By: Stealiana
The hours ticked by so slowly. Crickets accompanied me through a good portion of my vigil, but soon even they went to rest. I sat, watching the lantern flicker across the table.
I knew he had told me not to wait for him, but even if I tried I could not have slept. Too much had already happened, yet there was still so many blank pages left to fill in this chapter of my life that my imagination could not possibly conjure enough scenarios!
My torn yukata lay in my lap, my fingers carefully mending the tear as my mind wandered. I had decided to keep the clothing as a reminder, a momento. Everything had changed in an instant, it seemed, like a tree about to be snapped by the wind, finally acquiescing and bending. Once in motion, the storm loses all power over the plant, and none of the howls or cries raining from the sky can penetrate its tranquility.
My serenity was at last broken by the sound of his voice, muffled by the rice paper door. What accompanied it caused my breath to catch in my throat.
"Ahou! What the hell did you think you were doing?"
A series of violent coughs were the only answer, and I opened the door to reveal a terribly gruesome sight.
My husband stood at the door, his face tainted by disgust, his clothes bloodstained and dirty. Hanging limply onto his left arm was Okita, also covered in blood - but I suspected it was his own.
"Okita!" I cried out, my surprise preventing me from saying much else. My husband did not move, but instead pushed Okita into my hands, as I carefully eased the boy inside. "Sit down," I insisted, trying to help him lower his body. I propped him against the wall, and he did not budge, his skin pale and glistening with beaded sweat, involuntarily shaking. The coughs continued to summon revolting bloody phlegm and I felt sickened by the very sight. I helped him out of his uniform, hoping it would allow him to breathe easier. It was still sticky and I felt my stomach turn. He was sick. "I'll go get fresh linen for you." I would burn it afterwards - money would buy me more cloth, but it could not buy a cure for consumption.
When I hurried back, I realized my husband had not moved far, but was leaning against the wall with an uncharacteristic grimace flashing across his face as he limped forward. I had not realized the red seeping through the cloth on his left leg, the trickle bleeding into his sock…
"Stay there." I softly instructed, unable to do anything but attend to Okita, whose spasms had resumed. I wrapped the boy in a blanket and gave him a towel to catch his coughs, before sitting back, feeling ultimately useless. What he needed was a doctor, but at the moment he was in no condition to walk.
I turned my attention to my injured husband. He had not asked for any assistance, but he seemed grateful to use my shoulder as a crutch. My own arm went about his waist, as we slowly progressed towards the kitchen. I never realized how much one could tell by simply holding another person; his unsteady breathing and tensing of muscles unveiled every dagger of pain and every struggle to force the burning agony back with another step. When at last he was able to ease himself onto a tatami mat, I already knew what lay behind his blank face, and I decided to take his mind off the stinging pain while I dressed the wound.
"What exactly were you doing?" I asked, as I kindled a fire. The cloth would need to be boiled, and I regretted that I did not have any medicine to accompany the bandages.
"There's a packet over there. Drugs." He gestured to a drawer on my left, as if sensing my very thoughts. I followed his directions and found a small envelope, filled with powder.
"This?"
"Mm."
"…What should I do with it?"
"Add water. Not too much." As I moved to mix the ointment, he began to talk, his low voice full of a steady anger - which I realized what not directed at me, but still aroused a sense of timidity deep within. His eyes closed, he recounted every detail, addressing my initial question.
"All we were to do was escort some politicians for a meeting - their names are of no consequence. The Ishin Shishi had been looking to dispose of these politicians, so we all coordinated our group movements to block the possible entrances. My unit was in the woods by the back wall of the inn."
"Well, the Ishin Shishi chose to strike as Hijikata predicted. Their numbers have grown, recently; from what I saw they had enough men to surround the entire building. Now, of course, they're all dead. But the Ishin Shishi will regroup and strike again. Persistent maggots." He opened his eyes and became silent as I drew near, the wet cloths in my hand intended for cleaning his wound. He looked away, not savoring the thought.
"Here, take these off." I suggested, helping to peel the stained uniform from him. Absentmindedly, I wiped off a smudge of dirt on his forehead with my thumb.
"Why don't you tell me what Okita was doing there? Surely he wasn't meant to be fighting! Not as sick as he is…"
He snorted, possibly amused by my ignorance. But I did not mind; thinking would keep his mind occupied as I dabbed the bleeding slash.
"Okita is a fool. In his condition he is of no use to the Shinsengumi and he knows it. But he has to stay. One of our rules is that the members cannot leave once they have entered. If they try - seppuku."
I shuddered inadvertently - the logic behind committing an act of self-mutilation would be forever lost on me.
"Well, Kondou and Hijikata knew he was sick, and at last they found a way around it. They made him their messenger, after he was unable to fight any longer-" Abruptly he stopped, wincing as I applied the medicine with a fresh cloth.
"Continue." I prodded. "How did Okita end up with you if he is not supposed to fight?"
"Apparently, the little bastard was hiding among the trees with the rest of us. When the fighting broke out, he joined the melee and in the confusion no one noticed. I had just sent my men back to the inn to ensure the safety of the officials when I heard his infernal cough and smelled his blood. He had succeeded in getting three rebels, but there were still three more and he had collapsed. The little fool is lucky I was there. To think, I sacrificed a leg for his hide and he may not even live to realize it."
"Well," I said, wrapping the bandage about his leg. "You couldn't have just left him there…"
"No. The Ishin Shishi would have loved to get their hands on Okita Souji… it would have been a great blow to our organization."
"That may be true." I conceded. "Still, you are being too harsh on the boy."
"Is that so?"
"What other way of life does he know? He is so young -" I finished securing the bandage in place and went to soak the dirty clothes. "You call him a fool, but I think he is just lost. Without his sword, he is nothing." I paused for a moment, watching the red swirl and dissolve off the fabric. "And really, aren't you the same way?" The silence indicated I had made an observation with more than a grain of truth in it.
"In the beginning, perhaps I was." He admitted. Another pause. "You may be right about him."
With a victorious smile, I turned to see him struggling to stand.
"What are you doing?" I objected. The pack of cigarettes in his hand answered what he was unwilling to. I firmly guided him back to his mat on the floor. "You can smoke inside this time." I moved to open a window. "Just leave it." I heard no words of thanks, but a rapid grating of the match. Ah well, I thought. He cannot be perfect.
"It seems Okita is feeling better." I commented in the silence, noting the coughs had ceased. "If he is well enough, I will walk him to the doctor down the street. There is nothing we can do for him."
"Mm," was my reply, my husband too engrossed with his smoking to bother responding. Rolling my eyes and heaving a sigh, I shifted towards the door.
"Be careful, Tokio." He said, not looking up. "Kyoto is restless tonight."
"…Of course." I nodded in obedience, before leaving to see to Okita.
Responses to Reviews:
You're all gonna turn me into a review addict! ^^; I hope I got everyone!
Mary-Ann: If you want more info on mangas containing Saito and the Shinsengumi - go read G's review. And here is that Okita explanation... with more in the next chapter. Don't worry, I understand your reviews completely ^_^ Cuz they say exactly what I think about the fic too! The "sweet" moments aren't the same kind you might get with other couples from RK because... well, it's Saito! He has a different quality that has certain things go "unsaid".
Leila Winters: Do I need to write a disclaimer that it's not my fault if you stay up late because of Saito? XD This is actually my first perspective fic ever, and... I won't lie, it's really hard to keep this from Mary-Suing itself. Cuz we all wish we were Tokio, don't we? I hope this holds up to your standards of "longer chapter"... I pretty much write until the characters say "okay, stop HERE". I know that sounds stupid, but that's really how it is. And no, I'm not a schizophrenic.
Eikou: I did hear about the translations! I have to save up so I can grab my copy!
Blood Roses: The "if you must" was my version of Saito having an awkward moment. Cuz honestly, the guy isn't gonna be real smooth even if he is a closet romantic... who has he had to practice on?
kamorgana: Okay, so it took me two chapters to get to Okita? And I'm curious - was that what you thought would happen? LOL. It was a random idea that came to me, but I hope it's plausible.
Poppyrulz: Three times the reviews, eh? You won't get any complaints from me! >) Tell everyone you know to review review review!
Harthlays: *blushes* I don't know what to say! Thank you doesn't do justice...
Calencoireiel: He didn't light the cigarette because he was thinking too much about other things. And cuz *cough* he was pretty drunk...
aiteane: He wanted his katana because he likes to kill people...? I thought it would be funny if he was like "WHERE THE HELL IS IT?!" and he was wearing it the whole time... ^^; And btw, drama means constant upheavals of happiness, LOL. More trauma will come, but I think it's gonna end up ultimately being happy. Too few fics do that nowadays.
Wolf of Mibu: See, I ain't stupid. LOL. And don't pity them, look at how happy Chapter 8 was! XD
G: AH! I OWE YOU MY LIFE! Or my firstborn... something along those lines. Thank you so much for all the info and the self-esteem boost, lol!
Keito-chan: Tokio has a backbone... somewhere. I've been trying to find it in the last few chapters and I think it's been discovered!
JadeGoddess: Indeed - Saito doesn't apologize! But it's okay, because in his own way, at least, he makes up for his mistakes. And while he won't admit them, he's not stupid enough to deny that he does make them.
Silver: *dies laughing* MINTS! Genius, absolute GENIUS! Honestly though, the whole cigarette smoking thing is supposed to be more symbolic than anything. His silence and smoking are her main issues, and his are her rejection and his own awkwardness about the whole thing.
slazh: Glad you don't think I've made him a sadistic bastard. XD Really, he wouldn't have so many fans if we didn't think he had another side to him... or would he?
Rachel Wes: I could have ended it, if I didn't bring Okita into the story. (Damn that kid...) But more action is on the way. And possibly some more of what I dub "Saito sap". Well, cuz really it's not that sappy. AND THE IDEA YOU HAD WAS GENIUS! I shall write a companion fic, I think. ^_^ It would help explain everything, and I would get to mess with his character more in-depth. Thank you so much for the thought.
Lola: Chapter 8 was my favorite to write thus far. But how they got there was important too, so I've been trying to give every chapter equal consideration, planning, etc.
Sarah: Thankies! ^_^ Always good to have encouragement in terms of my character development. I've been feeling shaky all along and a little boost now and then helps tremendously, so THANK YOU!
eriesalia: Tokio won't be messed with. Well, I shouldn't say that. Everything will iron itself out in the end. And then they'll frolic in meadows with bunnies and butterflies... juuuust kidding!
muemosyne: See G's review for information on Tokio in a manga. ^^ And as for Tokio's mindset, being the outspoken American that I am, I'm glad I've been able to infiltrate the traditional woman's perspective. And yes, I felt that Tokio needed to have a spark in her or else Saito would not be able to respect her and then things would NOT end well!
