Chapter 17 - "Tainted Love" - Michaela's Story
May 12th, 2000 - New York, New York

"Next," the man at the ticket booth at the train station called. I moved one space forward in the long line to get to the ticket booth. My brothers and sisters were sitting together on the platform we were leaving from.
The parents had been sent to prison. Tweedle-Tay and I were returning to Tulsa to start a new life, with our younger brothers and sisters. We were going to be two teenagers playing house, more so than we had been in Beverly Hills. In Beverly Hills we had been two teenagers living together, but it had just been us. Our house had been a bit like party central. But now Tweedle-Tay and I were going to be playing Mommies and Daddies. Tweedle-Tay and I were going to be playing Mommies and Daddies until we were thirty-three years old, and Mozzie reached her eighteenth birthday.
Thirty-three years old. Shit. Another sixteen years with Tweedle- Tay. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I didn't love him - Tweedle-Tay was my best friend. Okay, to be honest he was my only friend. And well, he also happened to be very attractive. So why was it that I didn't want to live with him for the next sixteen years? We could always pretend that we weren't brother and sister.... twins. But that was just too eerily familiar. I didn't want to end up like our parents.
So Tweedle-Tay and I were going to live together for the next sixteen years. We were going to be spending every day looking at each other, see each other's boyfriends and girlfriends - and hating them, acting as though everything was fine and dandy, and all the while just want to.....
Could we never find happiness? Our parents were in prison, we'd gotten what we'd wanted so badly..... We had our revenge. It seemed that ever since the day Tweedle-Tay and I had met everything in our lives had been totally stuffed up. Maybe our parents had been right to send me away as a baby. When Tweedle-Tay and I had been apart we'd both been perfectly happy. I had been happy in Beverly Hills, he'd been happy in Tulsa. But from the day we'd met, there'd always been some sort of tension there. We could never totally relax, not even now.
There had to be some way we could both be happy again.
"Train to Tulsa leaving from platform 18a in 20 minutes at 12.30pm. Train to Boston leaving from platform 14b in 15 minutes at 12.25pm. Train to....." the loudspeaker said.
That was it! If Tweedle-Tay and I were apart we would have a chance to get over each other and start new, happier lives. I would go to Boston! I quickly grabbed a pen and paper from my bag and began to write.

'Dear Tweedle-Tay,
There's no easy way to tell you this. I can't live with you, in the way that we've been living, any more. When you think about it, we've been miserable ever since the day we've met. So here I sit, trying to think of some way that we can finally both be happy again, and then it comes to me.
I have to leave you.
Don't think I'm leaving because I don't love you or I don't want to be with you. I think you and I both know that we love each other too much, and it's wrong. There's no way we can both go on like this and lead normal lives.
I hope that some day you will realise that I left you not for selfish reasons, but for the common good. Don't come looking for me, because you won't be able to find me.
Don't think that I'm leaving you with nothing though. Once I reach my destination I'll transfer $4million into your bank account, to help you look after the others. And you never know Tay, maybe someday I'll get over you and we'll be able to be together once more.
Love Always,
Michaela
PS Keep smiling :-)'

"Next," the man at the ticket booth called.
I walked up to the counter. "Hi," I said. "Can I please have one concession ticket to Boston, and five children and one concession to Tulsa," I added, fumbling around in my purse.
The man raised his eyebrows and put my order into the register. "Tulsa and Boston..... that's an unusual request....."
"Yeah, well...." I trailed off nervously. It wasn't like I was going to tell him the truth.
"Here you go," he said, handing me the tickets.
"Thanks," I replied cheerfully. "Have a nice day!"
"You too! Have fun in Boston!" he called after me.
How did he know *I* was the one going to Boston? I removed my ticket from the pile and put it in my bag. I put my letter inside Tweedle-Tay's ticket and walked over to platform 18a, where my brothers and sisters were sitting.
I approached Tweedle-Tay, who was talking to Grubbery and holding Mozzie. Elizabeth was reading 'Bop' and Kessie and Mackie were playing naughts and crosses with chalk on the ground.
"Hey Tay!" I said. "I bought the tickets!"
"Thanks Michaela," he said, taking them. "It'll be so great to be able to go back to Tulsa without associating it with our parents and stuff....." He paused. "I can't wait!"
"Yeah," I lied. "Me neither!"
"Only fifteen minutes 'til we get on the train...." Grubbery said, looking at his watch.
I looked around nervously. "Um, I need to go to the bathroom," I said. I picked up my bag. "I think I'd better go now before we get on the train."
"Okay," Tweedle-Tay said.
I kissed him on the cheek. "Bye Tay," I said. I leant over and kissed Grubbery as well. "Bye Grub."
Grubbery laughed. "Why are you taking your bag if you're just going to the toilet?" he asked.
Why was I? Shit. "Make-up," I lied. "I have to fix my make-up."
"Right," Grubbery said.
I leant over and kissed Liz, Kess, Mack and Mozzie goodbye too. "Bye Mozz," I said sadly.
Tweedle-Tay was beginning to look annoyed. "Michaela, you're going to the bathroom. You don't need to make such a big deal about saying goodbye!"
"Well, I just get sad when I'm separated from you guys, even if it's only for a short time," I explained.
Tweedle-Tay laughed. "But you're practically crying!"
"Am I?" I asked, blinking the tears from my eyes. I laughed. "Must be the pollution." I leant over and kissed him again. "Bye Tweedle-Tay!"
"Goodbye Michaela," he said impatiently, waving me away. God, if only he had know that he was never going to see me again he wouldn't have been so dismissive.
I walked down the platform and ran down the stairs to platform 14b. I checked my watch. Only five minutes until the train was due to leave. I really should be getting on..... I removed my ticket from my bag and walked over to the conductor. "Hi!" I said, showing him my ticket. "How are you?"
"Good thanks," he said cheerfully. "You're going to Boston?" he asked, looking at my ticket. I nodded. "Nice weather there at the moment. What are you planning on doing there?"
What *was* I planning to do? "Uh, live..... do my senior year...
stuff...."
"Well," the man said, smiling. "That should be fun...."
"Yeah...." I replied. "Well, bye!" I said, taking my ticket and stepping onto the train. I walked down the aisle and found myself a comfortable seat near the window.
What was I going to do once I got to Boston? Well, I'd find myself some accommodation, not that it would be a problem, considering my current bank balance. Then I'd find myself a school, change my name back to Michaela Morgan, and do my senior year without any of the old distractions. There'd be no more Tweedle-Tay, and *that* seemed kind of weird.... We'd spent every day of our lives together for three and a half years and had a sort of co-dependent relationship.
But now that Tweedle-Tay and I were apart, we could become normal again. We could deal with our attraction, and the attic, and our parents, and everything we'd failed to resolve. And then, once we'd resolved that, we could lead normal adult lives.
The train pulled out of the station. I looked out the window as we rode along the tracks. When we passed platform 18 I could see Grubbery looking around nervously and Tweedle-Tay looking at his ticket - the one with my letter in it - with a look of horror on his face. I felt kind of bad that he'd have to face all of his misery alone, but I couldn't go back there yet.
But surely I'd be well adjusted again soon, and surely I'd get over Tweedle-Tay eventually.....
And, if I could do all that, then maybe someday I would have the courage to return to Stoneybrook Crescent.

Not had enough of the Tweedle-Tay Saga? Check out part 5, 'Diabolical Intentions'.