Disclaimer: FFIX -- []. Dairy Queen -- Dairy Queen. Ali Baba -- Ali Baba (I think O.o). Jeremy and Vanessa -- me. Jeremy's junkfood -- um.. I don't know how to answer that. Jeremy's? The company's?? .. whatever ^^;;
A/N: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! To be honest, I kept on forgetting about it. My sister would remind me, of course, in my busiest days, but FINALLY I got around to doing it! Wooh-hoo! Nine months, has it been O.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Teasers: The longest chapter yet! Damsels in distress, gymnastics deja vu, stage fright (yeah.. just wait!), and Vanessa just won't be cooperative... "Poor Tantalus" is all I have to say!
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Like, Final Fantasy IX - by ThingBling
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Chapter V: Mutiny on the Prima Vista!
Jeremy attempted to rub the fatigue out of his eyes. He stared at the controller, head hanging over his slack neck. He chanced a look at his sister's pink, digital clock. The bright numbers illuminated the top of her bedside stand, reflecting off of the perfectly-polished top.
It was 11:47 PM... or 23:47 hours, if you were like Jeremy. He had been "into" army things all through his life, but only recently considered entering the military instead of becoming a professional football player. Of course, the National Football League would be very sorry for his abscence, but "a boy gotta do what a boy gotta do!", or so Jeremy thought.
"There's not even any action yet, except for some dumb duel," the tired boy rubbed the back of his neck. Frustrating. "And even that fight was... dumb! Press buttons... over and over, like, FIFTY times.. and fast? How do they expect beginners to like this game, who've never used these screwed up controllers before? And no blood!"
He closed his eyes. Silence enveloped him, broken only by the melancholy strokes of the Grandfather clock down the hall, sitting outside his parents' huge room. He waited until he felt a little regenerated before looking up again.. why did this game drain him? Did it require too much brain power or something?
"Whatever." He pressed the X button and watched as the line "PRINCESS!!!" disappeared.
---
Vanessa watched, horrified, as the door in front of her rattled with each of the Princess's pursuer's powerful blows.
"Steiner..."
"What?" Vanessa glanced back at the hooded girl's face. It was obvious that this "Garnet" was troubled... maybe even desperate. Yet this first word from the royal female didn't quite reveal as much to Vanessa as she would have hoped. "What did you say just now?"
More fierce vibrations. This didn't look so good, especially since the door appeared to be weakening with this continous violence.
"What's Steiner? Is that monster Steiner?!" Vanessa knew this was no time to panic. It was a time to strategize! Oh, but *what* could be done? If only she had a brilliant mind like that ugly kid Spencer in her Physical Science class! In fact, the only dumb thing he ever did was bump into her, sending the acid she was holding all over her *new* *pink* *ABERCROMBIE & FITCH* skirt, eating away and inevitably almost exposing pink Abercrombie & Fitch...!
...that was it...!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Vanessa shrieked at the top of her Abercrombie-lovin' lungs. She could see Vivi twitch in the corner of her watering eye, and the princess even gave a small jolt when Vanessa uttered her strategy...
"DON'T COME IN! I'M NAKED!"
There was a definite pause between the hammering blows of the annoying stalker.
"You're not even... decent?"
"Not even decent!"
"You're not... covered, or anything of the like?"
"Not even covered or whatever you said!"
In the awkward silence that followed, Vanessa's lips curled into a Grinch-like smirk, sensing victory in the near future...
"AND I'M HAVING A SEIZURE! I AM INCAPABLE OF CLOTHING MYSELF! OH! YOU'D BETTER RUN! OH! OH OH!" In the months that followed, Vanessa would look back on this incident with a self-congratulating nod. She had to be the smartest Abercrombie and Fitch patron in the entire world of... THIS WORLD (never mind her being the *only* one)! Yes, she was dominant in this VideoGameLand! Or whatever it was called. Hey, she'd have to check that out sometime...
There was a low muttering of profanity beyond the door and Vanessa knew she had won. Preparing to give herself a nice big pat on the back for figuring out this little puzzle and no doubt moving on to the next "level", she almost didn't hear the next sounds that drifted through the wooden barricade of privacy.
Thump. Thump-thump.
And that wasn't Vanessa rewarding herself with the well-deserved pats. A retreat, perhaps?
"Uh... hello? You still there?"
Silence...
"Guess not! Woohoo! Hey, uh, Princess Emerald, or something," Vanessa screwed up her eyes in order to read another poster in the far corner of the dingy room. TANTALUS RULES! RICH PEOPLE DROOL! NYAAAA!
...What the heck?...
"You may address me as Princess Garnet til Alexandros XVII."
After the Princess's "helpful" input, it was hard to distinguish which was larger: the doorway which Vanessa wanted desperately to escape through, or her gaping mouth.
"Pssh! Right!"
After Vanessa's "polite" response, it was even harder to distinguish who was more frustrated: The Princess's eavesdropping stalker beyond the door, or the Princess herself.
"..." Vanessa didn't mind the royal girl's absence of speech, however, because she was busier trying to find out Vivi's current health.
"Vivi! Wake up, my little friend!" Vanessa *did* mind, however, the odd look the so-called Princess was giving her. "What are you looking at?"
More silence.
"VIVI! I! SAID!! WAKE!!! UP!!!!" What was intended as a soothing nudge into consciousness escalated into a full-blown blast of Vanessa vocal talent. "WAKE UP OR I'LL... I'LL...!"
"Pheonix Down." And Vivi blinked wide awake. Vanessa stared at the rising boy, and then at the supposedly simple Princess who was tucking away a brown sack as best she could with tied hands.
"H-how?"
"Vivi," Princess Ignore-Me till I-drop-dead 1592 was looking at the shadowy boy, smiling sweetly in a way the Vanessa decided she hated, "will you please help us out of our bondages?"
"Y-your what...?"
"Our ropes! Help us out!'" You can guess who translated the request for him. Vivi didn't waste any time. Nearly tripping in such a rush, he had soon freed Vanessa and Princess Garnet with a fiery blast from his... hands?!
"WHAT THE PINK?!"
Vivi stumbled back and Princess Garnet covered her mouth.
"You've never been exposed to..."
"To..."
"To..." The two game characters exchanged worried glances.
"To WHAT?!" Vanessa glared. She was getting very tired of this situation very fast. Unfortunately for her, it was about to get worse.
"PRINCESS! I'LL SAVE YOU!"
"Oh, no." All three captives looked towards the door. They had completely forgotton about *him*!
"Captain Steiner!" Princess Garnet whispered harshly, forgetting whatever thing to which Vanessa hadn't been exposed. The room seemed motionless, and Vanessa could just SENSE the man behind the door getting ready to-
"CHAAARGE!"
In an instant Vanessa found herself grabbing both the Princess's and Vivi's hands, running through the door opposite the one the scary man was about to break through, and into a... dining room?! All that occupied the new room were odd contraptions, papers, stools, and a stained table in the middle.
"How tasteless." Vanessa blinked. For the first time in her life, she felt like she wasn't being as big of a help as she intended. A splintering crash echoed behind her, and she had the suspicion that it would be GAME OVER in just seconds.
"The table is hinged to the floor!" Princess Garnet's figure was crouched and shaded beneath the top of the table. "It must open somehow!"
In what must have been her life flashing before her eyes, Vanessa saw images she never would have voluntarily conjured. Images of that hottie Carl picking the Pop Machine lock at school (well, maybe voluntarily conjured THAT!)... images of her popular friend Shania somehow figuring out the entrance code of her Dairy Queen's walk-in freezer... images of that dork Spencer trying to hit on her in 3rd grade, telling her about Ali Baba, or SOMETHING (Vanessa wasn't paying attention), saying his magical phrase in order to get into a huge treasure horde... What was it again?
"Open Sesame?" She tapped her chin, ignoring the table that popped away from a manhole-like cover which in turn popped away to reveal an escape hatch. "At least, that's what I thought it was. I can't be sure... Open Sesame. How odd..."
Vanessa was soon aware of three sets of eyes on her.
"What?"
"Captain captain captain captain! There they are!" A small man in armor bounded up behind the...
"STALKER!" It seemed that while Vanessa had spaced out, the man the three had been fleeing had caught up to them, and was now barring the door they had entered, and staring at the door he had failed to block. Vanessa followed his gaze.
"Oh! Right! Goodbye, then!" It was as if a clogged section of her brain had been Drain-O'ed! Such brilliance Vanessa had been capable of! Such magnificent smartness! Oh, how her Abercrombie & Fitch friends would LOVE to hear about THIS! I mean, she had seen the Princess and Vivi escape through the hole in the floor and decided (I.Q.-liciously, might Vanessa add) to follow!
"Captain!"
"Wait!"
"As if!" A flash of adrenaline! A rush of gravity! A squeal of utter delight! She, Vanessa Katrina Morrison, had jumped down the hatch! Had escaped the stalker! Had escaped GAME OVER! Had escaped death! "Hahahahaaaaa! So much for being a damsel in distress!"
---
Jeremy blinked. What a loony game! Trap doors and Ali Baba and... Vanessa. He shook his head. Sure, he might've named the main character after himself if he had been in her shoes, but first he would have made sure they weren't such a "doofus". He stuffed a twinkie in his mouth as the scene remained with Captain Steiner and his weird Knight.
Steiner
"Well, let us commence!"
"...a-hem..."
"I AM COMING, PRINCESS!"
Jeremy smiled through his bulging, twinkie-filled cheeks. He had to admit, the bizarre characters in Final Fantasy IX *were* entertaining.
Pluto Knight
"I-I'll go first, sir!"
What looked like the lousiest attempt to jump down the escape hatch took place. Jeremy raised his eyebrows as the Pluto Knight flailed his limbs, now hopelessly stuck in the hole. Well, if he'd just gone, you know, FEET FIRST, it wouldn't have happened!
Steiner
"Hey!!! What do you think you're doing!?"
Pluto Knight
"Captain, sir! I'm stuck, sir!"
Steiner
"Grrrr! Blast it!!!"
"Of course you're stuck!" Jeremy swallowed the mush that had once been a twinkie. The Captain ran out of the room. "You sailed in back first, ya lame-o!"
Pluto Knight
"Hehehe. He bought it!"
"What...?" Weird game. Very, very weird game.
---
"AAAHHH!" Vanessa landed with a dizzying impact, much like the hippo-roof episode. Gravity... 9.88 m/s/s... acceleration... "Gymnastics... deja... vuuuuu..."
Yes, Vanessa had been in gymnastics in one muddled, dreary, mixed up segment of her lifetime. Why she quit she would never known - she had been the best athlete in the court! Why, she could tumble, uh... tumble, tumble, and tumble! And without getting injured! When she thought about it, maybe she did know why she quit. Maybe.
"...Crazy gymnasts..."
A blurry figure swayed in Vanessa's vision, gesturing six arms all in different directions.
"Follow my lead, quickly!" Vanessa was in no state to argue. Before she could fall over the rail that separated her from huge, whirring engines, a dark gloved hand encased hers. She was pulled along a blur-of-a-hallway, and shoved through another doorway. As the scene tipped back and forth, her eyes were gradually capable of focussing on her guide.
"Follow me! We will not be safe here for long." The Princess was before her, white cloak billowing in the gusts of warm air from the engine room. She looked rather like the ghost Vanessa had once claimed she saw while camping with her friends the stormy night the whole town had gone through a power outage. The ice cream had tasted funny after that...
"M-Miss Vanessa?"
"Vivi! Where are you?!"
"Past the pole! Hurry!" Vanessa took too long to register the Princess's command in the scene that buzzed around her, her eyesight zooming in and out and her judgement impaired from the fall. She promptly walked into the pole in the middle of the room. "Ack!"
Another sound was added to the chaos as another whirring seemed to descend from above... and onto Vanessa.
"OOF!"
"Oh, my goodness! I-I've killed her!"
"Caaaaaptaaaaain!"
"STEINER!"
Pain... painful, painful pain! Vanessa clutched feebly at the area where steel-toed boots had clobbered her. She closed her eyes. GAME OVER, GAME OVER, GAME OVER, GAME OVER...
"Cure!" A light, breathy sensation swept Vanessa from the floor and into the sky. It was as if wings had been attached to her back, gliding her into a cool, downy bed. She stood up.
She was still in the room with the pole. She raised her head and saw that it was some sort of firefighter pole where people could hang on to it and slide down through the opening above, saving much time and, if the occasion arose, lives.
Not in this case, however. In fact, quite the opposite.
"You killed me! You *&^%$#@!!" Vanessa's hands clenched into fists, and were soon making horrible noises against the stalker's armor. In his hurry to "save the Princess", he had used the pole and slid down right when Vanessa had been under him. Ooh, Vanessa was getting good at figuring out this stuff!
"Stand down, you horrid girl!" Now it was the stalker's hands that clenched - right onto Vanessa's shoulders.
"HELP! CHILD MOLESTER!" Vanessa's unexpected shrieking stunned everyone, including Vanessa. Before she could process a full plan in her mind, she had already put into motion the first step, and really, it was all she needed.
She kicked him between the legs. Hey, if it worked with the blonde boy and the belt boy, it could work for twinkles.
---
"Harsh!" Jeremy inwardly cringed as Vanessa, Princess Garnet, and Vivi made a mad dash towards the next door. Vanessa jumped over the now hunched captain, and kicked the other knight karate-style ("Wow! I didn't know I knew karate!" gasped Vanessa). He was thrown to the wall, knocking off his helmet and exploding something within his army.
Pluto Knight
"Eww! Oglop guts!"
Jeremy stared, spellbound, as the girl with the tantrums sprinted after her friends. The larger male finally straightened, and, gasping, pointed his sword at the smaller.
Steiner
"You're not one of my knights!"
Pluto Knight
"I'm not...? Oh, yeah."
"..."
"OH YEAH! AAAAH!!"
The screen of the huge TV faded to black, and loud banging noises were emitted as Jeremy assumed the two men fought it out.
"Ooh!'
"Ahh!"
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"
"Ker-splat!"
"Finally! Some blood!" The young football player bounced up and down excitedly on his sister's expensive bedset. The screen became light again as the Captain held up his sword in a victory stance. A presumably dead oglop was smashed into the phony knight's face.
"Aw, man!"
---
Vanessa was now in a dark room filled with even MORE machinery! Where was she to go? There wasn't a door or escape path in sight! Princess Garnet til Alexandros XVII and Vivi were scoping out the area as well.
A musical blast pierced the air.
"The play!" Vanessa looked at Vivi. They were missing it all just because of Vanessa's "urge" (which had been eliminated during her chuting )! Dang it!
The sound of the trumpets and violins and drums fell like rain, welcomed in a time of depression. It was so clear, it was almost like it was next to them... or above them, in the case of real rain.
"This is a theatre ship." Vanessa looked to the Princess with mock surprise on her face.
"REALLY??" The Princess shot a sharp look at her inquisitor.
Above was heard shouts and applause. No doubt a new scene had taken place on top of the Prima Vista...
---
Jeremy parted Vanessa's tassled curtains, tying them back with the sparkling pink rope that fell at the sides of the window. Moonlight spilled into the room. The street outside was abandoned, with only the lightposts to clutter the sidewalks, glowing and haunted by greedy moths.
The boy with the mop of curly hair fell back onto the bed, opening another twinkie wrapper, casting it aside and stuffing the actual twinkie into his mouth. He was going to need a lot of energy to get through the night, after all!
"Dumb Vanessa. Going over to a friend's when she could be playing a Playstation game!" He picked up the controller and unpause the game.
King Leo
"Tonight, I shall finally see my daughter Cornelia betroth'd to Prince Schneider!"
"And then Prince Schneider and his kingdom will be mine!"
"Gwahahahaha!"
It seemed that the scene had changed again, this time starring a great pig-nosed man. Two identical rhinoceros guards entered, holding a struggling troll between them.
Zenero
"Your Majesty!"
Benero
"We have caught an intruder!"
King Leo
"Why, my poor Marcus!"
Poor, indeed. If the king had felt anything but pleased that his two ruffians had dragged home a man, he would have set the victim free. Instead, the king gestured insanely and excitedly to the captive he was addressing.
King Leo
"Hark, lad. No matter how much thou dost treasure Cornelia..."
"...no matter how deeply she might believe she doth love thee..."
"...never shall I see her marry a peasant such as thee!"
The sound of a bell tolling could be heard. Jeremy looked out the window. Nope. It must have come from the game. The clock tower outside said 12:24 - AM, Jeremy expertly decided - and it only chimed on the hour.
King Leo
"When the bell strikes three..."
"Under the axe thou shall be!"
The bell sounded again. Jeremy narrowed his eyes. Despite his cynical attitude toward the game, he found himself hoping that this 'Marcus' would be alright...
---
"This is a theatre ship, " Princess Garnet repeated, walking to a large lever to her right, or Vanessa's left, "Which means it has a stage and stage entrances."
"I don't follow you." Vanessa strolled carelessly onto a raised platform. It was kind of springy.
"You will." And she did.
With a sharp jerk, the Princess threw the lever as hard as she could, sending the platform Vanessa was standing on, along with Vanessa, up into the unknown. What happened next, Vanessa would never really be able to figure out, but there she was.
And there the audience was.
"W-what?!" She staggered backwards, knocking into one of the Rhino guards, feeling desperately ill. So THIS is why the star of the spring musical had thrown up all over the stage the last year.
The troll that had been restrained by the guards before broke loose now, flying at Vanessa. She was, to be polite about it, dumbstruck. As his trolly, trolly arms waved to her with a cry of "Cornelia!", she felt she must be dreaming.
"Cornelia?"
The blonde teenage boy from before was borne from the stage floor on yet another platform, running up to Vanessa. WAS ZIDANEGOING TO KIDNAP HER AGAIN?! KIDNAP CORNELIA?! Wait a minute... she was *Vanessa*, not Cornelia! Or was she...? She gave him the same odd look he was giving her.
He moved his lips slightly, saying in the low, sexy voice that Vanessa recognized with hatred, "Improvise!"
Even though Vanessa had no idea what the word meant, she could still understand what she was supposed to do: act on the spot!
"Uh... my... love!" She couldn't believe it, and neither could the rest of the theatre troupe. At least, that's what she interpreted from their relieved expressions.
"Cornelia!" The troll repeated, looking to the monkey for help.
"His name is Marcus," was all the hottie had to say. Vanessa nodded and proceeded to fling herself into dear Marcus's arms.
"Marcus!!"
"Seize her!" The piggy king jabbed his large finger at Vanessa, and his guards reared themselves dangerously, clicking lobster-ish claws menacingly at Vanessa.
"NEVER! I'll never leave him! I'll never leave Marcus!" Somehow Vanessa knew she had said the right thing, clinging to Marcus ever tighter, clenching her teeth as the king and his servants drew back.
"I will never leave Marcus, so long as I live!"
"See, King Leo? Thou shouldst give them thy blessing!" The blonde actor nodded and pointed to Vanessa and Marcus.
"Never! Never leave his side, thou sayest?" The king now rounded on Vanessa. "Foolish banter! I'll not allow it! Cornelia shall marry none other than this man - Prince Schneider!"
Vanessa looked around wildly, wondering what other actor she had to "improvise" with.
"Is that not so, Prince Schneider?"
She gaped. No! It couldn't be!!
It seemed that during the ruckus downstairs, the tall knight that was stalking the Princess had somehow managed to tail Vanessa and her friends after all, and was now standing stupidly in the midst of the play. Behind him, shaking with silent laughter, was the princess! How she had arrived was no mystery. The captain had probably finally captured her and decided that riding up on the platform would be the quickest way back to wherever he intended to take her. Vivi was nowhere to be seen.
"M-Marry the princess? Me!?" Captain Steiner, instead of looking at Vanessa, was looking at Garnet. Schneider and Steiner... hmm, hmm, hmm. Clever...
"Aye! And this traitorous crew, I will put to death!" King Leo, however good an actor he may have been under different circumstances, faltered now, wondering just how to put to death a crew that had no idea how to act out a resistance.
Vanessa retreated as Marcus and Zidane heaved onward, bringing courage and blades into the battle. Although it was just an act, it was fierce, and Vanessa felt her heart beating hard under her plain brown dress with the apron on top. She realized then how silly she must have looked, a princess in a potatoe sack. She sighed, and the two fighting against the guards stood victorious.
"Too many of them!"
"Run away!" The first guard turned on his rhino heels and ran, the second following close behind. The king didn't seem to mind their lack of loyalty, however, and advanced on Vanessa.
"Pray, sweet daughter, come home to the castle with me."
Vanessa mind went blank. It was just as well. What would Cornelia have done, anyway?
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" A scream pierced the air, and so did a stream of flame. Vivi! His leg had been caught between the rising platform and the stage floor where the two met. Coming to join his companions, he had been a bit too clumsy for anyone's good.
"A little boy!" King Leo laughed heartily, sweat pouring down his furry temples, for a reason he was about to find out shortly. "He... he has no doubt a mind to aid Marcus! Guards!" But no guards came. "Oh, fine, then." He bent down and plucked Vivi from where his leg was wedged.
"Th-thanks." Vivi waddled over to Vanessa and held her hand. She noticed how cool his gloves were for just sending a jet of fire into the velvet robes the king was wearing.
"Ack!" Vanessa jumped out of the way as a glowing cinder flew by her. This action was nothing compared to the king's, though.
A giant gasp came from the audience as he, like all the commercials Vanessa had seen advertised, stopped, dropped, and rolled.
"Uh-oh!"
"Put him out!" The monkeyish Zidane screamed, hastily grabbing the cloak from Princess Garnet in his rush. In doing so, he "blanketed" the fire, but he also alerted the queen to certain conspiracies.
Princess Garnet til Alexandros stood there, wide-eyed, not daring to move. With her cloak gone, her disguise had vanished, and the orange skin-tight suit she was wearing over a puffy shirt did certainly not help camouflage her royal curves. Locks of night fell down her back, tied with a blue clip. Vanessa stared.
The girl on the cover of the Final Fantasy IX CD case! The character that had convinced Vanessa to even try out the game at all! It was- it was HER!
In a very unhelpful injection, Steiner mouthed, "Princess? What?"
"NO TIME!" The blonde actor grabbed Princess Garnet and put his free hand into his mouth. "From now on, you can call me Zidane!" Releasing the Princess, he drew his weapon and closed his mouth around the fingers he had inserted. A whistle split the tension while his dagger split the air. "Say goodnight, you really good knight!" He thrust the dagger into where Captain Steiner's stomach would have been if Princess Garnet had not shoved her knight away.
"NO!"
"PRINCESS!"
"Princess..." Zidane's eyes fell to the scarlet line he had brought upon her highness. "Why didn't you let me...?"
Vanessa watched in horror as the saved man stood, pulling out his own item bag. He took a vial from within and emptied its contents onto the Princess's wound, splattering the stage with the unused solution. To Vanessa's shock, the wound sealed and the princess glowed with new health.
"Steiner."
"Yes, your highness?"
"Go... home."
"W-what?!"
"I said, go home! I WANT to go with- with Zidane!"
"WHAT?!" Vanessa, Zidane, Steiner, and everyone else who was listening stopped whatever they were doing and looked at the Princess that they had once thought was sane.
"S-surely you jest!"
"Surely I don't!"
There was an awful grinding noise, and the surrounding seats and balcony outside of the ship fell away as the stars above grew larger and brighter.
"It's too late!" King Leo, only without his insane accent, was clinging to a rope attached to the rail of the stage. "We'll have to dump him off along the way! There's no way he can go back peacefully now!"
"I'd NEVER go back peacefully!" Steiner spat, knocking Vanessa over as he strode towards the king, pulling his enormous sword from its sheath as he went. "Not unless the Princess came with me!"
Vanessa clambered towards a shivering Vivi, fighting her way among the sliding props. The stage was oddly tilted, and Zidane hopped over to the Princess to escort her away safely. Steiner turned suddenly, flinging his arm out and sending King Leo back into a pile of plastic weaponry.
"Stay away from her, monkey boy!"
Far away, Vanessa could make out a deep voice ordering someone to, "Fire!" She gulped. That couldn't be good! She turned her head to see Zidane and Steiner playing a game of tug-of-Princess, and Vivi playing a game of scream-while-the-boy-with-the-belt-across-his-eyes-tries-to-abduct-me! There was an explosion somewhere nearby. So many catastrophes! She wanted to help, but she felt, somehow, that she'd be more of a help by the...
FLAMING THING?! It was a monster! A monster made out of fire!! How had it gotten there?!
"It's a Bomb!" Someone screamed, but Vanessa could barely hear them. Her attention was on the "Bomb's" trail of gunpowder that was burning away, down its line. She followed it with her eyes to the smoking cannon that had probably fired it. A mad, crowned creature with blue flesh manned it. Ah. That explained.
"A-a Bomb, huh?" Vanessa was ready to rumble.
---
Jeremy stared. WWOOOOHHH! Boss time! Yeah, baby!
Vanessa
"Here we go!"
The girl with the brown dress hit it one, two, three, four, five times! Without pausing in between! Yikes. She was pretty impressive for someone who was such a wimp. And... and he was controlling her! In his subconscious, somehow, his fingers had been in the right places at the right times and tapped away!
"Wow! Better than the duel, anyway!" Unfortunately for the boy in boxers, this was not quite the way to handle his, or Vanessa's, foe.
---
Before anything else, there was an explosion. After that, well, Vanessa didn't really know what happened. It was a monster in front of her face one minute, and Steiner's gloves the next. And after that? Well, let's just say that Vanessa welcomed the pink, Abercrombie & Fitch darkness...
------------------
A/N: REVIEW now that you've read it this far, please! I spent a LONG time on this chapter, and you must have spent a LONG time waiting for it... so please show me that you appreciate my efforts by reviewing!
YOUR REVIEW WILL BE ACKNOWLEDGED!!!!! Proven below.
Reviewer Thanks:
---Erin Tribal--- ::squeal:: ^^;; I added more! Don't hate me! Gah! Thanks for the review - I lurved et!
---gamegurl mirai--- Vanessa is not a person I actually know, but more of a combination of people ... I sort of know. I'm going to write this story so you get to know her better - maybe why she's like she is. It should be interesting. Thanx for reviewing!
---Ice Javelin--- Yeah, Jeremy's the typical little brother stereotype. Don't we all love them. Write more - your site rocks! Thanks for reviewing!
---Winky Golden--- Yes, a bathroom in a castle. Actually, I think the bathroom did originate in a castle tower chute-like thing. Am I wrong? It had to be invented somewhere along the line! ^^;; Thanks!
---Elyon and Amarant--- MY FRIEND! Sorry I haven't mailed in SO long! I'm in a musical right now and things are... uh, *sticky*. Yeah. Thanks for reviewing and email me sometime!
---Aya the Nao-Kun Freak--- I know someone at school named Vanessa as well, but she's really cool. Not a prep. ^^;; Also, the biggest awesome anti-prep in my school's last name is Morrison. She'd probably freak if she found out about this fic. Don't know anyone named Katrina, however. ::shrugs:: Thanks for reviewing!
---The Flame Panther--- LOL, well, I just thought, you know, ?????? is a weird name for a little boy. ^^;; Thanks for reviewing!
---chimera 86--- Ah, quit the grovelling (sp? O.o) and write! Write, I tell you, write! Oh, and BTW, thanks for reviewing! ^^;;
---The Truthful--- Yeah, I wonder. I bet they know about preps, but they probably don't connect preppiness with themselves. Although it is possible to be a NICE prep. I met one ^^ Slightly airheaded, but hey! We all have our moments... Thanks for reviewing!
---blakkat--- Always nice to see you're reading! Thanks!
---soCCer_rules--- You know what? I think I might not go into soccer or CC next year... because I'd rather be in the fall play! Sorry! ^^;; Wow, MORE rehearsals to clog up my schedule! Gotta luv it and THANKS FOR REVIEWING!
---Magic Girl2--- I updated! ::gasps for breath:: You OK there? LOL I love enthused fanfiction readers! It makes me feel so... warm and fuzzy inside ^^ Thanks for reviewing! Read on!
---greyfriars--- Long camping trip, eh? AHH!! ::ducks greyfriars' pointed hotdog roasting stick as it whistles by her head:: I, um, updated! Heh, heh? ^^;; OOHH, the evil forest is going to be SO FUN! It's the part I've been looking forward to for, like, 9 months. O.o;; Yeah. I just can't really rush anything, otherwise it would get really sloppy and bad. Patience, patience... thanks for reviewing and read on!
---Shadow Fusion--- Brahne ish fweakay. ::nodth:: Spank oo por mi reviewo! O.o;; OK, now that was just TOO weird...
--MiyokoTribal--- Heh, I'm glad you think it's funny ^^ I love to make ppl laugh, although it doesn't always work. What gets me is when people laugh and I don't MEAN to make them laugh... like tonight at dress rehearsals I said I looked like a gas station man in my weird outfit and all the people around me broke into chuckles. Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle! What was so funny O.o ? Ah, well. Thanks for reviewing!
---AgentMKB--- I updated! How is it? Good enough to review for? (I guess I'll find out O.O) Thanks for reviewing!
---Angel Sari Neko Jeminie Indigo--- Wooow! Exotic name! Pretty! ^^ I updated, and I think I'll take you up on the sugary offer! ::waddles to corner to indulge in the sinfulness so described in your review:: ^__^ Yum! Thanks for the delicious review!
---Amarie--- I actually decided to write more quickly when I received your review! Oh, is it OK? ^^ Thanks for reviewing! Ta!
TO BE CONTINUED, if you review! It is really quite difficult for me to fit in writing with my schedule, and it might not be prioritized very highly if no one appreciates it...
A/N: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! To be honest, I kept on forgetting about it. My sister would remind me, of course, in my busiest days, but FINALLY I got around to doing it! Wooh-hoo! Nine months, has it been O.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Teasers: The longest chapter yet! Damsels in distress, gymnastics deja vu, stage fright (yeah.. just wait!), and Vanessa just won't be cooperative... "Poor Tantalus" is all I have to say!
---
Like, Final Fantasy IX - by ThingBling
---
Chapter V: Mutiny on the Prima Vista!
Jeremy attempted to rub the fatigue out of his eyes. He stared at the controller, head hanging over his slack neck. He chanced a look at his sister's pink, digital clock. The bright numbers illuminated the top of her bedside stand, reflecting off of the perfectly-polished top.
It was 11:47 PM... or 23:47 hours, if you were like Jeremy. He had been "into" army things all through his life, but only recently considered entering the military instead of becoming a professional football player. Of course, the National Football League would be very sorry for his abscence, but "a boy gotta do what a boy gotta do!", or so Jeremy thought.
"There's not even any action yet, except for some dumb duel," the tired boy rubbed the back of his neck. Frustrating. "And even that fight was... dumb! Press buttons... over and over, like, FIFTY times.. and fast? How do they expect beginners to like this game, who've never used these screwed up controllers before? And no blood!"
He closed his eyes. Silence enveloped him, broken only by the melancholy strokes of the Grandfather clock down the hall, sitting outside his parents' huge room. He waited until he felt a little regenerated before looking up again.. why did this game drain him? Did it require too much brain power or something?
"Whatever." He pressed the X button and watched as the line "PRINCESS!!!" disappeared.
---
Vanessa watched, horrified, as the door in front of her rattled with each of the Princess's pursuer's powerful blows.
"Steiner..."
"What?" Vanessa glanced back at the hooded girl's face. It was obvious that this "Garnet" was troubled... maybe even desperate. Yet this first word from the royal female didn't quite reveal as much to Vanessa as she would have hoped. "What did you say just now?"
More fierce vibrations. This didn't look so good, especially since the door appeared to be weakening with this continous violence.
"What's Steiner? Is that monster Steiner?!" Vanessa knew this was no time to panic. It was a time to strategize! Oh, but *what* could be done? If only she had a brilliant mind like that ugly kid Spencer in her Physical Science class! In fact, the only dumb thing he ever did was bump into her, sending the acid she was holding all over her *new* *pink* *ABERCROMBIE & FITCH* skirt, eating away and inevitably almost exposing pink Abercrombie & Fitch...!
...that was it...!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Vanessa shrieked at the top of her Abercrombie-lovin' lungs. She could see Vivi twitch in the corner of her watering eye, and the princess even gave a small jolt when Vanessa uttered her strategy...
"DON'T COME IN! I'M NAKED!"
There was a definite pause between the hammering blows of the annoying stalker.
"You're not even... decent?"
"Not even decent!"
"You're not... covered, or anything of the like?"
"Not even covered or whatever you said!"
In the awkward silence that followed, Vanessa's lips curled into a Grinch-like smirk, sensing victory in the near future...
"AND I'M HAVING A SEIZURE! I AM INCAPABLE OF CLOTHING MYSELF! OH! YOU'D BETTER RUN! OH! OH OH!" In the months that followed, Vanessa would look back on this incident with a self-congratulating nod. She had to be the smartest Abercrombie and Fitch patron in the entire world of... THIS WORLD (never mind her being the *only* one)! Yes, she was dominant in this VideoGameLand! Or whatever it was called. Hey, she'd have to check that out sometime...
There was a low muttering of profanity beyond the door and Vanessa knew she had won. Preparing to give herself a nice big pat on the back for figuring out this little puzzle and no doubt moving on to the next "level", she almost didn't hear the next sounds that drifted through the wooden barricade of privacy.
Thump. Thump-thump.
And that wasn't Vanessa rewarding herself with the well-deserved pats. A retreat, perhaps?
"Uh... hello? You still there?"
Silence...
"Guess not! Woohoo! Hey, uh, Princess Emerald, or something," Vanessa screwed up her eyes in order to read another poster in the far corner of the dingy room. TANTALUS RULES! RICH PEOPLE DROOL! NYAAAA!
...What the heck?...
"You may address me as Princess Garnet til Alexandros XVII."
After the Princess's "helpful" input, it was hard to distinguish which was larger: the doorway which Vanessa wanted desperately to escape through, or her gaping mouth.
"Pssh! Right!"
After Vanessa's "polite" response, it was even harder to distinguish who was more frustrated: The Princess's eavesdropping stalker beyond the door, or the Princess herself.
"..." Vanessa didn't mind the royal girl's absence of speech, however, because she was busier trying to find out Vivi's current health.
"Vivi! Wake up, my little friend!" Vanessa *did* mind, however, the odd look the so-called Princess was giving her. "What are you looking at?"
More silence.
"VIVI! I! SAID!! WAKE!!! UP!!!!" What was intended as a soothing nudge into consciousness escalated into a full-blown blast of Vanessa vocal talent. "WAKE UP OR I'LL... I'LL...!"
"Pheonix Down." And Vivi blinked wide awake. Vanessa stared at the rising boy, and then at the supposedly simple Princess who was tucking away a brown sack as best she could with tied hands.
"H-how?"
"Vivi," Princess Ignore-Me till I-drop-dead 1592 was looking at the shadowy boy, smiling sweetly in a way the Vanessa decided she hated, "will you please help us out of our bondages?"
"Y-your what...?"
"Our ropes! Help us out!'" You can guess who translated the request for him. Vivi didn't waste any time. Nearly tripping in such a rush, he had soon freed Vanessa and Princess Garnet with a fiery blast from his... hands?!
"WHAT THE PINK?!"
Vivi stumbled back and Princess Garnet covered her mouth.
"You've never been exposed to..."
"To..."
"To..." The two game characters exchanged worried glances.
"To WHAT?!" Vanessa glared. She was getting very tired of this situation very fast. Unfortunately for her, it was about to get worse.
"PRINCESS! I'LL SAVE YOU!"
"Oh, no." All three captives looked towards the door. They had completely forgotton about *him*!
"Captain Steiner!" Princess Garnet whispered harshly, forgetting whatever thing to which Vanessa hadn't been exposed. The room seemed motionless, and Vanessa could just SENSE the man behind the door getting ready to-
"CHAAARGE!"
In an instant Vanessa found herself grabbing both the Princess's and Vivi's hands, running through the door opposite the one the scary man was about to break through, and into a... dining room?! All that occupied the new room were odd contraptions, papers, stools, and a stained table in the middle.
"How tasteless." Vanessa blinked. For the first time in her life, she felt like she wasn't being as big of a help as she intended. A splintering crash echoed behind her, and she had the suspicion that it would be GAME OVER in just seconds.
"The table is hinged to the floor!" Princess Garnet's figure was crouched and shaded beneath the top of the table. "It must open somehow!"
In what must have been her life flashing before her eyes, Vanessa saw images she never would have voluntarily conjured. Images of that hottie Carl picking the Pop Machine lock at school (well, maybe voluntarily conjured THAT!)... images of her popular friend Shania somehow figuring out the entrance code of her Dairy Queen's walk-in freezer... images of that dork Spencer trying to hit on her in 3rd grade, telling her about Ali Baba, or SOMETHING (Vanessa wasn't paying attention), saying his magical phrase in order to get into a huge treasure horde... What was it again?
"Open Sesame?" She tapped her chin, ignoring the table that popped away from a manhole-like cover which in turn popped away to reveal an escape hatch. "At least, that's what I thought it was. I can't be sure... Open Sesame. How odd..."
Vanessa was soon aware of three sets of eyes on her.
"What?"
"Captain captain captain captain! There they are!" A small man in armor bounded up behind the...
"STALKER!" It seemed that while Vanessa had spaced out, the man the three had been fleeing had caught up to them, and was now barring the door they had entered, and staring at the door he had failed to block. Vanessa followed his gaze.
"Oh! Right! Goodbye, then!" It was as if a clogged section of her brain had been Drain-O'ed! Such brilliance Vanessa had been capable of! Such magnificent smartness! Oh, how her Abercrombie & Fitch friends would LOVE to hear about THIS! I mean, she had seen the Princess and Vivi escape through the hole in the floor and decided (I.Q.-liciously, might Vanessa add) to follow!
"Captain!"
"Wait!"
"As if!" A flash of adrenaline! A rush of gravity! A squeal of utter delight! She, Vanessa Katrina Morrison, had jumped down the hatch! Had escaped the stalker! Had escaped GAME OVER! Had escaped death! "Hahahahaaaaa! So much for being a damsel in distress!"
---
Jeremy blinked. What a loony game! Trap doors and Ali Baba and... Vanessa. He shook his head. Sure, he might've named the main character after himself if he had been in her shoes, but first he would have made sure they weren't such a "doofus". He stuffed a twinkie in his mouth as the scene remained with Captain Steiner and his weird Knight.
Steiner
"Well, let us commence!"
"...a-hem..."
"I AM COMING, PRINCESS!"
Jeremy smiled through his bulging, twinkie-filled cheeks. He had to admit, the bizarre characters in Final Fantasy IX *were* entertaining.
Pluto Knight
"I-I'll go first, sir!"
What looked like the lousiest attempt to jump down the escape hatch took place. Jeremy raised his eyebrows as the Pluto Knight flailed his limbs, now hopelessly stuck in the hole. Well, if he'd just gone, you know, FEET FIRST, it wouldn't have happened!
Steiner
"Hey!!! What do you think you're doing!?"
Pluto Knight
"Captain, sir! I'm stuck, sir!"
Steiner
"Grrrr! Blast it!!!"
"Of course you're stuck!" Jeremy swallowed the mush that had once been a twinkie. The Captain ran out of the room. "You sailed in back first, ya lame-o!"
Pluto Knight
"Hehehe. He bought it!"
"What...?" Weird game. Very, very weird game.
---
"AAAHHH!" Vanessa landed with a dizzying impact, much like the hippo-roof episode. Gravity... 9.88 m/s/s... acceleration... "Gymnastics... deja... vuuuuu..."
Yes, Vanessa had been in gymnastics in one muddled, dreary, mixed up segment of her lifetime. Why she quit she would never known - she had been the best athlete in the court! Why, she could tumble, uh... tumble, tumble, and tumble! And without getting injured! When she thought about it, maybe she did know why she quit. Maybe.
"...Crazy gymnasts..."
A blurry figure swayed in Vanessa's vision, gesturing six arms all in different directions.
"Follow my lead, quickly!" Vanessa was in no state to argue. Before she could fall over the rail that separated her from huge, whirring engines, a dark gloved hand encased hers. She was pulled along a blur-of-a-hallway, and shoved through another doorway. As the scene tipped back and forth, her eyes were gradually capable of focussing on her guide.
"Follow me! We will not be safe here for long." The Princess was before her, white cloak billowing in the gusts of warm air from the engine room. She looked rather like the ghost Vanessa had once claimed she saw while camping with her friends the stormy night the whole town had gone through a power outage. The ice cream had tasted funny after that...
"M-Miss Vanessa?"
"Vivi! Where are you?!"
"Past the pole! Hurry!" Vanessa took too long to register the Princess's command in the scene that buzzed around her, her eyesight zooming in and out and her judgement impaired from the fall. She promptly walked into the pole in the middle of the room. "Ack!"
Another sound was added to the chaos as another whirring seemed to descend from above... and onto Vanessa.
"OOF!"
"Oh, my goodness! I-I've killed her!"
"Caaaaaptaaaaain!"
"STEINER!"
Pain... painful, painful pain! Vanessa clutched feebly at the area where steel-toed boots had clobbered her. She closed her eyes. GAME OVER, GAME OVER, GAME OVER, GAME OVER...
"Cure!" A light, breathy sensation swept Vanessa from the floor and into the sky. It was as if wings had been attached to her back, gliding her into a cool, downy bed. She stood up.
She was still in the room with the pole. She raised her head and saw that it was some sort of firefighter pole where people could hang on to it and slide down through the opening above, saving much time and, if the occasion arose, lives.
Not in this case, however. In fact, quite the opposite.
"You killed me! You *&^%$#@!!" Vanessa's hands clenched into fists, and were soon making horrible noises against the stalker's armor. In his hurry to "save the Princess", he had used the pole and slid down right when Vanessa had been under him. Ooh, Vanessa was getting good at figuring out this stuff!
"Stand down, you horrid girl!" Now it was the stalker's hands that clenched - right onto Vanessa's shoulders.
"HELP! CHILD MOLESTER!" Vanessa's unexpected shrieking stunned everyone, including Vanessa. Before she could process a full plan in her mind, she had already put into motion the first step, and really, it was all she needed.
She kicked him between the legs. Hey, if it worked with the blonde boy and the belt boy, it could work for twinkles.
---
"Harsh!" Jeremy inwardly cringed as Vanessa, Princess Garnet, and Vivi made a mad dash towards the next door. Vanessa jumped over the now hunched captain, and kicked the other knight karate-style ("Wow! I didn't know I knew karate!" gasped Vanessa). He was thrown to the wall, knocking off his helmet and exploding something within his army.
Pluto Knight
"Eww! Oglop guts!"
Jeremy stared, spellbound, as the girl with the tantrums sprinted after her friends. The larger male finally straightened, and, gasping, pointed his sword at the smaller.
Steiner
"You're not one of my knights!"
Pluto Knight
"I'm not...? Oh, yeah."
"..."
"OH YEAH! AAAAH!!"
The screen of the huge TV faded to black, and loud banging noises were emitted as Jeremy assumed the two men fought it out.
"Ooh!'
"Ahh!"
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"
"Ker-splat!"
"Finally! Some blood!" The young football player bounced up and down excitedly on his sister's expensive bedset. The screen became light again as the Captain held up his sword in a victory stance. A presumably dead oglop was smashed into the phony knight's face.
"Aw, man!"
---
Vanessa was now in a dark room filled with even MORE machinery! Where was she to go? There wasn't a door or escape path in sight! Princess Garnet til Alexandros XVII and Vivi were scoping out the area as well.
A musical blast pierced the air.
"The play!" Vanessa looked at Vivi. They were missing it all just because of Vanessa's "urge" (which had been eliminated during her chuting )! Dang it!
The sound of the trumpets and violins and drums fell like rain, welcomed in a time of depression. It was so clear, it was almost like it was next to them... or above them, in the case of real rain.
"This is a theatre ship." Vanessa looked to the Princess with mock surprise on her face.
"REALLY??" The Princess shot a sharp look at her inquisitor.
Above was heard shouts and applause. No doubt a new scene had taken place on top of the Prima Vista...
---
Jeremy parted Vanessa's tassled curtains, tying them back with the sparkling pink rope that fell at the sides of the window. Moonlight spilled into the room. The street outside was abandoned, with only the lightposts to clutter the sidewalks, glowing and haunted by greedy moths.
The boy with the mop of curly hair fell back onto the bed, opening another twinkie wrapper, casting it aside and stuffing the actual twinkie into his mouth. He was going to need a lot of energy to get through the night, after all!
"Dumb Vanessa. Going over to a friend's when she could be playing a Playstation game!" He picked up the controller and unpause the game.
King Leo
"Tonight, I shall finally see my daughter Cornelia betroth'd to Prince Schneider!"
"And then Prince Schneider and his kingdom will be mine!"
"Gwahahahaha!"
It seemed that the scene had changed again, this time starring a great pig-nosed man. Two identical rhinoceros guards entered, holding a struggling troll between them.
Zenero
"Your Majesty!"
Benero
"We have caught an intruder!"
King Leo
"Why, my poor Marcus!"
Poor, indeed. If the king had felt anything but pleased that his two ruffians had dragged home a man, he would have set the victim free. Instead, the king gestured insanely and excitedly to the captive he was addressing.
King Leo
"Hark, lad. No matter how much thou dost treasure Cornelia..."
"...no matter how deeply she might believe she doth love thee..."
"...never shall I see her marry a peasant such as thee!"
The sound of a bell tolling could be heard. Jeremy looked out the window. Nope. It must have come from the game. The clock tower outside said 12:24 - AM, Jeremy expertly decided - and it only chimed on the hour.
King Leo
"When the bell strikes three..."
"Under the axe thou shall be!"
The bell sounded again. Jeremy narrowed his eyes. Despite his cynical attitude toward the game, he found himself hoping that this 'Marcus' would be alright...
---
"This is a theatre ship, " Princess Garnet repeated, walking to a large lever to her right, or Vanessa's left, "Which means it has a stage and stage entrances."
"I don't follow you." Vanessa strolled carelessly onto a raised platform. It was kind of springy.
"You will." And she did.
With a sharp jerk, the Princess threw the lever as hard as she could, sending the platform Vanessa was standing on, along with Vanessa, up into the unknown. What happened next, Vanessa would never really be able to figure out, but there she was.
And there the audience was.
"W-what?!" She staggered backwards, knocking into one of the Rhino guards, feeling desperately ill. So THIS is why the star of the spring musical had thrown up all over the stage the last year.
The troll that had been restrained by the guards before broke loose now, flying at Vanessa. She was, to be polite about it, dumbstruck. As his trolly, trolly arms waved to her with a cry of "Cornelia!", she felt she must be dreaming.
"Cornelia?"
The blonde teenage boy from before was borne from the stage floor on yet another platform, running up to Vanessa. WAS ZIDANEGOING TO KIDNAP HER AGAIN?! KIDNAP CORNELIA?! Wait a minute... she was *Vanessa*, not Cornelia! Or was she...? She gave him the same odd look he was giving her.
He moved his lips slightly, saying in the low, sexy voice that Vanessa recognized with hatred, "Improvise!"
Even though Vanessa had no idea what the word meant, she could still understand what she was supposed to do: act on the spot!
"Uh... my... love!" She couldn't believe it, and neither could the rest of the theatre troupe. At least, that's what she interpreted from their relieved expressions.
"Cornelia!" The troll repeated, looking to the monkey for help.
"His name is Marcus," was all the hottie had to say. Vanessa nodded and proceeded to fling herself into dear Marcus's arms.
"Marcus!!"
"Seize her!" The piggy king jabbed his large finger at Vanessa, and his guards reared themselves dangerously, clicking lobster-ish claws menacingly at Vanessa.
"NEVER! I'll never leave him! I'll never leave Marcus!" Somehow Vanessa knew she had said the right thing, clinging to Marcus ever tighter, clenching her teeth as the king and his servants drew back.
"I will never leave Marcus, so long as I live!"
"See, King Leo? Thou shouldst give them thy blessing!" The blonde actor nodded and pointed to Vanessa and Marcus.
"Never! Never leave his side, thou sayest?" The king now rounded on Vanessa. "Foolish banter! I'll not allow it! Cornelia shall marry none other than this man - Prince Schneider!"
Vanessa looked around wildly, wondering what other actor she had to "improvise" with.
"Is that not so, Prince Schneider?"
She gaped. No! It couldn't be!!
It seemed that during the ruckus downstairs, the tall knight that was stalking the Princess had somehow managed to tail Vanessa and her friends after all, and was now standing stupidly in the midst of the play. Behind him, shaking with silent laughter, was the princess! How she had arrived was no mystery. The captain had probably finally captured her and decided that riding up on the platform would be the quickest way back to wherever he intended to take her. Vivi was nowhere to be seen.
"M-Marry the princess? Me!?" Captain Steiner, instead of looking at Vanessa, was looking at Garnet. Schneider and Steiner... hmm, hmm, hmm. Clever...
"Aye! And this traitorous crew, I will put to death!" King Leo, however good an actor he may have been under different circumstances, faltered now, wondering just how to put to death a crew that had no idea how to act out a resistance.
Vanessa retreated as Marcus and Zidane heaved onward, bringing courage and blades into the battle. Although it was just an act, it was fierce, and Vanessa felt her heart beating hard under her plain brown dress with the apron on top. She realized then how silly she must have looked, a princess in a potatoe sack. She sighed, and the two fighting against the guards stood victorious.
"Too many of them!"
"Run away!" The first guard turned on his rhino heels and ran, the second following close behind. The king didn't seem to mind their lack of loyalty, however, and advanced on Vanessa.
"Pray, sweet daughter, come home to the castle with me."
Vanessa mind went blank. It was just as well. What would Cornelia have done, anyway?
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" A scream pierced the air, and so did a stream of flame. Vivi! His leg had been caught between the rising platform and the stage floor where the two met. Coming to join his companions, he had been a bit too clumsy for anyone's good.
"A little boy!" King Leo laughed heartily, sweat pouring down his furry temples, for a reason he was about to find out shortly. "He... he has no doubt a mind to aid Marcus! Guards!" But no guards came. "Oh, fine, then." He bent down and plucked Vivi from where his leg was wedged.
"Th-thanks." Vivi waddled over to Vanessa and held her hand. She noticed how cool his gloves were for just sending a jet of fire into the velvet robes the king was wearing.
"Ack!" Vanessa jumped out of the way as a glowing cinder flew by her. This action was nothing compared to the king's, though.
A giant gasp came from the audience as he, like all the commercials Vanessa had seen advertised, stopped, dropped, and rolled.
"Uh-oh!"
"Put him out!" The monkeyish Zidane screamed, hastily grabbing the cloak from Princess Garnet in his rush. In doing so, he "blanketed" the fire, but he also alerted the queen to certain conspiracies.
Princess Garnet til Alexandros stood there, wide-eyed, not daring to move. With her cloak gone, her disguise had vanished, and the orange skin-tight suit she was wearing over a puffy shirt did certainly not help camouflage her royal curves. Locks of night fell down her back, tied with a blue clip. Vanessa stared.
The girl on the cover of the Final Fantasy IX CD case! The character that had convinced Vanessa to even try out the game at all! It was- it was HER!
In a very unhelpful injection, Steiner mouthed, "Princess? What?"
"NO TIME!" The blonde actor grabbed Princess Garnet and put his free hand into his mouth. "From now on, you can call me Zidane!" Releasing the Princess, he drew his weapon and closed his mouth around the fingers he had inserted. A whistle split the tension while his dagger split the air. "Say goodnight, you really good knight!" He thrust the dagger into where Captain Steiner's stomach would have been if Princess Garnet had not shoved her knight away.
"NO!"
"PRINCESS!"
"Princess..." Zidane's eyes fell to the scarlet line he had brought upon her highness. "Why didn't you let me...?"
Vanessa watched in horror as the saved man stood, pulling out his own item bag. He took a vial from within and emptied its contents onto the Princess's wound, splattering the stage with the unused solution. To Vanessa's shock, the wound sealed and the princess glowed with new health.
"Steiner."
"Yes, your highness?"
"Go... home."
"W-what?!"
"I said, go home! I WANT to go with- with Zidane!"
"WHAT?!" Vanessa, Zidane, Steiner, and everyone else who was listening stopped whatever they were doing and looked at the Princess that they had once thought was sane.
"S-surely you jest!"
"Surely I don't!"
There was an awful grinding noise, and the surrounding seats and balcony outside of the ship fell away as the stars above grew larger and brighter.
"It's too late!" King Leo, only without his insane accent, was clinging to a rope attached to the rail of the stage. "We'll have to dump him off along the way! There's no way he can go back peacefully now!"
"I'd NEVER go back peacefully!" Steiner spat, knocking Vanessa over as he strode towards the king, pulling his enormous sword from its sheath as he went. "Not unless the Princess came with me!"
Vanessa clambered towards a shivering Vivi, fighting her way among the sliding props. The stage was oddly tilted, and Zidane hopped over to the Princess to escort her away safely. Steiner turned suddenly, flinging his arm out and sending King Leo back into a pile of plastic weaponry.
"Stay away from her, monkey boy!"
Far away, Vanessa could make out a deep voice ordering someone to, "Fire!" She gulped. That couldn't be good! She turned her head to see Zidane and Steiner playing a game of tug-of-Princess, and Vivi playing a game of scream-while-the-boy-with-the-belt-across-his-eyes-tries-to-abduct-me! There was an explosion somewhere nearby. So many catastrophes! She wanted to help, but she felt, somehow, that she'd be more of a help by the...
FLAMING THING?! It was a monster! A monster made out of fire!! How had it gotten there?!
"It's a Bomb!" Someone screamed, but Vanessa could barely hear them. Her attention was on the "Bomb's" trail of gunpowder that was burning away, down its line. She followed it with her eyes to the smoking cannon that had probably fired it. A mad, crowned creature with blue flesh manned it. Ah. That explained.
"A-a Bomb, huh?" Vanessa was ready to rumble.
---
Jeremy stared. WWOOOOHHH! Boss time! Yeah, baby!
Vanessa
"Here we go!"
The girl with the brown dress hit it one, two, three, four, five times! Without pausing in between! Yikes. She was pretty impressive for someone who was such a wimp. And... and he was controlling her! In his subconscious, somehow, his fingers had been in the right places at the right times and tapped away!
"Wow! Better than the duel, anyway!" Unfortunately for the boy in boxers, this was not quite the way to handle his, or Vanessa's, foe.
---
Before anything else, there was an explosion. After that, well, Vanessa didn't really know what happened. It was a monster in front of her face one minute, and Steiner's gloves the next. And after that? Well, let's just say that Vanessa welcomed the pink, Abercrombie & Fitch darkness...
------------------
A/N: REVIEW now that you've read it this far, please! I spent a LONG time on this chapter, and you must have spent a LONG time waiting for it... so please show me that you appreciate my efforts by reviewing!
YOUR REVIEW WILL BE ACKNOWLEDGED!!!!! Proven below.
Reviewer Thanks:
---Erin Tribal--- ::squeal:: ^^;; I added more! Don't hate me! Gah! Thanks for the review - I lurved et!
---gamegurl mirai--- Vanessa is not a person I actually know, but more of a combination of people ... I sort of know. I'm going to write this story so you get to know her better - maybe why she's like she is. It should be interesting. Thanx for reviewing!
---Ice Javelin--- Yeah, Jeremy's the typical little brother stereotype. Don't we all love them. Write more - your site rocks! Thanks for reviewing!
---Winky Golden--- Yes, a bathroom in a castle. Actually, I think the bathroom did originate in a castle tower chute-like thing. Am I wrong? It had to be invented somewhere along the line! ^^;; Thanks!
---Elyon and Amarant--- MY FRIEND! Sorry I haven't mailed in SO long! I'm in a musical right now and things are... uh, *sticky*. Yeah. Thanks for reviewing and email me sometime!
---Aya the Nao-Kun Freak--- I know someone at school named Vanessa as well, but she's really cool. Not a prep. ^^;; Also, the biggest awesome anti-prep in my school's last name is Morrison. She'd probably freak if she found out about this fic. Don't know anyone named Katrina, however. ::shrugs:: Thanks for reviewing!
---The Flame Panther--- LOL, well, I just thought, you know, ?????? is a weird name for a little boy. ^^;; Thanks for reviewing!
---chimera 86--- Ah, quit the grovelling (sp? O.o) and write! Write, I tell you, write! Oh, and BTW, thanks for reviewing! ^^;;
---The Truthful--- Yeah, I wonder. I bet they know about preps, but they probably don't connect preppiness with themselves. Although it is possible to be a NICE prep. I met one ^^ Slightly airheaded, but hey! We all have our moments... Thanks for reviewing!
---blakkat--- Always nice to see you're reading! Thanks!
---soCCer_rules--- You know what? I think I might not go into soccer or CC next year... because I'd rather be in the fall play! Sorry! ^^;; Wow, MORE rehearsals to clog up my schedule! Gotta luv it and THANKS FOR REVIEWING!
---Magic Girl2--- I updated! ::gasps for breath:: You OK there? LOL I love enthused fanfiction readers! It makes me feel so... warm and fuzzy inside ^^ Thanks for reviewing! Read on!
---greyfriars--- Long camping trip, eh? AHH!! ::ducks greyfriars' pointed hotdog roasting stick as it whistles by her head:: I, um, updated! Heh, heh? ^^;; OOHH, the evil forest is going to be SO FUN! It's the part I've been looking forward to for, like, 9 months. O.o;; Yeah. I just can't really rush anything, otherwise it would get really sloppy and bad. Patience, patience... thanks for reviewing and read on!
---Shadow Fusion--- Brahne ish fweakay. ::nodth:: Spank oo por mi reviewo! O.o;; OK, now that was just TOO weird...
--MiyokoTribal--- Heh, I'm glad you think it's funny ^^ I love to make ppl laugh, although it doesn't always work. What gets me is when people laugh and I don't MEAN to make them laugh... like tonight at dress rehearsals I said I looked like a gas station man in my weird outfit and all the people around me broke into chuckles. Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle! What was so funny O.o ? Ah, well. Thanks for reviewing!
---AgentMKB--- I updated! How is it? Good enough to review for? (I guess I'll find out O.O) Thanks for reviewing!
---Angel Sari Neko Jeminie Indigo--- Wooow! Exotic name! Pretty! ^^ I updated, and I think I'll take you up on the sugary offer! ::waddles to corner to indulge in the sinfulness so described in your review:: ^__^ Yum! Thanks for the delicious review!
---Amarie--- I actually decided to write more quickly when I received your review! Oh, is it OK? ^^ Thanks for reviewing! Ta!
TO BE CONTINUED, if you review! It is really quite difficult for me to fit in writing with my schedule, and it might not be prioritized very highly if no one appreciates it...
