[u]Part 22[/u]

The kitchen was so quiet, Liz could hear Lou's toenails clicking against the linoleum as he came towards her and laid his head in her lap. The dog had been lying in his basket in the corner of the room when Liz had come in to use the phone. Since Max had collapsed into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, the dog had been on his feet, staring from his master to Liz, obviously trying to decide which of them was more upset, so that he, in typical dog fashion, could comfort them.

The fact that the animal had chosen her made tears well in her eyes again. She had been sitting stonily, refusing to look at Max, who had not said a word since she had told him that she was selling her company. She had not missed the absolutely shocked expression on his face though. And, yet, he had not spoken. He was just sitting there, staring at the wall.

Liz placed her hand gently on Lou's head, scratched him behind the ears. What if it didn't work? What if she gave up the only other thing in her life that really meant anything and Max still told her to get lost? What on Earth would she do?

She knew she was making the right choice though. He needed to know how important he was to her and this was the only way of really proving it. If he didn't cave.Well, she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.

Sneaking a peek at him out of the corner of her eye, she could tell that she had gotten to him. There was no question. Now the only problem was what it meant. Was it a good sign or a bad one?

Liz nearly jumped out of her skin when the phone rang behind her. Her head jerked to the right and her eyes met Max's. He was apparently back from whatever planet he had been visiting, because he reached past her and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?.Oh hey Pam. Is something wrong?" His voice sounded tight to Liz's ears, like he wasn't really paying attention to the woman on the other end of the line. She watched him straighten abruptly as he listened to whatever his employee was saying. "Okay, thanks."

Max hung up and then looked at Liz. "There's a fax for you at the Museum. There's been an offer for your business." He sounded tentative, unsure.

Liz felt her stomach clench. Already? But she shouldn't be surprised. There had been several chains aching to get their hands on her patented designs. "Great," she chirped, trying to sound happy about it.

"Liz."

She got to her feet, moved to the phone again. "I'll just call my lawyer back and tell him to accept it. I don't care who it is. I just want it over with."

Max grabbed her as she moved past him. "Liz, you can't do this."

"Of course I can Max," Liz replied. "I'm not leaving here. There's no point in holding onto EE Designs. It'll just fall apart without someone to run it. It's best to do it quick."

"Liz, that's not what I meant," Max told her. He pulled on her arm, gently forcing her to sit down again. "You can't sell your business. This is craziness."

"It doesn't mean anything Max. I want to stay here." She met his eyes squarely. "I want to stay with you."

Max was shaking his head. "Liz, I know how much it means to you. You [I]can't[/I] do this."

Liz smiled. "I know you know Max. Just like I know how much you're suffering right now. We'll always know." She touched his face. He frowned slightly, but didn't move away from her as she half-expected him to do. "I know [I]you[/I] Max. I [I]feel[/I] you. I feel you all the time again since I let myself recognize that I can't run away anymore. I need to do this. For us. I have to stay here so that you'll trust me again."

"Liz, you don't need to give up your entire career," Max insisted firmly. "I refuse to allow it."

"It's my choice to make Max."

He grimaced, raked his hands through his hair in frustration. She could feel his confusion, his absolute disbelief that she was really ready to give up everything she had worked for over the past four years for him. It only reinforced to her how little he truly felt like he deserved it - deserved her.

The sheer irony of it was enough to make her want to laugh hysterically. It wasn't Max who should be doubting his worth after all. It was she who had doubted the importance and rightness of what they had meant to each other. He was right not to trust her. Because she had proven by her disappearance that she didn't trust him - that she hadn't trusted him to do the right thing. When she thought of all the time they had wasted, of all the time they might have spent trying to solve the problem of her inability to conceive together.it brought tears to her eyes.

And, now, again, they were separated, moving apart when they should have been moving forward together, trying to regain what they had lost.

Now all she could do was place all her faith - all her trust - in the fact that she truly didn't believe he was capable of throwing away all that they could be together out of bitterness and fear.

"I didn't even know you were interested in fashion," Max said into the silence that had sprung up again. He sounded a little sad, like maybe he was wondering if he'd ever known her at all.

"I didn't know I was either," Liz replied, tentatively sitting back down. He abruptly seemed disposed to having a civil conversation. She wasn't going to pass up the opportunity. "I sort of fell into it," she continued. "Serena worked for a designer when I met her. I got a job helping out at the studio and just started doing some drawings in my spare time. Larry - he was the designer - really liked what I was doing and he used a couple of my sketches in one of his collections. After that, he helped me go out on my own." She smiled, a little bitterly. "It was the first time since Future Tess came to visit me that I actually felt like maybe I had a future on my own." She paused, then admitted quietly, "From the moment you healed me that day.I just never really imagined a life without you. And, then, suddenly it [I]was[/I] possible."

He frowned slightly, but didn't seem upset by what she had said. She knew that she couldn't lie to him about this, couldn't make him believe that all of the last four years had been bad. Because they hadn't. She had met Serena, she had met Sean and she had created a life for herself. Maybe not the life she [I]really[/I] wanted, but enough of one that she had been somewhat happy.

Of course, that had been because she had refused to allow herself to think at all about what life might have been like had she stayed with Max.

"I always imagined you at Harvard," Max commented. "That was always your dream."

"I was really young. Kids have lots of dreams. People change with new experiences," Liz shrugged carelessly, then could have kicked herself. He had raised his eyes, was staring at her, his expression unreadable.

She could almost see the wheels turning in his head as Max formed a response. Now was when he was going to say that she was right, that they had both changed too much to go back. She had just completely sabotaged herself.

"They do," Max allowed. He leaned back. "What." He paused, then sighed. "Liz, I've changed too you know. How can you be sure that you'd even be interested in me now?" He motioned towards her. "I mean, look at you. You're not a small town girl anymore. Maybe we just don't fit any longer."

Liz could feel her heart in her throat. She knew that how she responded now might make or break their relationship. "I know you've changed Max. But, at heart, you're still the same person." She leaned forward slightly, touched his hand where it lay on the table. "The connection we share.It goes beyond growing up or career changes or even the possible end of the world." She moved closer, could feel her breath hitching at the proximity to him. He was so warm, so exactly how she remembered, even when he was trying to be cold. Liz met his eyes. "We haven't changed that much Max," she whispered. "I'm still Liz. I'm still the same in every way that matters. I still know that you are the only person I'm meant to be with. I knew it all along, even when I thought that [I]you[/I] weren't meant to be with me. I always knew that there was no one else."

Max's eyes narrowed. "What about your fiancé Liz? You came back here to divorce me. Do you really expect me to believe that you were thinking about me the whole time?"

Liz sat back. She decided she had to continue to be completely honest. "Max, I was ready to marry Sean. I admit it. I wasn't thinking about you at all then. I couldn't. I had to stop. Because if I didn't, I just wouldn't have survived it." She lowered her eyes. "I feel.I feel like I betrayed what we meant to each other by getting engaged to him, but I knew deep inside that he couldn't ever touch my memory of you, of what it felt like to be your wife." She shook her head. "We were using each other, Sean and I. Me to try and stop hurting so much, him to hide from who he really was." Liz looked up again. "I'm not sure why I thought it was a good idea. Maybe it was just an excuse to have to come back here again. I don't know. I can't explain it. All I know is that it did bring me back and it made me face the fact that there just really won't ever be anyone for me but you."

She felt her heart give a little thud when he actually smiled slightly at that, even if it was a little bitterly. "I don't know Liz. I'm not nearly as amenable as I used to be. And you haven't exactly [I]liked[/I] me since you've been back."

"I've noticed the changes," she replied wryly. "And I may not have liked you, but I've always [I]loved[/I] you. I'm pretty sure you haven't liked me much either, but because I know you haven't really changed - not in the way that really counts - I know that you love me too. Why else would you have known exactly how to drive me insane?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Maybe that's just who I am now," he suggested. "I drive Tess insane on a regular basis."

Liz smiled slightly. "Well, if that's true, I want to know [I]why[/I]. I want to know who you are now. This world is different than the one that other Tess showed me. Knowing your Tess, keeping her around - letting her into your heart.It's changed you - for the better. We were both a little too focused on each other before I think."

Max seemed sad when he answered, "I always thought you gave up too much to be with me - all those dreams you had. You said before that you were the selfish one. That wasn't true. I was Liz. I never should have asked you to marry me so soon."

Liz laughed a little. "That's like saying I was wrong to say yes. We [I]both[/I] did it. Max, it's neither of our fault that we found each other at sixteen. I think the big mistake was that we didn't try to grow together. There was no reason that we had to just [I]stop[/I] everything because we were married."

"Which is why you can't sell your business," Max said firmly. "Liz, it's part of who you are now. I won't let you give up one of the good things that has come out of this whole mess." He grimaced. "This is going to sound like a really weird comparison, but it would be like you asking me to give up Tess."

"I would never do that Max." She shook her head. "I can't believe how much she's changed from that horrible girl who first came to Roswell."

"So then you understand how you can't give up your company either. If we are going to try this again." Liz felt her heart start to pound more quickly. Was he really saying it? Was he really going to give her a second chance? "We can't change who we've become. And I don't think I really want to."

"Are you saying." She trailed off, barely daring to breathe. "Can we? I mean, can we try and fix this?"

"We can try to get to know each other again," Max allowed carefully. "I think I owe you that much at least."

Her spirits deflated a bit. "Oh." He sure sounded thrilled.

He flinched at what he must have perceived as her disappointment. "That didn't come out the way I meant it to," he sighed, shaking his head. "Why does this have to be so hard?"

"It doesn't Max," Liz insisted. "If we love each other enough, it doesn't have to be hard." It was then that she realized that he hadn't said it. He had not admitted that he still loved her once during this conversation.

But he had said it in that jail cell a few nights ago, when she had finally crumbled and had cried in his arms, when they had shared her grief for the innocent children they had been, for all they had lost. He has said very plainly that he would always love her. It had to be enough for now, had to keep her strong.

Max sounded perplexed when he said, "I guess the real problem now is, I just don't know where we start."

"By getting to know each other again," Liz suggested. "I mean, it's not that hard Max. We can just be like any other couple starting out."

"What do you mean?" Max asked, a bit suspicious.

Liz swallowed. This wasn't [I]exactly[/I] how she had hoped things would turn out. Taking things slow.She could understand Max's need to do so and, yet, it was frustrating too. Particularly as, since the connection had reopened between them, a certain part of her just really wanted to jump his bones.

It didn't help that she knew that she could do it too. She knew that if she kissed him, he wouldn't resist. He was just as attracted to her as she was to him, was just as aware of her. But she wanted him emotionally with her when it happened, didn't want them to simply give into lust and then regret it later.

The ties that bound them were fragile, just barely reforming. They needed to start at the beginning.

And, so, she forced herself to sound cheerful when she said, "Max Evans, would you like to go out on a date with me?"

He didn't reply for so long, she wondered if he was actually going to turn her down. Was even something as simple as a date going too fast? When he finally replied, his voice didn't betray what he was thinking. "On two conditions."

Liz stared at him. Conditions? What could he possibly want? "Okay," she said, a bit unsure. "One?"

"That we go slow," Max reminded her firmly.

She hesitated for only a minute. She could do that - she thought. "Okay. And two?"

Max reached past her, making her skin tingle. For one brief moment, she thought he was going to touch her. Maybe he had changed his mind! Maybe he [I]didn't[/I] want to take things slowly! She barely resisted throwing her arms around him, was glad that she did though, because she was a little embarrassed when he picked up the phone receiver and handed it to her. "Call your lawyer and tell him that you're not selling."

Liz knew that the smile that broke across her face must have been blinding, but Max seemed unfazed. How he managed to maintain his self-control.It was one of the changes in him that she was going to have to work on. Not that he hadn't been controlled before, but certainly not around her. Never around her.

And, yet, she refused to allow her spirits to drop. Not when she was so close. "You've got yourself a deal."

***

Tess flopped back on the couch in the apartment she shared with Kyle, eyed the phone. Kyle was working the night shift, so she was alone.

In the past, it was right around this time of night that she'd dial Max up and invite him over for a movie or even just a blabathon. No one listened quite like Max and when he was around, she never felt lonely or bored.

Not to mention, her curiosity was about killing her. She knew Liz was winning the battle of wills over there, but she was interested to know how quickly. From the evidence, it seemed that it was more rapidly than even Tess had anticipated. Serena had gotten that phone call from lawyer Casey before Tess had left the Crashdown after all.

Liz had changed her mind about selling. No surprise there. Like Max ever would have allowed that. He wasn't that big an ass.

Of course, Tess was interested in finding out just how long Max and Liz had argued before she'd called off the sale.

She tapped her fingers against the arm of the couch. Damn her concern! Why did she have to care so much that this worked out?

The question was merely rhetorical of course. She knew [I]exactly[/I] why she cared. In spite of the fact that she was aware that neither Max, nor Liz blamed her for their break up, she still blamed herself. It had been the responsibility of that horrible Future Tess after all. It [I]was[/I] her fault. And until Max and Liz were well on the road to reconciliation, she couldn't even try to forget it.

Which was why she wanted to call.

She had given Maria so much grief about wanting her to call Max before that she almost felt guilty that she was considering doing so right now. But not guilty enough to refrain.

Tess picked up the portable receiver, dialed Max's number quickly, her fingers flying automatically over the familiar keys.

Liz answered on the third ring. "Hello?"

Tess blinked. She hadn't expected Liz to answer. What had she been thinking? Of course Liz might answer. She was [I]there[/I]. "Oh. Hi."

"Tess, is that you?" Liz asked.

"Yes."

Liz sounded amused when she said, "I'm assuming you want to talk to Max."

"Um."

"Are you checking up on us?"

"No," Tess exclaimed. "Of course not!" She paused, then decided to just admit it. "Fine, I am." She grimaced. "So, how's it going?"

"Very well I think," Liz replied. "We're going on a date."

"You [I]are[/I]" Tess replied. "Yaay! That's great! When?"

"Right now."

Tess glanced at the clock. "Liz, it's ten o'clock at night."

"And?" Liz inquired. "Who cares? I've gotten him this far. Like I'm waiting."

"Good point," Tess allowed. "So what are you doing? Are you going to visit all your old haunts?"

"I don't think so," Liz said. "We're going with the 'new beginnings' theme. I think we're going to try and do something we've never done before."

"What on Earth could you possibly do in this one horse town that you've never done before?" Tess inquired, already frantically searching her mind for a suggestion. Anything to push them forward.

"Well, it's a little embarrassing," Liz said.

"What is it?" Tess demanded, unable to contain her excitement any longer.

"We're going bowling."

Tess started. "Liz, the bowling alley is closed. And why on Earth would you want to go bowling?"

"For fun Tess. I know it's a new concept for Max and I, but we're going to try it," Liz replied. "Plus, Max knows Galaxy Lanes' owner from the Roswell Chamber of Commerce. He's called in a favor."

"Max called in a favor to bowl," Tess stated, knowing she sounded disbelieving. She grinned. "Liz, maybe you better take him back to New York. You two clearly need a bigger pool of options."

"I think I like Roswell's options just fine," Liz said. Tess could hear the smile in her voice.

"Well, have fun," Tess said. She paused, then went for broke. "Um, you could call me when you get back. Tell me how it went."

There was a long silence and then Liz replied, "I'd like that Tess. Thanks."

"Well, whatever," Tess said in a rush, embarrassed. "I mean, I know you have other people to call. But you can call me too. If you want to, I mean."

"I do. Thanks. Do you still want to talk to Max? He's in the shower. I can get him to call you back."

"No, it's okay," Tess said, feeling a little pang. As much as she wanted Max and Liz back together, the intimacy of Liz's comment reminded her that soon she wasn't going to be the number one woman in Max's life anymore. It was going to take some adjustment.

"Okay. Bye Tess."

"See ya Liz. Have fun."

Tess rang off and then stared at the phone for a long moment. She was pleased that things were going so well and, yet, mildly unsettled. It was the first time that she had truly realized that her relationship with Max was going to change forever.

It wasn't that she wasn't happy for him. She was. Of course she was. She was just kind of sad for herself. It was going to be hard to let go. She knew she wasn't losing him, but it still kind of felt that way. Like how she had hesitated about calling him earlier. Three days ago, she would have picked up the phone without a second thought.

Tess shook her head firmly. What was wrong with her? She had no right to feel this way. He was still going to be her friend. Things might change, but she would never lose him. In fact, she was going to have a [I]new[/I] friend in Liz.

And, yet, she allowed herself to still be a bit upset when she went to bed a few minutes later. She knew it would pass, but change was always hard, even when it was for the best.

Tomorrow she would go right back to being ecstatic that her best friend was going to get his heart's desire. That he was about ready to stop being a stubborn mule and take what he deserved.

But, for now, she was going to allow herself to miss him. Just a little bit.

***

"I think there's a reason we've never bowled before Liz," Max said as he backed away from the alley and stared at the pins, his chagrin obvious. They were all still standing firmly in the distance. "I suck."

Liz giggled as she marked a big fat zero in the little box beside his name. "Oh who cares? It's fun to throw really heavy balls as hard as you can. Plus, you suck at pool too and that never stopped us."

When she looked up, Max was glaring at her, although his eyes were twinkling. "You are taking far too much pleasure in rubbing my nose in this," he complained as he sat down beside her. He reached out to take the pencil from her hand. She felt a tingle run up her arm as their fingers brushed against each other. The contact ended far too soon though.

She sighed as she got to her feet to take her turn. She could feel his eyes following her, making her heart thump more quickly in her chest. She sighed again as she watched her ball roll down the alley and take down a few pins. She wished she could do what she really wanted to do. She wished she could just turn around right now and throw herself into his arms.

It was going well. Almost [I]too[/I] well. They had been laughing, having fun. And, yet, Liz couldn't help but wonder if perhaps they were both trying a little too hard. They were trying to pretend that there wasn't a mountain of history between them, that they didn't have anything serious to talk about, but there was and they [I]did[/I] and all she really wanted to do was talk about it.

As the night progressed, she simply became more antsy, rather than less. And Max, while obviously enjoying himself, was refusing to talk about anything more serious than his pathetic bowling technique.

She had a feeling that it was why he had suggested the activity in the first place. Earlier she had been just as agape as Tess had sounded on the phone, but she had agreed, thrilled that he wanted to spend any time with her at all. And they would be alone after all. The alley was closed and the owner had agreed to lend Max his keys after her husband had offered to allow the owner's daughter to have her birthday party at the UFO Center for free.

It hadn't dawned on her when she'd accepted that bowling meant they were going to spend most of their time ten feet away from each other, not being able to talk except by yelling because of the smashing pins and the racket the balls made.

Not that Max was smashing many pins, but he sure was making a lot of noise. Just none of it was directed at her in the form of conversation.

How were they supposed to get to know each other again if they didn't speak?

"Good one," Max told her as she came back to join him. He sounded suspicious. "Are you sure you're not using your powers? I mean, really. Where did you learn to bowl like this? Certainly not in the world of high fashion in New York."

"Just talented I guess," Liz joked, trying to keep her tone light, although it was becoming more of a struggle as the evening wore on. She glanced behind her meaningfully. "I mean, I've always kicked your ass Evans. It's not like it's anything new."

Max followed her gaze, took in the pool table she was indicating. His expression darkened slightly. "I beat you the other night," he reminded her quietly.

Liz frowned. "You did," she admitted. She looked down. "I sort of didn't live up to my end of the bargain, did I? I was supposed to tell you the truth about why I left."

Max didn't answer. He just moved behind the bench gracing the alley and towards the pool table. She followed him, wondering what he was doing. He lined up the balls sitting on the table, picked up a pool cue and started idly shooting. "I guess you didn't," he finally said. "But that's okay. I understand why now."

"Yeah," Liz replied uncertainly. He seemed more amenable to actually having a serious conversation, so she asked quickly, "Are you scared?"

Max looked up, quirked an eyebrow at her. "Of what?"

"Of the end of the world," she elaborated.

He straightened, placing the cue on the floor in front of him and leaning on it slightly. "Are you?"

"Yes," Liz admitted. "Max, I saw it." She rushed on. "You said a couple of days ago that you couldn't ever be sure that I wanted to get back together for [I]us[/I] or just so I'd have the kid that could stop it."

Max was quiet for a moment, eyeing her, his expression unreadable. "I did say that," he finally agreed. "But I'm not really convinced about it anyway."

"You're not?" Liz asked, surprised. "Max, I [I]saw[/I] it. It's going to happen. We're going to be stronger because your four square is all together, but the prophecy says that we need our child."

Max scratched his neck, shrugged. "I don't believe in destiny Liz. You know that. I can't believe in that book and what it says is going to happen because any little difference in any event could change that future. We've probably already changed it. Destiny can't be written down anywhere. You have to make your own." He met her eyes squarely. "If I ever choose to have a child with you, it's not going to be about saving the planet. It's going to be about the fact that I love you and that I want to share the joy of bringing a new life into this world with you."

Liz felt a lump rise in her throat. "You just said you love me," she whispered.

"Of course I love you Liz," Max replied, sounding surprised. "That was never in question. I've loved you since the minute I set eyes on you when I was a kid. What is in question is whether I can ever convince you that we have to [I]choose[/I] to be together. I can't get back together with you just because of something that [I]might[/I] happen and I won't bring a child into this world with all those expectations on his or her head. I know what it feels like to have a destiny thrust upon you that you don't want. I just [I]won't[/I] do that."

"But Max, I [I]do[/I] choose you," Liz told him. "I want you so much. Even if we [I]never[/I] have a child, I still want to be with you."

He sighed, looked away. She could see that he was still unconvinced. How could she make him see that he was not a means to an end for her - that he [I]was[/I] the end. And the beginning. He was [I]everything[/I].

Liz pressed her lips together. There was only one way. Now that the connection was open between them again, now that she wasn't suppressing it, she had to make him see her. He had to really [I]see[/I] into her soul, not just listen to her words.

But if she did what she knew she had to do, she was going against his wish to go slow. It had only been a few hours after all. Couldn't she wait a while longer, let him work through his demons?

As she stared at him though, she knew that she couldn't. They just could not go slowly. If she didn't show him exactly what he meant to her, how he [I]was[/I] her very soul, he wouldn't be able to ever let those very same demons go. Because his demons were his inability to trust that she wouldn't leave him again and that he had always wondered if he was worthy of her.

It had been so long. He had forgotten what it was like, had forgotten what they were together when they opened up completely.

Max was watching her, a slightly suspicious expression on his face. "What are you thinking?" He asked.

"I'm thinking that you're going to be really mad at me in a minute," Liz replied, moving towards him with more assurance than she felt. He blinked, backed away, but didn't have far to go because the pool table was right behind him.

"Liz, what are you doing?" Max asked, his panic evident.

"The only thing I can think of to get us past this wall," Liz replied firmly. She was standing only inches from him now. For a brief moment she wondered if he might actually jump up on the table and scamper away from her, but he narrowed his eyes instead.

"I thought we were going to take this slow," he complained weakly. She saw him swallow convulsively, could feel his heart racing as she placed one hand firmly on his toned chest.

"Max, is that [I]really[/I] what you want?" Liz breathed. She snaked her other arm up and around his neck, so he was forced to lower his head.

"I don't know," he admitted, his voice husky. "I'm not really thinking very clearly at the moment."

"And why is that?" Liz murmured, her lips barely a breath away from his.

He didn't answer. She decided to take advantage of his silence. Raising herself on her tip-toes, she firmly pressed her mouth to his.

The instant they connected physically, she felt desire shoot through her veins. Her entire body was on fire. It wasn't the first time he had kissed her since she'd been back, but it [I]was[/I] the first time she had allowed herself to enjoy it.

Not that he was entirely participating at the moment. But she could feel him weakening. She was completely open to him, allowing their otherworldly bond to tease him, just as it had tortured her since the day he had healed her.

[I]Bend Max. Give in! You want this as much as I do.[/I] She pleaded with him in her mind, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

And, almost as if he actually heard her, he did. She felt her heart quite simply melt when his lips softened and he actually started to participate in the kiss.

[I]See me Max. Know how much I love you. Please![/I]

It was then, and only then, that she opened herself to him completely, knowing that this might very well be her last chance.

To be continued.