Chapter 18 - "Hug me till you drug me honey, Kiss me till I'm in ....." -
Grubbery's Story
March 30th 2000 - Tulsa, Oklahoma

"Grubby honey!" my mother called in a sugary sweet voice.
I sat up on my bed and looked for an escape route. My bedroom window was fairly close to a tree. If only..... I ran towards the window and opened it. I had one leg out when my mother entered the room.
"Grubbery!" she screamed, he voice now less sugary. "What in heaven do you think you're doing! Get back inside now!"
I reluctantly climbed back in through the window and turned to face her. "What now?" I asked, annoyed.
"This!" she said, impatiently, holding up a bundle of papers. "Do you know what this is?"
I raised my eyebrows. "Paper?" I asked sarcastically.
She frowned, walked over, and grabbed me by the ear. "Don't be smart with me, Grubbery," she said, dragging me over to my bed and sitting me down. I rubbed my ear. She waved the papers in my face. "This Grubbery! Look at this!"
"It's a bit hard when you're waving them around like that...." I mumbled. She handed the papers to me. It was my English assignment. "My book report?" I asked, pretending to be surprised. I made my eyes wide and innocent. "Don't you like it Mom?" I asked, making myself look hurt.
She shook her head furiously. "No, Grubbery. It's lies, all lies," she pursed her lips and paused. "I asked you to do a non-fiction book and you did 'The Rise and Fall of the Third Chimpanzee' which is just - where did you even get it from anyway?"
"The place most people go to for books.... the library."
Mom frowned and put her head in her hands. She sighed and looked back up at me. "Grubbery, your father and I are very worried about you. Everybody knows that humans and chimpanzees are very different animals. Nothing in common what-so-ever. You've known this ever since you were a little boy but -" she paused again and smiled. "The Lord made people in his own image. Chimpanzees, they have nothing in common with God. They're just dumb animals."
I didn't comment. What was there to say?
She took my hand. "Your father and I are very worried about you. We don't understand it, we never had problems like this with Neuton, but you and - well you know, you both started to run into trouble when you were about fourteen. Grubbery, we've brought you up well but you're becoming, how can I put this? Please don't be offended by this but you're a little -" she looked away from me, tears brimming in her eyes. "Left of the middle," she whispered. She shook her head. "You don't even play with your paintball gun anymore. A nice waste of money that was....."
She obviously wanted me to contribute to the conversation. "Mom! Adolescence is all about rebellion and learning to become your own person. I still believe in the Lord," I said, crossing myself, "But I'm now aware that some of the things this family does," I looked at her meaningfully, "Are wrong."
My mother frowned and shook her head furiously. "No Grub. Your daddy and I have always, well almost always, obeyed God's will. God's will is always right. But you, you're not obeying God's words. We're worried about you. We think it might be best if you went somewhere where you could nurture your spiritual side for a while like -"
"Like the attic??" I screamed, jumping up off the bed.
She blushed. "Well it is a good thinking space but I was thinking more along the lines of living with a priest for a while. It's not that we don't want you and love you, we're just afraid of losing you."
They wanted to do to me what they did to my older brother and sister. What did they think I was - an idiot? They thought they could send me away to live with a gay priest and I'd come back MORE chaste and pure. I didn't think so! I shook my head. "Do you think I'm stupid or something?"
She frowned. "No......"
"Then why the fuck are you trying to emotionally abuse me like you did Tay and Kay?"
She shuddered when I swore, and when I said the names. "We're not trying to abuse you, we're trying to make you more.... pure," she said carefully, her hands fluttering up to her neck, as they always did when she was nervous.
"Oh get fucked!" I yelled, walking quickly out of my bedroom. Sometimes I had to get away from my psychopathic, teenybopper, family, and now was one of those times. I made my way down to the garage where the 400cc motorbike that I'd bought back in my Manson days was lying. I opened the garage door, hopped on the bike and rode away, before my heavily pregnant mother could catch up with me.
I rode down the street, enjoying the wind rushing against my face. I realised that I'd forgotten my helmet but, what the hell, it was good to live on the edge sometimes. My parents were so mentally deranged, my older brother was a right-wing nazi, my little sisters were stupid teenyboppers... Mackie was okay and Zoe was too young to tell. I remembered Tay and Kay. Tay was so cool. We'd been best friends. We'd never fought. Okay, not NEVER, but at least he was good fun and not evil. And Michaela, she was so pretty and bubbly and good natured. They were the best members of my family and they weren't even here.
I wondered what was going on in their lives. Were they living normally? Were they happy? Did they ever think about me, about getting me out of this asylum? I hoped they did. I thought about them. If they didn't think about me, I'd have no one. Were they even together? Were they.....?
I headed towards Cherrybrook Road, the main road in Tulsa, and quickly checked for any coming cars. Good, there were none, so I decided not to stop before going through the intersection. It was good to live on the edge sometimes. Just as I was starting to cross the intersection I heard a truck coming. I placed my foot on the brake and I heard the screech of the truck in my panic. My bike stopped at the beginning of the intersection but I did not and neither did the truck. I flew through the air and felt my head smash against the truck as it came to a halt.
"Fuck!" screamed the truck diver, climbing out of the truck. "Are you okay son?"
I tried to life my head to reassure him but everything was going fuzzy. "I'm, I'm..... asklfasfl...." I mumbled, as everything went black.