Chapter 19 - Handsome Bill's Story
November 5, 1997 - Paris, France
Today was the day. Probably the most exciting day of our competition winner Sarah's life and pretty high up on the scale for me, considering the ratings we'd get. Today I would be interviewing the band Manson for the entire three hours of my radio show "Handsome Bill's Hot 30" and Sarah would meet them. I wasn't into Manson myself, but they were nice enough guys and the little girls who listened to my show were obsessive over them so............. My co-host Wacky-Jo came in with three mugs of coffee for Sarah, me and herself. "Are you excited?" she asked Sarah, in a syrupy voice.
Sarah nodded. "I can't wait to meet Tweedle-Tay," she said breathlessly. "He's so hot. Maybe, if we meet and I act like it's no big deal he might go for me. Do you think that might happen?"
Of course, I knew that it was not going to happen and I laughed at her inside my head but I said, "Sure. Anything's possible." Of course, some things are more possible than others.......
"Sarah," Wacky-Jo continued, "the guys will be here in a few minutes and you don't officially meet them until half way through the show so it might be nice if you would just go and sit in that sound proof booth over there okay? You'll be able to see and hear the show and everything but you're not allowed to talk to the guys - and flirt with Tay - until halfway through the show, okay?"
Sarah nodded and Wacky-Jo lead her into the sound proof booth. Wacky- Jo fixed up her make-up and we went through the show. Soon we were paged. "Uh, Bill, Wacky, the Mansons are here. There's something you just have to see."
"Send them on up," I replied, raising my eyebrows at Wacky-Jo. And my god - when the Manson's came up there was something to see. Tweedle-Tay was wearing a leather mini-skirt and skintight red shirt. What was more Tweedle-Tay had breasts. I looked over towards Sarah in the sound proof booth. Her mouth was gaping in shock. "Hi," I said. "The show's about to start. We'll chat in a minute." We played the intro to our show and then I said, "Here we are broadcasting live from Paris again, it's inside this time because it was damn cold outside last time-"
"Yep," Wacky interrupted. "Too cold."
"And we're at the Time Studio in la France and I can hear, in the background the distant sound of................ Manson!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Manson??" screamed Grubbery. "Where? Where?"
"Manson are here??" Neuton joined in. "My lord, I love that band."
"You like that band?" Tweedle-Tay asked disbelievingly. "I hate that band. They are like, so lame. Their clothes, their hair, their music, yuck!"
"Anyway," I continued. "We have Manson here for three whole hours and I do believe we have a bit of a scoop for you. Be back in a moment after "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" at number 30." I turned off the mike and looked at Tweedle-Tay in disbelief. "Had a sex change have we?" I asked jokingly.
"Not exactly," he replied. "I'll explain later."
"Okay," I said. It was unusual. I couldn't think of anything to say. The Manson's had caught me totally by surprise. The song ended and I turned the mike back on. "Well, we're back again too and so are your favourite band, Manson. Now you're not here in the studio like we are but if you were you'd be shocked at what you saw. Tweedle-Tay is wearing a dress."
"Well," said Grubbery. "That's because Tweedle-Tay is not Tweedle- Tay. Tweedle-Tay is Michaela, our fourteen year old sister."
"I couldn't pretend to be a guy any longer," said Tweedle- Tay/Michaela.
"Right. May I ask you why you pretended to be a guy in the first place?"
"Our manager thought we would be more popular that way. I'm sick of girls throwing themselves at me. I never expected that to happen. It makes me feel uncomfortable when they do that," Michaela continued.
"Then you won't like meeting Sarah!" Wacky-Jo chortled.
I looked behind me into Sarah's booth. She was staring down at us in shock. "Well," I said. "This revelation that you are in fact a girl is quite amusing because many people have said that you looked like a girl in the past and Manson have always been shocked and distraught by the rumours."
"I look like a girl because I am a girl," Michaela replied.
"Manson were upset about the rumours because although Michaela is a girl, I am not and neither is Grubbery," Neuton added.
"You say that you pretended to be a guy because your manager thought that it would make the band more successful. Why do you think.....?"
November 5, 1997 - Paris, France
Today was the day. Probably the most exciting day of our competition winner Sarah's life and pretty high up on the scale for me, considering the ratings we'd get. Today I would be interviewing the band Manson for the entire three hours of my radio show "Handsome Bill's Hot 30" and Sarah would meet them. I wasn't into Manson myself, but they were nice enough guys and the little girls who listened to my show were obsessive over them so............. My co-host Wacky-Jo came in with three mugs of coffee for Sarah, me and herself. "Are you excited?" she asked Sarah, in a syrupy voice.
Sarah nodded. "I can't wait to meet Tweedle-Tay," she said breathlessly. "He's so hot. Maybe, if we meet and I act like it's no big deal he might go for me. Do you think that might happen?"
Of course, I knew that it was not going to happen and I laughed at her inside my head but I said, "Sure. Anything's possible." Of course, some things are more possible than others.......
"Sarah," Wacky-Jo continued, "the guys will be here in a few minutes and you don't officially meet them until half way through the show so it might be nice if you would just go and sit in that sound proof booth over there okay? You'll be able to see and hear the show and everything but you're not allowed to talk to the guys - and flirt with Tay - until halfway through the show, okay?"
Sarah nodded and Wacky-Jo lead her into the sound proof booth. Wacky- Jo fixed up her make-up and we went through the show. Soon we were paged. "Uh, Bill, Wacky, the Mansons are here. There's something you just have to see."
"Send them on up," I replied, raising my eyebrows at Wacky-Jo. And my god - when the Manson's came up there was something to see. Tweedle-Tay was wearing a leather mini-skirt and skintight red shirt. What was more Tweedle-Tay had breasts. I looked over towards Sarah in the sound proof booth. Her mouth was gaping in shock. "Hi," I said. "The show's about to start. We'll chat in a minute." We played the intro to our show and then I said, "Here we are broadcasting live from Paris again, it's inside this time because it was damn cold outside last time-"
"Yep," Wacky interrupted. "Too cold."
"And we're at the Time Studio in la France and I can hear, in the background the distant sound of................ Manson!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Manson??" screamed Grubbery. "Where? Where?"
"Manson are here??" Neuton joined in. "My lord, I love that band."
"You like that band?" Tweedle-Tay asked disbelievingly. "I hate that band. They are like, so lame. Their clothes, their hair, their music, yuck!"
"Anyway," I continued. "We have Manson here for three whole hours and I do believe we have a bit of a scoop for you. Be back in a moment after "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" at number 30." I turned off the mike and looked at Tweedle-Tay in disbelief. "Had a sex change have we?" I asked jokingly.
"Not exactly," he replied. "I'll explain later."
"Okay," I said. It was unusual. I couldn't think of anything to say. The Manson's had caught me totally by surprise. The song ended and I turned the mike back on. "Well, we're back again too and so are your favourite band, Manson. Now you're not here in the studio like we are but if you were you'd be shocked at what you saw. Tweedle-Tay is wearing a dress."
"Well," said Grubbery. "That's because Tweedle-Tay is not Tweedle- Tay. Tweedle-Tay is Michaela, our fourteen year old sister."
"I couldn't pretend to be a guy any longer," said Tweedle- Tay/Michaela.
"Right. May I ask you why you pretended to be a guy in the first place?"
"Our manager thought we would be more popular that way. I'm sick of girls throwing themselves at me. I never expected that to happen. It makes me feel uncomfortable when they do that," Michaela continued.
"Then you won't like meeting Sarah!" Wacky-Jo chortled.
I looked behind me into Sarah's booth. She was staring down at us in shock. "Well," I said. "This revelation that you are in fact a girl is quite amusing because many people have said that you looked like a girl in the past and Manson have always been shocked and distraught by the rumours."
"I look like a girl because I am a girl," Michaela replied.
"Manson were upset about the rumours because although Michaela is a girl, I am not and neither is Grubbery," Neuton added.
"You say that you pretended to be a guy because your manager thought that it would make the band more successful. Why do you think.....?"
