Chapter Ten: In Which Shinji Reveals His Reluctance to Join Asuka in her Search for the Sixth Angel

It was a crisp, sweet summer morning in August on the mainland. The pines and cedars, awash with the sun's glorious half-lit flames, simmered gracefully amongst the swirling clouds in the upper atmosphere; lit like iridescent stones, they silently beckoned to all timid creatures who would otherwise have no excuse to linger. The cherry trees and innumerable ferns painted their dusky greens and reds in swathing streaks, as if brushed with a clumsy hand, across the hazy cloud-dimmed horizon; the bitter-sweet memories of cherry blossoms withered away into the far reaches of the mountain tops in so many sun-flecked specks, accompanied by the heavy earthy fragrance of rain tossed soil. Far in the empty sky a solitary esophagus slept upon motionless wing; everywhere brooded stillness, serenity, and the peace of God.

This inspiring scenery was largely ignored by our two protagonists as they walked through the city of Tokyo, heading towards adventure unknown and previously unimagined. Shinji trailed behind Asuka, who was walking with a purposed quickness.

"Asuka, slow down for a second!" Shinji cried in protest as she walked onward, ignoring him, "We can't just leave!"

"We're not 'just leaving'," she explained, not even giving him a backward glance, "I already asked the Commander if we could go, and he said it was okay."

Hearing this, Shinji paused in mid step. Although the fact that his father had allowed the girl to stay in their home, and in his room specifically, had been very surprising, allowing the two of them to go wandering off to God-knows-where was simply unbelievable. The only explanation was that his father had lost his mind completely. Unless she was lying…

"But why?" he asked, catching up to walk beside her, "I mean... where are we going?"

"The pacific," she answered simply. "We can't expect all the angels to just come right to us. Some of them have to be baited."

"But I think…" Shinji began, his words of protest dying before they were articulated. It was obvious that Asuka was intent on doing whatever she planned to do, and Shinji knew that anything he said would only delay the inevitable, at best.

"But you think what?" Asuka asked, irritated. "If you don't have any questions, just be patient and wait until we get there."

After a short moment of silence, Shinji nodded complacently (though Asuka wasn't looking in his direction and therefore had no idea that he had responded) and sighed. He didn't ask 'Why are we heading for the Pacific Ocean on foot?' or 'How did you convince my father to let us go?' or even 'How are we going to bait the Angel into attacking us?' He just followed behind her and prepared himself for whatever troubles she intended to bring down on them.

"Well, if you insist on knowing every single minute detail," Asuka said sarcastically, shaking her head in feigned frustration, "We're going after Gaghiel. The presence of Unit-02 should be enough to draw him out once we get deep enough into the Pacific, and then the two of us can defeat it. We just have to get a ship to take us out there."

"Gaghiel?"

"I already told you this" she said, rolling her eyes, "The Sixth Angel. It's one of the biggest and hardest to fight. It has huge teeth and it'll probably try to swallow us whole."

"Umm… do you have a plan… or something…?" Shinji asked hesitantly, not wanting to lend credence to her madness by once again pretending to accept her wild explanations and imaginary delusional fantasies, but still curious.

"Well, I figure it'll be easy enough," she said, shrugging, "Once I show them Unit 02 they'll have to help us out. Who could turn down NERV? They'll be scared out of their minds. So we can just use some random… fishing freight or something."

"But… shouldn't we be going towards Tokyo Bay then?" he suggested timidly.

She turned, and glared at him angrily, again stopping him in his tracks. "Shinji, how can you be this ignorant about your own damn city!?" she demanded loudly, pointing her finger at his chest, "Tokyo Bay was in Old Tokyo. You live in Tokyo-3. Are you stupid?"

"S-sorry…" he said, "I just thought that…"

"If that's the kind of thing you're going to say, you should stop thinking and just do what I tell you." She closed her eyes and sighed deeply, arms folded across her chest. "Dealing with you is so tiring sometimes."

Disdainfully, she turned her back on him and proceeded forward, with Shinji following close behind. They walked onward for several moments, in awkward silence, before Shinji dared to speak again. "Uh, Asuka…?"

She came to an abrupt stop, almost causing Shinji to walk right into her. "What."

He reconsidered his decision to speak, but decided that he had no choice but to continue. "Uh, where exactly is 'Unit Zero Two'?"

She resumed walking, and spoke in a loud, clear voice, "Nerv has it, of course. I can't exactly carry it around in my pocket."

"But then, how are we going to use it, if Nerv has it?"

She glanced back at him, smiling a little. She seemed well prepared for the question. "I worked it all out with the Commander. Don't worry about it."

"Oh."

Again, she had worked it out with 'The Commander'. Once again, his father had agreed to her demands. Why?

"Hurry up, Shinji. Stop lagging behind."

His father, who never seemed to listen to a word that he said, was just willing to do whatever Asuka wanted? She could stay in his room, go to his school, take him away from the city… and he even agreed to provide her with an imaginary robot!

"Shinji? Come on, let's go."

His cheek still stung from her slap, a slap that was completely undeserved. She had, in fact, been the one to initiate the kiss and he hadn't actually lied to his friends about anything. She was the one that caused all the problems, but she was always yelling at him, as if he was to blame.

"Are you even listening to me!?"

"You should just kick her to the curb," his friend had said, the previous day. It made sense. Asuka was trouble. She was insane. Period.

"Stop ignoring me!"

Swallowing thickly, Shinji spoke in a voice that was shakily semi-firm, "Asuka… I don't want to go."

"You don't want to go? Why the hell not?"

Many brusque answers came to mind in regard to that particular question, but he chose a milder reply instead. "I… just don't want to. Just go without me."

Asuka whipped about, almost snarling. "What the hell is wrong with you anyway!?" she shouted, sounding genuinely angry.

Shinji, confronted with this sudden anger, hesitated to answer. "I… sorry…"

"There's always something with you, isn't there?" she continued, eyes gleaming, "You're the worst Third Children I could've picked. You'd be lucky if I even let you stay on after trying to pull this crap."

"But I don't even want to be a pilot anymore!" he protested, his voice rising to a characteristic whine.

"Oh, for God's sake… this is no time to start asking 'why do I pilot' or whatever. You can be angsty all you want after you actually kill an angel or two. Until then, shut the hell up. We are going to find the Sixth Angel, and kill it. Understand?"

"Yeah, I understand that, but..." he began, ignoring the instincts that screamed at him to back down from the confrontation, but trailing off as he realized that he had forgotten what he was going to say.

"But what?"

"But it just doesn't seem like any of these angels are real," he said quickly, "I mean, you haven't actually fought any of them, have you? It was Touji the whole time, right?"

She sighed deeply. "It's really simple Shinji. Seele has been using me to defeat the angels, but they obviously can't let it become public knowledge that the Angels actually exist. So they're using this kid, Touji, and some kind of mass hypnosis or something, so it appears as if I'm attacking him in an insane rage. What is it that you don't understand?"

"But then, how is it that-"

"Stop asking stupid questions!" she demanded sharply, cutting him off.

It was enough to silence him, but Asuka couldn't let the argument end in such a manner. Her bullying words would seem to betray a weakness in her argument, which, already ended, could be considered a loss.

"Listen, Shinji. We don't know much about Seele, but we know they're willing to do almost anything to achieve their goals. Why is it so hard for you to believe that they can fool a person's senses? If you'd have just trusted me, rather then whining and complaining about having to attack your friends or whatever, I might not have gotten injured in my battle with Ramiel. There were two of us and two angels, but I had to take them both on. You need to start pulling your own weight."

"I'm doing my best…" he muttered.

"If that was true, you'd at least try to do what I tell you."

"I can't help it, Asuka. I can't help what I see…" he said, desperate to make her understand his argument in any context.

"I'm doing my best. I can't help it," she mocked, "You don't understand at all. No matter how much your father ignores you, no matter how much Rei confuses you, no matter how much I yell at you, you should always be able to take down angels," she explained, "That's what being Third Children means. You're supposed to think that defeating Angels is the only thing you're good for. That's where the angst comes in, understand?"

"But…"

She shook her head in frustration, speaking loudly as she marched off once again, "Enough already! What's the quickest way out of the city? The train, right?"

"Well, I think we'd have to take a bus first…"

"Whatever. Just lead the way, for once."

-

"Strange that it's so empty, this time of day…" Asuka commented.

Shinji blinked, and looked back and forth as if to confirm that the people that populated the bus hadn't mysteriously vanished. The two of them had taken the last two available seats.

"Huh? What do you mean? It's not empty."

She rolled her eyes. "The driver doesn't count, stupid."

Before Shinji could respond Asuka, who sat opposite of Shinji, pinned him down with an intense look. Shinji squirmed under her scrutiny, shifting in his seat.

"Why do you pilot Eva, Shinji?" she asked suddenly.

He blinked, understandably confused. "Uh… what?"

She snorted derisively. "Liar. You pilot it for your own sake."

"But, I didn't even…"

Her eyes softened, and her voice turned sweetly sympathetic. "Isn't it painful? You could just run away. It's okay to run away, if it's painful."

"But, weren't you just saying that-"

Then, in a judgemental voice, "Do you hate your father?"

"What does that have to do with-"

"Did you try to understand him?"

"But… I mean…"

A sexy and seductive whisper, "Do you want to become one with me?"

"Asuka, please stop teasing me," he said, though he was pretty sure that she wasn't.

"I hate you. I hate everyone!" she shouted, bringing her hands to her face.

Shinji glanced from side to side nervously, knowing that Asuka was drawing the attention of the other passengers.

"Almost as much as I hate myself…" she whispered, her voice trembling in a contained sob. Wetness dripped down one of her palms, and onto her wrist.

Shinji, struck by the sickened sadness in her voice, stared at her in concern, the other passengers quickly forgotten.

Could this the real Asuka that I'm seeing right now?

No, the pain in her voice didn't mean anything. She'd already made her motives clear. She wanted to be some angst drenched, world saving heroine in a pretend story. Letting her emotions run wild; angry one moment, sad the next, she was just living out her fantasy.

It's just the same as always. Another delusion. I can't ever trust-

Her toneless voice interrupted his thoughts, "The beginning of a new day… the beginning of another horrible day."

Shinji couldn't help but agree. His expression became glumly downcast, matching Asuka's own, and he resolved to ignore the rest of her ramblings.

"Hey, Shinji."

Upon raising his head, it seemed as though Asuka had dropped out of whatever strange mood had temporarily overcame her; her expression was one that could be considered average.

"Shinji, you're gonna do what I tell you this time, right?" she asked him, with practiced concern and confidence, "I need to be able to trust you. Angels are serious business, you know?"

It was quite strange that she had gone from completely deranged to halfway sensible in such a short time, and this served as a reminder of exactly why it was that Shinji didn't want to go after this next 'Angel' at all. He didn't respond and didn't meet her eyes, knowing that his silence would express his intentions well enough.

She glared at him sternly. "Shinji, I'm serious about this.

"Asuka… t-to tell the truth…" Shinji began, but stopped as he realized that Asuka was no longer paying any attention to him. For some reason, she was staring out the window behind him.

"Leliel…" she whispered.

"What?"

Asuka stood up and quickly started toward the front of the bus, shouting back at Shinji, "It's the Twelfth Angel! Come on!"

Shinji blinked in confusion, and then stumbled after her. She moved very quickly, shoving past the standing passengers without a thought, and yelled something at the driver. He nearly lost his balance when the bus came to an abrupt stop.

"Get moving! I don't want to lose it!" Asuka shouted from the sidewalk.

"I'm coming!" he said, slowly making his way past the passengers.

"Damn it!" she yelled, and took off running. "Just catch up to me!"

-

Asuka moved with as much speed as she could muster through her Eva's legs. A beautiful yet horrific beast, she bounded through the abandoned streets of Tokyo-3, chasing what she knew to be Leliel, the Twelfth Angel.

Leliel was a great dark sphere in the sky, to all appearances, but the true danger lay in it's shadow; the Sea of Dirac. It was a beast born of mathematics.



Shinji desperately ran after Asuka, who was moving quite fast, running through the crowded streets of Tokyo as if they were empty. Those who didn't move out of her way were rudely shoved aside, and Shinji had a bad feeling Asuka was going to end up getting stabbed, or worse, as a result of her rude behavior.


"Shinji? Where are you?" Asuka asked, opening up a secure communications channel. There was no response. Not that it was particularly surprising that Shinji had left her high and dry again...

Cursing, she renewed her efforts to catch the Angel, which was getting nearer with each passing second. Gritting her teeth, she took a final leap towards the sphere's shadow, and was enveloped in its wet, cold blackness...



Shinji caught sight of Asuka and then lost her again as she crested the slope of a hill, having run into a park. She was a good quarter mile ahead of him, and was nowhere to be found by the time he had caught up. He had no idea where she might have gone.

-

A cold shiver ran through Misato's body as the phone rang. That was never a good sign.

"Hello?"

Gendou Ikari's voice answered her, and he seemed uncharacteristically hurried in his speech. "Captain Katsuragi, I have another proposal for you."

"Mr. Ikari? What is it? You want me to watch Shinji and that girl again?"

"Not exactly. This is an urgent matter, actually. That girl that you just spoke of has run off with my son."

"Oh my. Have you called the police?"

"No. I do not wish to involve the police in this. I want you to find them for me, Captain."

"You want me to... find them? I don't have any experience with that sort of thing."

"I don't care. They probably haven't gone far. I will cover any and all expenses, of course. Do you agree?"

"I really don't think I'm the one that you should be-"

"Captain, there are only three people that I would trust with a task such as this. The first is my wife, the second is you, and the third is Jesus."

Misato blinked. "Jesus?" The fact that he'd mentioned his dead wife was equally peculiar.

"From what I've read, he tends to make the right decisions."

Misato sighed. "I think I understand, sir. I'll do my best."

"Good. I don't have much information for you, but I assume that this girl won't be too difficult to find, based on her past behavior."

-

-Why is it that the Twelfth Angel was attacking so soon? What happened to trigger it?-

Having been swallowed up in the Sea of Dirac, Asuka had a bit of time on her hands. She was hungry, tired, and bored. It seemed as though hours had passed since the Angel had swallowed her, and her only comfort was the knowledge that it was only a matter of time before she broke out of the mathematical prison. Until then, she had plenty of time to consider the situation.


-Will they just designate it as the Sixth Angel, despite the fact that it showed up months early? Not that it would've taken months for it to show up anyway...-

The angels were showing up much quicker than they should have been. There were so many factors that were incongruous with what she knew to be correct. For instance, though she didn't like to admit it, it should have been Shinji who won most of the battles against the Angels.

She was the best pilot, of course, but Shinji was supposed to be the one that made her doubt herself as a pilot, up until the climactic scene in which she would prove herself. How was she supposed to achieve true greatness without a rival? She was the best pilot, but only by default. There was no one to judge herself against, and it was starting to seem a little pointless.

-How long is this going to take anyway? It's freezing in here!-

Once she started running out of oxygen, and started freezing to death, her mother would come to help her. Of course. if she took into consideration that it was Shinji's mother that had acted before...

Despite the fact that she obviously cared for him very much, she hadn't reached out to him until death was approaching. Could be that her mother would react different?

On deeper consideration, it was definitely possible that her mother wouldn't react at all, and would simply let her die in the Sea of Dirac.



"ASUKA!" Shinji called out. Having searched for more than an hour without finding a trace of her, he was starting to grow desperate. He had searched every corner of the park and hadn't found a trace of her, so the only possibility that he could think of was that she had kept on running after whatever phantasm she was chasing, and was miles away. It was growing dark, and he'd have to leave soon, whether he'd found her or not. The possibility that she had been kidnapped (and was now in a situation more reminiscent of a hentai doujinshi than a mecha anime), was something that he didn't care to consider.

It was sort of a relief, in a way, since it meant that his decision ha been made for him, but he couldn't help feeling guilty. He couldn't help feeling somewhat responsible for her safety, having fed her fantasy for so long. Sighing, he collapsed to his knees, unmindful of the rough gravel that surrounded the pond.

"Mama..."

His head snapped up at the sound of the faint voice. It had been muffled, and he couldn't be sure that it was Asuka, but he couldn't be sure that it wasn't either.

"Mama..."

The voice, a little bit louder that time, definitely belonged to Asuka.

"Asuka?" Shinji called out, "Where are you?"

"I don't want to die... I don't want to die..."

In the failing light, Shinji hadn't noticed that there was some sort of black rubber flotation device floating at the edge of the pond. It had been carelessly discarded there, and that seemed to be where the sound was coming from. Shinji chuckled as he realized that Asuka had been floating in the pond the entire time that he'd been searching the other areas of the park.

"Asuka?" Shinji said, reaching towards the mass of rubber.

"Gah!" he cried out, as he was splashed with cold pond water. Asuka had begun to thrash around in the water, frightening all the fishes that were swimming nearby. The rubber, still covering her body entirely except for one of her legs, contorted and twisted as she moved about wildly, and she seemed to be trying to tear her way out.

She screamed with a trembling fury as she struggled against the inanimate device, finding purchase on the pond's bottom with her legs. She rose out of the water, the black thing still covering her upper half, and, breathing deeply in animalistic rage, threw it off of her, dashing it into the water with both hands. Lit up with livid anger, she shook uncontrollably.

Clenched her fists with an almost inaudible cracking sound, she held held them in front of her, as if summoning up some great energy from deep within. Then, as her face contorted with rage, she closed her eyes and let out something like a war cry. She shouted until her voice weakened, paused for breath, and then began shouting again. Her voice, stronger than Shinji had ever heard it, was frightening. He could only watch and listen in mute terror as the drenched girl shrieked like some kind of horrific red haired pond demon.

End Chapter Ten



Thanks goes to LeperMessiah for Pre reading.

The last sentence of the first paragraph in this chapter ("Far in the empty sky a solitary esophagus slept upon motionless wing; everywhere brooded stillness, serenity, and the peace of God.") is plagiarized from Samuel Clemins' "A Double Barrelled Detective Story." The rest of that first paragraph is merely an imitation of the words preceding that stolen sentence.