(Chapter 37.  The beach house.  September 8, 2033.)

Steve opened the envelope and carefully unfolded the cheap prison stationery.  He didn't know why he was reading the letter again.  Maybe he needed to see the words one more time before he could put that disastrous chapter of his life completely behind him.  Two weeks ago, he had promised Maribeth his undivided attention for the rest of their days.  This was the last distraction, and when it was gone, he would finally be free to be the husband and father he wished he had always been.

Chief Sloan,

So, you managed to get your bastard brat off Scot-free!  I guess you had to call in a few favors for that one.  Of course, maybe her mother was doing a few favors for you in return, eh?

I used to think you were a powerful man, but once I started working for you, I realized you were just stupid.  You could have been so much more if you had seen what someone like me could have done for you, but no, you had to be so incorruptible, so damned righteous.  You're nothing but a weak fool bound by rules. 

My daddy was a powerful man.  You may think he was one of the criminals he was supposed to capture, but you're mistaken.  He transcended the law.  He was bigger than right and wrong.  My mother couldn't understand his power, so she took me away from him.  Then you took my lover away from me.  Perhaps now it is finally my turn to take something away from you.

I hate you, I have always hated you, and I could have destroyed you so many times over the years that it became a game to see if you would realize, but you never did, because you couldn't see past your stupid rules.  You were so easy to fool!  Mr. Gorini and I laughed long and loud at you many times.  As long as I appeared to be following the rules, you never had a clue.  If Lieutenant Stephens hadn't told you who I was, would I still be working for you, bugging your office and your phone, your house, reporting your every move to Mr. Gorini?  Probably.

Maybe I'll just take your little bastard brat away from you.

I know you think I am crazy, sick, and twisted, and I suppose in your little rule-bound world, I must be, but you helped make me what I am by helping my daddy take over the Ganza family.  When I lost him, my world fell apart.  I tried my best to make you pay for what you did to me and my mother and daddy, but you won anyway, and I can't tell you how much I regret that, how ashamed I am of my failure.

By the time you get this letter, I will have gone to join my lover.  Of course, you know, my blood is on your hands, Chief.  And maybe that is the one thing I can take from you after all, the clear conscience that you never deserved, but always seemed to treasure so dearly. 

Enjoy your retirement, if you can.

Leigh Ann

Steve sighed.  He had to admit, as warped as her mind was, Leigh Ann had understood him perfectly, but the one thing she never got was the fact that life is choice driven.  Thirty years ago, Steve had chosen to go along with Chief Masters' scheme to install Ross Cainin as the head of the Ganza crime family.  Cainin made the choice to become a criminal.  Leigh Ann chose to blame Steve for her father's failures, and she chose to take her own life.  He regretted her death as he would the loss of any human life, but he certainly would not feel responsible for it. 

The only part of her letter that had provoked any response from him was the implication that she had bugged his home for Gorini.  He had simply called Cheryl and asked her to have a team come sweep the place.  Nothing was found, even when Ron called a friend at the FBI to double check, and now, Steve was satisfied that Leigh Ann had just been trying to cause him further distress.

Steve opened the other envelope, the one addressed to Emily.  As far as he knew, no one was aware that they had been keeping in touch, and he really had no idea why the young woman had wanted to maintain contact with him of all people.  She couldn't even bring herself to say his name. 

Em had initiated the communication by calling him on his cell phone out of the blue one day, and had given him her private number.  She had she moved into her parents' guest house almost immediately after returning to Pennsylvania because she didn't want her mother in her hair all the time, but needed her parents close by in case she got into trouble.  When Steve had joked that he thought Em was quite capable of getting herself out of any trouble she might get into, he was greeted with silence and found himself apologizing for his thoughtlessness.  Emily might be just like her mother in many ways, but at the same time, she was very different, and she apparently lacked the ability to laugh her way through tough times like her mother did.

When he mentioned Leigh Ann's letter for the first time, Emily had insisted that she was not the least bit interested in what the madwoman might have had to say.  On her second phone call, she had asked him to read her the letter, and after he did, she had assured him that she didn't believe a word of it and that she would be returning to LA before Christmas.  The third time she called, she asked him to destroy the letter for her.

Since he had read it aloud to her over the phone, Steve didn't think Emily would mind his reading the letter once more before he got rid of it for good.  The first time he had read the letter, he had been amazed at how cleverly Leigh Ann had disguised her anger and insanity in her words.  Now, her devious skill with the language chilled him.  If she had presented herself so reasonably to a jury, she would have gone free, and his world never would have been safe from her evil designs.

My dear Emily,

So, you got off.  Why am I not surprised?  You might not be the daughter that Sloan thought you were, but still he had to protect you, didn't he, if only to save his reputation?  To be quite honest, I really don't mind.  I am pleased that you got away with all you did.  It makes me happy that someone has finally beaten this ridiculous legal system we have.

I need to warn you, though, about your relationship with Chief Sloan.  He is a vain and manipulative man.  You are involved with his son, and that means that you are involved with him too.  You should know that weakling boy will never be more than he is because his daddy can't stand the competition.  I realize that you are an exceptionally bright young woman with a great future ahead of you.  Do not let them hold you back!  Pull yourself away from the Sloan family and their influences.

I know you told Chief Sloan about me, Emily, and frankly, I am grateful.  I don't think I could have borne much more of his high and mighty righteousness.  This is the right ending for me, much better than just fading away in the dullness of being his assistant.  Trust me when I tell you that he will never let you breathe, never let you be what you have the potential to be.  I should know.  As his secretary, I never got the chance to be anything else.

You and I are two of a kind, Emily.  I know you will try to deny it, but I also know who and what you were before you took up with the likes of Chief Sloan.  You were wild and free, and smart enough to do anything that you wanted.  You were above the law until you decided to become a cop.

All that honor, 'to serve and to protect', and what did it get you?  A defective body and the threat of the gas chamber, the end of your career, and freedom. 

Do you still think you did the right thing to save him?  Do you think he would have done the same for you?  Not in a million lifetimes.  He thought you were his daughter, and you were sleeping with his son.  Your death would have saved him a scandal that might just have tarnished that shiny reputation of his.

Now that you can no longer be a cop, I urge you to revert to your true nature.  Leave LA.  Get away from the Sloans and their meddling ways.  Rejoice in your ability to be and do whatever you want.  You are already rich.  Now make yourself powerful.  Throw out the rules, and make your own way in the world.  It is the only way you will ever be who you truly are.

Your concerned friend,

Leigh Ann

With another sigh and a shudder, Steve threw the letters into the flames in the fireplace.  Then he took out his cell phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Em? . . . It's Steve, uh, Chief Sloan."  He never knew how to identify himself to her.  He really wanted to be on friendly, familiar terms, and she seemed to want it, too, but her respect for him ran so deep that she couldn't bring herself to call him anything other than Chief or Sir.

"I'm fine, thanks, how are you, Em? . . . Really? . . . That's wonderful!  Steven will be so pleased . . . Are you sure?  I wish you would let me tell him something.  He misses you so much . . . No, I don't understand, but I will respect your wishes . . . So when are you coming back to LA? . . . Can't you be any more specific than 'before Christmas?'"

Steve knew Emily had a lot of issues to work through, and he fervently hoped that she would eventually allow his son to help her face some of them, but every time he mentioned Steven, she swore him to secrecy.  Every time he asked about her plans, he got the same vague answer, 'before Christmas.'  It was damned annoying, but he didn't want to alienate her when she was in such a fragile state, so kept his temper in check.

"Yeah, life is good here.  Maribeth and I celebrated our thirtieth wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago . . . Oh, lots of things.  I had the carpets cleaned and took her out to dinner, gave her some jewelry. . . Ok, listen, I know scheduling the Stanley Steamer Carpet Cleaner was not the height of romance, but she'd been nagging about it for weeks, and besides, she seemed pleased with everything, including clean rugs . . . Oh, she gave me a boat! . . . Yeah, thirty-eight feet and it sleeps six.  I couldn't believe it! . . . I'd be happy to take you and Steven out in it some time . . ."

Steve waited for Emily to acknowledge his offer.  She'd been gone two months, and she had yet to give any indication of what her intentions were concerning his son.  As the silence grew uncomfortably long, Steve decided to finish his business and end the call.

"Well, I just called to let you know I burned Leigh Ann's letters tonight . . . I was just giving you time to change your mind . . . You're welcome . . . I will, you too . . . Talk to you later, Em . . . Good bye."

Steve hung up the phone with a sigh.  Whatever Emily's plans were, she was certainly being tight-lipped about them.  He just hoped that they included his son.