The wind picked up as she walked slowly away from the cemetery. Light rain fell upon her unsheltered head. She was one of the first to leave, she did not see the stares from the other mourners as she passed by. She had shut herself down emotionally to deal with this day. Her daughter laid not far away, her best friend freshly laid to rest and her husband was gone. She could not let herself think of everything, or she would crumble. This day found her to be much as she was at the end of the war, numb. Somehow she had managed to climb into her carriage and to her home. The massive structure held no warmth as she entered. Memories flooded her as she let her shell crack for a moment. Shaking the thoughts away, she allowed the servants to take her coat. She made her way to the library and shut the door, telling the servants she wished to be alone. Slowly and methodically she went to the cabinet and retrieved the only relief she could think of, brandy. Not bothering with a glass, she removed the stopper and tipped back the crystal decanter, allowing the strong liquor to sooth her troubled mind and soul. Soon the effects were showing their tell tale signs. Warmth filled her veins as her nerves calmed. Alone she sat in her mansion, she all the money she could ever want for, but alone she would be. Her eldest children were at her home in Clayton County, her youngest in the cemetery and her husband, God knows where. A sarcastic smile crossed her face as she thought of this "Wouldn't the almighty Rhett Butler laugh to see me like this" her voice was raspy. A cough caught her off guard. She shivered slightly, took another drink, letting the brandy warm her again. She set the decanter down on a small table next to a chair. Slowly she walked to the fireplace, letting the warmth of them flames try to warm her cold body and soul. This is how Mammy found her, staring into the roaring fire, her eyes glassed over from the brandy.

Mammy's kind voice brought Scarlett back to the present "My lamb yous soaked through. We gotta get them wet clothes off."

Scarlett turned to her dear Mammy and shook her head yes. She followed Mammy in silence upstairs to her room. Being in her bedroom brought back more horrible memories of locking Rhett out. She shook her head again to rid the thoughts. They went through the mechanical motions of changing her clothes and soon Mammy had Scarlett tucked into bed. The old woman shook her head in sadness at her young miss, she seemed so lost, so quiet.

Scarlett laid in her bed. Sleep did not come, but a hunger for something to numb her did. She knew where the decanter sat, so she waited until she was sure all in the household were asleep. Some time later she quietly made her way back to the library. She curled up in the chair and allowed herself the pleasure of brandy.

Mammy found her the next morning, passed out in the chair.

This is how the next few weeks of her life were spent. During the day she managed to pass as presentable, but at night she took to the bottle to push away the guilt and pain that was eating at her soul. Mammy cleaned her up and tried to help her, but soon knew it was only a matter of time until her lamb pushed herself over the edge.

One morning, almost a month after Rhett had left and Melanie was laid to rest, Mammy had taken all she could from Scarlett "Miss Scarlett" she said in a stern voice as she watched Scarlett add brandy to her coffee.

"Yes Mammy" Scarlett answered in a subdued voice.

"Miss Scarlett, I knows it ain't none of my business hows you spend yours time, but what would your dear Mother and Father think if they saw you now?" Mammy's voice was quite stern and forceful as she questioned her Mistress.

Scarlett did not know what to think as the words of the older woman sunk in. She stood, without speaking, and walked across the room to a mirror. What met her in the mirror made her visibly step back. Gone was the youthful face and sparkling green eyes. Her cheeks were shallow and sunken. Under her eyes were dark rings, caused from the excessive drinking and late nights. She looked down and for the first time noticed how much weight she had lost. She looked back again to the mirror at the pale half dead woman staring back at her "Oh Dear God what have I done to myself" she fell to her knees and let the emotions burst forth. Tears that she had held at bay flowed. Her body racked in tears as Mammy held her "Now hush my lamb" she soothed her favorite child "Mammy is here and all will be right."

Through her sobs and coughs came the fears and guilt that she carried "But their all gone" she choked "Ma…Pa….my precious baby Bonnie" she broke down further after saying Bonne's name "Melanie…and now…and now Rhett has left me for good" She clung to the older woman with what little strength she had left.

Mammy held her closer "Now Miss Scarlett" she began as though she was talking to a twelve year old Scarlett who had lost her favorite doll "You still have Wade and Miss Ella" Scarlett pulled back and looked deep into Mammy's brown eyes "And I knows Mr. Rhett will come back child" Mammy saw the confusion in her young mistress's eyes "He loves you so much child, more than I have ever seen a man love a woman in all my years on this earth." Mammy gently cupped her chin "Now I want to see you straighten up and take care of yourself and yours children" she paused "they still need their mother."

It was the first time in a long time that Scarlett had let herself completely breakdown, but she found that after her talk with Mammy, there might be hope for her future. She might not have Rhett, but she did have Wade and Ella, if they still wanted her, and that gave her enough for now. She wrote Sullen to send her children home as soon as possible and to have Pansy come back with them. As she finished the letter and sealed the envelope she looked around her study. The dark colors seemed to suck the life and light from the room, and anyone in it. "Well if I am to start again, perhaps I should rethink my decorating" she said to herself as she let herself smile, something she was doing a little more and more as each day passed. She now realized that her breakdown had been for the best, she had to hit rock bottom, or close to it, so that she could start anew.

She was keeping her promise to Melanie, taking care of Ashley and Beau, but she did it from a distance. She set up a trust for Beau, so that he could attend college and start life out on the right foot, and as for Ashley, she stayed away from the mills and had the books brought to her house twice a week, where she went over the accounts. Ashley would never be a business man, but she couldn't let him fall now that he too was alone. She found that she thought of him as a brother now, and had only wished that this realization had only came sooner. But then she would not allow herself to fall into that pit or what ifs. She had had all the liquor removed from the house and promised herself never to fall into the bottle again.

She had tried several times to write Rhett, but the words wouldn't come and she wasn't sure if she knew for sure where he was or if he even cared to hear from her.

Wade and Ella returned home two weeks later to a different house. As they entered the house they found all the dark gloomy colors gone and replace by pastels and welcoming coloring. Gone was the think red carpet, now in it's place laid the hardwood floors polished and gleaming. The grand stair case had too been stripped of the dark color and replaced with a lighter shade. The children and Pansy stood in awe at the change over the house, light steamed through the windows. "Oh my" gasped Ella at the change.

Scarlett heard the front door and ran to meet her children. She stood atop the stairs watching them take in the changes "Welcome home children" she said in a light voice with a smile. She descended the stairs "Well what do you think?" she asked.

Wade was the first to speak "Oh Mother, it is so nice" his voice still filled with astonishment.

Scarlett ran the last few steps to them and hugged them tightly "I missed you two so much" she whispered "I love you" she continued as tears began to form. She let go and backed away from them, taking in their confused looks "I am going to be a different mother to both of you from now on" she paused to catch her breath "I know I haven't been the best of mothers but I promise to try harder, if you let me" she held her breath as she awaited their answers.

Ella was the first to respond "Oh Mother of course" she cried as she threw herself at Scarlett "I love you to Mother" she continued as Scarlett held her close.

Scarlett looked up to Wade, who up to this point remained silent. He was trying to grasp this change in his Mother. She never cried and rarely smiled. What ever had happened to her had changed her dramatically. Finding his voice he finally answered "Mother you don't have to ask for a second chance" he paused as he met her stare head on "You have always had my love."

Scarlett pulled him to her and Ella and shared another hug. The happy family reunion came to a short end as someone opened the front door. Scarlett looked up, her face covered in tears, her hair out of place, her eyes bright and a smile on her face to meet the cold stare of Rhett "Well well what do we have here" he asked in a sarcastic tone as he set down his small suitcase. His eyes left Scarlett as they traveled about the house taking in the changes. His mind raced "What the devil is she up to now?" as he returned his gaze to his wife engaged in a very rare hug with her children. The look on Scarlett's face startled him at first, though he did not show it outwardly, she had a look of honest happiness. His thoughts were interrupted as Ella ripped herself away from Scarlett and flung herself at him "Uncle Rhett" she yelled as he picked her up and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "Well a hello to you to Ella" he said in a light tone as he set her down. He turned to Wade "Hello Wade my boy and how are you?"

"Uncle Rhett" he said in an excited voice as he too left Scarlett's embrace "I have missed you" as he received a hug from Rhett. When Rhett again looked up he noticed that Scarlett had left the room.