Author's Note: The second book of TF: Lux Eterna. And yes, this is a completed fic, so don't ask when I'll be updating it, okay? ~_^
Warnings: Death, destruction, mayhem, telepathic teens, robo-yaoi, mostly OCs
Disclaimer: Transformers and it's canon characters belong to Hasbro/Takara. I claim all the OCs and take full responsibility for conjuring up the plotline of this fic. Lyrics quoted as listed.


If You Be Only Human
Chapter 2: On the Ground
And they say that a hero can save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles
Watch as we all fly away

- Chad Kroeger, "Hero"

March 2001

Variance stepped off the transport, surveying the riot of color around him. Greens and browns predominated, the plant life only grudgingly giving ground before the construction crews of Autobot City. He lingered at the edge of the tarmac a moment, watching as Autobots and construction drones worked tirelessly on the scaffolds around the slowly growing city. It was, in a way, an inspiring testament to the Autobot spirit. But, while the supplies with which he had arrived were intended for the city project, his destination was somewhere else entirely.
Stepping off the tarmac, Variance dropped into his retooled vehicle mode for the first time. It felt strange to actually feel a connection with the ground, and yet there was a certain . . . primal fulfillment to feeling the road beneath his tires. He shifted into low gear, determined to ease into this business of tires and traction. Gravel crunched under his tires as he turned onto the rough road connecting Autobot City and the Ark.
Gravel soon gave way to asphalt, the road humming to him as he drove along it. The road cut a peaceful swath through the pines of central Oregon, eventually joining with a major highway. From there, it was easy enough to find his way across the singing bridge arched across the wide rush of water that was the Columbia River, and beyond, to the Ark.

* * * * *

Gravel once more crunched under Variance's tires as he rolled to a stop outside the Ark. He paused for only a moment before transforming once more, a bit overwhelmed to see Prowl waiting under the overhang.
"Variance, correct?"
"Uh, yes sir."
"Good. No kit? I was under the impression this was to be a long-term assignment?"
"Ah, well, I don't really have that much in terms of personal items."
"No, of course not," Prowl murmured, more to himself than to Variance. "You have one week of re-orientation leave, however, you may still be called upon in case of an emergency."
Prowl gave Variance what felt like a very abrupt and perfunctory tour, ending in what looked suspiciously like the lounge of suite quarters. A charcoal grey and black warrior was hunched over the lounge's workstation, tapping furiously at the keypad, his head bobbing slightly to the thumping bass line of the music pouring out of the stereo.
"Neo!"
The warrior glanced back briefly then spun around as he stood up, shock clear in his youthful face. A flick of his wrist and the music died abruptly.
"Uh, sorry, Boss. Didn't hear ya come in," he offered with an apologetic smile.
"Little wonder," Prowl murmured. Rather than appearing chastised, the Mech only grinned wider.
"Yes, well, be that as it may, I am here for a reason. Variance here will be quartering with you."
"Where are we gonna put him? We've already got six."
"This is an eight-occupancy apartment, Neo. Adjust."
"Well, I suppose there's always th--"
"You will not put him on the floor," Prowl reprimanded, but his optics almost held an amused sparkle.
"Oh all right," Neo mumbled, still grinning. "Come on, let's get you settled before he spoils any more fun."
Variance wasn't sure what to think as Prowl walked out of the apartment.
"I've . . . missed something important, haven't I?"
"Important? Like what? And where's your kit?"
"I, um, don't have one."
"Oh, well, um, I guess I can still show you around. This here is the lounge, where we spend a fair amount of time, when we're not out somewhere else. Those two doors lead into the sleep rooms. To your left, the room for Fallout, Striker, Nails, and Duotone. To your right, my room. Okay, okay, mine and Morpheus's room. And now I guess you'll be in with us. There's only two berths in each room, but it's not like that's a big problem, right? Just adjust your cycle a little and I'm sure you'll fit in fine."
"You don't want me here, do you?" Variance murmured, avoiding Neo's gaze by glancing around the lounge.
"What? Oh . . . well, Morph and I have been spoiled, really, having the room all to ourselves. Besides, as cute as you are, how can anyone resist?"
Variance tried not to gape at his new roommate.
"Oh Primus . . . I've embarrassed you, haven't I? I'm sorry. I didn't mean, well, I did mean it, but I didn't mean to embarrass you. Well, um, why don't we forget all about it and I'll just show you the . . . oh boy. . . ."
Variance found himself smiling in spite of himself. A smile that quickly turned into a decidedly less than dignified giggle. He tried to control himself, but the confused look on Neo's face only made him laugh harder. In a moment, they were both laughing.
Neo and Variance were on the floor, laughing like loons, when the door opened. A dark shape blocked most of the door but while he was fairly certain he was making a terrible impression on whoever was standing in the doorway, Variance couldn't stop laughing.
"Well, isn't this a fine sight. Neo, what have you done now?"
Neo coughed a couple times, trying to regain control. But then their optics met again and he broke down into helpless giggles. Variance was starting to actually feel guilty when the bulky black Mech walked over and hauled Neo to his feet. As quickly as they had started, Neo's giggles suddenly cut off. The dark charcoal grey warrior took a moment to compose himself, pulling the other Mech's hand free from his shoulder ridge. In the face of Neo's continued sobriety, Variance found his own laughing calming quickly.
"Morph, this is our new roommate, Variance. Vari, this is Morpheus, our unit commander."
"Pleasure, sir," Variance replied demurely.
"We don't stand on formalities here at home, Variance. Especially not when I return to find you rolling on the floor with Neo," the commander smiled. Variance felt his internal temperature flush with embarrassment at the first impression he must have made on his new commander. Morpheus struck an imposing figure in shades of black and hematite, aristocratic features displaying a warm smile at the moment. He was all around bulkier, boxier than Neo's lanky form, with an air of controlled power, but a gentle demeanor.
"How are you settling in, Variance?"
"Um, well, we still haven't made it to the sleep room," he confessed, fighting back another bout of laughter.
"Neo. . . ."
"Hey, Prowl hand-delivered him. I figure he knows where stuff is. You know what the boss is like. Vari here's probably been on Earth for hours."
"Hours?" Variance asked in confusion.
"According to the logs, he's been on Earth for three hours, and most of that was in transit. Come, Variance, and I'll show you around your new home."
"Hold up! I'll come with you!"
"Neo. . . ."
"Hey, it's my day off, Morph. Come on, Vari."
Variance couldn't help but be amused as Neo snagged his arm and practically dragged him out of the apartment. He was acutely aware of the vibrant energy Neo exuded, an excitement and zest for life that was contagious. Neo and Morpheus shared the duty of escorting him around the Ark, working together with the easy familiarity of partners who had been together a long time. For the first time, he began to wonder where he would fit on the team. Granted, he was only seeing a part of it, but as well as Morpheus and Neo worked together, he suspected this team was already a well-integrated unit, with little to no room for the odd-bot-out: him.
"We have been short two members for so long," Morpheus said suddenly as they walked away from the Ark, "I was beginning to think Prowl was turning us into a unit of six. You have a week of re-orientation ahead of you yet, Variance. Perhaps at the end of that you won't feel so out of place."
"What will it involve? This re-orientation, I mean. And, um, how long is a 'week'?"
Morpheus settled on a rock outcropping, Neo almost immediately perching at his side. Variance smothered a smile at Neo's playful affection as he found an outcropping of his own.
"Prowl leads a daily seminar course on the various cultures of Earth. It is something of an ongoing lecture and discussion series; Neo occasionally sits in on a session. But the typical newcomer takes the course for seven to ten days before cycling on to their more permanent assignment.
"While on Earth, you will frequently run across human time measurements. You will have to adjust to a twenty-four hour day cycle as well. A week is seven days."
Morpheus was about to say more when the raucous cries of disturbed and scolding birds filled the air. A red Autobot car exploded out of the forested margin, half a meter off the ground. A yellow Autobot similarly appeared a moment later. Both landed hard on their tires, kicking up a cloud of dust. Like maniacs, the two vehicles raced up the dirt track to the Ark, fishtailing as they slewed to a halt in a spray of dust and gravel. The yellow Autobot transformed with a smirk.
"Told you I'd beat you, Side."
"Eh, how was I supposed to know you'd sacrifice your precious patina, Sun?"
"Beating you is always worth it, Bro."
"Well," a new voice added, "now that you've shaved a couple of years off my life, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, remind me to never ride with you again."
"Aww, where's your sense of adventure, Dana?" the red Autobot chuckled as an alien being Variance's processors called a human stepped out of the vehicle's passenger compartment.
"Being overruled by my sense of self-preservation, Sideswipe. Now, if you'll excuse me. . . ."
"Sure thing. Have fun with Prowl!" Sideswipe called out as he transformed. "Oh, hey Morpheus, Neo. New transfer?"
"Yeah, fresh off the transport this morning," Neo responded before Variance could speak for himself. "Guys, this is Variance. Vari, I'd like you to meet the near-legendary Lambourghini Twins, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker."
"Oh please . . . you're gonna make Sun's ego even worse," Sideswipe replied as he reached out to clasp arms with Variance. The dusky blue warrior was pleasantly surprised to be greeted as an equal by the grinning Autobot.
"Can it get any worse?" Neo teased. Sunstreaker faked a quick punch to Neo's flank before nodding a greeting. Sideswipe shook his head and gave his brother a playful punch to the shoulder.
"Come on, Bro, be polite. Variance is a warrior too, you know. You're not gonna get civie-cooties, right Var?"
"Tactician in training," he agreed offering his hand to the yellow warrior.
"Oh Prowl's just going to love you," Sunstreaker purred, briefly clasping Variance's hand. Something about his tone of voice was even more disturbing than his unwillingness to meet Variance as an equal. Sideswipe sighed with a martyred look, then herded his brother into the Ark.
"See ya 'round," he called back cheerfully.
"Did I say something wrong?" Variance asked quietly.
"Huh? Oh, Sunstreaker. . . . Nah, he's like that with everyone. Comes off as a superior, unrepentant jerk when you first meet him. Once you get to know him, you find out that, underneath it all, he's really just an egotistical jerk."
"There are other sides to him" Morpheus asserted gently.
"Yeah, all variations on the jerk theme," Neo griped. "Can't deny he's a military powerhouse and a devastating field commander, but he sure don't do a thing to make himself likeable."
"He's not here to make friends," Morpheus murmured, an odd sadness coloring his voice. "He's here to kill Decepticons."
Variance watched the sadness drift from Morpheus to Neo, then echo back again. He didn't know what to say.
After a moment, whatever was bothering his two guides seemed to pass. Neo surged to his feet and wrapped a friendly arm around Variance's shoulders.
"Come on, Vari. How about a road trip? You, me, and I-5. How's that sound?"
"Um. . . ."
"Neo, re-orientation leave doesn't mean Prowl doesn't have plans for him. Besides, your day off won't last much longer."
"Aww, come on Morph. I'm not heading cross-country. I just want to take him down to the gorge."
"Neo. . . ."
"Duck down to Hood River, drive around a little, then straight back. Please?"
"That doesn't even take you near I-5," Morpheus asserted quietly.
"Fewer drivers around, so Vari can adjust to crazy humans easier. You know what they say. Experience is the best way to adapt to the changed alt-mode. Besides, how's he supposed to get orientated to Earth if we don't take him anywhere, hmm? Come on, Morph, please?"
Morpheus remained obstinant for a time, but Neo's pleading look was having the desired impact. With a sigh, Morpheus threw his hands into the air.
"I swear, I don't know why I try with you anymore, Neo. Just be sure you get clearance for this. And try to be back here before night shift ends, all right?"
"Yee-haw! Come on, Vari!"
"Neo! Get clearance!" Morpheus demanded.
"I did! My unit commander said it was okay!" Neo grinned, tugging on Variance's arm.
"Neo, maybe we should ask someone higher up. Just to be safe," he cautioned, trying to subtly free his arm. Neo gasped with an almost scandalized look.
"You want me to go over Morpheus's head?"
"As if you wouldn't have done just that if your pouting hadn't worked," the hematite black commander murmured.
"Hey! I resemble that remark!"
"You two aren't fighting again, are you? What did he do this time, Morpheus?"
"Morph and I don't fight. And why do you just assume this is my fault?" Neo pouted.
"Jazz's Rules for Life, #283: Never blame the priest, if you can help it."
"You do not have two hundred and eighty-three rules for life, Jazz," Neo declared matter-of-factly.
"Well, you're partly right. I have over two thousand," the visored Autobot replied with a grin. "And you must be Variance. Sorry you only had Prowl to meet you earlier; Prime had the rest of the brass in a meeting."
"That's quite all right," he murmured in response as he clasped arms with the communications expert.
"So, what are they arguing about?"
"Ah, well, Neo wants to take me out to a place called Hood River and back. Morpheus approved the trip, so he doesn't see the point in asking someone else."
"Typical," Jazz replied with a wide grin. "Well, as long as you're back by midnight, I don't see any problem with it. I'll log you out myself, in fact. Have fun!"
Variance wasn't sure how much fun he would be having, but Neo's enthusiasm was hard to ignore. By the time they reached a human-created road, he actually found himself enjoying the scenery and even looking forward to reaching their destination.

* * * * *

"This is probably one of my favorite places to be in the evening," Neo murmured. After spending the afternoon driving around, Neo had brought them to a place called Spirit Lake. Reflected stars sparkled on the water's surface and the crisp night air was filled with the sounds of native wildlife.
"I like to come out here and just watch the stars, usually by myself, though sometimes I'll bring Morph."
Variance said nothing, not sure how to respond. He didn't want to intrude on some private place, though by the looks of things, this lake was hardly that.
"We should head back," he said quietly, gazing up at the field of somewhat alien stars. For the first time all day, it struck him just how far he was from everything he had ever known. The sky, filtered through a denser atmosphere than he was accustomed to experiencing and at a different orientation to the galaxy, looked very different from that of Cybertron. Even Cybertron's starscape was different from the spectrum of his youth.
"It's still early, Vari. Come on, pull up some grass and chat awhile."
He saw no point in reminding Neo that they had been chatting for hours, discussing everything from their respective careers to the differences in their sigils - Neo's was spy operative black to his own standard red. Neo had that look that Variance had already learned meant he wouldn't take "no" for an answer. Suppressing the urge to sigh, he settled a carefully polite distance from his teammate, leaning back to stare up at the stars. Neo reclined onto his back, grinning as he folded his hands under his head.
"I'll admit it, this planet has really grown on me," Neo confessed. In the faint light of a thin sliver of a moon, Neo's charcoal grey almost melted into the darkness, his faintly glowing optics floating in the inky night like a pair of pale cobalt e-bugs.
"It is very colorful."
"And alive. There are days when I can lay out here and practically feel the grass growing."
Variance smiled down at Neo, quickly suppressing a bolt of shock at seeing the operative had somehow slid closer. Not enough to be considered improper, but enough to be noticeable. And close enough to make Variance a little uncomfortable.
"So, um, what's the deal with you and Morpheus?" he asked, quickly filling the silence. "I thought having a relationship with your commanding officer was considered improper."
"He wasn't my commander when we bonded," Neo replied, his smile suddenly fading. "Morpheus rescued me from a terrible situation, kept me from making an even worse mistake. He taught me how to control my gift, and quite a few other things as well. I think he resisted the attraction at first because he didn't want to feed into any savior illusions I might have been having. At least, that's what he told himself. With all the training to control my gift, I already knew he wasn't some glittering savior. He was Morpheus and that was enough for me.
"When I was approached to train in special ops, I jumped at the chance and dragged Morpheus along for the ride. Through him, I already knew a fair amount about espionage; he himself had learned a great deal from caring for Remix and building the other Autobot cassettes. We went through the course pretty fast, surprising everybody. Turned out that the kid - me - and the priest - Morpheus - had a knack for covert operations, and a natural partnership, never mind our being bondmates. They kept us together as a working team, and that just strengthened our bond."
So if you're bonded to him, why do you keep flirting with me? Variance thought to himself.
"Go ahead and ask," Neo purred in amusement, his optics dimming slightly.
"Ask what?"
"I know you have a question you're dying to ask. I can practically hear you thinking it from here. So ask already."
"Can not," Variance muttered, keeping his gaze focused out across the lake.
"Can too. And I'm not even a high-grade telepath like Morpheus."
Neo's fingertips touched his cheek and he shied away, startled at the sudden contact.
"Variance?" Neo murmured, a worried frown clear in his tone. Again he reached out to touch Variance, and again Variance shied away.
"Please don't."
"Var? What is it? What's wrong?"
"It may not matter to you, but can we please just be friends first?
"Um, yeah, of course."
An uncomfortable pause hung in the air between them before Neo spoke again: "Variance, what's wrong?"
"I'm going back to the Ark."
"Wait!" Neo called out, and he latched onto Variance's arm, refusing to let him stand. "Talk to me, Var. Don't leave like this."
"Let go of me."
"Not until you tell me what I did to chase you away."
"Neo . . . let go. . . ."
"Please, Vari. We were together all afternoon and you didn't act like this."
"You weren't touching me then," he hissed. Something sparked in Neo's optics and an odd warmth suddenly rose from the contact point of his hand. Variance flinched and tried to pull away again.
"Release me. . . ."
"Variance, I really do want to spend more time with you. . . ."
"Please don't make this any harder than it already is."
Variance finally pulled free. Stepping away from Neo, he dropped into vehicle mode, then paused to get his bearings.
"If not me . . . Morpheus is a good listener."
He said nothing, simply drove back towards the Ark. Now there would be tension in the team, and Variance couldn't help thinking it was all his fault. Maybe he would talk to Prowl about a change of team. He didn't need to be disrupting a good team with his personal problems.
I'm sorry, Neo, he thought to himself. It's not you. It's me.