More Incredibly Secret Diaries of Smallville

Jonathan Kent

Monday: Fooey. Set Lex Luthor up for the "tell him to milk the cows then see what he does when he comes to the bull" trick. He didn't fall for it. Just said that he suspected the bull would either not appreciate it or appreciate it too much. I had a camera ready and everything. He'd have wanted to kill me!
Tuesday: Lex is out of the house. Left a pair of underpants. Am now contemplating sending them back "from Bill the Bull. Thanks for the memories." Maybe not. Bill might kill me.
Wednesday: Took a while to explain to Martha when she saw me looking at underpants and grinning. She finally said she believed me. Didn't quite catch the last part about that being easier to believe than that her radar was so faulty. Scared she was going to kill me for a bit.
Friday: That spaceship is being pretty uppity for something that Clark was in for a couple of weeks without diapers or trips outside, if you get my drift. Will remind him that I have pictures of him in Muppet pajamas if he gets ideas. Rule that, son! But if he looks like he might kill me, will reconsider.