~*~ I Hate Caterpillars Butterflies I Love ~*~
~Caterpillars I hate

~This boring life of green

~Is like my own

~Like living out on a limb

~Or leaf

~I feel so alone

~Because I hate caterpillars

~Butterflies I love

~Strange idea inside my head

~Inside

~My safety cocoon

~I'll be a butterfly soon

~Then out comes the sunshine

~Dries out my paper wings

~Soon they'll spread

~And I'll leave it all behind

~Fly away from

~The life I dread

~Because I hate caterpillars

~Butterflies I love

~Strange idea inside my head

~Inside

~My safety cocoon

~I'll be a butterfly soon

~Finding it easier

~To be a caterpillar

~Easier to belong

~Now I know that

~Caterpillar can't

~Stay like that for long

Have you ever felt like there's a part of you missing, but you can't quite tell what it is? That's how I felt Saturday morning.

It was about a month after Christmas. Everything had been going smoothly: lessons were fun, my grades were good, I was having fun with my friends, Malfoy had left me alone. I was happy. But then something happened that Saturday that made it all disappear.

I woke up.

I'd gone to sleep without a care in the world, but suddenly, I'd woken up with the world on my shoulders. It was a strange feeling I couldn't quite explain. I felt caged in, suppressed. And I didn't like it.

'What's wrong, Lily?' asked Bella, flopping down on my bed.

'Arabella Figg, I just made that bed!'

She rolled her eyes.

'Neat freak,' she muttered. 'Now tell me what's wrong.'

'Nothing,' I said softly, smoothing out the bed.

'Something is bothering you, Lily Evans! Fess up!'

I felt a strange flip in my stomach then. That's exactly what Joey would have said. In the end I gave in and flopped down on the bed.

'Now who's messing up the bed?' scoffed Bella as I successfully crinkled my sheets.

'I can't explain it. I just feel... dark.'

'Oh my god, you're going to become a death eater, aren't you?' she gasped mockingly. 'What's a Death Eater?' I asked curiously.

'Voldemort's followers. Supporters of the Dark Arts,' she shrugged.

'Oh,' I said. 'Nope. Not that kind of dark.'

'I should hope so!' Bella said firmly. 'But what is it then?'

'I'm not sure,' I sighed, rolling onto my back and staring at the ceiling.

'Well, whatever it is, I think it calls for a vegge-out and make-over session!'

At that moment, Hilary walked out of the bathroom in her trademark outfit: T-shirt, undies, facial mask and her hair up in a towel.

'What's going down, girls? Did someone mention a make-over?' she asked, flopping down next to Bella.

'Geez, what is this? Slumber party in Lily's bed?' I joked.

'Sounds great to me,' said James, walking in with a grin. I flipped back onto my stomach to look at him.

'You've really got to stop doing that.'

'Doing what?' he laughed.

'Walking into our dormitory at specific moments when someone usually asks a question and you come up with some smart arse answer.'

'Oh.'

'He really has to stop coming into our dormitory altogether,' Hilary added.

'What do you want?' Bella asked, cocking her head to the side.

'Well, it's a Hogsmeade weekend...' James began.

'Yeah?'

'And Sirius wants to know if Bella would like to go with him.'

'Getting you to do his dirty work, is he?'

'As always,' James replied.

'Wait a second, back up - Hogsmeade is for third years and up,' I pointed out.

'You're forgetting one tiny weeny thing,' James said in a sing-song voice.

'The cloak,' Hilary said slowly. 'But you mean to say that you're wasting your cloak on the Hogsmeade weekend on two lovesick puppies when you could be taking me?'

'Sorry sis,' he grinned. 'I just happen to be the bestest best friend in the world. So what's it to be, Miss Figg?'

'You can tell Sirius,' Bella said slowly, glancing at me, 'that I'm sorry, but I have an urgent matter to attend to.'

'Oh, Bella, no. Go with Sirius...' I began, but she held up her hand.

'Friends come first,' she insisted. 'You can tell Sirius maybe some other time.'

James gave a bow.

'Your wish is my command. Have fun ladies - you know who to call if you get lonely,' he said with a wink, before walking out and closing the door after him.

'Bella, you should have gone,' I sighed. 'I'm fine.'

'No you're not,' Hilary said, searching my eyes. 'Something's bothering you.'

'Where's Toni and Kelsey and Reilly?' Bella asked.

'Note on the door,' I said distractedly, turning back to Hilary.

'And how the hell would you know if something's wrong with me?' I challenged.

'You have very emotional eyes,' Bella answered before Hilary could. 'You can find out a lot about what mood you're in by looking into your eyes.'

'Well, I can tell a lot about you by what you eat,' I told Bella. 'When you're bored, you indulge. When you're happy, you eat light. And when you're not happy, you don't eat at all.'

'Lily! You should become a psychologist!' Bella gasped mockingly.

'Lil, honey, everybody eats like that when they're in those moods,' Hilary said with fake sympathy.

'I know,' I laughed.

'Well, except Paige,' Hilary added as an afterthought. 'When she's upset, she eats a lot and throws it up. When she's happy she'll just pretend to eat, but when she's really happy, she doesn't bother eating at all.'

We all laughed.

'She's not that skinny,' I commented though. 'She wouldn't be anorexic or bulimic or anything.'

'Oh, she's got to have some flesh on her. Guys don't go for anorexic bitches,' Hilary said with disgust.

'Yeah,' Bella agreed distractedly. She was staring at the floor as if she could see through it.

'So what was this make over you passed up Hogsmeade for about?' Hilary asked.

'Yeah - Lily needs a cheer-me-up session.'

'Ooh! I'm getting the food,' Hilary said, jumping up. 'In exchange for a make-over, of course,' she added. Bella gave in.

'Alright, but Lily's first priority. We need to get what-ever-it-is-she's- not-telling-us off her mind,' she grinned.

'Deal,' Hilary said, out the door in the flash. I looked over at Bella.

'Bathroom!' she commanded, and frogmarched me out of the room.

* * *

Half an hour later I was covered in avocado paste, my hair was up in a towel and Bella was painting my toes while I pigged out on some potato chips. I felt like Hilary, honestly. This was her scene, not mine.

'What would you say, Hil? Green, or black?' Bella asked, holding up two bottles of nail varnish. I wriggled my toes in their separators.

'Red!' I volunteered.

'Shut up, your face will crack,' Hilary said with a look. 'It's bad luck to crack a facial. Anyways, you have red hair so red nail polish would clash. You need something different. Black compliments her hair.'

'But look how the green brings out her eyes,' Bella pointed out.

'They're both gross colours,' I protested. 'Red is fine.'

I was silenced with another look from Hilary.

'Hate to break it to you, honey, but we're experienced in this thing.'

'You'll look great when we're finished,' Bella insisted. 'Trust me.'

Hilary succeeded in shutting me up by shoving some chips in my mouth. I scowled and began chewing them while Bella began painting my toes metallic emerald.

'Do you have a spare brush?' Hilary asked.

'Nah - start on her wardrobe.'

'OK!'

'What is the point of this, guys? We aren't going anywhere,' I commented.

'It's a girl's prerogative to beautify herself with no apparent reason,' Bella laughed.

'And it's a girl's prerogative to change her mind,' Hilary added, deciding against the purple sweater she had placed on my bed for me to wear.

'Purple was last season,' she muttered.

I rolled my eyes. 'Hilary, you're eleven years old. By law, you shouldn't be this into clothes and make-up until you're at least thirteen,' I laughed.

'Is that a fact? Oh yeah, it's also a girl's prerogative to run away from a ball...' she said absent-mindedly, giving up on my range of clothes and resorting to raiding her own trunk.

'That green camisole of yours would look great on her, Bella, but it wouldn't fit...'

'Yeah, I'm to fat,' I laughed.

'Nope, I'm just tiny,' Bella grinned.

'So Lily, we're making you over, now you have to spill what's bothering you.'

'I don't really know,' I admitted. 'I just have this gloomy feeling. Like everything's about to come crashing down.'

Bella and Hilary raised their gazes to meet each other's eyes. I looked form one to the other.

'What?'

They quickly looked back down at what they were doing.

'OK - new topic - we'll play a word game. I'll say a word, and you say the first thing that comes into your mind when I say that word, OK?' Hilary asked.

'OK.'

'Bella.'

'Nice.'

'Hilary.'

'Sarcastic.'

'James.'

'Funny.'

'Sirius.'

'Hyper.'

'Remus.'

'Calm.'

'Peter.'

'Pipsqueak,' I giggled. Bella and Hilary snorted.

'Dog.' 'Playful.'

'Cat.'

'Fluffy.'

'Lily.'

'Flower.'

'OK, enough of that,' Bella grinned. 'Boring.' She'd finished on my toes and had moved to my fingers. 'Let's play something else.'

'Like?'

'Truth or dare, but without the dares,' I suggested.

'Truth,' Hilary said.

'Yeah.'

'OK then,' Bella agreed. 'Who'll go first?'

'You can,' I said, grinning. 'And I'm asking.'

'Just wait!' Hilary said. 'We should cast truth spells so we can't lie.'

'Do you know a truth spell?' Bella asked doubtfully. 'I thought that veriteseum potion or whatever it is was the only one.'

'There's truth spells, they're just weak,' I said. 'Veritaserum is almost impossible to defy.' 'Well, what's a truth spell then?'

'Verosia,' I answered. Bella and Hilary exchanged glances.

'You cast it, Lily.'

I sighed and awkwardly pulled out my wand, carefully so as not to scratch my nails. I pressed my wand tip to Hilary's forehead.

'Verosia.'

I repeated the action on Bella.

'One of you guys will have to do it to me.'

'OK. I will,' Bella said, taking out her own wand. She held it a fraction away from my forehead so it wasn't touching the paste smeared over my face. 'It's verosia, isn't it?'

'Yep.'

'OK, here goes. Verosia.'

'Right, I'm asking Bella!' I said, grinning. 'Who was your first kiss?'

'Daniel Mantel, fourth grade,' she replied.

'Care to elaborate?' Hilary teased. 'Were you going out?'

'Yeah, but not with him. And the guy I was going out with was my first 'boyfriend', if that's what you can call it with fourth graders.'

'Oh my god,' I laughed. 'I would never cheat on anybody.'

'How do you know?' Hilary asked.

'She has to be telling the truth because of that spell,' Bella pointed out.

'Wow,' Hilary said. 'That's awesome to know, huh, Lils?'

'I guess.'

'Well, I'm asking you a question,' she continued evilly. 'Do you have a crush on James?'

'No,' I answered truthfully.

'Damn,' she said with a laugh. 'But it would really work between you two, I reckon. You hit it off heaps quick, and there's sparks flying when you two are in the same room.'

'We just clicked straight away,' I shrugged. 'Good vibes.'

'So what do you think of James?' Bella asked.

'Ten adjectives,' Hilary added, getting ready to count on her fingers.

'OK. Um, funny, loyal, easy-going, um, hot,' I said, grinning. 'Charismatic, hyper, smart, witty, smooth, and... assertive.'

'Ooh, cracking out the big words, are we?' Bella teased.

'Someone ask me a question,' Hilary demanded.

'Me!' Bella said quickly. 'My turn. Umm... who do you have a crush on?'

Hilary narrowed her eyes.

'That's just mean,' she whined.

'Fess up,' Bella commanded.

By now the whole make over thing had been abandoned and we were all just lounging around on my bed and the floor.

Hilary mumbled something incoherent.

'What was that, Hils? Didn't quite hear it,' I smirked.

'Amos Diggory,' she said quietly.

Bella and I exchanged glances before we burst out laughing.

'You're joking.'

'No!' she said defensively. 'He's hot.'

'I guess,' I said, thinking about it. 'But he's about as far up himself as he can get.'

'People say that about me and James,' Hilary argued.

'Your point?' Bella laughed.

'Yeah - because you are,' I teased.

'Aw, don't worry, Hil. We all wuv woo,' Bella cooed, squishing Hilary into a hug.

I grinned at looked at my watch.

'Listen, guys,' I said, my gaze going to the window, 'I'm just going to go for a walk, OK?'

They both exchanged glances and said nothing. I knew they were mentally debating over whether to come with me. I sat up and pulled the toe separators out and tossed them on the bed, pulling on some socks and sneakers.

'I just need some 'me' time, OK?' Seeing their looks, I added, 'I had fun doing this, thanks. We have to do it again sometime. I'll see you in half an hour or so, alright?'

'Bye,' Bella said, opening her arms for a hug. I gave her one, then hugged Hilary as well.

'Toodles,' I called, walking out the door.

It was cool outside. The snow had melted a couple of weeks or so ago, and there was the odd puddle of mush scattered over the grounds. I buried my hands in my pockets as a great wave of uneasiness swept over me again. I sighed. I just couldn't shake it off.

Steering away from the usual flow of students, I walked in the opposite direction of the lake. Someone was standing on the slope of the hill, fumbling with some items. I recognised him as the rather large man from our first day. I stopped to help him pick up the variety of things he had dropped. He gave me a kindly smile.

'Hullo there. Thanks for that. Yer a first year, aren't yeh?'

I nodded.

'I'm Rubeus 'Agrid. Everyone calls me 'Agrid. Pleased to meet yeh.'

'Lily Evans,' I replied, smiling.

'Yer got time for a cup o' tea?' he asked, scratching his head. 'I don't get visitors very often.'

'Of course,' I said, taking an immediate liking to this Hagrid. I especially loved his roguish accent. 'Are you a teacher?'

'Nah,' he chuckled. 'Game keeper. I'd like ter teach, though.'

I walked with him up to his hut.

'It's not much, but I fancy it more than up at the castle,' he said, standing in the middle of the one-roomed house and looking around.

'I love it,' I said, looking around with awe. Hagrid beamed.

'Would yeh like some tea?'

'Yes please,' I replied, sitting down at the table as he filled the kettle.

'Do you have any animals at all?' I asked.

'O'course!' he said. 'I've got a small little pup named Fang, and he's just new, as a matter of fact. He's probably sleepin' under the bed or summat.'

I stood and walked over to Hagrid's bed and went on my knees, putting the side of my head to the floor to peer under. A small boarhound was curled up underneath.

'He's so cute,' I laughed. 'Though I suppose he'd have a field day with Shadow.'

'Shadow?' Hagrid asked, setting a teapot and two cups on the table. I went back over to sit with him.

'My cat, Storm Shadow.'

'Eh. Never been a cat person m'self, that's Filch's kind o'thing. Got nothin' against them, mind. What I've always wanted is a dragon.'

'A dragon?' I said with wonder. From what I'd read about dragons, they definitely weren't ideal pets.

'A dragon,' Hagrid confirmed, his eyes going dreamy.

'Sirius would probably like a dragon, too,' I laughed, mostly to myself.

'Sirius Black? Oh, barrel of laughs, he is. Him and James Potter. They're quite the double act,' he chuckled.

'You know James and Sirius?' I asked.

'Oh yes. Lost count of the detentions they've had with me,' he said, shaking his head.

'They're good ones, though. No one ever died from a laugh, and there's rotten ones out there worse than them two.'

For a moment, my thoughts drifted to Malfoy, but I ignored them. The numbness in my stomach that had appeared that morning was slowly fading. Hagrid picked up a tin and pulled the lid off.

'Rock cake?' he offered. I accepted one, and bit into it. I almost broke my teeth. I gave a slight forwn before nibbling on the cake instead, which was much more efficient.

'Did you go to Hogwarts, Hagrid?'

Hagrid's eyes flickered to the side, and he seemed to side-step the topic.

'Yeh, a while ago. Not much ter tell, really.'

I didn't ask about it again.

I had a great time chatting to him for the rest of the afternoon, before I looked at my watch and realised I'd been away for two hours. About an hour and a half longer than I said I'd be. I thanked Hagrid, telling him that of course I'd come and visit him again. And before I knew it, I was back outside in the cool air, traipsing up to the castle.

It was late, and I didn't think anyone else was out. But about halfway, I stopped in my tracks and groaned. Malfoy was leaning against a tree, smoking a cigarette. I lowered my head and tried to walk as far around him as I could so as not to be noticed. No such luck.

'Hey, Evans.'

I didn't turn, but kept walking, speeding up.

'Expelliarmus!' The force of the spell hit me in the back and I tripped, falling to the ground. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as Malfoy slowly walked up.

'That wasn't very good manners, Evans. Walking by without saying hello.'

'Leave me alone, Malfoy,' I warned.

He took another puff on his cigarette before dropping it and pressing it into the ground with his foot.

'Or what?' he asked. My hand closed around my wand in my pocket. I knew I could get in serious trouble for using magic against another student, but it was for self defense. He kept approaching, and I backed away, but he was quicker. He shoved me to the ground. My hand flew out, wand pointing at him.

'Back off,' I said.

'I'm so scared,' he said mockingly. That was it. He had asked for it. I said the first spell that came to my head.

'Tarantatem!'

Malfoy doubled over as his legs began moving about uncontrollably. A hand on his stomach to steady himself, he raised his own wand, legs still moving.

'Stupefy!' he shot back.

I was stunned, unable to move properly. The spell I had cast on him wearing off, he smirked with satisfaction.

'Reducto!' The force of it hit me full on in the stomach, and I was knocked to the ground a second time. He aimed for me again, and I regained movement in my limbs just in time to roll out of the way.

'Expelliarmus!' His wand shot out of his hand and I caught it, scrambling to my feet and backing away.

'Protrificus Totalus!' I breathed before he could cast another spell. He stopped, rooted to the spot. I waited as I caught my breath, staring determinedly back into his icy glare.

Straightening, I threw his wand at his feet.

'You can't get rid of me, Malfoy. I'm going to fight back.'

And with that, I continued on my way back up to the castle, proud that I had finally given Malfoy a piece of my mind without James or Sirius coming to save the day.
~*~ AUTHOR'S NOTE ~*~

You'll have to excuse me for taking awhile, I've had it finished I just haven't been on the net to upload.

*sobs*

OK guys, you'll have to ignore me, but I'm a little emotional. I just finished writing the last two chapters of this story, and they're very sad. Don't worry - I'm nowhere near finishing this - I just had a major brainwave and wrote them out - and they made me sad :'( After this story (which is a long way away), in case you were wondering, I'm doing a sort of sequel, which will contain eight chapters, all in a different POV:

The World Through The Eyes Of The Guy Who Started It All: Voldemort's Story

The World Through The Eyes Of A Muggle Born: The Life of Lily Evans

The World Through The Eyes Of A Pure Blood: The Inner Workings of James Potter

The World Through The Eyes Of Someone Not-So-Serious: Sirius's Tale

The World Through The Eyes Of A Werewolf: An Account of Remus Lupin

The World Through The Eyes Of Someone Completely Different: The Diary Of A Seer

The World Through The Eyes Of A Married Couple: Trouble In Paradise

The World Through The Eyes Of A Traitor: The Riddle of The Rat.

It'll be way shorter than this one will be, but it will still be pretty long. And I'm still planning to do a full-length The World Through The Eyes Of A Pure Blood which will be James's Life story, and The World Through The Eyes Of The Boy Who Lived, which will be about Harry in case you didn't guess.

Umm, don't have time for thank yous, but I accidentally didn't post these two from last time, so I'll slip them in and thank the rest of you later, OK?

Here we go:

Amelia Bedelia: Whole James/Paige/Jessica problem soon to become James/Paige/Tara/Lily problem. Yes, that's right. Bye bye to Jessica. But we will see some of her brother. Who will happen to just sort of ask Lily out...

Crystal: Me update soon; me good. Little voices never wrong. Me understand you. Ignore others. They're just jealous that little voices talk to US. Hehe. Me do good so me get powerful title. Me think supreme queen of the universe sound very favourable. Hehe. Me also know that Argus Filch squib. Terrible one at that. What Lily say just rumours about him go to school. Him no go to school. And Mrs Norris just very well aged cat. Ssh. No tell no one. Between you, the voices, and me. Hehe. Me stop talking like this now. MY SUGAR JAR!

This chapter's probably my worst, by the way. I don't like. Well, bye byes for now. I gotta fly.

Toodles!

Lotz-a-luv,

SezZie