ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT!
I don't know why I'm bothering… no one seem to read this anyway *sighs mournfully* No reviews! And when I had it up in one piece, there was like, two reviews or something.. All Roz and my hard work for nothing *sniff*
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The corridor was relaxingly damp and dank, a pleasant break from the harsh insanity of the Sprites. Sarah commented on this, but Hoggle just shook his head sadly.
'It gets worse the closer we get to the castle… I'm afraid we haven't seen the least of it yet…'
As if that comment sparked it off, a voice echoed from right beside them, rumbling in a deep bass.
'Row, row, row your boat…'
They swung around, startled. A huge, stony face was caved into the living rock of the wall, and the voice echoed from it. Further ahead, another voice began, as the first voice swung into the second verse.
'What's going on?!' Sarah squealed, wheeling around like a drunken acrobat, trying to look, as more and more voices joined the first two in counter harmonies. The Sprites collapsed, giggling uncontrollably.
'The King's work, I'm afraid…' Hoggle growled. 'The madness is getting worse…' They broke into a run, clearing the corridor of singing stones, and ran into a long, smooth tunnel, that could have once been part of an aqueduct.
'I remember this- this is where Jareth unloosed the cleaner on us last time! Oh Hoggle, were still on track!' She hugged the dwarf. Fizzy Cream wrinkled her nose, and Sour Peppercorn made a gagging noise.
'Oh Hoggle- we're still on track!' Fizzy Cream flattened her hair, and opened her eyes vapidly, assuming a high-pitched, whiny voice. Sour Peppercorn giggled uncontrollably. However, a deep, rumbling noise, drowned her giggles out slowly. Hoggle's eyes went wide, and he made a slight whimpering noise. Sarah squeaked, and the Sprites looked up sharply, no longer laughing.
'Is that the… the…' Sarah whispered, choking on the last word.
'Cleaner' Fizzy Cream hissed. With a brief glance at each other, they bolted down the corridor. A barred gate stood in the way, and a stout door to their side. Sarah began to scream as the noise became louder.
'Didn't this get knocked down last time?' She threw herself at the door.
'They get repaired every two weeks.' Hoggle shouted, throwing himself beside her. The door didn't even budge. Sour Peppercorn increased her size, so that her head touched the ceiling, and threw her weight beside them, Fizzy Cream followed suit. The rumbles were almost deafening, and there was fear in all eyes. The cleaner was upon them. The Sprites shrunk back to their normal size, and curled themselves into tiny, trembling balls, wrapping their fluffy tails about themselves, Sarah screamed louder, and Hoggle tuned to face death. And froze in disbelief.
A rat trundled down the center of the tunnel; an orange strapped to it's back. Close behind, a goblin held a ghetto blaster twice his size over his head, a loud rumbling noise emitted from the speakers. Sarah opened her eyes, and the Sprites looked up, as the sounded passed them. The goblin looked impassively at them.
'Beware of the Cleaner!' He shouted over the din, and continued down the corridor, unlocking the gate to get through, while the rat ran between the bars.
'That- that…. What is going on?!' Sarah screamed in a small hissy fit. Hoggle opened his mouth to explain, but the Sprites had already flashed into action.
Sour Peppercorn, half her hair in its normal boofy shape, the other half, limp, had tucked her tail into the front of her tights, creating a huge bulge. She stood authoritively in front of Fizzy Cream, who hunched over, her face twisted grotesquely.
'But Your Majesty…' Fizzy Cream whined. Sour Peppercorn drew herself taller, and pointed at her sister with an accusing finger.
'You dare defy me? I said the Cleaners you use now are not efficient enough, now do as I have said!!!' She then loped away a bit, cackling insanely. Fizzy Cream continued the charade.
'Whatever his Majesty demands. Ratty, where are you? The King has a job for you. Oh Ratty??' Both Sprites giggled, and Hoggle glared at them.
'Sprites' He spat the word like a curse. Sarah also looked a little shocked.
'Well, are we going to just sit here while the King continues spreading joy? Come on!' Sour Peppercorn snapped, suddenly behind them. The door was gone, and the gaping passage lead to the ladder beyond.
'Where… Never mind.' Sarah sighed.
'Now that's inventive.' Fizzy Cream complimented, looking up at the pot, which they had just fallen out of. It hovered upside down in mid air. 'I'll have to remember that…' Beside it, a rope descended from somewhere high above. So high, the top of the rope was not visible. Hoggle stared at it as if it were a snake. Sarah however, gingerly began to climb.
'Sarah!' Hoggle gave a strangled shout. Sarah looked down at him.
'You never know Hoggle. Things aren't always what they seem in this place.' She climbed higher. Hoggle groaned and began after her, followed by the Sprites, who skittered up with the agility of squirrels.
Sarah stopped, and the Sprites leapt onto her shoulders.
'What's going on?' Sour Peppercorn asked. Sarah looked chagrined at the top of the rope. A stone hand held it in place, a hand that floated with no means of support whatsoever. 'Go on. Grab it, I dare you!' The Sprite urged. Her sister twittered an agreement. Sarah shrugged.
'Why not?' She gingerly plucked the hand from its perch, turning it over and over, while the rope still remained steady. 'It's just a chunk off rock…' She placed it back where it had been. It fell like the chunk of rock it was, taking the rope with it.
They landed in a pile. Hoggle sat up, dusting himself off.
'Don't say I didn't warn you!' He snapped. Fizzy Cream turned to her sister.
'Wait for it….'
There was a whistling sound, and the stone fist, rope and all landed squarely on the dwarf's head. The Sprites collapsed in helpless glee.
Sarah had begun to wander around, looking. The land had changed. With a start, she realized she had been here before. Two wooden doors stood in an overgrown wall, with large, brass doorknockers.
'Look!' Sour Peppercorn yelped, between giggles, 'A pair of knockers!' The two creatures collapsed again, laughing fits redoubled
'Yeah, they're the first we've seen in a long time!' Fizzy Cream retorted, looking in the direction of Sarah's chest.
'But they have no knobs!' Sour Peppercorn added, in a gasp. That did it. Neither Sprite seemed able to move, let alone stand. Sarah glared at them, while Hoggle tried to contain his laughter.
'So Sarah, what do we do?' Hoggle asked her politely, sparing an irritated glare at the hysterical Sprites, still rolling on the ground, tears running from their eyes.
'Knock, and the door shall open…' She recited. With a firm hand, she took the ring of the right hand door, the knocker who held it in his mouth, and slammed it. The door creaked open. With a squeak and a skittering movement, the Sprites followed, suddenly over their giggles, as quickly as they had rendered them immobile.