Karalen: Here it is, the chapter where Ryou goes INSAAAAANE!!! Heh heh, Inashu and I had fun with this one! She gave me the whole 'Spin the Bottle' idea! Sorry, she's a sap for Ryou x Yugi...Anyway, insanity ahead! I looooooove the reviews, but I want more! Anyway, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. On to the story!

(blah) - Action ((blah)) - Me interrupting the story 'blah' - Thoughts "blah" - Direct quote from someone

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CHAPTER 7: RYOU VS. BAKURA

(All the yamis and hikaris are at the Motou Game Shop. They're playing 'Spin the Bottle')

Ryou: Hmm...let's see...my turn? (spins the bottle)

Bakura: (watches the bottle anxiously)

Ryou: Oh...it landed on Yugi...

Bakura and Yami: WHAT?!?!? O_______O

Yugi: Daijobou ka, Yami? ((Translation: Are you all right, Yami?)

Yami: (blush) Hai, hai. Go ahead, hikari. 'I still haven't confessed my feelings to him yet! Can't give it away now...' ((Translation: Yes, yes.))

Yugi: (shyly goes up to Ryou) Ano...Ryou... ((Translation: Um...Ryou...))

Ryou: (smiles sweetly) It's all right, Yugi. (stands up and puts a hand under Yugi's chin.)

(They softly press their lips together. After a few seconds, Yugi runs back to his spot with a fire truck blush. Ryou just smiles sweetly ((Cause he's so sweet!)))

Bakura: (jealous demons pop out and do the jitter bug dance on his shoulder)

Yami: (glares at nothing)

Yugi: Ok, my turn! (spins the bottle) Marik?!

Malik: O_______O

Marik: Great.

Yugi: (just baaaaaarely kisses Marik, then runs back to his spot)

Yami: (gives a death glare to the authoress)

Marik: (grumbles) My turn. (spins the bottle) Bakura?!

Bakura: -_-

(They kiss and get it over with)

Bakura: My turn. (spins the bottle) 'Please land on Ryou, please land on Ryou...' (bottle stops on...) PHARAOH NO BAKA?!?! (looks to the sky) Do all the gods hate me or something?!!?

Yami: NOOO!!! I will not tolerate this! I won't kiss that Tomb Robber!!!

Yugi: Come on Yami, it's just a game!

Ryou: (lightly touches Bakura's arm) Please Bakura....

(Three hours later)

Yugi: Pleeeease Yami? (uses puppy eyes)

Ryou: Onegai, Bakura? (uses puppy eyes) ((Translation: Please, Bakura?))

Yami and Bakura: ...stupid puppy eyes...

(They go to each other, and veeeeery reluctantly give each other a smaaaall peck on the lips)

Yami and Bakura: ACK!!! EWWWWW!!! (runs off towards the bathroom) ((Separate ones, of course!))

Malik: ...oh well! Let's keep on playing! (spins the bottle)

(Four hours later)

(Yami and Bakura come out of the bathroom, still sputtering)

Yami: (sees Yugi) Hello aibou! (smiles)

Bakura: (same with Ryou)

All others: GAAAAAAH!!! I'M BLIIIIND!!!

(You see, Yami and Bakura brushed their teeth for four hours straight. Their teeth are blindingly ((Is that even a word?)) white)

Ryou: Well, since we skipped Yami Yugi's turn, it's now my turn. (spins it.)

(Inashu pops up and does some magic on the bottle)

Ryou: Yugi again?

Bakura: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!

Yami: .....

Inashu: (grins wickedly)

Ryou: (goes to Yugi) This is the fifteenth time, correct?

Yugi: (blush) Yes...

Bakura and Yami: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (goes on for two pages) AAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?

Ryou and Yugi: (press their lips together softly)

Inashu: (does some more magic)

Ryou and Yugi: Mmmm...MPH?! (they try to pull apart)

Marik: They're stuck! MWA HA HA!! Good one, Inashu!

Inashu: My pleasure! I love torturing those two!

Malik: Who? Yugi and Ryou?

Authoress: No, Yami and Bakura.

(They all look to Yami and Bakura. Yami has a fire background behind him with his eyes blazing. Bakura has 10,000,000,000,000,000 jealous demons doing the limbo all around him)

Ryou and Yugi: Mph MMMPH!!! ((Translation: Help USSSS!!!)

Inashu: (grins evilly and does some more magic)

(Ryou thinks Yugi is Bakura, and Yugi thinks Ryou is Yami. They deepen their kiss)

Yami and Bakura: GAAAAAH!!!

(Thirty minutes later)

(Ryou and Yugi are still kissing passionately. Marik and Malik got bored and ran to a spare bedroom. The Authoress still watches, drooling. Yami and Bakura are still glaring)

Inashu: Man, I don't see how they can kiss for that long, but it's sill grrrreat! YAAAAOOOOII!!!

Yami: FREE MY YUGI, NOOOOOOOW!!!

Karalen: (pops up) INASHU!!! Quit messing with the destined couples!!! ((Destined couples: Yami and Yugi, Bakura and Ryou, Marik and Malik))

Inashu: All right, yeesh...(she releases all the spells)

(Both girls leave)

Ryou and Yugi: (eyes literally pop out of their head when they see whom they're kissing. They back off and go fire engine red)

Bakura: RYOU!!!

Ryou: I'm sorry Bakura...

(Later that night, still at the Motou residence, everyone is eating except Ryou. He's still trying to get all the dessert ready. Once he does so, he gets ready to sit down, when...)

Bakura: Ryou, could you get me some coffee?

Ryou: Sure thing Bakura! (goes and gets the coffee. Once he brings it back, he is about to eat when...)

Bakura: Ryou, my spaghetti ran out. Get me some more.

Ryou: (sighs) Sure Bakura. (goes to get the spaghetti)

Yugi: Don't you think you're making him do too many things?

Bakura: Nonsense! He does this every night, and I don't see him complaining!

Ryou: (comes back with the spaghetti. He's about to eat when...)

Bakura: Ryou, my bib's dirty! Go clean-

Ryou: AAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!

Bakura: ...Ryou?

Ryou: SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP!!!

Bakura: Huh?

Ryou: Every single NIGHT, it's allllways the same thing! "Ryou do this, Ryou do that!" Well, I'm tired of it!

Bakura: ...I just want my bib cleaned...

Ryou: (Unhuman screech) THAT'S IIIIIIT!!! MY MIND IS LOOOOOOST!!! HAS ANYONE SEEN MY MIIIIIIND?!?!

Yami: O_O

Bakura: Ryou, what the-

Ryou: I'M GONNA KEEEEEEEEEELL YOU AAAAAAALLLL!!! (gets a butcher knife and a flame thrower)

All: O___________O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (runs away)

Ryou: COME BACK HEEEERE!!! (runs after them)

(30 minutes later. Malik has a video camera in front of him, practically up his nose)

Malik: We've been in this room for 25 minutes, hiding from Ryou. He's officially lost it. (starts to hyperventilate) I'm gonna die out here...I'm so scared...If anyone finds this, it means I'm dead...(1)

Marik: (grabs the video camera) Stop it aibou! I don't want you to loose your mind too!

Malik: Hold me...(snuggles up to Marik)

Marik: (holds Malik protectively)

Bakura: (hugging his knees) What have I done, oh what have I done?

Ryou: YAAAAAMIIIIIII?!?! I KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE SOMEWHEEEERE!!!

Bakura: (claps a hand over his mouth)

Ryou: COME OUT ALL OF YOOOOUUUU!!! I WON'T HURT YOU...WE'RE PLAAAAAYING A GAAAAAAME!!! IT'S CALLED, "CUT THE HEAD OFF THE YAMI!!!"

Yami: We've got to get out of here!

Marik: But how?! Ryou's out there with a butcher knife, a flame thrower, a chainsaw, heck, he even has a nuclear missile!

Yami: We'll just have to sneak quietly and be extremely careful...

Marik: Agreed. We need to get out of here for the hikaris sake.

Yami: What? My aibou is just fine!

Marik: (points to a corner)

Yugi: (is whimpering and hugging his knees) I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die...

Yami: ...I see. (goes to Yugi and picks him up)

Ryou: MWA HA HA!!! I THINK I KNOOOW WHERE YOU AAAARE!!!

Marik: (curses and picks up Malik) Come on y'all!

(Everyone runs quietly out)

Yugi: I'm ok...I'm ok...(gets down and gets beside everyone)

Malik: (still whimpering) We need...to call the police...or something...

Bakura: Good idea! ...how?

Malik: (gets out of his scared state) With the telephone, idiot!

Bakura: .....why would I wanna tell a phone that we're being chased by a psycho Ryou?

Malik: NO! I mean the object, TELEPHONE!!!

Bakura: ......what's a "tell-a-fon?"

Malik: Never mind! (grabs the phone)

Ryou: I HEEEEAAARD THAAAAT!!!

Yugi: I'll distract him, you guys make the call! (sprints down the hall)

Yami: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! YUUUUUUUUUGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

Malik: Oh, SHUT UP!!!

Ryou: (pops up in front of them) This Yami was screaming so loud I could've shot him in the dark. (2)

Yami: (scowls)

Ryou: NOW YOU ALLLLLL DIIIIIEEE!!!

Yugi: Not so fast, Ryou!

Ryou: HUH?!

Yugi: (swings down from a wire in the ceiling, yelling the 'Tarzan yell'. He kicks Ryou down the hall) Make the call, for the sake of all things holy, MAKE THE CALL!!!

Malik: Yes, Police?! We have a homicidal maniac here! (gives him the address) And hurry the heck up!!! (hangs up)

Yami: Now we have to save Yugi!

Bakura: Wait a minute...where are they?

Marik: (sees a note in the hallway) LOOKIE!!! Everyone, come lookie at thiiiiiis!! (the note has a diamond ring on top of it to hold it down) Ooooooooooh, shiiiiiiiiinyyyyyyyy...(stares at it and drools)

Malik: (picks up note) "Dear Victims...if you ever want to see your little tri-hair colored friend again, you must find and fight me. Love, Ryou. P.S. I'M GONNA KEEEEEEEELL YOU ALLLLLL!!!"

Yami: The note has blood on it...NO! NOT MY YUGI'S BLOOD!!!

Bakura: (takes the blood and puts it in his mouth) Pharaoh no baka, it's just ketchup!

Yami: ...oh. Well, we must find my lov...I mean, Yugi!

Marik: Pharaoh...we already know that Yugi's your love, quit hiding it!

Malik: (GASP) No WAY!!! Yami Yugi's in love with Yugi?! Like, WOW!!! (whispers in Bakura's ear) Did you know that Yami Yugi loves Yugi?! I didn't know either! (girlish squeal)

Bakura: (sweatdrops)

Yami: ONWARD!!! TO SAVE YUGI!!! (runs outside and smacks into a car) How DARE you try and stop me from saving Yugi?!?! MIND CRUSH!!! (tries to Mind Crush the car repeatedly)

All 3: .......(sweatdrop)

TO BE CONTINUED

Karalen: That was fun! Sorry, but I really love this chapter! This was really fun to work on, and I won't stop till the end...or unless I get a huge writer's block...

Inashu: R&R peoples! Karalen worked hard on this one! With my ideas of course...(blows on her nails)

Yami: How come RYOU gets to kiss Yugi?! I never got to kiss him!!!

Karalen: Yes you did. Remember in the third chapter?

Yami: That's different! Ryou got to kiss him 15 times!

Inashu: Awwwwww, poor wittle baby....

Karalen: Heh, no fluff for you!

Yami: (pouts)

Karalen: REVIIIIEEEEEWWW!!! Oh, and I do not own Tarzan's yell.

(1)- Spoof off of 'Blair Witch Project' (2)- Line off of Lord of the Rings, just altered a bit.