AN: Back to Carter's POV. And this chapter is more of a "move the story along" sort of thing. We'll get back into the thick of it next chapter, I promise. Be patient with me. Um, no special thanks, considering I was too impatient to wait for a Beta this time. I guess props to Extreme for "More Than Words," which was on repeat in my ear as I wrote this…not that it actually has any meaning toward the chapter…whatever.
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One whole day.
All I can think as I step off of the plane and into the airport at Kinshasa is that it was exactly 24 hours ago that I last saw her face. That I left her standing in our apartment. Alone.
This flight lasted far longer than it was supposed to. As I make my way toward the group that has congregated, I recount in my mind the multiple times we were delayed. An extra two hours on the runway in Chicago. An hour and a half stop for fuel in Morocco. An emergency landing due to weather…somewhere in Africa…that resulted in another 4 hours of delay. So, a full twenty-four hours after leaving the apartment, I've finally set foot in Kinshasa. And we're still not to the final destination. Will this journey ever end?
Joining the group, I drop my bags beside me and listen as the director of the mission gives us a run down of our next steps. He spouts something about being prepared to jump into immediate action once we hit the field, and reminding us that supplies and conditions will be incredibly lacking compared to what we're used to. I have to wonder if he's ever tried to practice medicine at County.
He continues for another five minutes or so, and then tells us to meet back here in half an hour. Then, we'll make our way out to the facilities. As everyone begins to disperse, I grab my bags and move them to a set of chairs near the window. I collapse into one of the chairs and suddenly my head is resting in my hands. I'm so damn exhausted.
"Long flight, huh?"
I raise my head and find a vaguely familiar man standing in front of me. About my height, average build, black hair and glasses. I remember, now. He was on the plane, sitting across the aisle from me.
"That's an understatement," I offer with a slight smile.
"Josh Lowden," he says as he reaches out his hand to me. I give him mine in response.
"John Carter. You're on the mission, then?"
He sighs heavily, expressing what I feel. "Yeah. All the way from New Jersey. You?"
"Chicago," I say with a nod. He raises his eyebrows at me - making me think of her - and sits down across from me.
"Wow. Long way from home, aren't you?" It's a rhetorical question, but I nod thoughtfully nonetheless. He continues, and I can't decide if I necessarily want this distraction. He's a nice guy, but…I'm tired. "What's your specialty, then?"
I sit back in my chair and blink, long and hard. "Emergency. Trauma. Chief Resident"
This elicits another raise of the eyebrow, and my mind again flies back to the woman I left twenty-four hours ago. "Doctor, then. I'm a nurse. Tried med school for a while, but somehow I just got too comfortable in nursing. I only did it to pay for med school, at first, but…well, this doesn't interest you, I'm sure. Doctors aren't known to worry themselves over the lives of nurses, you know?"
And, again, I'm thinking of her.
"I don't know about other doctors, but I might just surprise you. I know more than you'd ever imagine about the life of a nurse." I have to chuckle a little when I say it, just thinking of her and how much of my life has revolved around hers lately.
I miss her. And it's only been one day.
I wonder what she's doing right now. Probably working, I'm sure. She said she was working overtime while I was gone, to keep busy. She worries too much. I love her for it.
I'm suddenly aware of Josh calling my name, and I shake myself out of my thoughts and return my eyes to him.
"I'm sorry, what?"
He smiles a little and repeats himself. "I was just asking if you were married. My wife and I had our first anniversary just last month…"
I bite my tongue momentarily, amazed at how easy it is to think of her at every moment of this conversation. "No," I replay finally. "Not married. Not yet, at least."
He nods knowingly. "Engaged, then? Danielle and I were engaged for almost two years before we finally walked down the aisle."
I pause, not knowing what to say next. Am I engaged? I have no idea. I'd like to think I am. But I'm not sure. "Something like that," is all I offer.
He laughs a little at my indecision, then, "What's her name?"
And I'm smiling now. I can't contain it.
"Abby." I relish the way her name rolls off my tongue. Suddenly, I need to hear her respond. "Actually, I really should try to call her, so if you'll excuse me…"
Josh gives me a nod of acceptance and I grab my bags again, walking off in search of a phone. Eventually, I find several pay phones on the wall beside the small café. Dropping my bags once again, I pull out my long-distance calling card and begin to strategically dial all of the numbers. I know she's working - she has to be - so we won't be able to talk for long. But I need to hear her voice. Desperately.
Several minutes of number-punching later, the line is finally ringing. And before I know it, I hear Frank's voice on the other end.
"Hey Frank, it's Dr. Carter. Is Abby around?" Please let her be there. Please.
"Dr. Carter, hey. Yeah she's here somewhere." Thank God. "Aren't you supposed to be in Africa?"
"I am, so can you please get her for me? I'm calling long distance, to say the least."
Frank puts me on hold for a moment and I feel my heart beat a little faster in anticipation of her voice. And then I hear it.
"Carter?"
My smile is stretching from ear to ear. "Hey, baby. How are you?"
I hear her sigh and I know she's smiling, too. "I'm fine, considering you're halfway around the world. How are things there?"
"Good, so far. Actually we're only in Kinshasa right now, so we'll be taking a few smaller turbo-props out to the field sites within the next hour. I'm so tired of flying, I'd rather walk there than get on another plane," I scoff.
"I don't blame you," she replies with laughter in her voice. Then, "You'll call me when you get to the site? So I know you made it okay?"
"I will." I hate her worrying so much. So I change the subject. "They tell me Luka's got the place running like clockwork."
I hear her release a laugh on the other end, and I wish I could see her smile. "Somehow that doesn't surprise me. You two play nice, okay? There's enough danger out there on its own, I don't need to hear about you and Luka killing one another."
"I promise," I say with a smile. A smile that isn't fading as long as her voice is in my ear. "No fighting with the European ex-boyfriend. I'll be good."
More laughter. God, I miss her. I want to ask her if she found the ring, but I decide to let it be something she brings up. If she wants to.
We're both silent for a minute or two, listening to each other breathe.
"I'm really proud of you," she almost whispers. "I don't want you to think that I'm not, just because I fought you so hard about going. I'm so proud of you right now."
I close my eyes and think back on all the arguments we had over my coming here. I hope they were worth it. I hope this trip ends up being worth it. But she's proud of me, nonetheless. And I can't think of anything to say in response.
"I love you, Abby." That'll have to do. It's the only thought in my head right now.
I can practically hear her smile, but then I recognize the voice of Haleh in the background. "Um, I have to get back to work. And you need to catch that plane. Anything you needed?"
"Just wanted to hear your voice," is my raspy reply. I don't want this conversation to end.
But it does. And she sighs again.
"I love you, too. Call me when you get there."
And she's gone.
I hang up the phone and grab my bags again, walking back toward the gate where the group has began to assemble again. And the next thing I know, we're walking out on the runway and boarding three small planes, five to a group.
Taking my seat inside, I look out the window and anticipate what awaits me next. A makeshift hospital in the middle of a war zone. With Luka Kovac.
And I sigh.
Here goes nothing.
======================
One whole day.
All I can think as I step off of the plane and into the airport at Kinshasa is that it was exactly 24 hours ago that I last saw her face. That I left her standing in our apartment. Alone.
This flight lasted far longer than it was supposed to. As I make my way toward the group that has congregated, I recount in my mind the multiple times we were delayed. An extra two hours on the runway in Chicago. An hour and a half stop for fuel in Morocco. An emergency landing due to weather…somewhere in Africa…that resulted in another 4 hours of delay. So, a full twenty-four hours after leaving the apartment, I've finally set foot in Kinshasa. And we're still not to the final destination. Will this journey ever end?
Joining the group, I drop my bags beside me and listen as the director of the mission gives us a run down of our next steps. He spouts something about being prepared to jump into immediate action once we hit the field, and reminding us that supplies and conditions will be incredibly lacking compared to what we're used to. I have to wonder if he's ever tried to practice medicine at County.
He continues for another five minutes or so, and then tells us to meet back here in half an hour. Then, we'll make our way out to the facilities. As everyone begins to disperse, I grab my bags and move them to a set of chairs near the window. I collapse into one of the chairs and suddenly my head is resting in my hands. I'm so damn exhausted.
"Long flight, huh?"
I raise my head and find a vaguely familiar man standing in front of me. About my height, average build, black hair and glasses. I remember, now. He was on the plane, sitting across the aisle from me.
"That's an understatement," I offer with a slight smile.
"Josh Lowden," he says as he reaches out his hand to me. I give him mine in response.
"John Carter. You're on the mission, then?"
He sighs heavily, expressing what I feel. "Yeah. All the way from New Jersey. You?"
"Chicago," I say with a nod. He raises his eyebrows at me - making me think of her - and sits down across from me.
"Wow. Long way from home, aren't you?" It's a rhetorical question, but I nod thoughtfully nonetheless. He continues, and I can't decide if I necessarily want this distraction. He's a nice guy, but…I'm tired. "What's your specialty, then?"
I sit back in my chair and blink, long and hard. "Emergency. Trauma. Chief Resident"
This elicits another raise of the eyebrow, and my mind again flies back to the woman I left twenty-four hours ago. "Doctor, then. I'm a nurse. Tried med school for a while, but somehow I just got too comfortable in nursing. I only did it to pay for med school, at first, but…well, this doesn't interest you, I'm sure. Doctors aren't known to worry themselves over the lives of nurses, you know?"
And, again, I'm thinking of her.
"I don't know about other doctors, but I might just surprise you. I know more than you'd ever imagine about the life of a nurse." I have to chuckle a little when I say it, just thinking of her and how much of my life has revolved around hers lately.
I miss her. And it's only been one day.
I wonder what she's doing right now. Probably working, I'm sure. She said she was working overtime while I was gone, to keep busy. She worries too much. I love her for it.
I'm suddenly aware of Josh calling my name, and I shake myself out of my thoughts and return my eyes to him.
"I'm sorry, what?"
He smiles a little and repeats himself. "I was just asking if you were married. My wife and I had our first anniversary just last month…"
I bite my tongue momentarily, amazed at how easy it is to think of her at every moment of this conversation. "No," I replay finally. "Not married. Not yet, at least."
He nods knowingly. "Engaged, then? Danielle and I were engaged for almost two years before we finally walked down the aisle."
I pause, not knowing what to say next. Am I engaged? I have no idea. I'd like to think I am. But I'm not sure. "Something like that," is all I offer.
He laughs a little at my indecision, then, "What's her name?"
And I'm smiling now. I can't contain it.
"Abby." I relish the way her name rolls off my tongue. Suddenly, I need to hear her respond. "Actually, I really should try to call her, so if you'll excuse me…"
Josh gives me a nod of acceptance and I grab my bags again, walking off in search of a phone. Eventually, I find several pay phones on the wall beside the small café. Dropping my bags once again, I pull out my long-distance calling card and begin to strategically dial all of the numbers. I know she's working - she has to be - so we won't be able to talk for long. But I need to hear her voice. Desperately.
Several minutes of number-punching later, the line is finally ringing. And before I know it, I hear Frank's voice on the other end.
"Hey Frank, it's Dr. Carter. Is Abby around?" Please let her be there. Please.
"Dr. Carter, hey. Yeah she's here somewhere." Thank God. "Aren't you supposed to be in Africa?"
"I am, so can you please get her for me? I'm calling long distance, to say the least."
Frank puts me on hold for a moment and I feel my heart beat a little faster in anticipation of her voice. And then I hear it.
"Carter?"
My smile is stretching from ear to ear. "Hey, baby. How are you?"
I hear her sigh and I know she's smiling, too. "I'm fine, considering you're halfway around the world. How are things there?"
"Good, so far. Actually we're only in Kinshasa right now, so we'll be taking a few smaller turbo-props out to the field sites within the next hour. I'm so tired of flying, I'd rather walk there than get on another plane," I scoff.
"I don't blame you," she replies with laughter in her voice. Then, "You'll call me when you get to the site? So I know you made it okay?"
"I will." I hate her worrying so much. So I change the subject. "They tell me Luka's got the place running like clockwork."
I hear her release a laugh on the other end, and I wish I could see her smile. "Somehow that doesn't surprise me. You two play nice, okay? There's enough danger out there on its own, I don't need to hear about you and Luka killing one another."
"I promise," I say with a smile. A smile that isn't fading as long as her voice is in my ear. "No fighting with the European ex-boyfriend. I'll be good."
More laughter. God, I miss her. I want to ask her if she found the ring, but I decide to let it be something she brings up. If she wants to.
We're both silent for a minute or two, listening to each other breathe.
"I'm really proud of you," she almost whispers. "I don't want you to think that I'm not, just because I fought you so hard about going. I'm so proud of you right now."
I close my eyes and think back on all the arguments we had over my coming here. I hope they were worth it. I hope this trip ends up being worth it. But she's proud of me, nonetheless. And I can't think of anything to say in response.
"I love you, Abby." That'll have to do. It's the only thought in my head right now.
I can practically hear her smile, but then I recognize the voice of Haleh in the background. "Um, I have to get back to work. And you need to catch that plane. Anything you needed?"
"Just wanted to hear your voice," is my raspy reply. I don't want this conversation to end.
But it does. And she sighs again.
"I love you, too. Call me when you get there."
And she's gone.
I hang up the phone and grab my bags again, walking back toward the gate where the group has began to assemble again. And the next thing I know, we're walking out on the runway and boarding three small planes, five to a group.
Taking my seat inside, I look out the window and anticipate what awaits me next. A makeshift hospital in the middle of a war zone. With Luka Kovac.
And I sigh.
Here goes nothing.
