Hiya everyone, sorry I haven't been writing for awhile, but I've been working on some other shit. So anyway, I've gotten a few reviews and I guess you all think this is like knee slapping hilarious. Well, let's get serious for a minute. These stories I write really do hurt many viewers. Recent accidents such as these have occurred; sore throat syndrome, dried eyes, implosion, choking on laughter, insides bursting, or even an occasional hit their head on the keyboard too hard from laughter and went into a coma........I have caused so many to die from reading this. I feel kind of guilty.



What the hell am I saying!? LOL!! I'd laugh if someone had a heart attack from this......(no I really would). See how mean I am! Oh well, keep reading all you boys and girls!! Oh yes, and don't ask about the title until you finish reading, it really has nothing to do with that fat blob.



Barney Sucks!!!: Chp. 4:



***T.V. cameras swivel to the Jeopardy stage****



Alex appears to be clearing his throat next to a tied up Jerry. Jerry mumbles under the leather strap on his mouth. Alex kicks him, "Welcome back ladies and gents!!"

(Audience mumbles something like "When the hell is this game going to end?"

Seto, Yugi, and Mai are back in their places. Each one has a very large amount of bruises and cuts. Marik, Joey, and Weevil seem to be no where in site.

Alex smiles, "Finally we can get this show on the road with no more distractions. All right contestants. Whose turn is it?"

Yugi shrugs, "Uh....I think it's Mai's turn."

Seto rolls his eyes, "You think to much runt. It's your turn dumbass!"

Mai appears to be crying over a chipped nail, "NOOOO!!! MY NAIL!!!" She turns angrily facing Seto and Yugi. They both jump back looking a tad nervous. "WHO CHIPPED MY FUCKING NAIL!!!!!" Both Seto and Yugi gulp.

"Uh...he did." Yugi says pointing at Seto.

Seto looks appalled, "NO.....it was all Yugi!!!"

Mai fumes, "WHEN I CATCH WHOEVER CHIPPED MY NAIL!!! OH THEY HAD BEST BE RUNNING!"

Alex clears his throat, "Okay Mai, no overreacting. It's just a nail."

Mai's eye twitches and she turns on Alex, "What did you just say!? These nails were like five billion dollars." She suddenly gives Alex an evil eye, "It was you, wasn't it!?

"What!?" Alex backs up against the wall, "Nooooo.....it wasn't me......"

Mai crosses her arms, but is silent. Alex sighs, "Feh, forget this, let's just move on to the final round!!!"

*****Audience finally lets out a sigh of relief******

"Now, what I need each of you to do is to bet any amount of money. Seeing as how none of you guys have money just bet whatever amount you want." Alex shakes his head. "Okay, get your boards ready everyone!!"

Mai, Seto, and Yugi pull out slates with a black marker.

"Now, write down how much you're willing to sacrifice, even though you can only really gain something. Now, the question is. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck would chuck wood?" Alex says calmly.

******The dumbass Jeopardy music play*********

Yugi stares in disbelief and begins to write. Mai shrugs and writes at the same time. Seto also starts writing after giving Alex a weird look.

After a few seconds Alex walks over and takes the boards. "Let's see. Well, this shouldn't be hard since you all started writing the second Yugi started writing."

The three contestants turn red.

"We'll start with Seto's answers since he was the last one done. Hmmm......and his answer was: How the mother fucking hell should I know how much wood a damn wood chuck would chuck!!!!!!!!" Alex shakes his head disappointed, "I'm sorry, but that answer is WRONG!!!! You have wagered 1 million dollars and so that brings you down a bit. Doesn't it Seto?"

Seto gives Yugi an angry look. Yugi blushes.

"Now, let's move on to Mai's answer." Alex clears his throat, "How the mother fucking hell should I know how much wood a damn wood chuck would chuck!!!!!!!! Nope, I'm sorry, once again that is the wrong answer. You wagered ten lipsticks??? What!? You can't do that?"

After smacking Yugi on the head Mai looks at Alex. She applies some lipstick on her lips, "Alex deary, I ran out after I chucked all my cosmetics in the last chapter."

Alex sighs, "Well, you are in the minus area none-the-less. And you're now minus ten lipsticks." Alex walks over and steals Mai's lipstick, "This belongs to me now."

Mai looks shocked and horrified, "NOOO!!! That's my last one!!" She gives Yugi the dirtiest look and then hits him a few times over the head.

Alex now rolls his eyes, "Should I even read Yugi's answer? What the hell, might as well. And Yugi's answer is: How the mother fucking hell should I know how much wood a damn wood chuck would chuck!!!!!!!! Why am I not surprised? This is the sorriest Jeopardy game I've ever witnessed. There will no winner, no money given out, no constellation prizes. Someone get my security and get these bums out of here!!!!!!!"

At this the gang of contestants get really angry. Yugi fumes, "WHAT!? We didn't even want to be here!!!!"

Mai nods, "YOU STOLE ALL MY LIPSTICK!!"

"Yea, you stupid bastard, I want my money!!!!" Seto yells.

Alex looks behind him, "SECURITY!!!!"

"OH THAT'S IT," Yugi screams, "GET HIM!!!!" Seto, Mai, and Yugi charge. Each one tackles Alex to the ground. The bodyguards try and rescue Alex, but Marik, Weevil, and Joey show up. They smack the body guards away and also tackle Alex. The crowd begins to cheer and chant. Seto gets out of the frenzied dog pile and makes his way over to the microphone. He straightens out his jacket and fixes his hair.

~~~~~~Camera zooms in on Seto~~~~~~

Seto appears to be looking around him and sees a black suitcase. He grins and grabs it. Looking at the wild dog pile beating up on Alex he laughs, "HAHAHA, SUCKERS!! I've got the MONEY!!!"

The group stops short. Yugi's fist stops in mid-punch, "Everyone!!! GET SETO!!! He's got our money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone stands up pushing and shoving the person next to them. Seto yelps and races out of the back door. The group chases after him.

*******Cameras swivel to Alex on the ground who doesn't show any movement*****

Alex's bodyguards move swiftly to Alex's side and then they look at the audience in shock, "He's dead!!!"

A bodyguard gets up and waves a hand in front of the camera, "Go to another show!!!!"

####################FRY######################CRACKLE##########



Hello children!! Welcome to the wonderful world of Barney!!!!!

A big fat purple dinosaur walks out onto stage, "Hiya everybody!! How are my prisoners today!!"

****Camera changes to a tree where little kids are chained to******

Fatass goes over to tree, "Isn't this wonderful kids!! It's so magical!!"

The kids shiver and look at the fat gluttonous blob of purple in fear.

"Let's sing our song now!!!" The kids faces turn to pure panic.

"I love you, you love me, we're a great big family!!!!" He suddenly turns as he notices the cameras are on, "What the hell are you doing!!!!!????

Me behind the camera blinks, "They said to go to a different show?"

The blob gets mad, "This isn't supposed to be on T.V. My career is ruined!!!!!!!!!!" Barney throws a tire at me, but I dodge quickly. "What will I do? This is all your fault Kirsten!!!"

Me looks shocked, "WHAT!? I'm not Kirsten, I'm Sefi!"

Fat blob looks at me menacingly, "We all know your real name is Kirsten!! Admit it!!!"

I fall to the ground crying, "Oh it's true. The horror!!!!!"

Barney laughs, "Prepare to die!!!!"

I get up quickly, "AHHHH......RUN!!!!" I begin to run away. Barney chases me in angry rage. "Get away you blob!!"

Barney pulls out a swiss army knife, "HEHEHE!!! NEVER!!!"

He chucks it at me but misses. I pick it up and turn. Blob of purple halts in front of me and I laugh sinisterly.

Barney looks scared, "You're not seriously going to kill me. Are you? Remember the song? I love you, you love me?"

"Uh-huh," I shrug, "I never liked that song." I take up the knife and stab it through his costume, but he doesn't die. "This thing is thick!"

Barney shrugs, "Yea, I know. It'll take you awhile. Here, I'll sit down for you. Just take your time." He sits and I begin to stab. ^^5 hours later^^ It is done and the blob is dead.

I laugh menacingly, "My work is done!!" Picks up camera and looks into it, "What are you looking at?"

********Camera dies*********



Well, how did you like? Yeah, kind of long and weird and stupid. But what the hell, it was a classic *winks* anywho, I dunno if I'll continue, probably will. But you know. I have to go watch Inuyasha now, so buh bye!!!