Pokemon Movie If I Made One: Mr. Bigelsworth Shows Himself
by Martial Arts Master
Pokemon and all related characters copyrighted by Nintendo, Game Freak, Creatures Inc., Satoshi Tajiri, TV Tokyo, 4Kids, and Wizards of the Coast. This fanfic is what a Pokemon movie would be like if I made it; hence the title. I uploaded something like this before, but misunderstood a rule of Fanfiction.net's and took it off. So now I'm starting from scratch. As the villain, this fanfic involves Mr. Bigelsworth. No, not the cat from Austin Powers. I'm talking about the anti-Pokemon writer who is no longer on Fanfiction.net. He was famous for writing ultra-violent fics in which Pokemon characters died. I am using his alias without permission because, since he welcomed the MSTings of his fics (before Fanfiction.net stopped allowing MSTings), I thought he would welcome this as well. Besides, I would've gotten his permission, but I have no idea how to contact him. Mr. Bigelsworth, if you are reading this, I do not intend to make fun of you as a person. Therefore, if this fanfic offends you, tell me in a review and I will take the fanfic off of Fanfiction.net. But only if you tell me to, Mr. Bigelsworth. This fanfic takes place after the recently released "Pokemon Heroes: Latios and Latias" movie, so one part of this fanfic might not make sense without having seen it. But I will do my best to explain that part as it comes so those who didn't see the movie will enjoy the fanfic as well. This fanfic, being a made-up movie, will be written in the style of a movie script. Also, with their permission, I have included Poke Actor and Sandact6 somewhere in this fic. I also asked Serebbi37, but she declined. I, too, will be appearing in this fanfic somewhere, but don't worry: this won't be like those self-insertion fanfics where the author makes themselves all-powerful. I, in this fanfic, will be no more powerful than any other trainer, and to prove it, I will be one of the ones to suffer sometime in this fanfic. I hope that's okay with you, Sandact6. Now, on with the fanfiction.
***
(Finally, our heroes arrive at the castle. They stare at it in awe.)
Sandact6: Wow...now that is one big castle!
Ash: No kidding... Poke Actor: Trust an egomaniac to have an ego-boosting castle.
Ash: Well, we have no time to worry about it now. We have to get inside and stand up to Mr. Bigelsworth!
(With that, our heroes wander inside...)
***
(Cut to: interior of castle. Our heroes are wandering one of its hallways. The hallways are decorated with skeletons.)
Ash: (sounding creeped out) Mr. Bigelsworth has one sick sense of humor.
Sandact6: Or an idiotic interior decorator.
Martial Arts Master: How dare you judge people by fashion choices! Fashion is nothing but an artificial judging system that society uses when it doesn't want to judge by personality!
Sandact6: Yeah, but there's such a thing as aesthetic taste!
Martial Arts Master: No, that's just an excuse for fashion!
Sandact6: Is not! Sometimes appearances are important!
Martial Arts Master: Are not!
Sandact6: Are too!
Martial Arts Master: Are not!
Sandact6: Are too!
Martial Arts Master: Are not!
Sandact6: Are too!
Martial Arts Master: Are not!
Poke Actor: (exasperated) Guys! You're behaving like little kids!
Sandact6 and Martial Arts Master: Sorry.
(Our heroes enter another hallway dripping with blood.)
Poke Actor: Okay, even I'm beginning to get creeped out, and I dress like a gangster!
(Our heroes enter yet another hallway, this one with swastikas. Our heroes don't recognize them, though, not being from Earth like Mr. Bigelsworth is.)
(Then, our heroes enter a large, spacious room of the castle. There doesn't appear to be anybody there.)
Ash: I wonder what this room is used for.
(Then, the door suddenly shuts behind our heroes.)
Everyone: Whoa!
Mr. Bigelsworth's voice, echoing: So...the gay-ass Pokemon trainers have finally arrived.
Ash: That must be Mr. Bigelsworth! Show yourself, you creep!
(Mr. Bigelsworth appears in a flash of energy, floating above our heroes.)
Mr. Bigelsworth: Yes...I am Mr. Bigelsworth. I'm the one who slaughtered all those Pokemon. They deserved it.
Poke Actor: Nobody deserves to die that way, you callous little dork!
Mr. Bigelsworth: (snorts) All Pokemon characters deserve to die! That gay-ass little show has been on where I live since the very late 1990's! I've had enough of it!
Ash: (confused) What show?
Mr. Bigelsworth: Didn't I tell you? I come from a compeletely different planet than you. And where I come from, Pokemon is just a gay-ass television show.
Sandact6: Then why don't you just not watch it?!
Mr. Bigelsworth: (considering) I never thought of that...(shakes head) But no. That's not how I solve problems. I don't just ignore them...I obliterate them!
Martial Arts Master: That's a pretty lousy way to solve problems.
Mr. Bigelsworth: Shut up, Martial Arts Master! In the planet I come from, you're just a Fanfiction.net author! And so are Poke Actor and Sandact6! But unlike Poke Actor and Sandact6's fics, which are actually good, at least for gay-ass Pokemon fics, yours, on my planet, suck! You never even double-spaced your fanfics until every fic dated after the "Spoiled Brat" fanfic, and before that one you wrote like 60 fanfics! On my planet, Martial Arts Master, you're just a waste of Fanfiction.net space!
Everyone else: Uh...what are fanfics?
Pikachu: (confused) Pika pika?
Mr. Bigelsworth: (sighs) Never mind. Listen, since I just love toying with people, I'll make you all a deal. If you can beat Pokemon that I summon, and not the gay-ass versions in the Pokemon world, I mean cool versions, I'll stop causing chaos in the Pokemon world.
Ash: (always eager for a battle) You're on!
Poke Actor: Fine. I can beat you any day.
Sandact6: Bring it on, you panty-wearing Klingon!
(Everyone stares at Sandact6.)
Sandact6: What? You think we're in a movie or something? I can't come up with witty remarks on the spot!
Martial Arts Master: Okay, whatever. But listen, Mr. Bigelsworth, do you really think you can beat all of our Pokemon at once?
(Everyone sends out their Pokemon.)
Ash's Pikachu: Pika pika!
Bayleef: Bay!
Cyndaquil: Cyndaquil!
Totodile: Totodile!
Noctowl: (chirps)
Phanpy: Phanpy!
Charmander: Chaaaaaaaaaar!
Sandact6's Pikachu: Pika!
Raichu: Raaaaaaiiiii!
Eevee: (squeaks)
Vaporeon: Vaporeon!
Flareon: Flare flare flare!
Jolteon: Jolt!
Umbreon: Umbreon!
Espeon: (squeaks)
Mr. Bigelsworth: Yeah, with versions of Pokemon that are actually cool, and not those gay-ass wimps.
Ash: You sure like to use the term "gay-ass" a lot.
Mr. Bigelsworth: Shut up!
(Mr. Bigelsworth motions with his hands, and there is a huge flash of evil energy.)
(Now, standing before our heroes' Pokemon, are evil, almost satanic looking versions of the Pokemon are there. They give out war cries, but they sound horrible, like Pokemon trying to speak Pokemon language while gargling on water and choking on food at the same time.)
Martial Arts Master: (screams) Dear Mewtwo, what the heck are those things? They look like they crawled out of a Clevon Spielbunk horror movie! (Author's Note: Clevon Spielbunk was the movie director that appeared in a couple of episodes of the Indigo League season.)
Sandact6: (teasing) Whatever happened to "appearances don't matter?" Looks like you don't practice what you preach, hypocrite.
Martial Arts Master: Don't call me a hypocrite! That was an involuntary reaction! They may look ugly, but actually, we have reason to fear them besides that. Look!
(Martial Arts Master points at the evil, satanic Pokemon, who are advancing on our heroes.)
Ash: They're about to attack us!
(Luckily, our heroes' loyal Pokemon stand in front of our heroes, ready to intercept the attack.)
Mr. Bigelsworth: See, this is part of why I hate Pokemon. They're too gay-ass loyal! That disobedient Charizard was the only Pokemon with a cool personality, and even it wimped out and obeyed eventually! Now, my beauties...attaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
***
To be continued...
***
Wanna know why I had Mr. Bigelsworth insult me and my fanfics in this chapter? It's because I'm still trying to avoid making myself "too good". E-mail all questions and comments to bleifer@comcast.net
by Martial Arts Master
Pokemon and all related characters copyrighted by Nintendo, Game Freak, Creatures Inc., Satoshi Tajiri, TV Tokyo, 4Kids, and Wizards of the Coast. This fanfic is what a Pokemon movie would be like if I made it; hence the title. I uploaded something like this before, but misunderstood a rule of Fanfiction.net's and took it off. So now I'm starting from scratch. As the villain, this fanfic involves Mr. Bigelsworth. No, not the cat from Austin Powers. I'm talking about the anti-Pokemon writer who is no longer on Fanfiction.net. He was famous for writing ultra-violent fics in which Pokemon characters died. I am using his alias without permission because, since he welcomed the MSTings of his fics (before Fanfiction.net stopped allowing MSTings), I thought he would welcome this as well. Besides, I would've gotten his permission, but I have no idea how to contact him. Mr. Bigelsworth, if you are reading this, I do not intend to make fun of you as a person. Therefore, if this fanfic offends you, tell me in a review and I will take the fanfic off of Fanfiction.net. But only if you tell me to, Mr. Bigelsworth. This fanfic takes place after the recently released "Pokemon Heroes: Latios and Latias" movie, so one part of this fanfic might not make sense without having seen it. But I will do my best to explain that part as it comes so those who didn't see the movie will enjoy the fanfic as well. This fanfic, being a made-up movie, will be written in the style of a movie script. Also, with their permission, I have included Poke Actor and Sandact6 somewhere in this fic. I also asked Serebbi37, but she declined. I, too, will be appearing in this fanfic somewhere, but don't worry: this won't be like those self-insertion fanfics where the author makes themselves all-powerful. I, in this fanfic, will be no more powerful than any other trainer, and to prove it, I will be one of the ones to suffer sometime in this fanfic. I hope that's okay with you, Sandact6. Now, on with the fanfiction.
***
(Finally, our heroes arrive at the castle. They stare at it in awe.)
Sandact6: Wow...now that is one big castle!
Ash: No kidding... Poke Actor: Trust an egomaniac to have an ego-boosting castle.
Ash: Well, we have no time to worry about it now. We have to get inside and stand up to Mr. Bigelsworth!
(With that, our heroes wander inside...)
***
(Cut to: interior of castle. Our heroes are wandering one of its hallways. The hallways are decorated with skeletons.)
Ash: (sounding creeped out) Mr. Bigelsworth has one sick sense of humor.
Sandact6: Or an idiotic interior decorator.
Martial Arts Master: How dare you judge people by fashion choices! Fashion is nothing but an artificial judging system that society uses when it doesn't want to judge by personality!
Sandact6: Yeah, but there's such a thing as aesthetic taste!
Martial Arts Master: No, that's just an excuse for fashion!
Sandact6: Is not! Sometimes appearances are important!
Martial Arts Master: Are not!
Sandact6: Are too!
Martial Arts Master: Are not!
Sandact6: Are too!
Martial Arts Master: Are not!
Sandact6: Are too!
Martial Arts Master: Are not!
Poke Actor: (exasperated) Guys! You're behaving like little kids!
Sandact6 and Martial Arts Master: Sorry.
(Our heroes enter another hallway dripping with blood.)
Poke Actor: Okay, even I'm beginning to get creeped out, and I dress like a gangster!
(Our heroes enter yet another hallway, this one with swastikas. Our heroes don't recognize them, though, not being from Earth like Mr. Bigelsworth is.)
(Then, our heroes enter a large, spacious room of the castle. There doesn't appear to be anybody there.)
Ash: I wonder what this room is used for.
(Then, the door suddenly shuts behind our heroes.)
Everyone: Whoa!
Mr. Bigelsworth's voice, echoing: So...the gay-ass Pokemon trainers have finally arrived.
Ash: That must be Mr. Bigelsworth! Show yourself, you creep!
(Mr. Bigelsworth appears in a flash of energy, floating above our heroes.)
Mr. Bigelsworth: Yes...I am Mr. Bigelsworth. I'm the one who slaughtered all those Pokemon. They deserved it.
Poke Actor: Nobody deserves to die that way, you callous little dork!
Mr. Bigelsworth: (snorts) All Pokemon characters deserve to die! That gay-ass little show has been on where I live since the very late 1990's! I've had enough of it!
Ash: (confused) What show?
Mr. Bigelsworth: Didn't I tell you? I come from a compeletely different planet than you. And where I come from, Pokemon is just a gay-ass television show.
Sandact6: Then why don't you just not watch it?!
Mr. Bigelsworth: (considering) I never thought of that...(shakes head) But no. That's not how I solve problems. I don't just ignore them...I obliterate them!
Martial Arts Master: That's a pretty lousy way to solve problems.
Mr. Bigelsworth: Shut up, Martial Arts Master! In the planet I come from, you're just a Fanfiction.net author! And so are Poke Actor and Sandact6! But unlike Poke Actor and Sandact6's fics, which are actually good, at least for gay-ass Pokemon fics, yours, on my planet, suck! You never even double-spaced your fanfics until every fic dated after the "Spoiled Brat" fanfic, and before that one you wrote like 60 fanfics! On my planet, Martial Arts Master, you're just a waste of Fanfiction.net space!
Everyone else: Uh...what are fanfics?
Pikachu: (confused) Pika pika?
Mr. Bigelsworth: (sighs) Never mind. Listen, since I just love toying with people, I'll make you all a deal. If you can beat Pokemon that I summon, and not the gay-ass versions in the Pokemon world, I mean cool versions, I'll stop causing chaos in the Pokemon world.
Ash: (always eager for a battle) You're on!
Poke Actor: Fine. I can beat you any day.
Sandact6: Bring it on, you panty-wearing Klingon!
(Everyone stares at Sandact6.)
Sandact6: What? You think we're in a movie or something? I can't come up with witty remarks on the spot!
Martial Arts Master: Okay, whatever. But listen, Mr. Bigelsworth, do you really think you can beat all of our Pokemon at once?
(Everyone sends out their Pokemon.)
Ash's Pikachu: Pika pika!
Bayleef: Bay!
Cyndaquil: Cyndaquil!
Totodile: Totodile!
Noctowl: (chirps)
Phanpy: Phanpy!
Charmander: Chaaaaaaaaaar!
Sandact6's Pikachu: Pika!
Raichu: Raaaaaaiiiii!
Eevee: (squeaks)
Vaporeon: Vaporeon!
Flareon: Flare flare flare!
Jolteon: Jolt!
Umbreon: Umbreon!
Espeon: (squeaks)
Mr. Bigelsworth: Yeah, with versions of Pokemon that are actually cool, and not those gay-ass wimps.
Ash: You sure like to use the term "gay-ass" a lot.
Mr. Bigelsworth: Shut up!
(Mr. Bigelsworth motions with his hands, and there is a huge flash of evil energy.)
(Now, standing before our heroes' Pokemon, are evil, almost satanic looking versions of the Pokemon are there. They give out war cries, but they sound horrible, like Pokemon trying to speak Pokemon language while gargling on water and choking on food at the same time.)
Martial Arts Master: (screams) Dear Mewtwo, what the heck are those things? They look like they crawled out of a Clevon Spielbunk horror movie! (Author's Note: Clevon Spielbunk was the movie director that appeared in a couple of episodes of the Indigo League season.)
Sandact6: (teasing) Whatever happened to "appearances don't matter?" Looks like you don't practice what you preach, hypocrite.
Martial Arts Master: Don't call me a hypocrite! That was an involuntary reaction! They may look ugly, but actually, we have reason to fear them besides that. Look!
(Martial Arts Master points at the evil, satanic Pokemon, who are advancing on our heroes.)
Ash: They're about to attack us!
(Luckily, our heroes' loyal Pokemon stand in front of our heroes, ready to intercept the attack.)
Mr. Bigelsworth: See, this is part of why I hate Pokemon. They're too gay-ass loyal! That disobedient Charizard was the only Pokemon with a cool personality, and even it wimped out and obeyed eventually! Now, my beauties...attaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
***
To be continued...
***
Wanna know why I had Mr. Bigelsworth insult me and my fanfics in this chapter? It's because I'm still trying to avoid making myself "too good". E-mail all questions and comments to bleifer@comcast.net
