How could you leave me? Am I to be left an orphan completely? Even though I only met you again two years ago, in that single moment when I found that I had someone who cared for me as a father, the void left from not knowing my parents started to heal. I knew it would never heal completely, but it was no longer the gaping wound it once was. Now it is twice as deep and twice as wide. You were my father Sirius. Why did you leave me? Was I not up to your expectations as a son? Was I not out going and risk taking as you? I took a risk Sirius, and when I took that risk, I lost you. I don't take risks because when I do people get hurt or die. I now have two deaths on my conscience. Yours and Cedric's. You were my confidant. I could tell you things I couldn't tell Ron and Hermione. I trusted you and this is how you repay me? I'm heartbroken, Remus is heartbroken. Everyone in the Order of the Phoenix is. I daily get letters asking if I'm okay. People pushing their own pain to the side to help me deal with mine. What is it? Help Harry Potter week? I don't want other people making themselves feel better, by trying to help me. It makes me feel worse. Hagrid said you would have wanted to go out fighting. I'd rather you'd never gone at all. After being stuck inside for so long, the urge to go fight was like a moth drawn to a flame and eventually you'd both get hurt. The only reason I exist is to destroy Lord Voldemort. Doesn't anyone think that's a bit too much responsibility for a 15-year-old boy? I needed your support, I needed your love. It's all well and good for people to be telling me you're looking down from where ever you are. And that you're with my parents and that you'll always care about me. I don't want to hear that though. I want to hear your voice. I want you beside me.
I guess if you died fighting for me, I must have been slightly like the son you wanted. If I had used the mirrors though, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have lost my second father.
I'm sorry Sirius. I hope you can forgive me and I grow up into the man you and my father wanted me to be.
Harry slowly stood up and went towards a candle he had lit. He held the edge of the parchment to the flame and watched it turn into ashes.
That's how I feel Sirius. I hope you know that.
He gathered the ashes and blew them out the window
Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust. I love you Sirius
Harry stood back and watched the ashes spin on the breeze. He then turned resolutely and walked away from the window. Then he froze. He swore he just heard something. He went to keep walking and heard it whispered again.
I love you too Harry, and you will always make me and your father proud.
A/N- Okay I don't know if that made much sense to anyone, but it did to me. I've got another story thing I just thought of too so hopefully that will be out soon.
