A/n: Warnings: *Mild* Sanzo torture. Okay, okay, not that mild… Shounen-ai, violence, blood…you have been warned.
Sorry for Sanzo's sudden submissive self. He had to change after reincarnation, right? And the next update will be ever so late. Gomen!
Again, sorry for the amount of Sanzo-torture in this chapter. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Sanzo fan—I love the guy! I hate doing this to him… but it would be so dry if there wasn't just a *little* ruthlessness on Homura's part…
Once Forgotten by real-circus
Chapter 3: Betrayal
"Gojyo! Oh gods…" Hakkai flinched at the amount of blood. Do not puke… do NOT puke… not now. He hated blood for some reason; must have been a family inheritance. He shuddered as the warm liquid touched his hands. His vision went blurry all of a sudden and he felt faint.
Groping about for the new medicine he conjured up the day before, he almost slipped on the puddle of red now staining the smooth floor. Assuring his friend of lesser pain, Hakkai rubbed some of the chemical on the bloody wound, shutting his eyes firmly as another sprout of blood escaped. Gojyo screamed and withered in inexpressible pain but did nothing to stop the professor.
"You'll be alright, I promise… I love you… don't go and leave me here all alone…"
A shaky but firm hand reached out to grab his arm. "I won't."
~*~
"Let go of me. I can run myself," Sanzo said, as his legs kicked at Homura's shins. The man refused to release him, even when they reached the ground floor. "Let GO, I say!"
Homura did just that—before packing a good blow at Sanzo's face, sending him skidding back to hit against the graffiti-stained wall. Sanzo felt, while his frozen heart crumbled to nothingness, the trickle of blood down his trembling lips. Rage consumed him, fear maddened him, and strength failed him, as Homura dragged the frail creature into the front seat in their waiting Mercedes.
Homura drove on in silence, ignoring the soft voice that kept calling his name. The voice was meek, but beneath it was a bottle of sealed loath, waiting to be discharged.
"Homura…" Sanzo said again, in the gentlest tone he could manage.
The car came to an awkward halt outside an abandoned building fifteen minutes later. The same building he always ran to, Sanzo realized, to his horror. Did Homura know? Was the boy named Goku still lurking here? Homura would surely kill him if he was.
"Fuck!" Sanzo cursed, when Homura got out of the car and locked it with the control. "Let me out, you fucker! Goddamit! I hate you!"
Homura could only frown deeper, seeing Sanzo kicking furiously about and hearing muffled shouting within the car. He had to let the man out, before he wrecked any part of the precious thing. He unlocked it and opened the door for Sanzo himself.
"About time!" Sanzo screamed at him. He was silenced immediately when Homura hauled him out the car by his hair. Sanzo felt so much like a wild animal like this, thrashing madly about, tearing his claws at the hunter and bearing his fangs, but he couldn't help but wince painfully as Homura tugged at his hair even more.
"Stop it!" he yelled, clawing at the other man's sleeved arm, as his body swept the dusty floor. Tears pooled his eyes unconsciously as Homura towed him up a flight of stairs, still clutching the handful of blond strands. Sanzo was sure he would have yanked it off if he pulled an ounce harder. "Homura!"
The raven-haired man disregarded the persistent cries of his victim, and enjoyed it, to some extent. He threw the animal on the floor roughly, noting the droplets formed around the amethyst eyes and the blood flowing down the cherry lips. He pinned the shivering man down with his weight, taking advantage of his momentary weakness.
He stifled a muttered 'no' coming from the blonde's lips with his mouth. The two grappled at each other, Homura trying his best to keep his former lover down on the dusty floor, and Sanzo trying vainly to shove him off. A hungry tongue rolled over his own, and he quivered involuntarily. He felt the bulging arousal under all the thick fabric of leather, and shivered at that too.
"You little slut, you," Homura whispered, his liquor-laced breath hitting Sanzo right in the face. "Apologize to me for what you did tonight!"
"Homura… you've been drinking," Sanzo merely said, licking his cut lip.
Homura grabbed his hair once again and knocked his head hard on the wooden floor. Sanzo whimpered against his will. He didn't plead for Homura to stop torturing him like this. His pride was there for him at times like this. But he did fear when Homura started stripping in front of him… Oh shit!
"What are you doing?" Sanzo said, failing to conceal the dread in his voice. He sat up, but the stronger man pushed him back down. His hands reached downwards to unbuckle Sanzo's belt. "Quit it!" he desperately fumbled about, getting as far out of reach from Homura.
"APOLOGIZE FIRST!" the drunken man roared, pulling Sanzo closer by his hips.
"I did nothing wrong," he replied coolly, slapping filthy hands off his body.
Sanzo almost regretted the action. What came up next wasn't expected. Sanzo blushed from the humiliation and pain—Homura had slapped him—right in the face. No, it wasn't a box or punch; it just had to be a slap. It made him feel like some sort of abused wife or something. Homura took the bruised face in a comforting hand, caressing the eyes and lips with the other, and Sanzo let him.
"Why won't you apologize and come back to me? It would make things much easier for the both of us… don't make me claim you back by force."
Sanzo knew what the man meant when he said he'd claim him back.
"Fuck you. You never owned me. Never will. I'm not yours to fuck to sleep anymore. I'll no longer let my body be your temple! Let go!"
In a swift movement, he kicked Homura between the legs, making him groan in pain. His features twisted in discomfort as he ground his nails into the floor.
"I can't work with you anymore," Sanzo said, straightening himself up. "I'll never forgive you for what you did…"
"You're just fucking afraid of me, aren't you?" Homura regained control of himself and stood up too, diverse eyes blazing with lust and fury. "Afraid I might betray you too, afraid that I might leave you, so you left me first…"
"Wrong again, Homura. Wrong yet again…" Sanzo faced the open window.
"Admit it! You just hate being wrong. I know you too well, Genjo Sanzo… aren't you even afraid I might turn these things against you? Quit acting all brave and proud—inside, you're just a weak little child, seeking assurance and a back to rest upon… and it so happened that I was the first one who offered one to you. You didn't know how lost you were when you first joined the Academy…"
"Shut UP, Homura!" Sanzo banged his fist against a cracked wall. "You don't know shit about me, so just shut it! Shut the hell UP! I hate you, can't you get that through your fucking head?"
"You hate me, huh? Then was that confession two years ago just bullshit? You said it, you said the exact words, 'I love you, Homura' right after I left my mark under your skin… you loved that, didn't you?" Homura encircled his arms around Sanzo's slim, almost feminine-like waist and nibbled on his right earlobe teasingly. "You loved it too when I kissed the tears away… did it hurt?"
Sanzo shoved the arms away, disgusted. "You don't know real love! You only know lust. You can't really love me because you're already busy fucking me to death! You've got no bloody time for me when I want to be with you! And when you do, you just throw me into the nearest bed and screw me again! Is that what you think I am, Homura? Your temple?! I don't give free services, you know! I--!" Sanzo paused for a breath of air. He hesitated… "I… I loved you then. I just went with the flow because I had feelings for you. I guess I must have been the most pathetically emotional freak then… but you soon found yourself that bitch, Renrei."
"How many times do I have to tell you, Sanzo!?" Homura raised his hands in the air. "She was nothing to me! She meant nothing to me! Hell, stop accusing me of so many things! You sound as though you've wanted to tell me this for a long time! Why didn't you? But we're square now, aren't we? You got yourself that kid tonight!"
"Homura, I…"
"He meant nothing to you. Just say it!"
Sanzo, in a state of confusion and fear and anger, rubbed his temples to sooth the coming headache. I hate you, Homura… I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Don't come near me… I hate you, I hate you! Get out of my life before I kill you!
"Don't come near me… I hate you," he voiced out these venomous thoughts, curling up into a tight ball below the window. "Get out of my life… before I kill you. I mean it," he added, drawing out the gun to make his point.
Homura sighed, defeated. He threw the stolen sutra at the floor next to Sanzo. "Fine then… take the sutra with you, if you will. It's none of my concern now."
As Homura descended down the stairs, Sanzo had a mad, insane urge to call his name, fasten his legs around Homura's waist, and indulge in the same passion as before. He tilted his head up at the sound of the car engine bursting into life. Homura was leaving him. Sanzo willed himself to feel anything but regret and sorrow. He could live without clinging onto the man. He had to.
"Fucking asshole… useless, bloody…"
Sanzo clutched the part of his hair Homura had hung on to, realizing the pain only came at that very instant. It hurt. It hurt badly, and it wasn't foreign to him. He had been used to this sort of physical abuse back at the Academy… and speaking of the Academy, he had to find a way to tell Kougaiji about the whole incident. He would blame Kougaiji for putting them together. He would blame everything on him… that's right… and maybe Homura was true when he pointed out that Sanzo hated being wrong…
Two years before… when it all started…
It started to drizzle, and Homura was relatively concerned about his companion's trembling hands and uncertain gestures. He sat at their car's hood, watching as Sanzo fumbled about with his gun with freezing fingers. It soon became a sort of sport for Homura to gaze at the blond from time to time, studying the dainty fingers as they lit a cigarette, or the perfect body that was just begging to be tortured, or the attractive features and pretty drooping eyes that sent heads turning and drivers swerving across roads. Well, it did happen once with their first vehicle (a sports car without a roof). You could imagine the attention they were given with their faces exposed…
The rain was pelting down at them, and Homura blushed when he noticed Sanzo's loose top cling onto his slim figure with wet. It was certainly a sight to behold. The trickles of water ran down smooth, flawless skin, dripping off the ends of his light-colored hair. Sanzo licked his lips, tasting the rainwater on them. He hung his head back, letting the showers soak him to the skin. Homura could not keep his own reins from slipping from his control. He stood up and, striding to Sanzo, grabbed hold of the younger man.
"…You'll catch a cold like this," he said, grinning. "Let me warm you up…"
Sanzo, just a little more innocent and green then, didn't know what Homura meant when he said that. Homura decided to be gentle on him for now; after all, it was their first time.
~*~
Sanzo felt Homura raise his hips above the muddy ground. He grew afraid, but didn't show it. He dug his fingers into the wet soil, gasping and panting harshly, twisting and thrashing about wildly, as he felt Homura enter him. He bit his lip, in order not to weep when it became painful.
When Homura's broader form straddled the young blonde's, sheltering his face from the painful rain, Sanzo let his hands explore the lean body above his, unsure and timid, not sure if what he was doing was right… but one thing was certain…
"I love you, Homura…"
The man's face loomed closer, and kissed the salt-stained face lovingly. He had been waiting for this. Finally, after all his courting and wooing, it had come down to this—the thing he'd been waiting for anxiously, so desperately that he'd made the first move, and poor innocent Sanzo was just too naïve to understand what this was all about.
"Let's go. The owners must have arrived. Go do your thing, baby." Homura helped Sanzo up to his feet, pulling clothes on his white body. They departed with a deep, lustful kiss, and the killings began.
~*~
"You poor thing, you!" the woman cried, draping Sanzo with towels from the drawer. "I'm sure my husband wouldn't mind if I let you borrow some of his clothes… poor, shivering thing, you… I'll go prepare a warm bath."
The second after the old woman closed the bathroom door behind her, Sanzo began to rummage through every shelf and store room for the prized object… red staff-like weapon… with golden orbs at the ends… he remembered the details clearly. A gunshot pierced through his line of thinking, and he dropped whatever he was holding.
"What are you waiting for?" Homura appeared from nowhere, a trail of smoke emitting from the mouth of his gun. Sanzo had dreaded for this moment to come. "Move it!"
Sanzo obeyed his senior, entering the hall in silence. Yes, the owner of the house was here, startled and alarmed by the gunshot. He got up hurriedly as Sanzo came up to him, gun raised… gun raised… pointing straight at his forehead… three seconds passed…
"Fuck it!"
Sanzo flinched, as blood splattered on his pure skin, tainting it for life. Homura had attacked the man from behind, and Sanzo was there to catch the lifeless being in his quivering arms. He dropped his gun in disgust, letting the body slump to the floor. He had never seen a real death before, not right before his eyes, at least.
"What were you thinking?" Homura scolded, just as a master would scold a careless apprentice. "You fool! Just one second and you would have been dead! The asshole had a gun for fuck's sake! Get out of here! I found the Nyoibou. Make yourself useful and get out to start the damn car!"
Sanzo could only feel his fingers shake violently, and every cell in his living being was vibrating with his madly-thumping heart. He brought his hands up to cup his mouth. He was going to throw up for sure, he knew it… and he didn't want to do it in front of Homura. He swallowed the vile liquid down his dry throat, jerking aggressively as he caught sight of the blood on his hands…
"Sanzo! Get a hold of yourself! Damn!" Homura seized both of his wrists and rubbed the boiling veins. It served nothing to improve Sanzo's condition, and he bent lower to whisper soothing things in his ear, just like a rider would do to calm his fear-stricken steed. "I'm here… there's nothing here to harm you… nothing at all…"
It's just blood… just blood… it can always be washed away… Sanzo kept telling himself, to cool his frayed nerves.
Everything was just a blank state of mind after that. Homura had heaved him back to their car, with the stolen staff in one hand. The police would be notified sooner or later.
Back to present time…
Sanzo was back at his mansion at Street 39 (A/n: ^__) cursing away in the bathroom in front of the mirror. He looked as dead as ever. The bruise Homura had given him an hour ago was starting to show near his right eye, in an angry black and blue spot. It was over with him. Over, over, OVER! Over with Homura and me… fuck him! I hate him! Dabbing the swell with a soaked towel, he let the water run down his ruined good looks, cursing at everything he saw and touched.
He carefully and silently plastered a white piece of cotton over the bruise, concealing it from everyone like he concealed his fears. He looked like an idiot, like a worn prisoner of his own mistakes… like the outcome of Homura's selfishness and fury. Damn the man. Damn him for everything! Damn him for taking away his purity two years ago, damn him for taking advantage of him at times, damn him for… everything! And yet, Sanzo still hung onto the man all this time. He damned himself for that.
~*~*~*~
The bar was the best place to go to. Everyone didn't even bother to take note of the bandage near his eye; injury was one of the most common things one would see here. The redhead DJ wasn't here, probably still in bed with the gunshot wound. Sanzo's aim was ever so accurate—as usual. He'd shot the man right in the left shoulder, knowing it would cause anything else but death, of course unless the man was a weakling. He needed some answers, and he thought the best way to do it was to not kill anyone—yet—so that the professor wouldn't be so pent-up or emotionally broken-down when he confronted him.
So what if it meant betraying Homura, his long-time partner and ex-lover? No, Sanzo didn't feel like killing anyone tonight. He really felt like fucking someone senseless, someone to replace Homura's place. The dancers on the disco floor were getting him rather high, and to his displeasure and embarrassment, some girls noticed and tried to entice him with their sweet words and sexy strides. None came even as close as a meter away. Sanzo made sure of that.
"Anything strong, that's all…"
That voice—Sanzo turned to face the person next to him. "Goku," he said unconsciously.
"I-It's y-you…" Goku stuttered, frightened. He edged away but then saw the bandaged face. "What happened to… oh, sorry," he said quickly, remember what had happened the night before. Sanzo and his furious lover must have gotten into a fight and he got seriously hurt. "Did he say sorry?" Goku asked boldly, then cupping his mouth with his hands after he realized what came out.
Sanzo didn't seem to mind when he said, "Say sorry? Fuck him. He never meant any of that bullshit! What the hell are you so interested about? Get lost, kid."
"What? You almost—almost tried to rape me last night--!"
"Rape you?" Sanzo's eyes laughed mockingly at him. "Hell, who'd wanna do that for? Besides, I only just got to know you yesterday… I'm not that desperate! Get out of my life! I don't need anyone! We never talked last night, remember? Gosh, you've got a goldfish's memory!"
"Well I'm sorry, but if you never kissed me back then, none of this would have happened! I would have still been living my life as it is!"
"In guilt?" Sanzo said, lighting a cigarette. "I thought you said you killed a friend. Hmph, and I wonder why I'm still here talking to you…" He got up, adjusting the collar of his white jacket and left the crowded area.
The night air was such a comforting relief to him. At least it was better out here than in there, now with that Goku kid whom he kept bumping into… he just didn't want to admit he found the boy attractive and… His hand fastened itself around the gun in his hidden pocket when he perceived the familiar bearded man coming towards the alley, flanked by two other recognizable faces.
"Fancy seeing you here, Genjo Sanzo," Li Touten drawled, suddenly pulling him away from the ears of the two bodyguards. "I heard you've found yourself another lover, Sanzo. Hn. With those looks, you'd be able to entice anyone you want… and sometimes, those you don't want…"
"Get the fuck away from me," Sanzo whispered dangerously, eyes glaring viciously.
Li Touten smiled sickeningly, slapping Sanzo's butt with a vile hand. The gun was taken out instantaneously, and pointed itself at the man's forehead. Sweat beads formed around his smiling face, as Dokugakuji and the other guard nearer them, in cautious steps.
"Don't move, boys," Li Touten said. "He won't do it. He wouldn't dare."
"What do you take me for? I've killed others before, without hesitation. Killing you would be a piece of cake."
"You were never good at respecting seniors, kid. Maybe if Homura was still your stead, he'd teach you a thing or two."
Sanzo gulped. "He never forced me. It was good while it lasted."
"But it didn't… so, I heard you've got the sutra. Show it to me."
"Never."
All three men were stunned. Li Touten stood staring at Sanzo for a good five seconds. "No? You work for us, Sanzo, haven't you forgotten that? Hand it over!"
"Who said I worked for you? I work alone."
And he pulled the trigger. For the first time in his life, he smiled at the sight of the blood on his hands.
A/n: So damn sorry for the lack of GojyoXHakkai in this chapter! Gomen! Hey, at least I finished this chapter when I'm supposed to be studying! I just couldn't bear to leave this for two weeks of exams! Thanks to those who reviewed and wished me good luck ^^ Good luck to everyone too! Hehe…
Forgive me for mistakes… it's over midnight now, and I'm really tired… *yawn* Gotta go!
What to be expected: A very, very late update, so please bear with me! Someone's playing at Sanzo's game too… I'm not saying who, but this character's not introduced yet… he's someone you guys know for sure. Homura's mad as ever because of a little something someone told him about Sanzo… and… more Sanzo-torture in the next chapter^^;;
