~*-*~

Sunset. Dark soon. Time to have fun. 'Wail' on some evil, as Charles Gunn would say. But there's so much of it. And I can't stop them. I can't stop the hurt. I can't stop the pain. I can't stop the evil. It doesn't stop. It never stops.

Connor was reflecting as he returned to his room, ready for another night of action. It was what he did for fun. Winifred always said that he should try and play games and watch TV like normal children, but Connor did what he enjoyed best. Making the world safer. And yet, one person lay at the back of his mind. Angelus. His father. And with that thought came the newest person to enter his life, William. Or Spike. Or whatever he called himself. He was evil. He was a demon. He deserved the same fate as his father. He would have to confront him on that later.

Connor entered his bedroom and placed his new wallet on the mahogany desk. The concept of a wallet was still quite foreign, since he had never had a need for one before. But he was trying to adjust. He sighed.

"Just have to get used to this place."

The shadows responded to him.

"Los Angeles is a hard place to get used to."

Connor grabbed his knife, ready to attack.

"Put the knife down Little Peach. I'm not going to hurt you."

A figure moved from the corner shadows of the room.

"Spike."

In the few hours in which he'd known him, Connor had gotten used to his new family member's names for him. He listened to his elder's instructions and placed the knife back in its holder around his waist. One thing to be said for LA over the Quortoth, clothes are better in LA. Much better.

"We need to talk."

"Indeed we do. Sit."

Spike was being authoritative. He was a little uncomfortable as he didn't know Connor all to well, and this was reflected in the way he sat opposite Connor, shifting a little every few minutes. Connor perched on the edge of the bed as Spike rested on the dresser. After this he found his ground, and Spike decided the only way to go was by dropping the intimidation act and going for pure honesty.

"I don't know you, Spike. I don't even know if what you've told us is true. But if it is, you're a monster. And you deserve to die. Yet you claim to feel guilt, to have a conscience. A soul. Why haven't you killed yourself?"

"Because, Connor, there is more to life, and unlife, than vengeance. Killing myself doesn't do anybody any good. It doesn't bring back those that I killed. I'm more helpful to this world undead than alive. I bite the dust, and there's one less fighter for good on this earth. You understand?"

"But you should be punished. You have not paid penance for your sins."

"Oh but I have. Do you know what it's like to be a vampire?"

"No."

"Well, it's like this... you kill demons all the time, but think nothing of it, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Now think about all the demons who have lost their sisters, or their brothers thanks to you. Imagine young baby creatures, who haven't harmed a single thing in their short existence who now have no one to feed them or protect them. And they're going to suffer and die, because of you."

"Oh my god."

"Exactly. Now imagine that instead of killing semi-innocent demons, you've been killing humans. Loads of them. Innocent ones. For over a century."

"Oh my god."

"See that pain, the dull repetitive knife stabbing you in the ribs? Do you feel it? *That's* what it feels like when you get a soul. And it doesn't stop. Not for one moment of any day, of any week, of any month. It goes on forever. Always."

Connor's head dropped as it all sunk in. He almost cried. It was partially because he now understood what real guilt was, and also because he was feeling it.

"It must be so awful for you. How do you keep going?"

"Not very well. You know, I've only had this soul for a few months. Don't know how I'll be after a hundred years of it, gnawing away at me. But I'm coping. Just about. Granted, better than your father..."

The younger one flinched at his mention. Spike noticed, yet ignored it.

"As you can see, I'm not wandering around moping and eating rats, but if it hadn't been for him, I probably would. He's a good guy, your father is. Wherever he is."

"I was told... growing up... I was told Angelus was a monster."

"Angelus is a monster, but you have to see him as two different people. Angelus may have been a cold-hearted calculating bastard, but he was the biggest pansy you've ever seen. Trust me. I remember this one time, we went to see the ballet. Drusilla, your sister I suppose, was in a frightful state, she wanted a ballerina you see. So we went. And we watched it all before picking out a dancer for her. Not to eat mind you, to dance for her. Keep her entertained you know. Angelus claimed before going in that "the grand finale will be a beautiful massacre". You wanna know what really happened at the end?"

"What?"

"Weeping like a baby. "But it was so *moving*..." he said! A sap, I swear to you."

Connor laughed, and Spike had to join in. It was nice, sharing little stories. The air was finally clearing between them. It was a nice break.

"Yes, well, the thing is, Angelus has a soul now. And he changed. I mean, the guilt alone made him change. We call him Angel now. Helps differentiate between the two. Angel would never hurt you. In fact, I don't think Angelus would either. Especially considering that you're his son."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. I was like a son to him you know... and he took care of me."

Spike took a serious tone, as he knew he was getting off track from what he really wanted to know. He also needed Connor on his side, if he was to get what he wanted.

"I know you know where he is."

Connor got up and started to pace about the room. Spike never budged from his position on the dresser.

"No I don't."

"Is that so? You're a lousy liar."

"I got rid of him. He killed my father!"

"*Angel's* your father! Holtz lied to you!"

"Shut up!"

Tension started brewing again, and the sensible thing would be to get it under control, but neither party was giving in to sensibility.

"I won't shut up until you listen! Angel would never kill anyone. Not without good reason. He wouldn't lie to you. If he said he didn't kill Holtz, then he didn't. What makes you think he killed him anyway?"

"Justine told me of Angelus' crime, and my father had..."

"He's *not* your father!"

"*Holtz* had his mark on his neck."

Spike sighed and glanced at the heavens for an answer.

"First sign something's up. Think! Why would Angelus kill your father in full sight of someone else? Especially if he didn't want anyone to know?"

"Well..."

"Secondly, and even thought it's not a nice image to bring up, I know Angel, and he *doesn't* kill people that way. Biting and drawing blood? Nah. If he wanted Holtz dead, he would have snapped his neck. Quick and easy. I know my Angel, and he doesn't like the mess."

"Spike, why would Justine lie to me?"

"You tell me."

Realisation sunk into Connor as he fell into Spike and it could be seen on his face. Realisation and despair. He'd punished Angel for the wrong crime, and he didn't know how to cope with it.

"Oh no. No."

Connor held onto Spike in his sadness. It was almost as though Connor had gained a soul. Spike could see it, and that he was getting through to the boy. And in getting through to the boy, he was getting closer to Angel.

"Where is he Connor?"

"I killed him, I made him suffer... I hurt him so much..."

"He's not dead Connor, he's not. Just tell me where you last saw him, tell me what you know."

And so Connor spilled it all. The story and his tears. How he'd worked with Justine to pack Angel up and dumped him in the ocean. How Justine had run away and left him once they'd gotten back to shore. How he'd ended up in the one place he felt he could belong. Connor was angry and hurt, but the anger was aimed at himself for being so stupid and acting so stupid. His father, his real father was right. He didn't understand how this world worked.

"I was so naïve, so easily manipulated..."

"Yeah? Happens to the best of us. At least you've got an excuse. You're not over 120."

"You're that old?"

"Uh huh."

"You keep yourself well."

"Thanks."

Cue awkward silence.

"Enough with the chit chat. We've got to get him back."

Now it was Spike's turn to pace. He was racking his brain, trying to get around all the new information. Angel. Bottom of the ocean. Huge iron coffin. Huh.

"Okay, first of all, you're coming clean to the others out there. Meanwhile, I'm going out to rent us a boat and some diving equipment."

"What? I can't tell them, they'd kill me."

"Remember what I said? Won't kill you, they're not like that. You're just going to be grounded for one heck of a long time when your dad gets back here..."

"But won't they be mad?"

"Yes, they will be. Very mad. But only for about 5 minutes. It doesn't matter, I'm going to be in there with you anyway. I'm only there for moral support though, I'm not telling them for you. The important thing is that we get Angel back safely. And we have to go quickly. It's coming up to 7:30, and we have to find him and get him back here before sun up. It may take a while to find him. We have to hurry. Come on."

Connor sat there, fear in his eyes, as he was about to face the music. He was about to be judged. Spike saw it, and smiled. He needed encouragement.

"He'd die for you, you know that right? Soul or no soul. Angel or Angelus. He looked out for his own. And you're one of us, all right? Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You may not be a vampire, but you're part of my family now. You got that?"

"I understand."

"He did everything for you, I'm certain of it. Now you have to do something for him. Can you?"

"I can."

"That's what I wanted to hear."

The two got up and started to move towards the door. As Spike leaned in to open the door, Connor looked up at him in desperate need of some courage.

"Thank you."

"No problem Lil' Peach. Don't be so worried. It's things like this that build character. Now let's go. You've got to face your destiny."

"Indeed I do."

"You look like him you know? I can see him in you."

Spike smiled as an idea came to him, one that he found highly amusing.

"Tell you what. We spin by the shops on our way out to the beach. I'm buying you a leather coat."

~*-*~


Author's Note: You guys spoil me, you really do. The reviews are on *two* pages! ::squeals:: Thanks to you guys I'm writing more and faster. Although I've noticed that I seem to favour dialogue over description... is that a good thing?

Oh and by the way, if you read something being echoed by a character, be it echoing from another chapter or the show itself, there's a reason for it. I haven't been hanging out at the BC&S board for the past year+ without learning a little bit about foreshadowing... That reminds me. Massive shout out to all my BC&S buds! We Rock! NMKTS forever!

Ahem. I should get back to writing huh?