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Disclaimer: I do not, and never will, own Harry Potter and its characters.
AN: Whoooooooooooooooo! I must be drunk! * giggles madly* Okay, seriously, my esteemed ladies and gentlemen.... * falls over* I REALLY don't know why I'm writing this. I hope people actually like this. ^_^ Seems a little weird, but bear with me.
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Professor Severus Snape strode into his classroom in the dungeons. The whole class could tell he was mad. He took a deep breath and faced the class.
" It has come to my attention that since a certain celebrity and his friends began to attend Hogwarts," he looked pointedly at Harry, Ron, and Hermione, "several students have taken to writing stories about me. I do realize that I am a very interesting person, and I understand that some of you simply can't control yourselves. I do not mind that these stories are about me, but I am apalled at the nature of these stories. Yesterday I found on one of the desks a story featuring myself and one of my students. In this story, we were romantically involved. I was not surprised because it wasn't the first time I'd found something like that.
" Just last week I found a story where Miss Granger and I were found in a very compromising position. Another in which I indecently fell for my own niece. The list goes on and on. Other students featured in these... things were Miss Weasley, Miss Parkinson, Miss Millicent, Miss Patil, and Miss Lavander. I do ask for who ever writes these stories to keep in mind that I have been teaching here longer than you've been born. I am NOT a child molester. I would never be romantically involved with one of my own students. I am simply apalled at some of the things people have written about me! I just came from Professor McGonagall's class. I had to trade all the stories I've found of her involvement with the male students for the stories she's found of my involvement with the female population. Whoever is writing these, I hope you're happy. Because you left these stories lying around in her class, I had to trade my only weapon against her for these ridiculous pieces of parchment.
" Because I don't know who the writer of these stories is, or even if there is more than one participant, I cannot do anything about it. But please, do not leave them lying around where other teachers may find them. Although the headmaster finds them extremely amusing, we both agree that it must stop. Class is over."
All the students exchanged looks, some looking rather guilty, and walked out of the class. Soon the next class came in, and the Gryffindors and Slytherins could hear Snape begin his speech again.
" It has come to my attention..."
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WEIRD, HUH? I KNOW. * takes off caps lock* I'm sooooooooooo bored and well, I'm just plain bored. I really won't mind flames for this story. I'll probably end up deleting it anyways. ^_^ I know it's stupid, but what can I do? *yawns* Well, good night, California. ( Good night even if you don't live in California)
