Part One
Far away in the southern hemisphere, in a world most Americans are totally oblivious to, the water is a blue-green colour, disguising the sewerage that is pumped out into the ocean every day by the sewage works at Malabar. The trees are a mixed bunch, with both pale coloured native trees and brightly coloured deciduous trees brought in from Europe gracing the parks. Down there live the Australians.
Now, you must not think that there is nothing but bush and kangaroos in this country. No, there are many large and (self)-important cities there, with tall buildings and millions of people. Cities such as Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane dot the East-coast of Australia, making themselves home to millions of self-important people, living in millions of self- important houses, among which were the houses in Whitefern Lakes.
Whitefern Lakes was a huge expanse of land in Mosman, on the North Shore of Sydney. The houses in Whitefern Lakes were the most beautiful and extravagent in the entire city and the people living in Whitefern Lakes were the richest and most extravagent people in the entire city. They never mixed with anyone outside Whitefern Lakes unless they were going to travel overseas. No one in Sydney was good enough for the residents of Whitefern Lakes, except of course, the residents of Whitefern Lakes.
Perhaps the most extravagent of all the houses in Whitefern Lakes was Whitefern Cottage, although one could hardly call it a cottage. Whitefern Cottage was perched on the top of a hill, smack-bang in the middle of Whitefern Lakes. The artificial river that ran through Whitefern Lakes actually ran around the house in the shape of a moat. People said that Whitefern Cottage was like a palace, and if Whitefern Cottage was a palace Christopher Whitefern was King.
Christopher Whitefern, the middle-aged business man who ran Whitefern Lakes, had been a widower for many years, but his old mother kept house for him (after all, he was a man, and housework is "women's work"!). She was a clever woman, but very vain and proud of her former fame. You see, Ophelia Whitefern had been a very beautiful and very famous actress in Hollywood in the 1940s. All that had come to an end when Christopher had been born. But in Ophelia's mind it was still the 1940s, and so she preceded to slink around the house in feather boas, drinking champagne and talking about her former life.
Don't think for a moment however that Ophelia was a useless person. Apart from her brazen levity, she deserved great praise, especially for her care of her six grandchildren, the Whitefern girls. They were six beautiful children with six beautiful voices, but the youngest, Audrina, was the most beautiful and talented of all. Every afternoon, when the Whitefern girls returned home from the Whitefern Lakes school, they'd sit around Ophelia, begging her to tell them of her life in Hollywood. All the Whitefern girls would listen eagerly to Ophelia's stories, but none more eagerly than Audrina.
Audrina loved to hear about Hollywood, and about America, and about all the handsome young men who lived there. She made her grandmother tell her all she knew about parties and glamour, magazines and prom queens. It seemed strange to her that there was a world where people only dated insiders and wore glamorous dresses every day, a world quite like Whitefern Village it seemed, except far, far, more exciting.
Audrina longed to leave Whitefern Village and go to Hollywood, where she'd be able to find adventure, excitement, and romance. She told her grandmother of this, who only laughed.
"Oh Audrina!" Ophelia said. "Have patience my dear! When you are fifteen years old, you will be allowed to go to America all by yourself and you will be allowed to do whatever you like for three whole months."
But fifteen years old seemed like such a long time away to Audrina. The following year her eldest sister would be fifteen; but the others - well, the sisters were each one year younger that the other; so poor Audrina had to wait another six years until she could go to America. It didn't seem fair to Audrina that she, who wanted to go to America most of all, should have to wait the longest.
Eventually it was Audrina's eldest sister's, Vera's, fifteenth birthday. The day that the Whitefern girls took Vera off to the airport was one of the airport was one of the most exciting in Audrina's life - they'd blow-dried Vera's hair, done her make-up and put on her best dress. When Vera returned she told the others of how she'd stayed in Beverly Hills - and had a romance with Luke Perry! Words could not describe how excited the Whitefern girls were for Vera.
Oh, how Audrina listened to all of Vera's tales! The palm trees, the soft white sand, the gorgeous surfers... It all seemed a lifetime away for Audrina and a world away from Whitefern Village. Audrina decided that by the time *she* got to visit Hollywood, she'd know exactly what she wanted to do, so from that day on Audrina began to buy Hollywood magazines each week.
The years went by, until finally it was just two years away from Audrina's visit to Hollywood. Audrina's sister Angel returned from America with the most exciting news yet! Angel had enjoyed a romance with the star of 'Romeo and Juliet' - Leonardo DiCaprio. No amount of writing could express the sadness, the anger, and the hurt Audrina felt towards her sister. It just wasn't fair! Leonardo DiCaprio was the best actor in Hollywood, not to mention the cutest guy in the whole world.
Audrina didn't speak to her sister for an entire week, when the latest issue of 'Dolly' magazine came through the mail. As she did every month, Audrina began to flick through the pages of the magazine, eager to find pictures of Leonardo and find out all the latest Hollywood gossip. But as Audrina flicked through the pages of the magazine, she saw a boy... but not just any boy! A beautiful boy! Why, Audrina was certain that this must be the most beautiful boy she had *ever* seen. Audrina hurriedly looked down at the caption. Taylor Hanson. The name of this fine specimen was Taylor Hanson! Audrina clutched the magazine to her heart and sighed. Audrina no longer hated her sister Angel for having dated Leonardo DiCaprio, for now Audrina had found herself her own love. But oh, two more years until she could finally visit America! How unfair!
For the next two years Audrina collected every little piece of information she could on this boy, Taylor, and the band he was in, Hanson. Although Audrina was normally a smart girl, she sat by her television screen watching Hanson clips every day and sang along with her Hanson CDs every night.
One night, around a week before her fifteenth birthday, Audrina was singing along with '3 Car Garage' in her bedroom when Ophelia walked in to speak with her. "Hi Grandma," Audrina said happily, stopping her singing.
"Good evening Audrina..." Ophelia drawled in a fake Southern accent as she strolled into the room. "Have you finished all your homework, or are you just procrastinating?"
"Yes, I've finished it all," Audrina said removing the CD from the CD player. She sighed dramatically. "But it's so hard to concentrate on it. I just keep on thinking about how I'm going to LA next week." She hugged herself. "I'm just so excited!"
Ophelia glanced up at the posters on Audrina's wall and smiled. "Let me guess... it's because of that Taylor boy?"
Audrina nodded enthusiastically. "I can't wait to meet him!" she said. "I'll bet he's... wonderful..."
Ophelia smiled again. "I suppose you're hoping to have a romance with him?"
Audrina's eyes widened. "Oh definitely," she said, not telling Ophelia of her thoughts of Taylor Hanson's tongue in her mouth.
Ophelia frowned. "Well, Audrina.... I hate to be the one to tell you this but... well, there's not much chance of that happening."'
Audrina's eyes widened even more, if that was possible. "What do you mean Grandma? What about Vera and Luke Perry; and Claudia and Mark Owen; and Cindy and Jonathon Brandis; and Angel and Leonardo DiCaprio; and Kathleen and Nick Carter?" Audrina frowned. "And I know I'm not ugly. Daddy always says that I'm pretty, and so do you."
Ophelia looked at Audrina, taking in her long dark hair and brown eyes. "Oh Audrina.... you are very pretty, and I'm sure that all the boys in Whitefern Village would be glad to be with you but... Things are different in America, Audrina. There, if you want to be considered attractive you have to be... uh... how shall I say this?" Ophelia was at loss for words for once and her accent was starting to fade. She bit her lip. "Well endowed..."
Audrina giggled. "You're so funny Grandma!" she said. "Just say it!" Audrina looked sad. "You have to have big breasts."
"Well," Ophelia replied. "To put it crudely, yes." There was a silence. "Now, Audrina, I've thought about getting you breast implants to help you out but... We only give you $10 000 spending money while you're there and breast implants cost at least $15 000." Ophelia took a business card from her bra. "Here's the card of a surgeon you can see once you get to Los Angeles, honey. He doesn't charge monetary fees, you can pay him in other ways."
Audrina was shocked. Her Grandmother was recommending that she get her breasts enlarged *and* sleep with the plastic surgeon? "Other ways?" she asked nervously.
Ophelia saw the fear in Audrina's eyes and laughed. "No dear! Nothing like that. Dr. Livingston makes you pay in very strange ways, but I hear that it's worth it...." She shrugged. "At the end of the day it's up to you though, Audrina. And I'm sure you'll make the right decision." Ophelia kissed Audrina on the forehead. "Goodnight sweetheart..."
"Goodnight Grandma," Audrina replied. Ophelia smiled and walked out of the room. Audrina sat back on her bed and sighed. Breast implants? And she thought Vera, Angel and Kathleen had just had growth spurts in peculiar places when they'd returned from America....
Far away in the southern hemisphere, in a world most Americans are totally oblivious to, the water is a blue-green colour, disguising the sewerage that is pumped out into the ocean every day by the sewage works at Malabar. The trees are a mixed bunch, with both pale coloured native trees and brightly coloured deciduous trees brought in from Europe gracing the parks. Down there live the Australians.
Now, you must not think that there is nothing but bush and kangaroos in this country. No, there are many large and (self)-important cities there, with tall buildings and millions of people. Cities such as Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane dot the East-coast of Australia, making themselves home to millions of self-important people, living in millions of self- important houses, among which were the houses in Whitefern Lakes.
Whitefern Lakes was a huge expanse of land in Mosman, on the North Shore of Sydney. The houses in Whitefern Lakes were the most beautiful and extravagent in the entire city and the people living in Whitefern Lakes were the richest and most extravagent people in the entire city. They never mixed with anyone outside Whitefern Lakes unless they were going to travel overseas. No one in Sydney was good enough for the residents of Whitefern Lakes, except of course, the residents of Whitefern Lakes.
Perhaps the most extravagent of all the houses in Whitefern Lakes was Whitefern Cottage, although one could hardly call it a cottage. Whitefern Cottage was perched on the top of a hill, smack-bang in the middle of Whitefern Lakes. The artificial river that ran through Whitefern Lakes actually ran around the house in the shape of a moat. People said that Whitefern Cottage was like a palace, and if Whitefern Cottage was a palace Christopher Whitefern was King.
Christopher Whitefern, the middle-aged business man who ran Whitefern Lakes, had been a widower for many years, but his old mother kept house for him (after all, he was a man, and housework is "women's work"!). She was a clever woman, but very vain and proud of her former fame. You see, Ophelia Whitefern had been a very beautiful and very famous actress in Hollywood in the 1940s. All that had come to an end when Christopher had been born. But in Ophelia's mind it was still the 1940s, and so she preceded to slink around the house in feather boas, drinking champagne and talking about her former life.
Don't think for a moment however that Ophelia was a useless person. Apart from her brazen levity, she deserved great praise, especially for her care of her six grandchildren, the Whitefern girls. They were six beautiful children with six beautiful voices, but the youngest, Audrina, was the most beautiful and talented of all. Every afternoon, when the Whitefern girls returned home from the Whitefern Lakes school, they'd sit around Ophelia, begging her to tell them of her life in Hollywood. All the Whitefern girls would listen eagerly to Ophelia's stories, but none more eagerly than Audrina.
Audrina loved to hear about Hollywood, and about America, and about all the handsome young men who lived there. She made her grandmother tell her all she knew about parties and glamour, magazines and prom queens. It seemed strange to her that there was a world where people only dated insiders and wore glamorous dresses every day, a world quite like Whitefern Village it seemed, except far, far, more exciting.
Audrina longed to leave Whitefern Village and go to Hollywood, where she'd be able to find adventure, excitement, and romance. She told her grandmother of this, who only laughed.
"Oh Audrina!" Ophelia said. "Have patience my dear! When you are fifteen years old, you will be allowed to go to America all by yourself and you will be allowed to do whatever you like for three whole months."
But fifteen years old seemed like such a long time away to Audrina. The following year her eldest sister would be fifteen; but the others - well, the sisters were each one year younger that the other; so poor Audrina had to wait another six years until she could go to America. It didn't seem fair to Audrina that she, who wanted to go to America most of all, should have to wait the longest.
Eventually it was Audrina's eldest sister's, Vera's, fifteenth birthday. The day that the Whitefern girls took Vera off to the airport was one of the airport was one of the most exciting in Audrina's life - they'd blow-dried Vera's hair, done her make-up and put on her best dress. When Vera returned she told the others of how she'd stayed in Beverly Hills - and had a romance with Luke Perry! Words could not describe how excited the Whitefern girls were for Vera.
Oh, how Audrina listened to all of Vera's tales! The palm trees, the soft white sand, the gorgeous surfers... It all seemed a lifetime away for Audrina and a world away from Whitefern Village. Audrina decided that by the time *she* got to visit Hollywood, she'd know exactly what she wanted to do, so from that day on Audrina began to buy Hollywood magazines each week.
The years went by, until finally it was just two years away from Audrina's visit to Hollywood. Audrina's sister Angel returned from America with the most exciting news yet! Angel had enjoyed a romance with the star of 'Romeo and Juliet' - Leonardo DiCaprio. No amount of writing could express the sadness, the anger, and the hurt Audrina felt towards her sister. It just wasn't fair! Leonardo DiCaprio was the best actor in Hollywood, not to mention the cutest guy in the whole world.
Audrina didn't speak to her sister for an entire week, when the latest issue of 'Dolly' magazine came through the mail. As she did every month, Audrina began to flick through the pages of the magazine, eager to find pictures of Leonardo and find out all the latest Hollywood gossip. But as Audrina flicked through the pages of the magazine, she saw a boy... but not just any boy! A beautiful boy! Why, Audrina was certain that this must be the most beautiful boy she had *ever* seen. Audrina hurriedly looked down at the caption. Taylor Hanson. The name of this fine specimen was Taylor Hanson! Audrina clutched the magazine to her heart and sighed. Audrina no longer hated her sister Angel for having dated Leonardo DiCaprio, for now Audrina had found herself her own love. But oh, two more years until she could finally visit America! How unfair!
For the next two years Audrina collected every little piece of information she could on this boy, Taylor, and the band he was in, Hanson. Although Audrina was normally a smart girl, she sat by her television screen watching Hanson clips every day and sang along with her Hanson CDs every night.
One night, around a week before her fifteenth birthday, Audrina was singing along with '3 Car Garage' in her bedroom when Ophelia walked in to speak with her. "Hi Grandma," Audrina said happily, stopping her singing.
"Good evening Audrina..." Ophelia drawled in a fake Southern accent as she strolled into the room. "Have you finished all your homework, or are you just procrastinating?"
"Yes, I've finished it all," Audrina said removing the CD from the CD player. She sighed dramatically. "But it's so hard to concentrate on it. I just keep on thinking about how I'm going to LA next week." She hugged herself. "I'm just so excited!"
Ophelia glanced up at the posters on Audrina's wall and smiled. "Let me guess... it's because of that Taylor boy?"
Audrina nodded enthusiastically. "I can't wait to meet him!" she said. "I'll bet he's... wonderful..."
Ophelia smiled again. "I suppose you're hoping to have a romance with him?"
Audrina's eyes widened. "Oh definitely," she said, not telling Ophelia of her thoughts of Taylor Hanson's tongue in her mouth.
Ophelia frowned. "Well, Audrina.... I hate to be the one to tell you this but... well, there's not much chance of that happening."'
Audrina's eyes widened even more, if that was possible. "What do you mean Grandma? What about Vera and Luke Perry; and Claudia and Mark Owen; and Cindy and Jonathon Brandis; and Angel and Leonardo DiCaprio; and Kathleen and Nick Carter?" Audrina frowned. "And I know I'm not ugly. Daddy always says that I'm pretty, and so do you."
Ophelia looked at Audrina, taking in her long dark hair and brown eyes. "Oh Audrina.... you are very pretty, and I'm sure that all the boys in Whitefern Village would be glad to be with you but... Things are different in America, Audrina. There, if you want to be considered attractive you have to be... uh... how shall I say this?" Ophelia was at loss for words for once and her accent was starting to fade. She bit her lip. "Well endowed..."
Audrina giggled. "You're so funny Grandma!" she said. "Just say it!" Audrina looked sad. "You have to have big breasts."
"Well," Ophelia replied. "To put it crudely, yes." There was a silence. "Now, Audrina, I've thought about getting you breast implants to help you out but... We only give you $10 000 spending money while you're there and breast implants cost at least $15 000." Ophelia took a business card from her bra. "Here's the card of a surgeon you can see once you get to Los Angeles, honey. He doesn't charge monetary fees, you can pay him in other ways."
Audrina was shocked. Her Grandmother was recommending that she get her breasts enlarged *and* sleep with the plastic surgeon? "Other ways?" she asked nervously.
Ophelia saw the fear in Audrina's eyes and laughed. "No dear! Nothing like that. Dr. Livingston makes you pay in very strange ways, but I hear that it's worth it...." She shrugged. "At the end of the day it's up to you though, Audrina. And I'm sure you'll make the right decision." Ophelia kissed Audrina on the forehead. "Goodnight sweetheart..."
"Goodnight Grandma," Audrina replied. Ophelia smiled and walked out of the room. Audrina sat back on her bed and sighed. Breast implants? And she thought Vera, Angel and Kathleen had just had growth spurts in peculiar places when they'd returned from America....
