The Adventures of the Magical Donut and Abraham Lincoln

Notes:  It's 1:29 PM this time.  PM.  4th of July.  Brightness…sun…day…  Sitting here.  With lovely thoughts of Tohma and Ryu-chan crossing my head, I write this.  No Tohma and Ryu-chan.  It's Tatsuha and Ryuuichi, though I don't know why, since I hate that couple.  Well, I don't hate that couple…I just don't like it that much…  Ah well, does it matter?

Disclaimer:  No.

Warnings:  Shounen-ai, and lots more blinking.  Fragments too.  And maybe swearing.

With thanks for Spiwolf7 for helping me with my horribly awfully bad writer's block.  And 'Aniki' means 'Brother' (for the idiot peering over my shoulder as I type this…).  Just after I thank her too…

Chapter 2

Ryuuichi looked at the pink flowers.  He bent over a sniffed them.  They smelled nice.  Like candy.  He wanted to pick them, but then he remembered back to when Tohma said not to pick flowers because it killed them.  Tohma said that he forgave Ryu-chan, though, even though he picked Mika's entire garden.  Ryuuichi never found out if Mika-san forgave him or not, though.

"Ne, Kumagorou," Ryuuichi said to his bunny.  He looked at the pink flower, and then held Kumagorou up so it could smell it too.  "It smells good, huh?"

Ryuuichi looked at Kumagorou, then he reached out and stroked the flower.  It was soft.  "Ne, Kumagorou," he said to his bunny, "you think maybe we can pick it just this once, even though Tohma said not to, so we can give it to Yuki-san to thank him for letting us live with him?"

He watched Kumagorou as the pink rabbit gave its reply.

"You're right.  Just this once will be okay," Ryuuichi said.  He looked at all the pretty flowers, trying to decide which one was the prettiest, then decided on the one he had been smelling originally.  That one was special.

Placing his hand at the base of the stem, he gently tore the flower off, trying to cause it as little pain as possible.  He let Kumagorou sniff it again, then turned around to Yuki-san to give it to him.  But then he realized that Yuki wasn't there.  Hmm, that was strange; he had thought that Yuki followed him out of the apartment.  Oh well.  Ryuuichi gently tucked the flower safely away in his coat pocket for safekeeping, and then he waltzed away, hugging Kumagorou while humming some unrecognizable tune.

Yuki glanced to the left.  Then he glanced to the right.  Then to the left again.  Then to the right.  Left.  Right.  Left.  Right……….

Arrrgghhh!  (sigh of frustration).  Where did that little Shuuichi-look-alike go?  He had probably already run across the street and was hit by a car.  Yeah, that would make things easier.  Oh, but he could just imagine Tohma's face when he found out his precious rock star was dead.  Shudder.

Speaking of Tohma, Yuki could have sworn he just heard the said man call his name.

"Eiri-san?"  Oh, sure enough, there he stood in his usual five-layers-of-clothing fashion.  I wish I were as stylish as Tohma.

Yuki nearly jumped into the street.  "Wha—Where'd you come from?  Are you, like, following me or something?"

Tohma blinked, but he didn't answer.  "Where's Ryuuichi?"

"SHUT UP!  It's not my fault, okay?!?!" Yuki cried, tearing down the street, leaving a confubled Tohma behind.

Yuki swung around the corner of a random office building to find himself rolling on top of a familiar pink-haired idiot.  Shuuichi.

"Yu-Yuki?" Shuuichi asked, blinking at Yuki as if he (Shuuichi) had just been touched by an angel.  Which, in his screwed up mind, he probably thought he had been.

"Shuuichi?" Yuki asked, cursing himself for getting all floaty (in reference to CCS) at the sight of his lovey-dovey, cute, little, pink-haired, purple-eyed, big-mouthed fluffball.  Oooh, Shuuichi….

Blink, blink.  Blink.

"Quit blinking, idiot!" Yuki shouted, swatting Shuuichi on the head.  "It reminds me too much of that other idiot."

"What other idiot?"

Now, what was his name?  "Ryuuichi…"

"Eh?  You know Sakuma-san?" Shuuichi cried, flinging his arms around Yuki's neck for some random Shuuichi reason.  "Wow, me too!"

"Have you seen him anywhere?" Yuki asked hopefully as he attempted to pry Shuuichi from around his neck.

Shuuichi let go.  "Why do you want to know?  Yu-Yuki, are you…are you…. areyouhavinganaffairwithSakuma-san……?   I knew it!  I knew the whole time!  You only put up with me because I look like him, huh?  You're really in love with him!  Aren't you?  Aren't you?  Huh?  Huh?"

"Shut up, idiot," Yuki said, fumbling through his pockets for a cigarette.  It was then he remembered that he didn't know where they were.  "I hate that stupid singer more than I hate you."

Shuuichi's eyes filled with gleeful tears.  "Yu-Yuuuukkkkkiiiiiii!!!  I love you!!!!!!!"

Yuki felt the arms around his neck again.  "Get off me, idiot, I have to find him now."

"Eh?  Why?"

"Because I told Tohma I would."

"Why?"

"Because I'm the one who lost him in the first place."

"Why?"

"Uh, well…"

"NAAAAA, YUKIIIIII, YOU ARE CHEATING ON ME!!!!!  AREN'T YOU, AREN'T YOUUUUUUU?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

"I said no, idiot!" Yuki yelled, rising to his feet and dragging Shuuichi up with him.  "Apparently, he's living with us now."

"Eh?  Really?  Sakuma-san's living with us?" Shuuichi asked, blinking his purple orbs.  He then began to turn all puddly and float around.  "Ooooooh, my dream has come truuuueeeeee…"

Yuki fished him out of the air.  "Tell me where he is!"

"I don't know!" Shuuichi cried.  He actually cried, with tears and everything.

"Quit crying," Yuki muttered and resisted the urge to search for another cigarette.  "Do you know where he might be?"

"No."

"Well, come on, we have to find him before Tohma comes."  With that, he dragged his little pink-haired lovepup to his feet and down the street.

Ryuuichi's mouth was watering.  He was looking at those scrumptious little chocolate things, and he really liked chocolate, so he wanted some, but he didn't have any money.  Hmm, Yuki never answered his question as to whether or not they had chocolate milk.  He would still like some now, though.

Ryuuichi decided it was time to go back.  Uh, to Yuki's apartment.  Maybe Shuuichi would be there now.  Yeah, that'd be so much fun, if Shuuichi was there, 'cause then they could play with Kumagorou and have a whole lots of fun.  A whole lots.

Ryuuichi looked up at the street sign.  112th Street.  Ryuuichi thought back.  He remembered all the streets in Tokyo were numbered, but he liked it better in America because they had actual names that he could remember better and he didn't get lost as much, and then he wasn't late and K wouldn't hold a gun to his head.  But the streets were numbered here, and Ryuuichi couldn't remember if the even ones ran east or west.

Suddenly Ryuuichi began wishing Tohma were there.  Whenever he was lost, Tohma was there.  Sigh, now he was lost and Tohma wasn't there.  Ryuuichi wondered what he was doing so that he couldn't come to Ryu-chan's rescue.  Maybe he was with Eiri-san.  Ryuuichi wasn't too sure who Eiri-san was, but Tohma always talked about him, so Ryuuichi figured that that's where he was.  Yup, he was sure of it.

"Eh?  Wait a sec, are you—" said a voice.  At first, Ryuuichi thought it was Kumagorou, 'cause it kinda sounded like him, but then he realized that it was coming from the black-haired person kneeling on the ground next to his feet.

"Uh-oh, did you fall?" Ryuuichi asked, bending over so he could see the boy's lowered face.

"I-I have met God, and he asked if I fell?" the boy said.  He lifted his head so that Ryuuichi could see his eyes, and—

"YUUUKIIII!  I found you!" Ryuuichi cried as he glomped the black-haired boy, whom immediately passed out.  Ryuuichi looked at the limp body in his arms.  "Oh?  I wonder if he was sleepy, Kumagorou.  That's weird; usually people don't fall asleep in the middle of the street.  Funny Yuki!"

Hmm…

Ryuuichi stared at the boy.  His hair was black.  When did Yuki dye his hair?  And why was he sleeping?  Ryuuichi poked his cheek.

Hmm…

Poke, pokepokepokepokepoke…

Hmm…

"Yuuukiii?  What's wrong, Yuki?  Yuki?" Ryuuichi whined, tears welling in his eyes.  "YUKI'S DEAD, AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!!!!"

"Eh?  But you have no faults, my sweet…" Yuki muttered as he turned in his sleep.  Ryuuichi wiped a tear away from his eyes and began to shake Yuki in hopes of waking him.

"YukiYukiYukiYukiYukiYukiYukiYuki—"

"Shuuichi?  Is that you?" Yuki asked, opening his eyes slightly.  "But I'm not even pretending to be Eiri this time…  Why have you—"  Blink.  "SAKUMA-SAN?"

"Yuki?  Are you okay?  I'm so sorry!" Ryuuichi cried, hiding his face in Yuki's shoulder.  Yuki seemed to really like this gesture, as he seemed to grip Ryuuichi's shoulders and pull his face closer.

"Yuki?  I'm not Yuki…"

"WAAAH!  Yuki, you've got amnesia!!!"

Yuki smiled innocently.  "No, I'm not Yuki.  Yuki's my older brother, you see…"

"Oh," Ryuuichi said, and then dropped Yuki's little brother onto the pavement.  "Sorry."

"Wait!" Yuki's little brother shouted, and Ryuuichi looked down at him.  "I can…take you to my brother, or something, because I, uh, I know where he lives."

"Oh, me too!  I live there now too," Ryuuichi said with a satisfied grin on his face.

"You're living with my brother?  After I already claimed you as mine?  WHAT HAPPENED TO SHUUICHI, ANIKI?"

"Shuuichi lives there too," Ryuuichi said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Sakuma-san, that's disgusting.  I can't believe that you, the god of all gods, would take part in something like that."

Blink, blink.  "Like what?"

"You know, that."

Blink.  Blink, blink.  "What?"

"That."

"What?"  Blink.

"That."

"What?"  Blink, blink, blink, blink.

"Well, uh, then I guess you don't…  I just can't believe Aniki didn't tell me he was living with a god," Yuki's little brother said.

"There's a god there?"

"You're God, Sakuma-san," Yuki's little brother said, giving Ryuuichi a look that glinted in the sunlight.  He had shiny eyes.  Ryu-chan liked shiny things.  He liked to touch them, so he reached out for Yuki's little brother, but when the latter backed away nervously, Ryuuichi remembered that Tohma had told him not to touch strangers because most strangers didn't like to be touched.

But if strangers don't like to be touched, Ryuuichi couldn't figure out for the life of him why Yuki's little brother did what he did next.  He reached out and pulled Ryuuichi down on the pavement next to him and forced his lips onto Ryuuichi's.  Ryuuichi squeaked in surprise and tried to get away, but Yuki's little brother was stronger than him and he couldn't.

"You frickin' pedophile!" Yuki shouted.  Yuki's little brother let Ryuuichi go, and the latter whimpered and backed away quickly.

"No, Aniki, I was the one who kissed him!" Yuki's little brother said.

"I was talking to you," Yuki said, pointing his finger at his little brother.

"Gosh, Tatsuha, I didn't know you felt that way about Ryuuichi," Shuuichi said, seeming to pop out of nowhere, just like Yuki had.

"Like it wasn't obvious—hey!" Yuki cried, glaring at Ryuuichi, whom had just latched onto Shuuichi and was wiping his tears on his shoulder.

"Shu-chan, he was being mean!" Ryuuichi cried.  Shuuichi lifted his hand and stroked Ryuuichi's hair soothingly, causing Yuki to lift a suspicious eyebrow.  Ryuuichi raised his head and stared at Shuuichi, and Shuuichi stared back silently.  They looked like they were about to kiss, so Yuki intervened by dragging Ryuuichi off by his collar.

"You idiot, why did you leave?" Yuki said irritably to the dangling Ryuuichi, who was too short so his feet didn't reach the ground.

"I thought you were right behind me!"

"Idiot."  No use arguing with an idiot.  Yuki turned to his little brother.  "And why are you here?"

Tatsuha smiled and held up his hands innocently.  "To see you, dear Aniki, and little Shuuichi too.  And—" he glanced over at Ryuuichi.

"Tch," Yuki grumbled.  He walked over to his brother, giving him the death glare.

"U-uh, Aniki, what…  Why—How could you look at your own brother like that?"

"If we didn't look exactly alike, I'd swear you're adopted," Yuki muttered.  It was then he remembered Ryuuichi, and turned around to grab the little square pumpkin before he disappeared again, but he was too late.  Ryuuichi was gone.  "SHUUICHI, WHERE DID YOUR TWIN GO?!?!"

Shuuichi 'eep-ed' and bounced out of his daze, in which he was staring at Yuki like he was some sort of angelic deity that had come to screw him to death and then take him up to rock star heaven.

"Uh, I thought you were watching him," Shuuichi cried.  And he actually cried, with tears and all.

Yuki growled, and then marched off without a word.  He couldn't believe he'd ever agreed to this, not that he did actually agree, but I'm sure if he really tried to refuse persistently, Tohma wouldn't have been able to force Ryuuichi upon him…  Uh, that sounds bad.

Anyway, he stormed off, with Shuuichi running behind him, crying out about how sorry he was, and Tatsuha slinking off into the darkness with his own plan in mind.

Ryuuichi's mouth was watering.  Again.  He stared at those little chocolate things.  This time, he could read the sign though, since it was in simple kana, and no kanji.  "Donuts."  That's what it said.  They looked tasty.  Yum.  Donuts.

This glass was so clean.  Ryuuichi wondered how they got it so clean, because he had run into it earlier thinking it wasn't there at all.  It looked almost like he could reach those donuts with his tongue.  Yeah, it sure looked like it.  In fact, he was sure he could.  Yeah.  So he stuck out his tongue, and leaned closer, and closer, and closer, until his tongue hit the glass.  It was hard and cold and tasted like glass cleaner.  Why he knows what that tastes like is beyond me, but he is Ryuuichi, after all.  Ryuuichi groaned and leaned back and scratched his head.  He wasn't expecting the donut to taste like that.

Suddenly, the door to the donut shop swung open and a very stocky Japanese man hopped out.

"You stupid asshole!" the man cried, pointing a finger at Ryuuichi.  Ryuuichi looked around to see who the man was talking to, then when no one was around he realized that it must be him.  He blinked and pointed to himself innocently.

"Phwee?"

"Yeah, you!" the baker shouted.  "I'm sick of you licking my windows.  This is the fourth time.  If I have to clean that window of your spit one more time…"

But Ryuuichi wasn't listening.  He saw a donut.  But this donut was strange.  It floated.  What a strange donut.  Ryuuichi wondered if this one was special, and didn't taste like glass cleaner.  It was so intriguing that he followed it when it began to fly away.

"Where the hell did that stupid-head go?" Yuki cried.  Shuuichi blinked at him.

"Yuki, did you just say, 'stupid-head?'" Shuuichi asked.  Yuki almost fell over.  Had he?  Dammit, that stupid-head was making him lose his coolness.

"No, idiot.  Why would I say something so dumb?" Yuki replied, crossing his arms over his chest.  "And what happened to Tatsuha?"

"Eh?  Oh, yeah, I forgot about him," Shuuichi said, placing his finger on his chin.  "Wonder where he is…"

Yuki sighed.  "Where do we go now?"

"I don't know."

"Where would you be right now if you suddenly disappeared and were lost on the streets of Tokyo?" Yuki asked.

"Why?"

"Because you and he are both idiots," Yuki said slowly, so Shuuichi could understand.  "And idiots think alike."

"Oh," Shuuichi said.  So, he thought, Yuki would go wherever he told him to…  Yeah, wherever.  Shuuichi could use this opportunity to his advantage.  It was like a date, and Yuki was actually paying attention to him.  Ryuuichi, being a full 31-years-old could take care of himself, Shuuichi decided.  "Thank you, Sakuma-san," Shuuichi muttered under his breath, then turned to Yuki.  "I know.  He must be at…the donut shop!" Shuuichi cried.  He'd love to go to the donut shop to have to have a nice, chocolate donut all alone with Yuki.

The donut was flying pretty fast, and Ryuuichi had to walk briskly to keep up.  He thought it would fly over the ocean, and that would be bad because Ryuuichi couldn't swim, nor could he fly (he found that out the hard way, Tohma had been really mad after that hospital bill came in), but he really really really wanted a taste of that donut.

While he was thinking about all this, though, the donut stopped, and Ryuuichi almost tripped over his foot trying to stop evenly with it.  Then it changed directions, so Ryuuichi followed it again.  It seemed to get darker, for some reason, but then the donut stopped again, so Ryuuichi didn't have time to think about it.  He happily reached out and to his delight, the donut stayed where it was and allowed him to clasp onto it with both his hands.  Ryuuichi giggled happily as he took a bite out of it.  It didn't taste like glass cleaner like those other donuts.  He was right; it tasted like chocolate donut.

It tasted so good that he took another bite.  He felt sorry about eating something so magical, but it just tasted so good.  So he took another bite, and another, and another, and another, until it was all gone.  Ryuuichi was sad that it was gone, because it was really good, but once again, something even stranger diverted his attention.  There was a string in his mouth.  Ryuuichi picked up the string in his hands.  It was strange, how did that get in his mouth?  Oh well.  Ryuuichi began to run his hands down the string to see where it led.  His hands followed it all the way down to where it was attached to a stick, which was being held in a hand.  The hand then dropped the stick and proceeded to close the car door with a click.

Click.  Ryuuichi blinked.  Blink.  Blink, blink.  That was strange; how did he get in a car?  Ryuuichi looked around.  It sure was dark in here.  It must have been that magical donut.  Stupid magical donut!  He would now consume as punishment.  Ryuuichi looked around.  It must have disappeared, with its magical abilities, because it was nowhere in sight.  It wasn't in his hands, where he left it last; it wasn't on the floor, or on the seat, or on the ceiling, or on the string, or the stick, or Yuki's little brother's face…

"Hey, I know you!" Ryuuichi said, pointing at Tatsuha.  He then blushed and put his finger down, remembering that Tohma said he shouldn't point at people because people didn't like to be pointed at.

Tatsuha smiled wickedly and patted Ryuuichi on the head.  "Do you want another donut, Sakuma-san?"

Ryuuichi blinked and smiled and nodded spastically.  "Yeah, yeah, I do, I do!"

"Well, then, you have to cooperate for me…"

Blink, blink.