of course I do. I'm not a monster you know." Tess sounded hurt.
Liz smiled at her - her first real smile in days. "I know you're not Tess." She was serious again though when she continued, "You know what? I don't think I even want to know what you think you know until you know it for sure anyway." She shook her head, sighing. "If that makes any sense."
"It does," Tess replied, smiling slightly. "So is the page in New York? Please tell me it's not in New York."
"It's not," Liz assured her. "But I won't tell you where it is until you make a deal with me. I trust you Tess. I trust that you'll help me with this."
Tess was now suspicious as she asked, "With what?"
"If that page doesn't say what you think it does." Liz trailed off, then went for broke. "If it doesn't, you need to promise me that you'll make Max embrace his destiny."
"What?" Tess whispered, shocked.
"You know what I'm getting at Tess," Liz said firmly. "You have to promise me. If it doesn't change anything, that page, then you need to promise me that you and Max will have a baby."
"Liz."
"Promise."
Liz could see the internal struggle Tess was undergoing, felt bad about it. She felt particularly bad about Kyle, but she knew that she had to do this. She could no longer fight this battle all by herself. Max needed to have a child. She hoped that Tess was right about whatever she thought was on that page, but if she wasn't, it was time for everyone to sacrifice something of themselves for the good of humankind.
She could no longer do it alone. And she did trust Tess.
Tess swallowed, took a deep breath then said, "I know I'm right about this Liz. And because I know, I'll promise."
Liz stared at her, then nodded. "Okay then. The page is hidden with my journal in the wall behind my old bed at my parent's house."
Their eyes met and held. Liz could see the fear that now existed in Tess's blue-eyed gaze. The blonde's stake in this had just risen to new heights. Her own happiness now depended on what that page said just as much as Liz's did. Liz saw Tess's spine straighten, her respect for the woman who had once been her greatest enemy rising another notch.
"What are we waiting for?" Tess finally asked, standing up. "Let's go face our destiny once and for all."
"Liz, this is a mistake."
Liz ignored Serena as she hurried around the motel room, throwing her various pieces of clothing scattered around onto the bed so at to make it easier to pack. She had no idea how she had managed to make such a mess in such a short amount of time. The disarray in the room more than matched her emotional turmoil though. Her entire life was presently a disaster. The messy motel room was just the physical embodiment of it.
"Staying here this long was the mistake Serena," Liz retorted. "I should have left town as soon as Max signed those papers. I've only hurt him more by trying to fix things between us. We [I]can't[/I] be friends. That's more than obvious now. Which also means that I can't be friends with anyone else in Roswell. The least I can do is leave him them."
Her heart ached at the thought of shutting Alex and Maria out of her life again, but she had no choice. Maintaining any sort of contact with Max - even the mostly antagonistic relationship they had developped over the past few days - was impossible. She was on the verge of completely giving in. She could not see him again. Her willpower would not stand having to walk out on him even once more. It was an impossibility.
"I just don't understand why you're being so stubborn about this," Serena complained. "Maria's told me all about you two and from what I've seen.Liz, you still love him, he obviously wants you. What is the problem here?"
"You wouldn't understand," Liz sighed. "It's too long a story. I can't get into it now." And she couldn't. She couldn't even think about it anymore. She just had to leave. Now. There was a plane departing the small Roswell airstrip for Albuquerque in two hours and she fully intended to be on it.
"I wouldn't understand?" Serena demanded. "Liz, I understood when you told me your ex-husband was an alien. What makes you think I wouldn't understand this time?"
"You just wouldn't. No one can really understand Serena. I'm the only one who [I]really[/I] gets it because I'm the only one who saw what's going to happen if Max and I stay together. And I won't be responsible for it! I won't allow how much I love him to destroy the world. I just [I]won't![/I]" Liz screamed this last bit, practically throwing the clothes in her arms at her best friend. She saw Serena's eyes widen with fear. It was only then that Liz realized that her fingertips were crackling with green electricity again.
Damn. She was losing her mind. There was now no question.
Liz collapsed on the bed, closed her eyes. She took deep breaths, trying to bring her emotions back under control. "I'm sorry," she finally ground out. "I just need to be alone for a while 'Rena. Come back in half an hour and we'll leave for the airport."
"Fine," Serena snapped, straightening her spine and striding to the door, trying to mask how much Liz had frightened her. Before she stormed out though, she turned back and continued, "If you are so determined to be miserable, there's nothing I can do to stop you. You know what Liz? As much as I was prepared to hate this Max of yours, because I love [I]you[/I], I don't hate him. And I'll tell you why. He's willing to face anything to be with you. You're not being fair to him and I'm beginning to realize that you probably don't deserve him. Why you can't see that two people are stronger standing together than one, I don't know. But I'm tired of trying to understand. I have never seen anyone throw happiness away with such sheer stupidity."
Liz simply turned her head away, lifting her chin stubbornly. Shutting Serena out was easy. The fact that she had managed to do it to Max [I]again[/I], even after all he had said to her at the old sheriff's station, anything else seemed like a piece of cake. She heard Serena huff in irritation, pull open the door and then exclaim, "What the hell are [I]you[/I] doing here?"
Liz whipped around and blinked at the sight of Tess standing in the doorway. The small blonde was staring at Serena in surprise, then looked past her at Liz. "Am I interrupting something?"
"I was just leaving," Serena told her. "And you know what? I really don't care why you're here after all. It's probably to help her wallow in her own misery, so go to it. I won't stand in the way." With that she disappeared out the door, slamming it behind her.
Liz sighed, shaking her head. She was pretty sure that after she went back to New York, she and Serena would no longer be friends. She regretted it, but there wasn't much she could do about it now. She just couldn't think about anything but getting away from Roswell. If Serena didn't trust her enough to think she had a valid reason, then she didn't want to have to explain it to her. She was tired of having to justify herself. She was trying to save the stupid world for Pete's sake. And, yet, it had somehow all become about poor Max and how he was hurting.
Screw that.
It was also probably why Tess was here, to try and convince her to change her mind.
Double screw that.
Liz glared at the woman who had been responsible for all her problems, whether in this form or in some future version. She didn't hate her, but she certainly didn't think that they could be friends any longer. Not after that last scene in the sheriff's station with Max. It was all just too hard. It was easier to just shut them [I]all[/I] out. "What are you doing here Tess?" She demanded, refusing to beat around the bush any longer. "I'm getting ready to leave."
"I know," Tess replied, moving forward. "I'm sorry about it."
Liz narrowed her eyes. "You better not be here to try and convince me to give Max another chance."
"Do you want me to be?" Tess inquired gently, sitting down on the bed beside her.
"What do you think?" Liz shot back, although she could already tell that being a bitch was not going to drive Tess away.
"I haven't even talked to Max since the Crashdown," Tess told her firmly. "What he did to you there was rotten. Especially because he has a pretty good idea why you're doing all of this now."
"Right. So why don't you two just get busy and get it over with?" Liz snapped.
Tess just stared at her. "I'm with Kyle Liz."
"I know that Tess. But it seems to me that the end of the world might be a little more pressing than love. I've made some sacrifices. The least you and Max could do is fulfill that damn prophecy. It doesn't mean you have to be together forever."
"If that's the case," Tess retorted, "Then why can't you stay? Max and I will have the baby and then we can all raise it together!"
Liz just stared at her in horror. "You [I]must[/I] be joking!" She practically screeched.
Tess glared at her. "Well of course I am. You know you wouldn't be able to handle it! What makes you think that I would expect Kyle to? I would [I]never[/I] do that to him!"
"Typical," Liz muttered. "I'm the only one who has to make any sacrifices it seems. Why are you all so stubborn?"
There was a long silence until Tess finally said quietly, "Max and I don't love each other Liz. We just [I]don't[/I]. It's never going to happen."
"Then the world is going to end," Liz replied. "We both know it is. But I won't stay here and watch you all skip joyfully and knowingly in that direction. I won't Tess. This isn't going to make me go back to him. We both saw what happened when there was no baby of Max's blood. Complete and utter destruction."
"There might still be a way," Tess said carefully. "I've been doing some investigating."
Liz looked at her sharply. "What do you mean?" Her eyes widened in horror as something dawned on her. "Oh my God. Max doesn't [I]really[/I] like Pam Troy, does he?" The thought was enough to make her literally ill. If Max had to be with anyone other than Tess, she just did not want to know about it. The least they could all do was wait until she had left town again.
Tess grimaced. "Are you crazy? Of course he doesn't! I'm talking about for you and Max Liz. There might still be a way."
Liz felt her heart drop. "Tess, it's impossible. After she - you - came to see me, don't you think the first thing I did was go to a doctor and get myself checked out?" She heard her voice catch slightly, hoped Tess didn't recognize the lie. "I went to several in fact. I even went as far as Santa Fe and they all told me the same thing. My womb will not carry a baby to term. It's impossible. It just [I]won't[/I]."
She could barely see straight, her eyes blurry with tears. It wasn't true. None of it was true. It wasn't [I]she[/I] who had gone to all those doctors. It was another Liz, one Future Tess had told her all about, one who had suffered for years trying to conceive a child. She hadn't told Max any of this when she had informed him that she knew she couldn't bear his children. She had told him that it was because she somehow knew they were incompatible, but it had been a lie. She couldn't tell him the truth - the truth that Future Tess had made only too real. He wouldn't have believed her after all.
At least not then. Now he might believe Tess - any Tess. They were friends. At least her plan had succeeded that far.
But Liz [I]had[/I] to believe Future Tess. After all, she had seen it. She knew the arguments Max would have given her if she had told him: [I]Liz, Tess is a mindwarper. You can't believe anything she says.[/I]
She wouldn't have either. If it had just been about Tess. It hadn't been though. It had been about so much more.
"Liz, you have to listen to me," Tess was saying now, her words echoing that future version's eerily.
[I]You have to do this Liz. The fate of the world depends on you.[/I]
"I can't Tess! I just can't anymore. I need to leave," Liz told her firmly, standing up and moving away. "Please just go. Help Max. He's going to need you. But you also need to convince him, somehow. I don't care if it is Pam Troy. I'd prefer you, but if it can't be, find someone. Make him do it so that all of this pain won't be for no reason."
"Liz, [I]listen[/I] to me," Tess insisted, having stood up as well. Liz blinked when the blonde grabbed her by the arm and shook her. "Can you please stop being selfish for one minute and listen?"
Liz stared at her. "Did you just call me selfish?" She asked, not even angry, simply amazed. She just couldn't believe it. It was incomprehensible to her that Tess of all people would call [I]her[/I] selfish. Tess was the one who was encouraging Max in his rebellion against destiny after all. It was Tess's relationship with Kyle that was making this even harder.
"You [I]are[/I] being selfish," Tess told her. "You are so wrapped up in your own pain and your feeling of purity about giving everything up, you're not thinking straight anymore. I need you to listen to me."
Liz could not even frame a reply. She just continued to gape at Tess. The other woman seemed to take this as a sign that she was ready to listen, said in a rush. "Okay, you've got powers, right?"
"Huh?"
"Do you or do you not have powers?" Tess repeated, frustrated. "Kyle does. I'm assuming you do too. I'm also assuming that yours are the same, being as you were both healed by Max. He can get flashes from people sometimes when he touches them - like what's going to happen in the future. It's why he's such a good deputy." Liz could hear the pride in Tess's voice as she explained. "He really just knows what some people are going to do before they do it."
"I do," Liz admitted, shaking her head. "Wait a minute. If Kyle has powers, why was Maria surprised that I do too? Max seemed a little shocked too."
"Kyle has barely told anyone. It creeps him out a bit," Tess replied, sighing. "Max shouldn't have been surprised. All the aliens know. We had to try and figure out what it meant."
Liz frowned, reflected back on when Max had confronted her about her powers at the UFO Museum the night before. He hadn't seemed that surprised actually. "What does it mean?" Liz asked now.
"We don't think it means much. It's something that you both would have been born with in a few generations anyway." Tess shrugged. "We figure that connecting so intimately with one of us results in the activation of the genes all humans possess. Our gifts are part of our human make-up Liz. Nasedo told us that once. You and Kyle, because Max interfered in the natural order of your life.He changed you sooner then was evolutionally possible." She paused, narrowed her eyes. "And that's where my theory comes in."
"What theory?"
"I took Isabel and Michael to the pod chamber today," Tess replied. "I made them sit down and try and read the Destiny Book, to find anything I was missing."
Liz rolled her eyes. "You can't tell me anything about that book I don't know Tess," she snapped. "It's that book that ruined my life."
Liz realized that Tess's eyes had lit up at this comment. "So you [I]do[/I] have it!" She crowed. "I knew it!"
"Have what?" Liz asked carefully, although she knew exactly what Tess was getting at.
"Don't lie to me Parker. I know you have it. [I]She[/I] gave it to you, didn't she?"
"What?"
"LIZ! Do you or do you not have the missing page?"
"Fine," Liz finally muttered, realizing there was no point in hiding it any longer. "I have it. What does it matter though? The only reason she gave it to me was so that I would believe her, so that I wouldn't think she was mindwarping me with those flashes."
"She gave you flashes?" Tess asked, sounding pensive. "Of what was going to happen?"
"Not just her," Liz replied. "The book did too." She paused, then whispered. "And Max.I got them from Max too."
Tess seemed perplexed for a moment. "We have to be right," she murmured. "We just have to be. But if [I]Max[/I] gave you flashes."
"Tess? What the hell are you talking about?" Liz demanded, beginning to get impatient. She glanced at her watch. She really needed to get going if she was going to make the plane. She could not stay in Roswell a day longer. It was impossible.
"Liz, I need to see that page. Where is it?" Tess asked. "Is it in New York?"
Liz pressed her lips together. "Why? What can that page possibly tell you that I haven't already? I saw the future Tess. The page only confirms it. It's a full recounting of what will happen to this planet if Max's child isn't born."
Tess sighed. "Liz, can you [I]read[/I] the page?" She asked, sounding long- suffering and annoying Liz even more.
"Of course not," Liz retorted. "I'm not an alien."
"So it was only the flashes it gave you that made you think you knew what it said."
"Yes," Liz admitted reluctantly. "I still don't see that it matters though. We're all in agreement that Max needs to have a kid. You've read the rest of that book too Tess. And you [I]can[/I] understand it, can't you?"
"I can," Tess agreed. "But that missing page.Liz, I don't think it says what she told you it said. I need to see it. Where is it?"
Liz didn't reply for a long moment. She didn't know if she wanted Tess to see it. Because she realized that she was beginning to feel a small amount of hope and she could not afford that. Tess was only making this harder. She [I]knew[/I] what that page said. She [I]knew[/I]. She had seen it.
Tess seemed to understand Liz's turmoil. "Liz, how can you be so sure that what that future me showed you wasn't a mindwarp?" She asked gently. "I knew her too. She was a liar. The fact that I came back here and Max wanted nothing to do with me.She knew nothing. She was a bitter and twisted version of who I am. I'm ashamed to admit it, but if I'd never come back her, it's extremely likely she's exactly who I would have ended up. And I did in that lifetime. You cannot believe her. You just [I]can't[/I]."
"But Tess.the Destiny Book.it [I]says[/I] it," Liz argued weakly.
"You didn't answer my question," Tess reminded her. "How did you know it wasn't a mindwarp?"
"It was the first time I ever had flashes like that," Liz explained. "But I started getting them all the time after she left. And I know she was gone Tess. The instant I decided to leave Max, she faded away right in front of me."
Tess raised her eyebrows. "Mindwarp?"
"I really don't think so," Liz replied. "She was [I]gone[/I]. I know she was. Besides, she told both of us that she never went back to Roswell after she left. How could she have known that I was going to develop the power to get flashes of the future? How would she know to use it?"
"It doesn't matter how she knew," Tess said quietly. "She did. And I think she mindwarped you. I know she didn't mindwarp me. I think that some of what she told you did happen, but not how you saw it. I'm convinced."
"We'll never know that for sure Tess," Liz shot back, beginning to get angry again. She could not have these doubts again. She had spent a full year following her flight to New York trying to come up with excuses for why she should return to Max, for how and why Future Tess would and could have lied to her. "I know what I saw and I know that until then I'd never had them before and I've had them since."
"There's only one way to find out," Tess muttered, again to herself.
"Tess, what are you talking about?"
"Liz, I know for a fact that I've never mindwarped you," Tess said. "I have never done that to you, not even when I was trying to get Max way back at the beginning. I only used it on him."
Liz frowned. "I know that Tess."
"So then you really have no idea what it feels like," Tess elaborated. "And you can feel it Liz. Max certainly did way back then. That's why you believed him when he told you that he wasn't cheating on you on purpose. He wasn't. I was making him do it."
"Tess, I don't understand your point in dragging up all this old history," Liz sighed, feeling a stabbing pain at the memory of Max kissing Tess in the rain. It still made her physically ill just thinking about it. How she could have thought that she'd be able to handle the two of them having a baby together.or that Kyle would have been able to handle it. She was clearly insane.
"I'm trying to make a point Liz. You may just not recognize a mindwarp. I can understand why you got confused. Your powers chose a really bad time to start manifesting themselves. Maybe it's why Future Me came back to that point. Maybe she knew it was when you'd start to develop the flashes more concretely. Anyway, it's entirely possible that she came exactly when she did to make you think that the mindwarps were just early flashes of your abilities."
Liz felt her heart skip a beat. "But how can we know that for sure?"
Tess didn't reply, simply looked towards the door. Liz blinked when someone knocked. She looked back at Tess, who seemed just as surprised as she did. "Who the heck can that be?" Liz groaned. "I don't have time for this. I need to be on a plane in an hour."
"I don't know who it is," Tess told her.
Liz stomped to the door, pulled it open and stared at Max, who was standing there glaring in at her. "Good, you're still here."
He marched past her, didn't even seem to see Tess. "I'm not letting you run away from me again Liz. I refuse to allow it. I don't care what arguments you give me. I love you, I will always love you and I'll never be with anyone else."
"Max." Liz looked at Tess uncomfortably. The blonde was just staring at Max, no expression on her face.
Max held his hand up. "Don't even say it," he snapped. "It's not fair that you get to make all the decisions. It's just not."
Liz started when he advanced on her. "I'm going to prove to you once and for all that we belong together."
Liz's eyes widened. She felt a flash of desire run through her veins at the expression in his eyes. "Max, Tess is standing right here!" She exclaimed, trying to twist away from him. He grabbed her firmly by the wrist, tugging until she fell against him. She stopped struggling, her breath coming in short gasps.
Oh God. She was going to give in. She couldn't turn him away [I]again[/I]. She wasn't strong enough! Already she felt her traitourous body straining up so that her lips were mere inches away from his. "Max." She moaned, felt the exact instant when she knew she couldn't fight him anymore.
Her lashes fluttered against her cheeks and she felt the light brush of his mouth against hers. And, then, nothing.
Liz opened her eyes in astonishment. The entire world had shifted briefly on its axis, she shook her head quickly and blinked.
No Max.
The only other person in the room was Tess, who was eyeing her, a slightly smug expression on her face. "Familiar?"
"You bitch," Liz ground out. "How could you do that to me?"
"We have to know for sure," Tess replied, not sounding the least bit guilty. "Have you felt that before?"
"Have I felt [I]what[/I] before," Liz almost yelled. "Completely betrayed and violated?"
Tess shrugged. "Kind of. What I meant was, the little blip at the end, when I shut it off. I saw you shake your head. You felt it, didn't you? Everyone always does. They just have no idea what it is, so they don't really notice." She sighed, obviously seeing that it was taking all of Liz's self-control not to strangle her. "Oh Liz, untwist your panties. I picked the one thing guaranteed to shock you. I needed you totally unaware of what I was doing. I knew that Max was the only one who would distract you sufficiently."
Liz snorted, trying to hide the fact that she was slightly embarrassed that Tess was onto her. Because the truth of the matter was, she had been about to let Max make love to her, everything that had come before be damned, the fact that Tess was in the bloody room with them be damned. And Tess knew it. The bitch.
And it hadn't even really been him. She was a lost cause, obviously.
"I haven't felt it before," Liz finally snapped. "She didn't mindwarp me."
Liz was startled when Tess collapsed abruptly on the bed. "What's wrong?" She felt all her anger fade away at the sight of the tears on Tess's cheeks. "Tess, what is it?"
"She didn't lie," Tess said, sniffling. "She didn't completely lie."
"What?" Liz stared at her in amazement. "What are you talking about?"
"I didn't turn into a completely selfish, psycho bitch!" Tess wailed. "She wasn't just here to drive you away!"
Liz sat down next to her, put her arm around Tess's shoulders. For the first time she understood that a lot of this was just as hard on Tess as it was on Liz. "God. You must have felt terrible Tess." Liz shook her head. "I can't even imagine."
"I did," Tess admitted. "Why else do you think I've avoided dealing with this for so long? When I fell for Kyle and when Max became my friend, I couldn't understand how I had ended up that way.so twisted and bitter. I was still sort of glad she'd come back though - because I'd found my place, a place she'd never had. But when you came back here and I found out for sure that she'd also been to see you.I didn't want to believe it. Because that was [I]evil[/I]. Before she was just selfish, but to haul you into it - to destroy you."
"She wasn't lying," Liz said softly. "I always knew it Tess. I never hated you you know. Her or you. I knew she was telling the truth."
"You've always seen things so clearly Liz," Tess replied. "How could you even see that about [I]me[/I]?"
"I don't know," Liz shrugged. "I guess I just thought that anyone who had to be with Max.who was [I]made[/I] for him.couldn't be all bad, as much as I was jealous. Because he is so good Tess. And so are Michael and Isabel, even if they hate me now. I guess I knew, even if I never admitted it to myself, that you couldn't be all bad. I wouldn't have given Max up to someone I truly thought was evil."
Tess stared at her. "Have you ever even really thought about this before?"
Liz laughed slightly. "Actually, no. I don't understand why I'm suddenly seeing all of this with such clarity, but it doesn't make it any less true."
They sat in companionable silence for a while longer, until Liz finally said, "This doesn't change anything though Tess. It actually makes it worse you know. Because those flashes were real. The end of the world [I]did[/I] happen."
"I know," Tess said. "But I don't agree that it doesn't change things. I still need to see that page Liz."
"Why?"
"Because while I'm glad to hear I wasn't totally psycho, I do think Future Me lied a little bit about what it says."
"Tess, I got a flash from it."
"Liz, I know," the blonde said patiently. "I believe you. But I think the flash was trying to tell you something different then you think. I think that Future Me did want a crack at Max, if not enough to totally make up the end of the world. I think she was using the end of the world to her advantage."
"Um, what?"
"That version of me never had Kyle. She still wanted Max. She probably still [I]believed[/I] that she was the one made for him," Tess explained, as though it made perfect sense. Liz wondered if she was a big dolt because she had no clue what Tess was talking about. Of course Tess was talking about herself. No one would understand Future Tess better than Present Tess. Liz almost giggled at the sheer lunacy of [I]that[/I] thought.
"And you don't?"
"Nope," Tess grinned at her. "I think Max made [I]you[/I] exactly who he needed you to be. And I think that page says exactly that. That you [I]can[/I] have his baby. That, in fact, you're the only one who can."
Liz froze. "I don't understand," she whispered.
Tess grimaced. "Liz, you know what? While I think I'm right about this - both Michael and Isabel think I'm right too by the way."
Liz wrinkled her nose. The thought of Michael and Isabel was enough to send a shiver down her spine. "I'm sure."
"Liz, they do. Once I explained to them why you really left.They are totally grateful. They want you back with Max just as much as any of us now too."
Liz would believe [I]that[/I] when she saw it. But she didn't argue with Tess again. "Okay."
"Anyway," Tess continued. "I don't want to go into too much detail about what I think that page might say. I need to read it and know for sure first."
Liz frowned. "You don't want to get Max's hopes up?"
"Something like that," Tess replied. "Although he doesn't even know about this."
"Then what?" Liz asked, confused.
Tess reached out, took her hand and squeezed. "Liz, I know how hard all of this has been on you. Maybe I just don't want [I]you[/I] to get your hopes up too high until I know for sure."
"You care about that?" Liz demanded, shocked.
"Liz, of course I do. I'm not a monster you know." Tess sounded hurt.
Liz smiled at her - her first real smile in days. "I know you're not Tess." She was serious again though when she continued, "You know what? I don't think I even want to know what you think you know until you know it for sure anyway." She shook her head, sighing. "If that makes any sense."
"It does," Tess replied, smiling slightly. "So is the page in New York? Please tell me it's not in New York."
"It's not," Liz assured her. "But I won't tell you where it is until you make a deal with me. I trust you Tess. I trust that you'll help me with this."
Tess was now suspicious as she asked, "With what?"
"If that page doesn't say what you think it does." Liz trailed off, then went for broke. "If it doesn't, you need to promise me that you'll make Max embrace his destiny."
"What?" Tess whispered, shocked.
"You know what I'm getting at Tess," Liz said firmly. "You have to promise me. If it doesn't change anything, that page, then you need to promise me that you and Max will have a baby."
"Liz."
"Promise."
Liz could see the internal struggle Tess was undergoing, felt bad about it. She felt particularly bad about Kyle, but she knew that she had to do this. She could no longer fight this battle all by herself. Max needed to have a child. She hoped that Tess was right about whatever she thought was on that page, but if she wasn't, it was time for everyone to sacrifice something of themselves for the good of humankind.
She could no longer do it alone. And she did trust Tess.
Tess swallowed, took a deep breath then said, "I know I'm right about this Liz. And because I know, I'll promise."
Liz stared at her, then nodded. "Okay then. The page is hidden with my journal in the wall behind my old bed at my parent's house."
Their eyes met and held. Liz could see the fear that now existed in Tess's blue-eyed gaze. The blonde's stake in this had just risen to new heights. Her own happiness now depended on what that page said just as much as Liz's did. Liz saw Tess's spine straighten, her respect for the woman who had once been her greatest enemy rising another notch.
"What are we waiting for?" Tess finally asked, standing up. "Let's go face our destiny once and for all."
