~*-*~

Spike fingered the small objects that littered the shelves of the so-called bedroom. It was insanely ornate, that was for sure. But it can be assumed that it's easy to build big underwater, since rent for sea-space must be quite low.

"So... this is where you've been staying all this time then?"

Angel was lounging on his bed whilst talking to Spike. Half the time was spent being genuinely interested in what the boy had to say, the rest of the time trying to guess what evil scheme he was implementing. Except this proved difficult for Angel, since whatever plan Spike had, he wasn't letting slip. And the idea of Spike having a plan and not boasting about it yet implied that he didn't have a plan, and was genuinely being helpful. Spike? Helpful? Antonyms to the ninth degree.

"Not all the time. I spent quite a while in an iron coffin I'll have you know. Then the mermaids broke me out and took me with them. Said I was to protect them and be their Champion. Who was I to argue?"

"What is this?"

Angel was shaken out of his thoughts.

"What's what?"

"This card... 'Angel Investigations'? Because that's not in the least bit poncy."

Spike had found one of the calling cards for the agency on the dresser.

"And what the hell is this supposed to be? Looks like a... heck I don't know. My mind draws a blank. What is it supposed to be?"

Angel got up in order to take the card from Spike and inspect what he was talking about.

"You probably can't tell because the water smudged it... or not."

The card was perfect.

"Huh. I guess Cordy must have used the extra money we came into to start laminating them."

"Cordy?"

"Yeah, Cordy designed the cards. It's an angel."

Spike's knack for noticing the subtlest of things in people's character came back into play. He raised his eyebrows and turned to his sire.

"'Cordy' is it now? Cordelia Chase. The Cheerleader?"

"Don't give me that look."

"What look?! Oooh... someone's getting paranoid. I was just wondering how you were close enough to her to be calling her Cordy."

Angel rolled his eyes.

"I don't have to answer to you."

"Well well well! Would you look at this? It seems I've struck a nerve. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jonesing for her."

"I am not 'jonesing' for anyone thank you."

Spike put his arms up in a mock retreat.

"I'm not necessarily implying that it's a bad thing if you like her. Maybe she looks good nowadays."

"What do you mean maybe?"

Spike skipped about mentioning why.

"Well, I haven't seen her since that time I... err... had you tortured."

"What do you mean you haven't seen her? I thought she was up on the surface waiting for us!"

"No. Wes, Gunn, Fred and Connor are up there. I didn't see your Cordy..."

"She's not my Cordy."

Spike smirked at Angel's insistence. Oh yeah, he obviously had no feelings whatsoever for this girl.

"Well I didn't ask for her! Just assumed she'd stopped working with you. She's not there. Nor was she at the hotel."

"You were at my hotel?"

"Oh for God's sake! Has anyone ever told you just how much of a possessive bastard you really are? Of course I was at your bloody hotel! How do you think I caught up with your gang?"

"Well, I was somewhat surprised. I mean, they're rather weary of my family now. Can't believe they're trusting you."

"Ahh yes. Drusilla told me."

"Where is Dru anyway?"

Spike snorted.

"How the hell should I know?"

"Trouble in paradise?"

"What?!"

"Just wondered why Dru didn't come down with you. She always liked swimming."

Spike gave Angel one of the most incredulous looks known to man.

"How long have you been out of touch Angel? Dru and I broke up over three and half *years* ago!"

"I heard you got back together again after that chaos demon incident."

We did. Then she cheated on me again...

"Something else came up."

"What?"

Buffy.

"Irrelevant."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Wow. Last time I saw her was after you set her and Darla on fire. She was *not* happy."

Angel bowed his head at the memory of the dark patch of his recent life.

"Why did you do it? Why did you try and kill her? Were you punishing her? Punishing her for doing what you made her to do?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Drusilla told me what you did. You left her and Darla in a cellar with a large group of, what was it, 'nasty wicked men and the most evil women'. To translate, you *locked* them in there, and those men and women Dru was talking about just happen to be those Wolfram and Hart lawyers who are getting up your arse right?"

"Dru told you that?"

"Mmm-hmm. She wanted me to join her and Darla and help with the turning you evil thing. She wanted her family back together."

"And you didn't come with and help destroy me? Sounds right up your alley."

"I'll have you know that I had no reason to screw you over. I have life easy in Sunnydale and..."

"You're still living at the Hellmouth?"

"Yeah... Again. How long have you been out of it? I've been living there since... a few months after I last saw your Cordy."

Angel threw himself back onto the bed.

"Would you *stop* calling her my Cordy!"

"Do you realise that you're a hair's breath from pulling her pigtails and running across the playground? My, you are touchy on that subject."

Angel was growing more and more irritable and his tense posture and glowering expression made this even clearer.

"Spike. They have a room made up for you. Go."

"But we have to go home..."

"Just go! Please! Leave me alone! Pester someone else! We can talk about escaping later but for now, just get lost!"

Spike sniffed and pouted, whilst speaking in a highly sarcastic voice that only served wind his sire up further.

"You want me to leave? What's the matter? Don't you love me anymore?"

Upon receiving an exasperated glare from Angel, Spike snorted. It was pretty much official that no one else could quite rub Angel up the wrong way just as much as Spike could.

"Right then. I'll just leave you to mope over your Cordy shall I?"

"Spike! Doorknob! Give it a twist, see what it does..."

The mocking continued as Spike moved to open the door.

"Yes sir! What ever you say sir! Right away sir!"

At which point Spike twisted said doorknob and opened the door only to have a pile of blue scales and flesh come tumbling into the room. Spike motioned to the lump.

"Why Master Angelus, I believe you have visitors!"

The two girls scrambled to pick themselves up, brush their tails off and tousle their hair.

"We're sorry Champion, we offer our sincerest apologies."

"Yes Champion, we're so very sorry."

Angel sat up from his position on the bed.

"You're forgiven."

""You're forgiven"?!!"

Spike's eyes widened. Angel merely waved him off.

"What can I do you for ladies?"

The first of the two girls drifted forward to speak. They looked almost identical, only identifiable by the fact that this one was more forthright than the other.

"Thank you, most gracious and forgiving one, we didn't mean to intrude on your conversation..."

Spike just stared. He couldn't get his mind around the sycophancy.

"And to believe I thought it couldn't get worse than with Glory!"

"... but we were listening in."

The other one piped in to cover up the previous mistake.

"Listening in, but in no ways eavesdropping."

"Right! Not eavesdropping..."

The two girls were gesturing wildly in some mock attempt to explain their faux pas.

"But we heard what you said to your son and..."

"I am *not* his..."

The girls ignored Spike. After all, Angel was their champion.

"You can't leave us!"

"Oh, we bloody well have to leave!"

Spike was irritated. Here he was, getting closer and closer to getting back to the surface, and fulfilling the promise he made to his newfound nephew, and these fish were screwing up his plans. He moved up next to Angel to talk to the girls.

"Listen. I understand that for some bizarre reason you think you need Angel here, but believe me. There are people up top who need him a lot more than you do. That's why I'm here. To take him back where he's needed."

"But..."

"Don't interrupt me. I'm serious. You want him here so you can have something to praise. Well, this is a life or apocalypse situation. He's coming with me."

"Spike, I can speak for myself you know."

Angel gave Spike a look, and then faced the two girls that were looking at him as though they were about to cry. His voice took a softer tone.

"Ladies, I'm sorry but in his own tactless way, my son is right."

"I am *not* your..."

"I have a family, of sorts, back above sea-level and they need me. I'm going to have to go."

"Then take us with you."

The more forthright one didn't even think before saying it. She wanted to go wherever Angel went. After all, Angel was the reason for living. Without him, she wouldn't know what she'd do. Many would think that she had an unhealthy fixation with him, and they would be right.

"What?! Would you excuse us?"

The second girl dragged the first back to speak to her.

Are you insane? How are we supposed to go with him?

Well, when they escape, we escape with them.

May I just point out that they plan on going back to LA top soil, which we obviously can't do because of two little issues I like to call LEGS!

Are you honestly telling me they don't have water on land?

No, I'm telling you you're crazy. How exactly are we supposed to just swan off? They clearly plan on leaving soon! So what, we go to Dad and say "Hey, your two only daughters are going to leave forever. But don't worry, we'll be safe, despite not knowing where we're actually going to go..."

You're exaggerating. The Champion owns a hotel. We heard him say so.

That doesn't mean anything! Who's to say he'll even let us stay with him?

He's The Champion. He's kind and graceful to all and would never leave us.

Okay. You're my little sister and I love you, but I have to make this point clear... You're crazy!

Spike and Angel watched on as the two girls gestured wildly at each other.

"Is it just me, or do you feel like you're in the middle of watching some sort of mime theatre?"

"They communicate telepathically Spike."

Angel parted his acquired wisdom of the last few months.

"The only reason they have been orally talking to us is..."

"Because of the vampire thing. I got you."

The vampires continued to watch them conversing, however the differences between the two vampires showed even here. Angel took this opportunity to watch their body language in an attempt to understand their true nature, and read their emotions. Spike on the other hand decided to make a funny screen play in his head giving a voice over for the action in front of him. Well, if he was going to be stuck underwater, he might as well entertain himself...

Come on, it'll be fun! We can see new things, go new places!

We can see new things here. We have television.

Wouldn't you rather see things first hand?

No.

But this is the perfect chance for us! We can expand our horizons! Aren't you always the one saying we should be more impulsive and seize opportunities that arise?

That was you! I'm the one who's always saying let's NOT be impulsive and let's think things through!

Whatever. I'm going. And you're coming with.

Before she could object again she was dragged by her younger sister to stand in front of The Champion and his 'son'.

"Yes. Take us with you."

Angel inwardly sighed.

"Listen. I understand that you feel attached to me but..."

"Oh, screw this you lousy poof."

Spike wasn't fond of the gentle approach.

"You can't come with us. Okay? We have lives up top, none of which can really involve mermaids. Even if we did take you, we would be stretched for places to keep you."

The younger, more forthright girl began to crumble under Spike's harsh tone. Her eyes brimmed with tears, not that it was noticeable underwater of course. Her eyes just appeared to widen.

"We don't even know what you eat for crying out loud! That's not to mention the people who'd want to get their hands on you. Because I have to tell you. Mermaids? Not all to common where we live. And that just scratches the surface of why you cannot come with us."

She'd started to pout by this point.

"And what's more..."

Her bottom lip was quivering.

"Oh bollocks. Angel, can't we take them with us?"

Now Angel was the one who was getting angry.

"Spike! You weak little twerp! You *just* said that we couldn't take them back with us to LA."

"Oh but look! How can you say no to this face?"

"Watch me. No."

"But why not?"

Now it was Angel's turn to give Spike an unbelieving look.

"How about all the reasons you just gave? We can't have mermaids swimming about the hotel! We have nowhere to put them!"

Spike racked his brain for an answer.

"Of course we do... the pool! The swimming pool! We can clean it up, add a little salt and everything. They can live there."

An alarm bell went off in Angel's head.

"Okay, wait just a minute. First of all, you go to *my* hotel for reasons you have yet to give me, you make friends with *my* co-workers, you create a familial bond with *my* son, you make yourself at home in *my* home, and then you search through my stuff to the point where you know I have a pool?! What is your agenda?!"

Angel was partially furious, and partially curious. Not to mention becoming increasingly paranoid. From what he'd heard, Spike was making successes where he hadn't. To Angel, Wesley seemed to have reconciled with the group if he was up there with Gunn and Fred. All in all meaning that his family was complete (with the exception of Cordelia of course) and relatively happy with one another.

What was bugging Angel even more was the impression that Connor was giving Spike the time and affection he never got, and that hurt. Losing the one and only son he was ever going to have was hard, hell it was hard enough to lose him the first time, but again? And this time it wasn't even to a worthy opponent. He was losing Connor to Spike. Spike. A vampire. One of the deadliest vampires around, a being of pure evil, and Angel knew this too. After all, he was responsible for this creature of utter malevolence. He made Spike what he is. Yet somehow, Connor had clearly put more trust in Spike than he ever had in Angel. Angel knew it made no sense. How could there be such a double standard with his son? Connor had tried to kill him. Connor hated Angel. Because he was a vampire. And yet Connor put his trust in this one? According to Connor, all demons were the same. Evil. Connor had accepted that Angel was good. He had a soul. And at the same time, Connor still dumped him at the bottom of the ocean. Meanwhile, Connor had no qualms about making friends with Spike, a vampire. An evil soulless vampire. Angel knew in his heart that it made no sense, and his mind kept telling him that he was being childish and jealous, but his subconscious held an image of Spike engulfed by green flames that only grew hotter and more violent every time Spike opened his mouth.

"I don't have an agenda! I only know about the pool because I was hanging with Gunn..."

He's been hanging with Gunn?

Those flames just became more volatile.

"...and he talked about what happened when Connor first came back. You know, the weird demon slugs or whatever they were, your Cordy and her glowing thing... So he showed me."

The younger sister, forever the impatient one tried to move the conversation on.

"So, can you take us home?"

"Yeah, can we can we huh?"

Now Angel was denying them purely because they were endorsed by Spike.

"No."

"But I promise they'll be good. I'll take extra special care of them."

"Spike, they're not pets!"

"Awww... you big gay meanie! Please? Please? *Please*?!"

Then Spike pulled out his secret weapon. Well, not secret to Angel since he'd been subjected to Spike's charms for a lifetime or two. Spike used the 'You-Can't-Say-No-To-These-Eyes' trick. So much so that Angel had to avoid looking him straight in the eye whilst inwardly repeating the same mantra.

Don't give in to the boy. Don't give in to the stupid annoying boy...

"Spike, are you forgetting that I'm under constant surveillance from Wolfram and Hart? What happens when they find out?"

"So what if they find out? They're too slick to storm in and steal your mermaids."

Spike sniggered at the mental image he'd created for himself.

"Come on Angel, let's be rational about this."

"I'm the one who's being rational here, you're the one who's being insane!"

And in that moment of unbelieving anger, Angel caught eyes with Spike.

Damn.

Angel had no choice but to resign.

"All right, all right. Fine. You win Spike. I'll take them home."

Spike's mouth crawled into a smug smile. Angel observed Spike's excitement.

"Now who's being immature?"

"I never pretended to be anything but."

Spike turned to the two mermaids.

"You hear that girls? We won. You're coming with us!"

The younger one was jumping up and down in delight, well, jumping as best she could, considering the tail aspect. The elder sister was not as happy, but despite all her doubts she was clearly not unhappy...

"You know, I do feel bad about calling you ladies all the time. I don't even know your names."

They just looked at Spike with puzzled faces.

"Names?"

Angel sighed.

"They don't have names Spike. Creatures that communicate telepathically have no need for them do they? They just... input themselves into each other's brains."

"Okay, in that case, can I name them?"

Angel just gestured at him.

"Do what ever you want."

Spike laughed. There was something about naming mermaids that just seemed insane.

"Well, I guess it's up to me to name you girls!"

The elder one just gave Spike an eye and clipped back in response.

"We're not girls, thank you very much."

Spike was insulted.

"Aren't you a touchy little rodent then? I think I'll name you Katherina then."

The newly named Katherina just folded her arms in protest to being called touchy. And so clearly therefore, she was not touchy... note the sarcasm.

"And you therefore, I will be naming Bianca."

Spike smiled at the girl as he gave her a new name. Bianca just grinned. She was quickly becoming smitten with Spike, something that Angel had noticed too. It wasn't that Angel liked being treated like a God, well he did, but did Spike have to come here and take his worshippers away? Spike was pissing Angel off without even knowing it.

"Bianca huh? I like it. You like your name too don't you Katherina?"

Katherina herself was still pretty angry about being called touchy, but she couldn't deny that she felt a certain affinity with the name.

"It's nice. Thank you."

Spike merely bowed his head in a gentlemanlike manner, giving an insight into his Victorian upbringing. He turned to his sire.

"So, Monsieur 'All-Of-A-Sudden-I'm-God', what's the plan?"

The plan is I rip your fingers off one by one before finally sending you to the big ashtray in the sky.

"Why don't we get some rest and leave in the afternoon? I have some friends I wanna say goodbye to, and you look like you haven't slept in months."

Spike rolled his shoulders. Angel wasn't wrong.

"Actually, we also should go. There are some things we need to check up on before we leave. You know?"

The two vampires just nodded in agreement.

"That's fine. You two do whatever you need to do; I'm going to head off. Spike, please go and get some sleep. Meet back here tomorrow afternoon and then we head for the surface, okay? Spike, you do know where the boat everyone's waiting on is yes?"

Spike rattled his brain for a while.

"Well, if *somebody* hadn't continuously knocked me out, I might have better recollection. However, it's a direct swim up from your iron case so finding the case again is the only problem."

"I can get you there, I know where it is."

"Thanks Bianca."

Bianca and Katherina swam out the door, no doubt heading for home to collect their precious things. Spike just jumped into Angel's bed.

"Well, you'd better go off and say goodbye to your mates and all that. See you tomorrow."

Angel looked on with disdain. He was looking forward to killing this annoying childe of his once he got home.

"You know Spike, when I told you to go to bed, I meant *your* bed."

"Ah well, it's not like it matters. You're not going to be using it."

"That's not the issue! Dammit Spike, it's just the principle of the thing! The bed is *mine*. Get out of my bed!"

Angel's over protective nature had extended to the bed he never intended to use. Things were worrying, and Angel was getting angrier all the time. He was about to pop. Spike of course, could never make things better.

"You know back in the day, you always wanted me *in* your bed as I recall..."

Angel could have killed him. Spike was lucky Angel had as much self-restraint as he did.

"That's it! Get out."

"You are such a..."

"I don't care what I am Spike. Now go to bed."

"I'm just saying..."

"Go to bed!"

Spike scoffed and his words were now dripping with sarcasm as he left the room.

"Yes Daddy."

Angel rolled his eyes and inwardly growled. Maybe delaying Spike's murder until he got home was asking too much...

Evening went and morning came. And that was the second day.

~*-*~


Author's Note: Oh yay me! I've finally recaptured the writing bug! I've already written chapters 20 through 24 (and chapter 28, oddly enough. Eh, when you're inspired for a chapter, you just gotta roll with it), and they're just being beta-read at the moment. Because of this I can safely say that from now on I can update regularly. Looking at my schoolwork timetable, probably every Wednesday and Saturday. I'm so proud of me. Never written anything this long before and stuck with it. [giggles with glee]

Are people still reading this story? I'm not hurt or anything, just widely curious. Because there have got to be things I need to work on right? Do you guys out there think there are things I should be focusing on in response to my writing? I'm trying to get better, I mean it! I wanna hear your thoughts on my style and ways to improve it, thoughts on the plot and possible plot mistakes or whatever, bad characterisation etc. Criticise me please. Put me down.