TOMORROW

And I wanna believe you, When you tell me that it'll be ok, Ya I try to believe you, But I don't

"You can't be serious .. Ok I'll be right there she's going to be all right isn't she? . Ok I understand I'm on my way," I said quickly hanging up the phone and dashing to the door grabbing my coat and car keys on the way. "What's going on what's happening . hey where are they taking her?" I said pointing to a bed with an elderly woman being wheeled out of the intensive care ward "that's not your grandmother darling" my mother said as I watched them leave "but I swear it was her" I protested as she put her arm around my shoulders "come on" she said guiding me to the relatives waiting room. "Is everybody here?" a short blonde haired nurse said entering the tiny room "yes everyone that can make it is . can you tell us what's going on?" my uncle asked as the nurse took a seat "well . it seems your mother has had a difficult surgery and were not sure how or if she's going to pull through" she said stopping to take a breath as I laid my head in my hands "are we able to see her?" My father asked as the nurse nodded "we can take three to two at a time . if you'd like to sit in there you may we can just work around you" she said as we all nodded "can we go first?" My aunty Therese asked as the nurse stood to her feet "yep sure just follow me and just letting you know she it very bloated but she has been through major surgery so it's perfectly normal" The short nurse said smiling slightly as the three children followed her into the ward.

When you say that it's gonna be, It always turns out to be a different way, I try to believe you, Not today, today, today, today, today...

The calm silence of the waiting room was broken when my aunty came rushing out of the ward crying at the sight of my grandmother "do you want to go in?" my mother asked as my father and uncle emerged to comfort my crying aunt "yep" I replied quietly as I held her hand and followed her through the thick plastic flapping doors and into a room full of all different sounds "I'll just get you to wash your hands" one of the other nurses said smiling as we obliged before being shown to where my grandmother lay "hold her hand talk to her . she can hear you" the short blonde nurse said as I looked at her smiling back slightly, I held her hand in mine for a seconded it was so cold and swollen it didn't look like my grandmother at all tubes everywhere I quickly dropped her hand and ran out of the room crying hopping this was all a bad very bad dream and that id wake up soon.

I don't know how to feel, tomorrow, tomorrow, I don't know what to say, tomorrow, tomorrow Is a different day

I stood outside the front of the hospital getting some fresh air and trying to calm down as sobs took control of my body, I pulled out my cell and quickly dialed the first number I could think of "Hello" a deep southern voice answered the phone "hey . um I . I mean .. Can you .. Oh never mind" I said holding back tears that were starting to well again "Riley what's the matter . is everything ok?" He asked as I broke "no Nan's in hospital Jeff it's horrible tubes everywhere" I said crying into the phone "I'll be there as soon as I can" he said "ok" I managed to say before hearing a dial tone and hanging up myself "ok Riley get a hold of yourself its gonna be ok . she's going to be ok" I said to myself as I made my way back to the waiting room passing one of the nurses on the way "Riley right?" the nurse said as I stopped and turned around and nodded "your grandmothers told me a lot about you . she's very proud of you" she said causing my eyes to well once again "she's a very lovely lady . easy to love and she spoilt us all" she said as I smiled "that's Nan for yah" I replied as the nurse hugged me "she's going to be ok" the nurse said squeezing my arm reassuringly before disappearing into the bathroom and I into the waiting room.

It's always been up to you, It's turning around, It's up to me, I'm gonna do what I have to do, just do

"Do any of you know what church your mother was with at all?" the short blonde nurse asked as she once again entered the waiting room "yes the priest is father Lothian . why do you need to know?" My father asked "has her condition deteriated?" came his next question as the nurse stayed quiet trying to think how she was going to break the news "unfortunately yes just in the last few minutes" she replied as the room suddenly fell silent "do you know the number of the church she belongs to at all?" the nurse asked as everyone shook there head "would you happen to have any objection if we rang the local catholic church and if there resident priest could come and visit your mother?" she asked again ever so politely "he's a very nice man I'm sure your mother would like him" she spoke again as everyone nodded and she left the room once again.

Gimme a lil time, Leave me alone a little while, Maybe it's not too late, not today, today, today, today, today...

My father, uncle and aunt finally emerged and far welled the priest thanking him for his time before returning to the ever so quiet waiting room once again "he anointed her" my aunt informed us causing my head to shoot up "but that's that what they do when there going to die" I said fear apparent in my tone as she shook her head "I know but the nurse said she was getting better while we were in there" my Aunt replied as I sat back down trying to push those thoughts out of my head but to no avail.

I don't know how to feel, tomorrow, tomorrow, I don't know what to say, tomorrow, tomorrow Is a different day

"Would you all like to come in" the short blonde nurse finally introduced as Tammy said as we all stood and followed each other like sheep into the cold room and stood around Nan's bed. As everyone crowded around I stood back watching hopping again that id wake up soon and this would all be over but unfortunately it wasn't I watched the heart monitor that was hooked up to my grandmother slowly decreasing the nurses must have noticed as they quickly turned it off but were still able to watch her monitor from there desk, just as that happened Tammy tapped me on the shoulder "have you ever seen anyone die before?" she asked causing my eyes to widen and I shook my head "ok well the machines are slowly going to turn themselves off" she said as I nodded not really listening to what she was saying "I love you Nan" I whispered to myself trying my hardest not to cry but when I heard the beep I knew she was gone and there was nothing I could do to bring her back.

And I know I'm not ready, Maybe tomorrow

I ran out of the room as fast as I could only to crash straight into someone "Riley are you ok?" I heard the familiar voice asked as I gathered myself off the ground and fell straight into his arms "it was horrible . I had to watch . just stand there Jeff . I couldn't do anything I just had to watch her die" I said sobbing into his chest as he rubbed my back "I cant believe this has happened . she's gone" I said still cry as he rocked me back and forth. Not even noticing my mother walking out tears streaming down her face "is she ok?" she mouthed as Jeff nodded as she hesitantly walked back into the room laving us alone in the hallway "I don't know what I'm going to do" I whispered as he stoked my hair "It's gonna be ok" he whispered into my ear as I shook my head "no I don't think I will" I said before beginning to cry once again.

And I wanna believe you, When you tell me that it'll be ok, Ya I try to believe you, Not today, today, today, today, today...