©Lexiter Jackson 2002
Okay-so I went ahead and wrote the damn story. This is from the songfic 'Lost Endings', so if you want
to know the background, go read it. Now. Go on, read it!
Right, now that you've done that, here's the disclaimer....
Disclaimer: I hereby witness that I do not, have not and never will own the characters in this story *cries*
So, no money, no sue. Unless you want the really pretty piece of chewed up gum I found on my shoe the other day....
Lost Endings – The story....
Chapter 1: Deathwish
Sephiroth staggered out of the woods, his face blue and his teeth chattering. Nearly blinded by the whirling blizzard around him, Sephiroth could see the faint lights of a town across a field.
He bent his head forwards into the howling wind again and forced his weary body on, one torturous step after another, thankful for the wind and the snow for blocking out all thought.
After what seemed like hours but was actually minutes, Sephiroth knew he could go on no longer. He halted, his knees shaking under his own weight, and he collapsed face down in the snow. As he lost consciousness, Sephiroth smiled. At last he was going to get peace....he was going home.
Cloud was stretched out on a bunk when he was shaken awake by Tifa with the news that they had 'found somebody in the snow and were gonna rescue them'. Cloud nodded blearily and followed her out, stretching and glancing at the clock on the wall. He'd been asleep for an hour. Only an hour had passed since the fight with Sephiroth....
Sephiroth roused slightly when he felt hands pick him up and voices talking to each other.
'Leave me alone....let me die....'
He struggled weakly, but his body didn't pay attention.
'What did he say?' A familiar voice penetrated Sephiroth's head, and he cracked an eye open. He looked blearily into the face in front of him, blond brows furrowed over furious but somehow....calming....glowing blue eyes. He couldn't name the face, however, and slipped into unconsciousness again.
'Something about wanting to die....'
Cloud sat on the bunk opposite the tossing figure, the point of the huge Buster Sword resting on the floor between his feet. Sephiroth was in the middle of a raging fever, unseeing brilliant green eyes flashing around the room, focusing on things in Sephiroth's head. Every now and then the swordsman would fall into a few hours worth of fitful sleep, only to wake screaming in the grip of some nightmare he couldn't escape from. Cloud shook his head and leaned his forehead against the cold metal of his sword. The first thing they had done when they brought Sephiroth in was remove his sword, which was now lying next to Cloud on the bed.
Cloud had disagreed violently with the rescue of Sephiroth, but even he had to admit, watching over the man for the day, there was a change in him. More often then not, Cloud worked out, Sephiroth dreamt about the past, memories from before Cloud knew him to the point where he had supposedly killed him. And they were not pleasant.
'Cloud?'
The voice was weak, barely a croaked whisper, but it brought Cloud out of his thoughts. He looked up at the man and met his brilliantly green eyes.
'Yes?' Okay, so maybe he had said it a little gruffly.
'Why?'
Cloud's brows furrowed. 'Why what?'
Sephiroth tried to sit up, pushing himself up onto an elbow, looking down at the floor. 'Why can't I die? I....I killed so many people....oh dear God why can't I die!'
Cloud sat in shock as he saw tears flow down Sephiroth's cheeks as Sephiroth sank back down onto the bed, his eyes now staring at the ceiling. He saw him squeeze his eyes shut and cover his face with his hands, sobs racking Sephiroth's body. Cloud shook his head and sighed.
'To have been used as a worthless experiment....finding out about that would have sent anyone down into insanity. To then be manipulated by Jenova....'
Cloud looked back up at Sephiroth, the huge man staring up at the ceiling, the tears stopped. Suddenly Cloud was pinned by that green stare.
'Do you know what it is like, knowing what you are doing and yet not being able to stop it?'
Cloud shook his head. 'You....you did that to me once. In the City of the Ancients, you nearly made me kill Aeris....'
Sephiroth smiled weakly at him. 'No, Cloud. That wasn't me. And you....you were stronger then I. You resisted her. That was more then what I did.' Sephiroth's body was shaken by multiple coughs. Cloud looked down at him as he dropped back into unconsciousness.
Sephiroth wandered through a field, his long Masamune in his hand. The sword was slippery with blood – his own blood as much as anyone else's – the field around him full of bodies. Some groaned and cried out to him to help them, but Sephiroth shook his head sadly and moved on. The sky was a dark, dusty blue, heralding the sunset glowing in the sky, ripped by grey clouds heavy with the promise of rain. Despite the moans of the mortally wounded, the air was strangely still, the tension almost tangible.
'S....Sephiroth....'
Sephiroth felt a hand pull on his coat, and he turned to see who it was. He drew back with a gasp.
Aeris was lying there, her green eyes glazed with pain and the front of her pink dress covered in a growing red stain from the slit in her torso.
Sephiroth knelt down to her, tears flowing out of his eyes.
'Aeris....'
'S....Sephiroth....forgive yourself.' The form of Aeris faded, along with the rest of the carnage in the field, and suddenly the air was clear. Sephiroth stood, wiping the tears from his eyes as he looked towards the sunset.
There was something in the middle of the field. Sephiroth walked towards it, only to be thrown into a world of complete darkness. There was nothing there, only himself and his sword.
A hissing broke the silence, sounding like hundreds of snakes singing.
'Sephiroth....my son....'
Sephiroth whirled at the sound, a hideous shape filling his vision. Suddenly he felt a blow to his mind that almost sent him to his knees.
'Come to me....Sephiroth, come and be God....'
'NO!' Sephiroth almost screamed, leaping high and slashing the mutated form of Jenova with the Masamune. The being screamed and he tore her apart.
'Sephiroth....'
'No! Leave me alone!'
'Sephiroth!'
'Get away from me!'
'Sephiroth, wake up! C'mon!'
Sephiroth snapped awake, his green eyes darting about the room at the concerned yet wary faces surrounding him, finally resting on a pair of glowing blue eyes above him, his breathing slowing down.
Cloud backed off as Sephiroth sat up, holding a hand to his aching head as he pushed the covers off of his lean figure and sat on the edge of the bed. Almost absently he noticed that someone had taken off his coat and replaced it with a white tee-shirt. They had left his black leather trousers on but had taken off his boots.
Sephiroth buried his head in his hands, the tears coming again fast but silent.
'Forgive yourself' she said. How do I do that?
Sephiroth noticed that all of the others had gone out of his room, including Cloud, and for that he was grateful. He pulled himself up onto the bed, leaning back against the wall and drawing his knees up to his chin, much as he used to when he was a child in Hojo's lab. His long silver hair settled around and over his face as Sephiroth shook with silent sobs.
Eventually he had cried himself out for the moment, so he got up and opened the door to the deck. Nobody was around, so Sephiroth walked over to the parapet, crossing his arms over the railing and watching the ground pass by with unseeing eyes. He thought back over the events of the last few days, of meeting Cloud in the Crater, of defying his humanity....
Sephiroth felt tears rising up again, so he diverted his thoughts to other things. Like how to gain the other's trust.
'What're you doing out here?'
Sephiroth turned slowly and saw Cloud standing behind him, his serious blue eyes clouded with....animosity? Hate? Pity? Sephiroth wasn't sure. He shrugged.
'Looking at the view.' He replied in his deep voice, matching the blue eyes stare for stare, watching the flicker of emotion, bright as electric sparks, move across them like storm clouds over a blue sky.
'Well you'd better go back to your bed. The others are gonna come in and talk to you. And no stupid tricks, Sephiroth.' Cloud warned in a low growl. Sephiroth just nodded, his green eyes cast to the floor like a disgraced child as he walked past the man and back into his cabin.
Cloud shook his head as he walked into the main cabin where the others were waiting.
'He's awake.' He ground out. Tifa laid a hand on his shoulder, knowing what he felt.
'Cloud, we had to rescue him. We....we couldn't just leave him out there to die and you know it.'
Cid shook his head as he lit up a cigarette out of his seemingly never ending supply.
'What the fuck are we gonna do with the bastard?' He said quietly. Vincent turned to him.
'We'll go and talk to him. Then we'll decide, not before.'
Cloud sat in the corner, not paying attention to the others. Truth was, he felt uncomfortable with the older man around. The way those startlingly green Mako eyes would search out his, as if for reassurance. The guy looked about ready to kill himself, and while Cloud was perfectly happy to let him continue, for some reason he felt responsible for him. Cloud shook his head, frowning. The trouble was....Cloud wanted to give him that reasurrance, to tell him that it was over now.
'You coming, Cloud?'
