Dear Everyone,

I, Voldemort, am very sorry for all the trouble I have caused over the past years. I know I have caused much pain and suffering but I'm sorry and I never meant to do any of that. My real passions lay in Broadway musicals and picking flowers, not destroying things and being evil. Evil, I have realized, is too much hard work. You have to think all the time and do things which take a lot of time and energy -- like killing someone. Do you know how hard it is to get blood stains out of a white carpet? It's horrid.

I have written this letter to tell of my resignation of being an Evil Dark Lord. The hours are too long and you don't get enough vacation time either. I would rather spend my time frolicking in the grass and picking flowers while singing a song happily.

All my minions -- or followers, whatever -- are now out of work! Luckily for them, I have told others of their work of evil and they may soon be in work once again soon. I'm sorry that the pay was low but I was on a tight budget and you don't get a good enough pay anymore being an Evil Dark Lord.

Fear me no more!

I have also changed my name to 'Legolas (oh, don't you just LOVE him?) Flowersong' so you must never say 'Voldemort' (like you really did) or 'He Who Must Not Be Named' ever again.

Farewell!

Signed,
Legolas Flowersong



Harry stared at the letter. "Legolas Flowersong? Isn't Legolas copyright or something?" he asked, scratching his head.

"Who cares?" Ron huffed. "Volde--Legolas Flowersong is now happily running through the grass of some field far, far away from us."

Snape took the letter and cursed on it. "Dammit! I'm out of a summer job now! Damn him! Damn flowers! DAMN BROADWAY MUSICALS!"

They all stared.

Snape glared at them and turned on his heel. "Now where am I supposed to do over the summer? Stay here and do magic? It's BORING. I like doing evil stuff!" He paused and gasped, his eyes twinkling. "Maybe I'll become the new Evil Dark Lord! Yes! That's it! How does Snape, Evil Dark Lord sound?"

They all kept staring.

"Perfect." Snape clapped his hands and walked out of the room. "Snape, Evil Dark Lord of DOOM and Anti-Broadways!!"

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First HP fic ever. Don't think it turned out great but, eh, whatever. ^_^ Maybe I'll do better later. Thanks for reading!