Chapter 18 - Michaela's Story
October 20, 1997 - Secret location, England

Okay, so I guess you're a little confused. Who died? Tweedle-Tay? Michaela? Well, let me put it this way, this is not the kind of kitschy story that has reports from beyond the grave. That's right, my pathetic attempt at suicide failed. But it really wasn't my fault. How was I supposed to know that Neuton had an incestuous crush on Tweedle-Tay? I couldn't possibly have known that. But now.............
I convinced the Manson's to bury Tweedle-Tay, who they still believed was me, in their back yard, along with other family members. Neuton wanted to throw him into a lake but I knew they couldn't do that or they'd simply die when they discovered that Tweedle-Tay was dead and that I was taking his place. I mean, they'd be horrified anyway, but if they thought they'd thrown him away like a piece of rubbish.......... They'd find out who I really was soon. How long could I go on pretending to be a famous member of the opposite sex? They'd find out sooner or later, probably sooner.
I felt someone grab me from behind. I screamed and turned around. It was only Grubbery. "Hi Tay!" he said.
"Uh, hi Grubbery."
"What are you getting me for my birthday?"
Grubbery's twelfth birthday was in two days time and I'd completely forgotten. "I don't know....... what do you want?"
"A new game for the Playstation, speaking of which......." Grubbery began.
Neuton entered the room. "Tay, Grub, it's time to practice. We have to write a couple of Christmas carols for the new album."
"Right," I said, and Grubbery and I followed Neuton into a room towards the back of the house we were renting. A man I had never seen before was sitting there. Neuton and Grubbery said hello and sat down. I stood there dumbfounded.
"Tweedle-Tay, great to see you again," the man said warmly. I had no idea how to answer.
"Earth to Tweedle-Tay!" Grubbery screamed.
"Don't you remember me?" the man asked. All I could do is shake my head.
Neuton rolled his eyes. "It's Christopher Sabec, our manager. What is wrong with you Tweedle-Tay? Anyone would think Michaela was still here the way you're carrying on. Don't worry. She's gone and we can all be happy again."
I quickly regained my composure. "I knew it was Chris, I was just having you all on." I laughed loudly. The others joined in weakly as I sat down.
Christopher looked serious. "Boys, today we have to get down to business. We have to write a couple of good Christmas songs. Tay, do you have any suggestions? You've always been good at this sort of thing."
I couldn't think of anything to say. Everything that came to mind was just crap. But I had to say something. "How about this for lyrics." I cleared my throat. "I walk through the department store, the displays are always such a bore, but when I see a Christmas tree, a passion wave comes over me. It's that time of year, Christmas is here, and all I wanna do, is spend it with you, yeah, woah, bop a doo............"

*********************

That evening when we were eating dinner, both Grubbery and Neuton were eyeing me strangely, Neuton more strangely than Grubbery. Finally Neuton said, "Tweedle-Tay was acting strangely today." I nearly choked on my steak.
"Really?" said my mother absentmindedly.
"Yes," he continued. "Today when we were practising he forgot who Chris was, made up some stupid lyrics about a department store at Christmas, sang about half an octave higher and forgot the lyrics to half our songs. His keyboard playing wasn't nearly up to scratch and he seems about an inch shorter."
"Oh no!" said Kestrel. "He's not sick is he?'
Neuton laughed. "No Kessie, I wouldn't say that." He paused dramatically. "What I think has happened is........ I shot the wrong twin."
My father's face began to turn red. "You shot you're brother?????? The person sitting at our table is not Tweedle-Tay???? It's Michaela????"
"Yes," I choked. "It's me."
"I was right!!!!!" he yelled. "You did kill my son!!!!!"
"I did not shoot your son!" I said calmly. "The shooting was like, totally not my fault. I attempted suicide so that Tweedle-Tay could live. I tried to convince Neuton that I wasn't Tweedle-Tay by doing something that Tweedle-Tay would never do. I kissed Neuton. I wasn't to know that Neuton had an incestuous crush on Tweedle-Tay."
Neuton was embarrassed and angry. "Me? Incestuous? If anyone was incestuous it was you and Tweedle-Tay. Mom, Dad, you should have seen them together, holding hands, hugging........."
"Tweedle-Tay and I were not incestuous in the least. We were only friends, like any brother and sister. I fell over, Tweedle-Tay took my hand to help me up. And isn't it normal to hug?" I defended myself.
Dad was pacing up and down. "This is great. Just great. The tabloids are going to love this. What are we going to say? Tweedle-Tay has been murdered and Neuton was the one who shot him? I think not. Michaela is going to have to take Tweedle-Tay's place, permanently."
"No way! I'm not going to pretend to be a guy for the rest of my life," I protested.
"Then we'll just say that Tweedle-Tay was really Michaela and a girl all along."
"The public is not going to buy that," my mother said.
"Oh they will, believe me, they will," my father confirmed.
I was shocked. Saying that Tweedle-Tay was a girl was weird but my father didn't seem to be upset at all about my twin brother's death. The others all had tears in their eyes and Kestrel and Elizabeth were crying openly but my father was only concerned about the future of the band. It was ridiculous.