Of Beatles, Cannibals and Costumes…
The forest beyond the door was dank and dark. Sarah made a face. 'Everyone, hold onto me. I don't want to get split up…'
Suddenly, in front of them, something burst out of the ground, causing leaves to shower everywhere.
'Firey!' Hoggle shouted, but as the leaves began to settle again, they saw they were mistaken.
A large, blue, furry thing stared at them, it's single eye wide. Colours shifted across the surface of the eye, like the rainbow hue of an oil slick. Hoggle stood in front of the ladies, arms outstretched. The thing considered him for a second, then it's face split into a broad grin, twice the size of it's own head.
The Sprites began to snicker. In response to that sudden noise, the thing fell on one side, and began to hoot like a hyena, sending the Sprites into their now familiar fits of laughter. At that noise, the thing leapt into the air, and made a sound akin to a foghorn, then disappeared.
'Hoggle….' Sarah asked, her voice on the very edge of hysteria. Hoggle let his arms drop, eyes wild.
'We're getting closer to the castle' He answered simply.
Onward they trudged, Hoggle frowning and muttering to himself. Finally driven to curiosity, Sour Peppercorn leapt up onto a branch overhead. Sarah squealed, leaping back, frightened by her sudden movement.
'I don't get it.' The Sprite said, frowning. 'Where are the Fireys? They always harass travelers in their territory.' Fizzy Cream leapt up beside her.
'You're right. Where are they?'
'Who cares? They're not here, so let's get a move on!' Hoggle snapped. Suddenly, Sour Peppercorn pointed into the bushes, a grin twitching the corner of her mouth. 'Now I know why we didn't see them before…' She began to laugh, and Fizzy Cream grinned.
'You'd better come out, we know you're there…' She intoned after her sister.
Reluctantly, the bush gave a slight twitch, and a Firey crept out, eyes downcast.
'Are you two crazy?!' Hoggle yelped, ignoring the obvious answer, 'We could have gotten away before…' His berating was cut off as he looked at the mournful creature. It was clad in a mauve tutu, and a frilly yellow bonnet adorned its head. 'Don't tell me. The King…' his voice sounded slightly sick. The Firey just nodded, refusing to look at them. Slowly others, all dressed in peculiar outfits, joined it. One in a paisley suit, another dressed like an Elizabethan lady, an Indian, a 1900's black and white movie villain, complete with moustache and stovepipe hat, and the last in a sequined evening gown. The Sprites hopped down, grinning.
'Maaaaaaaate!' They bellowed together, hands extended like claws. 'Squirrel grip!' They took off towards the downcast creatures, rendering them totally helpless by their greeting.
'Come on!' Hoggle cried, running hand in hand with Sarah, as the Firey's struggled to get to their feet. The Sprites skittered after them, the forest echoed with their odd chattering laugh.
They ran until a high wall blocked their path.
'Oh no.' Sarah moaned. They looked back along the path they had taken. There were no other routes.
Suddenly, some music filtered through the air. The tune was strangely familiar, yet, not distinguishable yet. The music became louder, and slowly words began to form in a strangely Liverpoolian accent.
♪♫ ♪ 'The Magical Mystery tour is coming to take you away…coming to take you away…take you away…' ♫ ♪♫
Suddenly a bus burst through the trees, music seeming to blare from its very presence. The bus roared past them. Four men with strange, fringed haircuts waved to them from the window. The Sprites waved enthusiastically back. Hoggle and Sarah just stared.
'Hey wow! The path is free again!' Fizzy Cream crowed. They looked ahead, and lo, she was right. The wall had disappeared, and now a stone path lead to a deep chasm, spanned by a rickety bridge. At the end of the bridge, another one of the rope's they had encountered hung from mid air. With a gleeful yelp, the two Sprites scampered onto the bridge, tails swishing.
Hoggle made a strangled sound, and made after them, pausing at his fifth stride, realizing what he was doing, and how awfully the bridge creaked. He swallowed hard, and slowly crept further, carefully. Sarah alighted behind him, stepping slowly.
'Cinnamon doughnut!!' The cry was loud enough to dislodge several pebbles from the side of the chasm, sending them rattling towards the floor, several miles below.
They all looked up to the one who had given the cry. Jareth stood, sticking out from the wall at a right angle; his hair was done suspiciously like Elvis, and he wore a rubber duck strapped to his torso.
'Ah- Your Majesty' Hoggle cried in a shuddering voice.
'Daddoo!' The Sprites howled gleefully, scampering around in circles, singing the word over and over again.
'Ah! I see you are more then just a pineapple string!' The King announced, hands on hips. 'And thy inches are like pewter on a glass veranda. I shall not poke!' He announced this last proclamation like a clap of doom. If it hadn't been pure gibberish, the company would be shuddering. Well, two were at least. The Sprites convulsed in laughter.
'I see it all now, for I am blind as a peacock. You are trying to wash my undefended finance! What shall I do with such kindred horoscopes? Maybe the tar of glib and liable red heads? No! I know! Once you have seen the end of the wooden sweater, you will meet things that resemble busts of kindergarten makeup! Begone!' With that, he disappeared again.
They all almost ran for the other side of the bridge. Sarah grabbed the rope.
'I don't care what you say Hoggle, we got further by climbing the other rope last time!' She put her weight on the rope. A loud snort sounded, and the flagstone underneath them opened up, sending them tumbling down a tunnel. Sarah and Hoggle screamed, the Sprites whooped with glee.
They landed into a vat of water, with chopped carrots floating in it.
'What is this?' Sarah whined. She seemed to do that a lot.
Hoggle paddled desperately toward the side, then jerked back with an oath. Looming above was a giant cannibal, licking his lips. They looked around, and noted that they were surrounded.
'This is not good.' Fizzy Cream noted in a dry understatement. Suddenly, another cannibal pushed his way in, wearing a huge feather hat.
'Flotsam?' He asked. The cannibals around the pot cheered, and formed a conga line. The pot began to drain as the cannibals danced away, and the four were sucked down the plughole in the bottom.