Epilogue
Forever.
As she lies in bed, gazing at the sleeping man beside her, she can only think of that one simple word.
Forever.
That endless and everlasting amount of time.
Forever.
It's what they both promised to one another this very day, just five short years ago. And as she watches him now, sleeping peacefully in the home that they have since created, she cannot imagine her life in any other fashion. This is how it was meant to be. Together, with him. Forever. The vows that they took five years ago today are still as clear as ever in her mind. No matter what comes, nobody leaves. This is eternal. This is perfect.
And she knows that nothing is every truly perfection, but even with all of the ups and downs that life has thrown at them in the past…this is as perfect as she could imagine a life being. It pains her, somewhere deep within, to remember how scared she used to be about entering this new chapter of life. She can't imagine her life without him, now. She can't imagine living anywhere else than in this home that he bought for her following their honeymoon. She can't picture waking up every morning and going through a daily routine that didn't include kissing him, touching him, and whispering those three precious words.
Sometimes she finds herself thinking that it's all a dream. No way could she be living a life that most women would kill for. She's never been that lucky. She's never been that willing to simply let go of her fears and hesitations. She's never been one to let herself accept all the blessings that she's ever wished for. But with him, she was different. He changed her. He changed her because he loved her. And she knew that no one would - and no one ever will - love her more than he. No matter what differences they've had or what arguments have found their way into this marriage, it always comes back to that one true fact. They love each other. More than anything.
And that's worth everything.
As he reaches a state of consciousness, he rolls over in bed and opens his eyes to find her staring at him, a gentle smile playing on her lips. Usually, he's the one to awake early and watch her in a state of slumber as the sun rises and cascades rays of light across her peaceful and beautiful face. Today, however, he finds that she has beat him to it. And he can't help but smile at the thought. It's good to know that they both enjoy the same early-morning activity. Not that there isn't another early-morning activity that they both seem to enjoy, but that one tends to come about in result of this ritualistic sleep-watching…
He reaches his hand across the small distance between them and caresses her cheek ever so slightly. Leaning into his touch, she turns her head and kisses his palm gently with her pouty, morning lips. She's tired, and he can tell. It's to be expected. And yet, she's still awake before him - content to sit and watch him sleep. Every morning, he still finds himself in awe of the fact that she's truly here. She's really his wife, and has been for some time now. After so many years of thinking he would never hold her, and then many more years of drama and angst and seemingly-endless hardships…this is where they are. Together still. And happier than they've ever been.
Smiling at him softly, she glances past him toward the clock on the bedside table.
"You'd better get up. You're gonna be late for work."
He groans exaggeratedly and shoves his head back into the pillow, murmuring something about how no one should be forced to work on their anniversary. She laughs in return, questioning his comment.
"Why's that?"
Lifting his head, he takes her hand into his and pushes himself to sit upright against the headboard.
"Because…it's five years, ya know. That's a big deal. We've made it."
"What, you didn't think we would?" she whispers sarcastically, giving him a grin to show him that she's teasing.
"It's just…important, that's all. I'd rather stay home with you today."
She pulls her hand from his grasp and leans in to kiss him lightly on the lips before pulling herself out of the bed. Like it or not, it's time to get started on the day.
"Well, babe, I'd like that, too. But you have to go in."
"Why?" And now he's whining, reminding her all-to-clearly of another certain Carter that she knows.
She rolls her eyes in his direction and motions for him to get up and out of the bed so that she can begin the task of changing the sheets and starting the day's laundry.
"Because if you don't go in today, we surely won't be allowed the weekend off for our vacation now, will we?"
"Right. Point taken, Mrs. Carter," he says with a nod as he lifts himself and begins moving around the master bedroom.
"Don't do that. I told you - it makes me sound too much like a mother." She sighs with exasperation as she starts stripping the linens from the mattress and throwing them onto the floor beside her. He comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, placing his lips against her ear and whispering softly.
"Well, you are a mother."
This wins him an affectionate grin before she wriggles out of his grip and commands him to get showered and dressed for work. Now.
As he takes his time in the shower, she finishes re-making the bed and gathers up all the past week's laundry before carrying it downstairs and separating it into the washing machine. Once completed, she heads for the kitchen and puts the cleaned dishes from last night's dinner into their proper drawers and cabinets, following this action with the commencement of making breakfast. A daily routine that she's easily scheduled her life around. The chores of a house wife.
Although, house wife she is not. She continues working at the hospital, maintaining her position as Nurse Manager while John is now chief of the ER. But her hours have been cut in half, by her own choosing. In the past few years, she's found herself becoming fond of her time alone in the house - time to fill it with her own touch, make it into a true home, and in keeping with the Carter Family standards. Not that she's ever cared what his family thought of her…but now she and John are the Carter Family. The foundation is theirs. The fortune is theirs. And when she decided that she wanted to stay home more and concentrate on family responsibilities, there was no reason for her not to. The money was never an issue.
And today happens to be one of the many days that she is not working. She wishes he could stay home as well, but she knows that there are last-minute duties for him to clear up at the hospital before they take off on their anniversary get-away to a destination completely unknown to her. Leave it to John Carter to keep things a mystery even after seven years of being together. Five of those years spent in marriage. She still can't wrap her mind around it. It truly is like a dream. An amazing, incredible dream.
Finishing with the bacon and eggs, she places the food evenly onto plates and moves them to the table before glancing up and seeing him walk into the room.
"Hey sweetie," she calls out in a voice coated with sugar. "Did you sleep okay?"
He nods and saunters toward her, wrapping his tiny arms around her leg until she picks him up, laughing, and rests him upon her hip. Even at three years old, it's clear that this child has inherited at least one quality from his mother: he's not too good with mornings.
"I'm hungry, mommy." The whining, as she reminded herself earlier, comes straight from his father.
"Well, breakfast is on the table and daddy should be down in a few minutes to take you to pre-school, so why don't you eat up and then you can go get dressed for me, okay?"
She places him into his booster seat and scoots his chair as close to the table as it will go without squeezing him between the two, then kisses his mussed head of hair lightly and moves to the refrigerator.
"What do you want to drink today, baby? Juice?"
He shakes his head in protest, mouth full of bacon, but tries to speak nonetheless.
"Chew first, please. No talking with food in your mouth, I thought daddy told you just last night that it's not nice, didn't he?"
The little boy, looking exactly like his father but with his mother's lips and nose, swallows the contents of his mouth before responding.
"Yes, mommy. Can I have milk, please?"
"Yes you can, and thank you for asking nicely, sweetheart."
She pours him the milk and sets the sippy-cup on the table beside his plate, returning to the counter to pour John a cup of coffee at the exact moment that he makes an entrance from upstairs. Moving to the table, he leans down to kiss his son on the head and ask if he's ready for another day at school. An enthusiastic response brings a smile to Carter's face, and he turns to walk toward his wife. He meets her at the counter and takes the mug of coffee from her hands, kissing her deeply in gratitude for all that she does for them.
"Eeew! Daddy!"
Abby laughs against his lips before pulling away and making a face at her son, who giggles in response. Carter takes a sip of his coffee and walks to the table, taking his place beside the boy.
"Sorry, Sport, but I told you already - mommies don't have cooties. They're different that other girls, right?"
"John!" she squeals in protest, but is laughing nonetheless.
His only response is to smile and wink in her direction before turning his attention back to the morning's meal.
When they began dating seven years ago, did he ever really picture this scenario in their future? Sure, he had hoped for it. But he was never truly positive that it would happen. It had taken him two whole years just to conjure up the nerve to kiss her. And even then, he was never sure she would reciprocate. When she did, he was never sure that they would be able to overcome all of the obstacles and create a lasting foundation for their love. So it only felt natural to fear that his deepest desires for his relationship with Abby would never actually come full-circle. But here he is, sitting in his kitchen with his son across from him and his wife of five years stopping to press a kiss to his cheek as she passes by toward her own seat at the table.
Sometimes everything does work out like you planned.
You just have to refuse to let go.
He watches as the young boy leaps up from the table and scampers back up the stairs, returning only minutes later in a new outfit with his hair neatly combed. He grabs a small backpack from beside the couch and runs back to his father's side, jumping up and down impatiently as he waits for Carter to finish his meal and take him to school. Instead, however, he finds himself being chased around the living room by a father who is suddenly overwhelmed with his inner-child and the urge to play tag. Several moments of running and tickling ensue before the laughter overwhelms the household, and all is put to a stop by Abby as she begs for them to keep the noise to a minimum. Carter looks toward the staircase and nods in understanding of her request. He lifts his son from the couch, placing him steadily on his feet and then sending him over to kiss his mother goodbye.
As the toddler finishes lavishing Abby with kisses, he makes his way to the garage door and waits silently as Carter takes over where the young boy left off. Kissing Abby gently, he places one hand on her waist and the other against her cheek. They savor the moment, knowing that it will be the last of it's kind until after the sun has set. He begins to pull away, but she has grasped his hand with her own and demands his attention for at least one more moment.
"You'll be home by ten, right?" she whispers lightly, her eyes sparkling with hope.
He nods in reply, smiling lightly and lifting her hand to his lips. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. Susan's going to pick him up from pre-school today and she'll bring him over tonight before we leave."
"Okay. Have a good day." And she kisses him again, quicker this time but not lacking any passion. "I love you."
He winks and moves toward the door where their son is waiting, his patience fading. "I love you, too. Happy Anniversary, baby."
She smiles an incredible smile, watching as the two men in her life exit into the garage and make their way out into the world for another day of work…and play. Grabbing the plates and glasses from the table, she moves back toward the kitchen sink and resumes the daily grind of household chores. With she and Carter leaving for the weekend, she needs to vacuum, mop, dust, grocery shop and pack before he returns later this evening. And, taking a glance at the staircase, she assumes she can get at least half of that accomplished before the most important adventure of her daily routine begins.
The hours pass in a generally normal fashion, and he sees the typical amount of patients, glad that the traumas seem to be at a minimum for the day. It gives him a chance to escape into the lounge and finish up the paperwork that needs to be cleared before Monday. Paperwork that has to be cleared today, since he won't be around to finish it this weekend. And there's no way in hell he's taking it with them on this vacation.
He hopes that she'll be pleased with the destination he's chosen. A weekend is all they're taking, since he's needed at the hospital and she doesn't want to be away too long. But still, he made a few phone calls and managed to reserve them the honeymoon penthouse at the most luxurious resort in all of the Bahamas. She has no idea where they're headed. Except that it requires her to pack a bathing suit. His mind is flitting with thoughts of the weekend to come and the incredible experiences that they will share together. The memories that they will make, only adding them to a book of memories that is growing larger with every passing day.
He thinks back to when this all began, and he still can't believe that they had almost - or could have almost - lost one another in his selfish attempt to prove his own worth in life by running off to the jungle. In hindsight, however, he wouldn't change a single moment of their relationship. Every step they've taken - every minute that has passed - has brought them to where they are today. And there's no place else he would rather be. Life has a crazy way of making everything turn out exactly as it should in the end, even when you spend far too long believing that you'll never see the light at the end of that proverbial tunnel.
Back at home, she sits on the couch after dinner and flips through a magazine, soaking up the latest information on parenting and how to raise a well-mannered and well-behaved child. She never imagined she would be a mother at all, much less a mother who seeks out the advice of know-it-all doctors in books and magazines. But since the birth of her son, she's never felt so committed to a cause - that child changed her life completely. Her life with Carter. And she wants nothing more than to raise her children in a fashion that will hopefully protect them from all of the anguish and pain that their parents suffered at such young ages.
She stays in her position on the couch for another hour or so before noticing the time and letting her mind recall what was left upstairs and what has yet to be accomplished. Placing the magazine back on the coffee table, she makes her way toward the stairs and up to their bedroom where she takes care of a few more chores and finally begins to pack for the weekend.
Neither of them can believe how lucky they are. Both of them, so stubborn and prideful - it's a miracle that they stand where they do today. Any other couple would have fallen to pieces by now, unable to accept responsibility for pain caused or to take charge in resolving an issue that was creating an unnecessary distance between them. Carter and Abby, however - they persevered. Too much time had been wasted in their first two years as friends. They spent too much time being careful and afraid during their first year as a couple. And his journey to the Congo had given them both a reality check. The time had come to step forward and be adults about their relationship. Agree to make it stick - forever - or simply give it up completely. The in-between and ping-pong game of emotions wasn't going to cut it any longer.
And so the decision was made.
And they chose to survive.
Together.
No better choice has ever been made. Well, aside from the choice to have their son. She was, at first, clearly uncomfortable and worried at the prospect of a child. Despite all the times that she had told them both how ready she was, she could not have predicted the fear that overwhelmed her when the test came back positive that day almost four years ago. But she took a step back and looked out upon the situation, and - with him there to hold her and assure her - she became convinced once again that she couldn't live without this child growing inside of her.
And months later, their son was born. Both were amazed at the ability to love someone so much, when they had thought all the love they had was already given away to one another. Yet, everyday their love grows more and more. Petty arguments come and go, disagreements and shouting matches and nights spent on the couch are something that he has grown accustomed to and has been reassured is simply the ebb and flow of marriage. But nothing has ever hindered their love. This is a love that was meant to be, and will always be if they have any say in it.
It's these exact thoughts that fill his head as he pulls up into the driveway just after 10:00 pm to find Susan stepping out of the driver's seat of her own car and moving around to the back to lift the sleeping Carter heir from his booster seat. She waves in John's direction as he puts the car in park and steps out to meet her, taking his son into his arms and walking with Susan into the house. He tells her to make herself comfortable, as usual, and that he and Abby will be down shortly.
Walking up the stairs, he undresses the young boy and places him into his pajamas before sliding him underneath the comforter. He stares momentarily at the miracle before him, reveling in the joy that he receives from knowing that this is the result of the love that he and Abby share. Brushing the hair away from the boys face, Carter leans down to kiss him lightly and then turns to walk out, shutting off the light and leaving the door open just a crack. He makes his way farther down the hall and stops at the door adjacent to the master bedroom, leaning against the frame and grinning happily as he watches the sight before him.
Abby sits, her back to him, in the darkened room and rocking slowly in the moonlight from the window. He can hear her humming lightly as she stares at the bundle in her arms, and he's amazed at how much more he loves her now than he did just moments before. Apparently, his ability to love her will never stop growing. He closes his eyes in a silent prayer, thanking whoever is responsible for giving him this life and love.
Eternally grateful doesn't even begin to describe it.
Moving into the room, he steps up behind her and leaves a kiss upon the top of her head. This catches her attention immediately, and she looks up to him with a smile.
"Susan's here," he whispers as he moves to kneel beside her, laying a hand gently on top of the tiny head in her lap. She nods in response and readjusts the bottle in her hand.
"Is he - ?" and it's Carter's turn to nod.
"He's sleeping, yeah. He was asleep when they got here."
At this, she carefully stands and he joins her. She leans in, kissing him softly on the lips before biting her own lip and staring into his eyes.
"They'll be okay without us?"
He knows she's worried, and he finds it adorable.
"They'll be fine, babe. I promise. What better babysitter than Susan, right? It's a godmother's favorite activity, and you know how much Susan loves watching them. Stop worrying, okay? We're going to have ourselves a quiet, relaxing weekend."
With that, he places his hands upon her elbows and leans his forehead against hers. She smiles in return and nods slightly, acknowledging that she knows he's right. She sighs a little before looking down at the baby and then back up at her husband.
"Will you take her, finish her feeding so I can go tuck him in and say goodbye?"
Smiling with understanding, he nods and lifts the tiny child from her arms. She exits and makes her way down the hall to check on their son once more before leaving town. As she goes, he sits himself in the rocker and places the bottle back into his daughter's tiny mouth.
His daughter.
Their daughter.
First a son, and now a daughter. Life is truly complete for them, and he couldn't ask for anything more. Six months have passed since her snowy February birth, but he remembers it as if it happened just hours before. His precious angel. The face of an angel, for she looks exactly like her mother. The same large and curious eyes, the cute little nose, the beautiful deep brown hair, and those precious pouty lips. Everything about her is Abby, and he couldn't be happier. He had thought his life was perfect when it was just the three of them, but when Abby found out she was pregnant again…well, there were no words for the emotions that ran through the both of them at that time. So much love. So much joy. And when it turned out to be a girl, it was as if full-circle had finally arrived. The perfect ending that he once assumed would never be reached, was here. And the miracle that fulfilled the circle of their family was now sleeping soundly in his arms.
As he stands and moves toward her crib, he notices Abby re-enter out of the corner of his eye. He turns in her direction and smiles, mouthing that she's finally asleep. Abby moves closer, placing herself directly beside him and rubs her hand softly over the curly brown locks on her daughter's head. She kisses her gently on the forehead before taking one of her tiny hands between her own fingers and caressing the baby-soft skin with a look of wonder on her face. It's moments like these that she and Carter cherish most. Moments when, standing in silence, they can gaze at the beauty that they've created by simply loving one another. How utterly amazing it is to think of all that they have together. All that they could have missed if they hadn't chosen to carry on and battle all the forces against them.
Following in his wife's previous movements, he kisses their daughter as well and then hands her back to Abby, who places her gently in the crib. They both remain, staring down at their darling daughter for another minute or so before he takes her hand and she nods in response of his unspoken request. It's time to go.
They walk down the hall and gather their bags from the bedroom, clasping hands once again as they walk toward the staircase. Passing family photographs along the way, they both find themselves once again caught up in the memories of the past seven to ten years. Not all of those years spent as a couple, but still - all of those years spent together in some form or another.
And as they give Susan a few last-minute reminders about the kids, they find themselves gripping each other's hands even tighter. Walking out the door and into the driveway, they glance at each other, and their ability to communicate silently is as strong as ever. They both know that this is where they're meant to be.
This is where the journey of life has taken them.
Together.
Married.
With two beautiful children.
And there is nothing that could ever make them doubt their choices. This is right. This is how it was supposed to end. All of the hardships, the pain, the struggles and the insecurities - it was all to bring them to this very moment.
Celebrating a life together.
They're sure that they have more struggles and difficulties ahead of them. Surely there will be plenty more nights of arguing and screaming in the years to come. Clearly, there are tears to be shed and painful words to be shouted. And they both know that the time will come, if not more than once, when at least one of them will want to back out of their deal - to walk away from it all and simply give up.
But what's more, they know that their love will prevail. No relationship is without it's faults. No couple is without it's fights. They know these moments will come, and they are not worried in the least. For they also know that what they have is too precious - too hard-earned - to simply give up on. And right now, it's that fact alone that they wish to concentrate on. They've created a life together, and with that have created two more precious lives.
Their dreams are now a reality, and they can't help but smile as they climb into the car and pull out onto the suburban Chicago street. Reaching a stop sign, he takes her hand in his and pulls her toward him for a kiss. She smiles in response, whispering an inquiry as to what she did to deserve that.
"I love you," he replies. "You know I'll always love you, right?"
This brings a smile to her face that reaches ear to ear and she moves her hand to caress his face before biting her lip and closing her eyes softly.
"I know," she murmurs into the silence. "I love you too, babe. No matter what."
And as they pull off into the night, their thoughts wander back to all that they have to look forward to.
The truth is, no matter what happens, they can't wait to experience it. Good or bad, joyful or tearful, cloudy or bright - they'll go through it together.
But exactly what the future holds in store for them, only time will tell.
And therein lies the adventure.
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-- End --
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AN: Oh-Kay. So, there it is. I'm not sure if it managed to sum up the whole of the series for you, or if it even managed to meet the standards of what you were all hoping for. I decided to write in 3rd Person format, as opposed to the usual 1st Person outlook, because I wanted the epilogue to be a sort of "outside looking in" perspective on their relationship and what has happened since the last chapter took place. Hopefully it worked out okay for all of you darling readers.
I'd like to give a major thank you and lots and lots of *cuddens* to Kate, who Beta's every stinky and *fugly* chapter of this story. For that matter, props to Misty and Julie as well, because they always tell me what sucks and make me fix it before I upload it for the world : ) You kids are the coolest, indeed. And it's all about a Taurus…or a bar *winks*
Lanie, Taylor and Kenzie - Well, words can't express how much it means to me to get such good feedback from the three of you. I adore your work, and although I'm a lazy-ass who never seems to get around to leaving a review…please know that I think you are all beyond fabulous, and it is your work that inspires me to always do better. You are truly incredible writers, and knowing that you've enjoyed my work brings an smile to my face that won't disappear. Thanks so much.
Andrea and Cathi - Yeah. You know…it's all about the dumbfuckary…phone calls and care packages. Late night research on the 'net. Forgive me for not diving into the smut here this time - it will be accomplished. For I am free and easy…emphasis on the easy. The crazy-ass things you two throw down on paper always inspires me to…expand my horizons *nod* And there ain't nothing better than some good ol' PQ Carbita fuzz…keep it coming, McFreaks.
And to all my lovelies - Melly, you inspire me to write fuzz…if for no other reason than to pull you out of you stupid depressed "Carby's gonna *die*" phase : ) And I love you for it, since I think I suck at the fuzz but you make me do it anyway *cuddens* I'm'a klepto you and keep you in my pocket with Pocket!Abby and Pocket!Maura. Ali, m'twin! You…are my twin. I could not love you more, dude. And hurry up with DTY, because I'm getting impatient. Really, though, thanks for always being there to offer advice on my writing when I was about to have a spaz-attack over something. Heather, Angie, Mary, Becca, etc etc etc - you know who you are - *constant cuddens* You girls are the shit. You pick me up when I'm feeling like my writing is nothing beyond *fugly* and you reassure me about everything. And, ya know, Heather lets me klepto on IRC…*wooks* I luff joo all, major shout out to the LJ kids : )
Everyone at the Carby Board - Well, what can I say? Y'all are crazy, and it's because of you that I re-started my fanfic writing obsession in the first place. I love you all to pieces.
If anyone's interested in reading a very dark, angsty, almost rather *evil* fanfic that will end up nicely fuzzily Carby…let me know. It's not written yet, but the plot is in my head and it'll turn out to be a nice long series…but lots of drama and lots of angst and…yeah, it's kind of blatantly evil at times…*shrugs* Let me know if I should bother writing it…
Anyway, thanks again for reading and for all of you support. It means the world to me.
Hope you all enjoyed the ride : )
--Aimee--
