Chapter 11 - "If we sleep together, will I like you
better?" - Michaela's Story
January 22nd, 2000 - San Fernando Valley, California

"'Desperate, But Not Serious', starring Claudia Schiffer and Christine Taylor", the screen read. I picked up my coke and took a sip. Rod was taking me to the movies to see something with his favourite model in it. I saw him lean forward to take in the close-up on Claudia Schiffer's ..... hmmm. Right. Whatever.
I leant back into my seat and rolled my eyes. I'd been dating Rod for three months now, and we were actually getting along pretty well. I mean, we weren't exactly best friends or anything but we knew each other pretty well. As well as you'd know anyone you hung out with once a week and spoke to a little, anyway. We were like acquaintances..... acquaintances who happened to make out as well. I didn't want anything more than that anyway, at least not with Rod. Rod was only Rod and not especially intelligent or deep. I know this sounds really bitchy, but if someone better came along, I'd dump him in a second. I was sure he'd do the same.
At any rate, we made a better couple than Tweedle-Tay and Gwen, who were still in some sort of limbo. Gwen was madly infatuated with Tay and he was still totally oblivious. He was probably just pretending so that he didn't have to tell Gwen he wasn't interested. Gwen had given up on spreading the gay rumours, which had gotten her absolutely nowhere, and was now playing the sweet, innocent, girl next door. It was almost pitiful. You'd think she'd have given up by now.
Tweedle-Tay was doing really well at school as well. So well that I was kind of jealous. He came first in music and I only came third. He also came just one place behind me in English. I know I should have been pleased for him, but I was supposed to be the smart one in our family. I'd helped him out in all these subjects and now he was almost overtaking me in them. He was supposed to be in awe of my intelligence, not finally understanding that the world wasn't created in seven days and that there was a phenomenon called evolution.
But, you know, I was doing well too. I'd gotten straight A's and I'd come first in Math and top ten in everything else. But still, I was supposed to be the smarter twin. He was the cuter twin, I was the smarter twin. That was the way it worked at our house. How dare he try to steal my place! I tensed my hand and felt my packet of chips crush. I winced. Rod looked over at me. I smiled and shrugged. He went back to ogling at Claudia Schiffer. I rolled my eyes and smiled. I was so silly! Of course Tay was as smart as I was - we were twins. That meant I was as cute as he was. Good. We could be equally good. Being equally good was way better than being better or having someone better than you, because you felt neither guilty, nor pathetic. I sat up again, pleased with myself.
I finally turned my attention to the screen. Claudia was playing a beautiful, but klutzy romantic heroine who was having problems finding love. As if! Claudia Schiffer could have whoever she wanted! Why did they make characters in movies so beautiful anyway? It wasn't like anyone was that pretty anyway, or at least no one I knew was. Claudia was meeting the guy she was obviously going to end up with. Brad Pitt. Guys weren't that good looking in real life, and if they were even nearly so good looking, they certainly weren't very nice. Not in my experience, anyway.
Claudia was being picked up now. I wished I had her problems in love. She was better off than anyone I knew. I felt something wet in my ear. Rod's tongue. I grimaced. I had to get around to telling Rod that that was off, not sexy. I mean, who wants to get ear wax in their mouth? I turned to Rod. "Rod, I'm trying to watch the movie," I said sweetly, making my eyes wide. "Could you leave it for later?"
Rod looked surprised, but nodded. "Sure babe," he said.
I smiled to myself and leant back down into my seat.

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Claudia and Brad rode off into the sunset. How romantic. How unrealistic. In real life, if they were such a perfect couple, and looked so good together and were really well suited, there'd be something in the way, like he'd die, or be psychopathic, or he wouldn't like her. Movies could be so dumb. Rod turned to me. "What a chick-flick," he said.
How ironic. Rod took me to see a film that I didn't like and he didn't like either. "'Chicks' don't always like fluffy crap," I said.
"Ooooo, someone's in a bad mood tonight," Rod said. "No movie make- out and now this? Is it that time of the month?"
Rod and I got out of our seats and began to walk out of the theatre. I didn't have my period, but an excuse was an excuse. "Yeah, I've got such awful cramps," I whined.
Rod put his arm around me sympathetically. "Poor Michaela," he said. "You know what they say makes those cramps better?"
We walked out of the Valley Mall into the car park. "Oh Rod, you know I hate sport!"
Rod smiled. "No, no. We'll go back to my house first and I'll make you a hot chocolate," he said, opening the car door for me to hop in.
Rod was so considerate. I unlocked his side of the car for him and touched the smooth leather seats of the car. It must have cost a fortune. A show-off car for sure. Rod hopped in. "Thanks," I said. "Can I have TimTams too?" I asked.
"Anything for you," Rod replied.
"Cool," I said, adjusting the radio station from techno central to a station that was playing MMMPop. Sure, the song sucked, but it brought back memories of a happier, more innocent time. Innocence was dead now.
"Oh Kay, what are you doing playing this teenybopper shit?" Rod complained. We drove out of the car park.
I smiled sweetly. "It brings back memories....."
"You are a sicko! What sort of person would make out to a bunch of guys that look like girls?" Rod was disgusted.
I frowned. Rod was the one with the sick mind, not me. "I didn't make out to it, and they don't look like girls. Those are my bro-" I stopped myself and bit my lip.
Rod smiled. "You look so cute when you're angry." He looked at me again. "You know, you look heaps like the middle one."
"So now you say I look like a guy!?!" I gasped. "What sort of friend are you?"
"I'm sorry. You don't look anything like him." Rod looked annoyed and sped up the car.
"Right. He's a guy, I'm a girl, and we're not even distantly related."

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"Hi Michaela," Mrs. Rilkens said, as Rod and I walked into the kitchen. She was really pretty, with long light brown hair and blue eyes. She only looked about thirty, although she was actually forty-five. Of course, living in LA, she'd probably had a few routine facelifts and liposuctions, but still....
"Hi, Mrs. Rilkens," I said, smiling. I sat down at the kitchen table.
"Hi Mom," Rod said, sitting down as well. "Get Michaela a hot chocolate and TimTams."
I raised my eyebrows, as did Rod's mother. "I'm not your slave, Rod," she said. "Why don't you get Michaela a hot chocolate, I'm going to go and watch 'NYPD Blue'." She picked up a cup of tea from the bench and walked towards the door. "Don't stay up to late, okay? And make sure you're taking Michaela home by 11pm honey, I don't want any funny business going on in my house." She left the room.
"Sure Mom," Rod said, rolling his eyes. He turned to me. "We should have gone to your house."
"No," I said, surprised. What did Rod mean? "I like your house. It's nice......."
Rod got up and began to boil milk. "We'll go up to my room once I've finished making this, okay?"
"Sure......"
Rod and I sat for a few minutes in silence. Finally the milk boiled and Rod fixed the hot chocolate. I stood up and walked over to the bench. "Thanks," I said, taking the mug and TimTams. I flinched from the heat of the mug. Rod started to walk out of the kitchen and I followed.
"Why'd you get so annoyed about the Manson references earlier?" he asked. "Did you have a crush on them or something?"
"No!" I said, a little too quickly. "I mean, I just think that, you know, Neuton was a real jerk but Tweedle-Tay was cool and Grubbery was sweet, in an non-sexual way, of course."
Rod opened up the door to his bedroom and I walked in and settled myself on his black desk chair. "I think the Manson's were really scarily goody-goody and the middle one was definitely a girl." He sat down on his bed.
I didn't know what to say. I mean, Rod was half-right (in the goody- goody bit), but he was also Rod and I didn't want to give hit private info about my family. "Well, I think the children themselves were okay, but I think that maybe something weird was going on with their parents," I said carefully, dipping my biscuit into my hot chocolate.
Rod actually looked thoughtful for a second and then smiled. "You're right. They were all so blonde and....." Rod paused in thought.
"Puritanical?" I suggested.
"What does that mean?"
"Religious in an extreme and bad way," I said, simply, for Rod.
"Yeah. Anyway, it was just too good to be true." Rod looked at me and smiled. "You are so smart Michaela."
"Thanks," I said, smiling. "Why would you say that?"
"You use all these long words and you can figure out stuff about people," he explained. He shifted on the bed. "Come and sit down," he said, motioning for me to come over.
I gave a little smile and sat down next to Rod. "You are so pretty Michaela," Rod said awkwardly. See - there was another thing about Rod. He was supposed to be really good looking and experienced and all that, but, well while he certainly was experienced (if he was a girl, he'd be labeled a slut) he didn't have a lot to show for it, if you know what I mean. It was as though all those girls he'd made out with were too overcome by his popularity and power to tell him how crap he was. As for me, I couldn't be bothered. It wasn't as though I was going to be with Rod for any significant amount of time. I was just waiting for someone with substance to come along. But for now, Rod kept Tay away, and that was good enough for me.
As usual, I began to let Rod kiss me. I shuddered when his tongue entered my mouth, remembering where it had been earlier that evening. Apart from that though, it was okay, quite nice actually. Once Rod came up with an excuse to make out, he was actually pretty good. We lay back onto the bed. I looked around Rod's room, subtly of course, because I would never want Rod to think he wasn't the most fantastic person on earth. He had so many poster of girls in swimmers on the walls and motor bikes and cars and other crap like that. Actually, I didn't have to look very hard to see all the posters, because directly above my head there was a poster of Pammie Anderson, half falling off the ceiling. God! Even Tweedle-Tay had more sense than that.
I felt Rod's hand going underneath my shirt. Shit! What was I going to do? Obviously I wasn't prudish but Rod was Rod. I had decided that kissing a guy you were only attracted to and no more was fine but..... I looked into Rod's eyes. There was something there, in their deep blue, that I hadn't noticed before, some sort of forcefulness that was all too familiar. I yelped. Rod had Tweedle-Tay's eyes.
Rod got up from on top of me. "What's wrong Michaela? Did I....?"
I sat up and bit my lip. "Oh, it's not your fault Rod. I just don't want to go further."
Rod got up off the bed and went to sit on the chair. His movements were violent. "God Michaela! What is with you? I've been going out with you for three whole months and - nothing. I mean, it's bad enough that I've had to go without sex for so long but..... You won't do anything! Are you frigid or something?" Rod was pissed off.
How dare Rod try to make me feel guilty. I was going out with him, wasn't I? What did he expect? "Look," I sad, trying to remain calm. "I just, look, it brings back bad memories. Back when I was living in Oklahoma..... I had a really bad experience. I was in a really perverted relationship and.... I lost my virginity to the wrong guy, okay? And I really don't feel like sex or anything like it. If you have a problem with that, we can end the relationship right now, but you have to understand, I'm not going to sleep with you."
Rod put his hands up in anger. "We weren't anywhere near sex Michaela, so don't pull that crap with me! Even if we would have had sex it wouldn't have been a problem. We've been going out for ages Michaela!"
I rolled my eyes. "Rod, it's not going to happen tonight, or anytime.... So, you know, there are plenty of girls who would sleep with you after one night and we all know who they are, so if that's what you want, go out with them. I don't care!"
Rod frowned. "Well, to tell you the truth, I would go out with them but -" His face softened. "You are just so pretty Michaela, and I can't see Claudia or Pammie calling me up anytime soon so we'll just leave it as it is."
What sort of twisted compliment was that? "Well," I said carefully. "I'd best be going home now."
"Sure," Rod said, leading the way out of the room.
I let out a little sigh of relief. No more eye-contact, that was for sure.