A/N: Guess what!! I do own Inuyasha (holds up a plush doll). See!! Just kidding *le sigh* though I so wish I did, cause then I'd have fanfic contests for everyone on FF.net and use an idea in an episode, cause ya'll write the BEST STUFF!! Anyway, I don't have any monetary rights to anything doing with Inuyasha *sob*

Just for everyone's information, I had to change the censorship rating, only cause I've been informed that this chapter kinda crosses the line on the PG13 rating. *shrug* I'm originally from Italy and I didn't think so, but my American friends informed me that things are a little more taboo. Just so you all know ^_^

Reviews.

lindy*girl(): *smile* The madness is never ending *evil cackle* Seriously, here's your update ^_^

Burnsybabe(): Awww.I'm sorry your heart broke, I promise, all will be mended ^_^

vegito044 : *evil laugh* Where is Inuyasha?? *grin* I'll give you a hint.in the VERY LAST PLACE ANYONE would expect him to be.any guesses??

Colleen(): I'm so pleased that I inspired you, but defiantly school should come first *grins and stares at the pile of papers crying out her name* Yeah, do as I say, not as I do :P

Kats02980416: You'll see.enjoy!!

Kagome: Hehe.I hope you like what I've come up with!!

Previously on Inuyasha *grin and duck*

Kouga kept his vigil on the hut, remaining in the village, and became almost more helpful where he normally would have been a hindrance. Everyone had to admit, that something had changed inside the wolf, something for the better

**********************

Kagome slowly rose from the heaviness that weighed on her, opening her eyes, and blinking several times, as her vision cleared. Her body ached everywhere, and even breathing made the ache spread across her chest. She made a soft noise and felt movement beside her.

"Kagome?" came a familiar soft voice and she shifted her gaze to the side. Shippou stared at her with joyous amazement, "You're awake!!" He cried, and wrapped his arms around her waist as best he could. She flinched at the contact, and he pulled away.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kagome. But I was so scared! You weren't waking up, and I thought.I thought you were going to." he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and with great effort she lifted her hand to gently ruffle the hair on his head affectionately.

"Baka Shippou, I would never leave you alone," she said softly, her voice thick and raspy, as if she hadn't spoken in a long time. He nodded, biting on his lip to keep from truly crying, and Kagome realized at that moment, how much older he was in her eyes. Her eyes- She blinked again as her vision didn't seem to clear. Shippou was very fuzzy around the edges, with a bluish green colored light that wouldn't go away. She placed her hand to her eyes and tried rubbing them clear, but that didn't work either.

"Kagome," he whispered worriedly, and she shook her head, "Nothing Shippou, I'm alright. Can you help me sit up? I seem to be a little stiff."

"Hai, Kaede-sama said you might be," he said and stood behind her, pushing up on her shoulders to help her sit up straight. She resisted the urge to lay back down as her body, obviously inactive for a good period of time, was forced to move again.

There was a rustle and the covering to the doorway flew open, announcing the entrance of Sango, Miroku, and Kaede, in that order. Kagome's eyes widened for a moment, and rubbed her eyes again. They were all fuzzy! Miroku was a soft grey, Kaede glowed violet, and Sango. She glanced at Sango curiously. Sango glowed a soft yellow, but a pale pink around her-

"Sango! You're pregnant!" Kagome exclaimed suddenly, almost loosing her balance, as realization caught up with her mind. Sango looked at her friend, her hands instinctively falling to her stomach.

"How did you-" she began before Kagome rubbed her eyes again. Kaede noticed this movement, "Child, your eyes-"

"I'm alright, Kaede-sama, I just can't seem to focus, everything is a little blurry." She said, rubbing her eyes a little more. Kaede knelt beside her and placed a finger to her forehead. The fuzziness dissipated. Kagome sighed and placed her hands in her lap.

"That's so much better," she said softly, and was quickly surrounded by 4 pairs of arms, hugging her tightly. Sango was crying, so was Shippou, Kaede and Miroku were silent, but as everyone pulled back, she could see their eyes were misty as well.

"What happened?!" Kagome and Sango said at the same time, causing a slight smile to cross Kagome's lips before sadness overtook her features again. Before she could speak, she noticed something else. A thick perfume in the air.

"Night jasmine," she whispered, as tears sprung to her eyes at the memory.

"Kouga's been bringing them every night," Shippou said softly, and Kagome looked at him. The memories flooded her system, and she curled up, as her body was slammed with sorrow. Sango wrapped her arms around her friend, holding her till she was composed enough to speak.

"I.I'm so sorry everyone, I know you've been so worried about me," Kagome whispered.

"What happened Kagome?" Kaede spoke softly, and Sango shook her head. "

No Kagome, you don't have to speak if you don't wish to."

"No, I.you all deserve answers," she whispered softly, pulling her knees to her chest, and resting her head down on her knees, closing her eyes for a moment.

"Kouga had just given me some flowers, night jasmine, as an apology for an insult he dealt Shippou. Inuyasha was there, and ran off. I ran after him, and when I got there, Kikyo had fired an arrow at him. I..I countered it. We argued, and then I.." She took a deep breath, "I took my soul back." She couldn't look at Kaede, she was too ashamed.

"I told you before child, you are the rightful place for that soul, you have not offended me," came Kaede's soft reply.

"I..it was a great shock, when the soul reentered my body, and I remember I couldn't breath, everything inside me froze. That's' when Kikyo, or whatever you wanted to call her at that point. She was going to kill me, with one of her arrows. Inuyasha." she paused again, before whispering rapidly, "Inuyasha saved me. He killed Kikyo."

Her words hung heavily with everyone. They all understood how hard that must have been, not only on Kagome, but on their hanyou friend. Kagome's voice broke, "He.I haven't seen him so distraught since that time with the thieves. He was so wild, so incredibly sad. He looked at me, and said he had killed me. He saw Kikyo in me. And then, he ran.he left me." She buried her head in her arms, "I don't remember what happened after that , just I woke up here."

The group looked around at each other, silently debating if they should tell her the next chapter of her story.

"So, Inuyasha wasn't around when." Shippou began, and paused. Kagome looked up at them, "When what? What happened?!" She felt her heart jump painfully in her throat.

"I.I was coming to get you Kagome, you just screamed." Sango whispered softly, "Like you were dying, and then there was this incredible light, like the sun but a thousand times brighter. Kirara grabbed me and got me out of there. When the light disappeared, the only things still standing were the Goshinboku and the well. You had collapsed, and the forest. the forest was destroyed."

Kagome's hand flew up to her mouth, "Inuyasha?!" she whispered hoarsely, and Sango shook her head, "We.we haven't found any trace of him, so he might have gotten out of the area before it happened."

"He might? HE MIGHT?!" Kagome screamed. "NO!" she dug her fingernails into her arms, as hard tears wracked her body. Miroku stepped up and to everyone's dismay, reached back and slapped her hard.

"Kagome!" he cried, and she stopped her wailing, staring up at him in disbelief, along with two other pairs of eyes.

"Kagome! Inuyasha is alive! He did not die, you didn't kill him! Get a hold of yourself miko-sama! If you go wild with grief again, you may invoke the powers that you used that night, and think of the damage you'll cause. The village, the people inside, us. Do not let your grief consume you! Think with hope that soon enough Inuyasha will come to his senses and return."

Kagome stared at him, and before anyone could stop her, she was on her feet, dashing out of the hut. Sango and Shippou rose to follow, but both Kaede and Miroku stopped them.

"No, she needs to do this alone," Kaede said softly, watching her apprentice run, hoping that she could find her precious center again.

Kagome ran blind into the forest, or rather what was left of the forest. Branches and brush scratched and scraped at her, but she didn't care. She knew where she had to go, she had to see for herself. She had to sense that he didn't die there, because of her pain and guilt. She ran past the burn lines, and towards the tree standing in the center of her path of destruction, green leaves still blowing peacefully in the breeze. She ran to the well, seeing the singes along its borders, but still whole. And just beside it, she saw the small shrine, erected in the memory of the miko who had fallen there.

Kagome fell to her knees and screamed at it, "Kikyo, you bitch!" She hated to swear, but all her anger and grief came out uncontrolled. "Even in death, I can't win can I? I've finally returned to myself, completed everything. I finished your job, I purified the Shikon no Tama, I protected YOUR village, I'm studying to follow in YOUR footsteps. All I ever wanted in this world and you STILL took it from me, even in death! All I wanted was my heart and soul, and you stole it from me. Its all your fault.why couldn't you just let us be happy?! Why Kikyo, you cold dead bitch, why!!" She dug at the dirt before the shrine, screaming out her anguish for Kikyo to hear, even in the afterlife. Soon grief followed, and her voice softened to a whisper, "Why Kikyo? Why did you have to take my heart and soul? You're dead, I'm alive, and you've still taken him from me."

A pair of warm hands placed themselves on her shoulders, large strong hands. Kagome's heart leapt with joy as she turned and wrapped her arms around the waist that awaited her.

"Inu-" she began when her senses kicked in and she quickly pushed him away. Her eyes narrowed.

"Kouga," she whispered and he stood there, unable to meet her gaze.

"I'm glad you're awake Kagome," he whispered, and she stood, "Kouga, this is really a bad time, and I'm not in the mood to be kidnapped right now."

She turned to walk away when a rush of air at her feet caught her attention. Kouga had fallen to his knees, and was clutching his hands together.

"Gomen Kagome, for all those times, when I tried to force your heart. I should have known better. I know you love Inu-kor..Inuyasha, and I know that in your heart I cannot replace him. But, he is not here, and I am. I want the chance, to prove myself, and perhaps you can find room for me. Perhaps I can heal you. Please, let me stay with you."

Kagome was genuinely shocked at this admission from the wolf, he was humbling himself before her, asking for a chance. She glanced back at the last place she had seen Inuyasha, and could almost see him standing there, silvery white hair blowing in the breeze, his golden eyes staring into her soul. Kouga's words struck a painful memory in her heart. It was here, that she had asked Inuyasha the same question, "Can I stay with you?" She had to turn her head away from the memory, bringing her hand to her lips to stop from crying.

She didn't' want the wolf, she wanted her Inuyasha. She was so stupid, trying to make him jealous with the stupid courting game she told them to play. Time wasted, so much precious time wasted. She couldn't give Kouga the same answer Inuyasha had given her. She knew that Kouga could never find a place in her heart, because she no longer had a heart, her heart was far away from this place, a blur of silver and red, out of her life forever.