Pokemon Movie If I Made One: Mr. Bigelsworth the Asshole

by Martial Arts Master

Pokemon and all related characters copyrighted by Nintendo, Game Freak, Creatures Inc., Satoshi Tajiri, TV Tokyo, 4Kids, and Wizards of the Coast. This fanfic is what a Pokemon movie would be like if I made it; hence the title. I uploaded something like this before, but misunderstood a rule of Fanfiction.net's and took it off. So now I'm starting from scratch. As the villain, this fanfic involves Mr. Bigelsworth. No, not the cat from Austin Powers. I'm talking about the anti-Pokemon writer who is no longer on Fanfiction.net. He was famous for writing ultra-violent fics in which Pokemon characters died. I am using his alias without permission because, since he welcomed the MSTings of his fics (before Fanfiction.net stopped allowing MSTings), I thought he would welcome this as well. Besides, I would've gotten his permission, but I have no idea how to contact him. Mr. Bigelsworth, if you are reading this, I do not intend to make fun of you as a person. Therefore, if this fanfic offends you, tell me in a review and I will take the fanfic off of Fanfiction.net. But only if you tell me to, Mr. Bigelsworth. This fanfic takes place after the recently released "Pokemon Heroes: Latios and Latias" movie, so one part of this fanfic might not make sense without having seen it. But I will do my best to explain that part as it comes so those who didn't see the movie will enjoy the fanfic as well. This fanfic, being a made-up movie, will be written in the style of a movie script. Also, with their permission, I have included Poke Actor and Sandact6 somewhere in this fic. I also asked Serebbi37, but she declined. I, too, will be appearing in this fanfic somewhere, but don't worry: this won't be like those self-insertion fanfics where the author makes themselves all-powerful. I, in this fanfic, will be no more powerful than any other trainer, and to prove it, I will be one of the ones to suffer sometime in this fanfic. Now, on with the fanfiction.

***

(Start with a black screen. We hear footsteps.)

Voice: (singing a song he made up) Gonna remove Po-gay-mon...gonna remove Po-gay-mon...

(Fade in to: Mr. Bigelsworth walking through the streets. He sees a few kids playing with Pokemon trading cards. He grins and walks over to them.)

Mr. Bigelsworth: (oily voice) What are you kids playing today?

One of the kids: (suspicious) Pokemon TCG. Why, what's it to you?

Mr. Bigelsworth: Don't you know that that gay Poke-crap is bad for you? Here, let me...help you.

(With that, Mr. Bigelsworth snatches all the trading cards and rips them to pieces, laughing maniacally.)

Kids: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(All the kids start sobbing. Mr. Bigelsworth doesn't appear to notice, and he walks away.)

(The "camera" follows him. He walks by a little girl with a Bulbasaur plushie.)

Mr. Bigelsworth: (stops) What do we have here?

Little girl: (brightly) A Bulbasaur plushie! Wanna hold it?

Mr. Bigelsworth: Sure. (grabs it)

Little girl: Soft, huh?

Mr. Bigelsworth: Soft...and friggin' gay! (rips the plushie Bulbasaur to pieces)

(The little girl runs off in tears. Mr. Bigelsworth takes no notice, and his smile grows wider. The "camera" follows him as he walks into his house.)

(Once there, the smile leaves his face.)

Mr. Bigelsworth: (to himself) Why did that ass Nintendo have to invent Pokemon? It's everywhere! I wish I could just erase all traces of Pokemon from this world!

(Mr. Bigelsworth sighs, and then walks to his computer.)

Mr. Bigelsworth: I might as well start my daily sending of viruses to the webmasters of Pokemon sites.

(Mr. Bigelsworth starts going into the Internet on his computer, humming to himself.)

Evil voice: You may not be able to remove Pokemon from this world...but would you like to destroy the Pokemon world itself?

(Mr. Bigelsworth, understandably, screams.)

Mr. Bigelsworth: Who is that?!

(An evil figure appears. He is 10 feet tall, and humanoid-shaped. Careful audiences will note that he looks sort of like Cherubimon from the fourth season of Digimon. He does, however, look a heck of a lot more evil.)

Evil figure: My name is Gnieblive. I can help you.

Mr. Bigelsworth: (laughs) Gnieblive? Isn't that "evilbeing" spelled backwards? That isn't a very original name.

Gnieblive: (angrily) What I call myself is of no concern to you! What I have come to tell you is this: there really is a Pokemon world...and I can give you the power to destroy it.

Mr. Bigelsworth: (perks up) Really? Ever since Pokemon came out I've been wanting to destroy real live ones.

Gnieblive: (chuckles) Well, here's your chance. I can transport you to the Pokemon world, and give you unimaginable powers. So...is it a deal? (holds out hand for Mr. Bigelsworth to shake)

Mr. Bigelsworth: (hesitant, suspicious) That's not a deal. What do you get out of it?

Gnieblive: I myself want the Pokemon world destroyed. It's too close to a utopia for my liking. Actually, there are lots of worlds that are too close to utopias for my liking. I'd destroy them myself, but it requires less effort to give somebody the power to do it for me.

Mr. Bigelsworth: You got yourself a deal! Those Po-gay-mon won't know what hit them!

(Mr. Bigelsworth shakes Gnieblive's hand, and they both laugh as black smoke curls around them. They disappear...)

***

(Fade in to: a quiet forest, the same one as seen in the "theatrical trailer". Cue peaceful music. I'd suggest you readers find the most peaceful-sounding MIDI you can find and play that on your computer.)

Pokemon voice: Bellosom!

(Camera pan right to: a group of Bellossoms quietly taking a swim in a peaceful lake by the forest. But if you read Mr. Bigelsworth's anti-Pokemon fanfics, you'll know that he was a master of putting the violence after fake peaceful scenes. Now is his chance to disrupt a real peaceful scene, and the asshole does just that. We next hear the wind picking up.)

(The Bellosoms look up curiously. The wind then starts turning into a huge tornado. The Bellosoms scream and try to run, but they are no match, and are caught in the tornado.)

(Camera pan left to: Mr. Bigelsworth, laughing evilly.)

Mr. Bigelsworth: The power to create tornados is just one of many powers the great Gnieblive has given me! Prepare to meet your match, Pokemon!

(He then snaps his fingers, and the tornado tosses the Bellosoms headfirst into the stone cliff the waterfall is running down.)

(He then walks over and checks the Bellosoms. There is no pulse. The impact was too much for them.)

Mr. Bigelsworth: (not caring that he has just murdered innocent lives) Yes! The Po-gay-mon are dead! Now for more!

(Montage shots of Mr. Bigelsworth destroying more helpless Pokemon lives. Since this isn't an anti-Pokemon fic, I will not describe the carnage. Just imagine the most horrible, thoughtless things Mr. Bigelsworth can do to wild Pokemon, and he'll do them in the movie.)

(Then, shot of Mr. Bigelsworth standing alone in an empty clearing.)

Mr. Bigelsworth: All this travelling is making me tired. Well no more! I'm going to do everything from one place from now on. (chanting) Powers of darkness I call on you! Make me a castle through and through!

(Immediately evil energy begins to coalesce into a castle 100 meters tall. Mr. Bigelsworth heads inside.)

(Montage shots of Mr. Bigelsworth walking through the castle.)

(Shot of Mr. Bigelsworth arriving in a room of the castle with a window that overlooks a large area.)

Mr. Bigelsworth: Soon...the Pokemon world and everything in it will be gone! It won't destroy the Pokemon traces in my world, but it sure makes me feel better!

(Mr. Bigelsworth starts laughing maniacally. The "camera" zooms out of the castle, and keeps zooming out.)

Narrator (the same one from the Pokemon show): Oh no! It appears that the Pokemon world is facing its greatest threat since Mewtwo created that storm! There has to be someone who can stop this evil fiend...and fortunately, I know just the heroes to do it...

***

To be continued...

***

This chapter was meant to give you readers a feel for just how much of an asshole Mr. Bigelsworth is in this fanfic. Mr. Bigelsworth, if you're reading this, and are offended, I must remind you that all you have to do is tell me personally to take this fanfic off, and I'll do it. E-mail all questions and comments to bleifer@comcast.net