Okay, so here it is, my other story. Well, just so you know, I had a major brainstorm one day and decided to do a story in first person. This was the one way that seemed to interest me. So here it goes:
Is That Supposed to Happen?
Dear Diary,
This is my first entry in my first diary, so I'm not really sure how it will work. Lets hope it'll go well since I have like, no diary writing skills. Well no, let me rephrase; I have no skills whatsoever. The mere fact that I am still alive constantly frightens me... but back to the diary thing:

Actually, it's a shock that I am writing in this - you. I keep forgetting that I am writing to you. Or is it supposed to be someone else that i'm writing to...? Either way, I'm shocked. When my therapist suggested that I use this diary - YOU, you, you, you, you, you, you (sorry, just practising.) - when he suggested that I use YOU to get rid of my inner rage, I smiled like a good girl and nodded my head agreeably. Then, when I got home, I forgot to take it out of my Mary Poppins bag and never saw it again.

Well, I guess that was a lie. I obviously saw it again, or how would I be writing in it. I came up across YOU when I was looking through my bag for some food. I was in a dire situation. I was walking across the arctic ice barefoot, for some unexplainable reason, it was uphill all the way, and I was freezing my butt off.

I wish. No, it was really and truly something so stupid, that I could just cry thinking about it. All I had done was go into the public washrooms in Dress Wright!

I know that they have a strict rule that says you can only use their washrooms if you're buying something, but I really had to go! It was nature, not something I could control. I figured that maybe they would kick me out, or force me to work there to pay off the washroom debt I owed them. (Is there such a thing? Well, I would have to pay something so why not?...)

You can imagine my shock when I put my bag over my shoulder, unlocked the door, and looked out expecting shiny mirrors, to see a forest.

WHY? All I ever did was number one! Its not like I did number two and stank up the whole place! I mean, I even sprayed a little perfume around the cubicle to make sure! This was how I would pay!?!! All I did was relieve my self, I didn't murder anyone!

I guess that the next guy who I came across didn't understand that. He sorta freaked me out. He was running towards me frantically and was kinda dirty - in the physical sense - and he was holding a very crude type of weapon. I didn't like the look of him, so I picked up the rock near me that was a little sharp, and gripped it in my hand.

He kept coming closer, so I decided to throw it. The rock hurtled at him...then hurtled right past him. I swore and turned to run. When I turned around, might I add, the cubicle had disappeared. So had the entire store! Where was I supposed to go now?

I didn't have much time to determine that because the freaky guy that had ran towards me? Yeah, well he was pointing the crude weapon right at my back. I ran like hell towards the trees. The miniature opening that let me through was just big enough for me to get through, but wouldn't let the freaky thing through so I stopped running for a bit.

Like I said, I had no skills whatsoever, so I had to stop because my heart was beating so fast that it sounded like a train going over the tracks, and I couldn't breathe either. So I stopped and steadied myself while the freaky thing searched around for me.

I could hear it pushing the branches aside, and grunting and snarling, and I swear I heard it's stomach growling. At least I think it was a stomach. I can be sure because as I said, it was grunting and snarling. But that may have been his stomach too, but stomachs can't snarl, can they?

So either this guy was really hungry and wanted some bills off me to head off to the local McDonald's, or, he wanted to kill me. My 'hoping and wishing' part of me told me that it was the former problem. My 'get real' part of me told me it was the latter. I listened to the latter and snuck away from him.

You know what? I never really determined whether it was a guy or a girl. That was very sexist of me. I had no right to determine that he was a guy- wait a minute. That makes no sense. I guess I say 'he' because it turned out that it was a he.

I found this out when I was sneaking around in the bush. I had taken a wrong turn and ended up at a place that was so obviously a campsite. I determined this by seeing the roaring fire and group of people gathered around it. The tents helped a little.

I wasn't sure about how they would take me and since the 'get real' portion of my head was on overdrive, I left. I should probably say 'tried to leave' instead of 'I left' because when I turned around, I was met by something very pointy and sharp.

It looked like an arrow, but at the time I was thinking that it was some kind of branch from a tree that was poking out at me. I tried to brush it away, but when it didn't move, I realized that there was a person holding it. My first thought was: why would someone hold a branch like that?

Yeah, my brain functioning skills are just as good as my rock throwing ones. It took me an entire minute to figure out that he was holding an arrow in my face. Not only an arrow, but a ready-to-fire arrow.

I stood wide eyed at the person, who said, "don't move." I don't know if he noticed, but I had ceased moving several moments ago. Again I say 'he' when I really had no proof. Truth be told, I thought that 'he' was a 'she' when I saw he/she.

He/she had long blonde hair that was shiny and straight - so shiny, that I wondered what shampoo he/she used because the one that I was currently using did not help me get 85% smoother, silkier hair. He/she had very odd clothing and I would have suggested that he should try shopping at Dress Wright, but I remembered the events leading up to the point at which I got to that current position, and changed my mind. The unspoken death threat also kept me quiet.

He/she led me to the campfire. (I was wondering why he walked me there when he specifically told me to not move.) Then it occurred to me that it was frikin freezing out there. No worries, my jacket was stuffed into my bag. If only psycho man/woman would let me move something other than my legs.

We stopped at the fire where everyone was standing and staring at me. Did I have something in my teeth, you ask? I still do not know up until this day.

A very old man in a very ugly hat and cape swooshed over to me. He looked me up and down and asked the man/woman if something was wrong. I frowned but didn't say anything. I figured the man/woman might want me to keep quiet. Although I wonder why he asked if something was wrong when something obviously was: I was being held at arrow point by a person who could be either a man or woman - or both!

When everything was explained by both sides, and everything was answered (I still don't think they understood the whole Dress Wright thing), we got down to introductions. The intros were actually quite interesting. They went a little something like this:

"Yes, I am quite sorry about the entire misunderstanding...thing," I said slowly. I didn't think that they were daft or anything, but they were talking all classy and stuff, so I decided to do the same thing. It didn't really work, but thankfully they just lowered their confusedness to blank stares. It really helped my ego. Really.

"It's quite alright, my Lady" the guy with dark hair that looked like it needed a barber from this century said. Like I said, they were big with the whole classy stuff. I mean, who uses 'my Lady' on a regular basis. And he didn't sound half as uncertain as I did when saying it. What was worse was that the entire group was nodding their heads as if agreeing with the 'my Lady' thing.

I suddenly yelped. The freaky thing had come back and was standing behind the guy who needed a good barber. He was in front of the guy who was too short to be true. Well, to be more descriptive (there were four guys who were too short to be true), it was the one who was a little more cheerful than the rest. I think he was the youngest. Must have been about twenty or something.

When I yelped, they all began to draw their weapons. Needless to say, I was even more freaked. I suppose it didn't help when I pointed at the freaky thing and yelled, "get away from me you freaky thing."

When I turned around to run, I swear that the man/woman had a smile. But when I looked again, it was only a very, very, very tiny strain on the muscles around his mouth. I learned later that he, yes he, didn't smile much.

So when I saw his smile, I stopped and glared at him. "What's so funny," I asked suspiciously.

Then another guy (this one looked like a chauvinistic pig), said, "the one who you just screamed at is a friend of ours. Gimli is a dwarf."

I eyed him suspiciously. "A dwarf, huh? Why were you chasing me?" I asked him.

He looked at me in the eye and responded gruffly, "I thought you would make good food." He looked at me speculatively. "But I suppose that you would not make a full meal even for me."

I looked at him disdainfully. "Person who stuck an arrow in my face, are dwarves always this savage?" I am so sure he nearly smiled!

The dwarf Gimli guffawed. I never thought that guffawing was possible. I never knew what 'guffaw' meant until I heard it. I heard it come from Gimli. He truly guffawed.

Anyway, after I met Frodo the serious hobbit, Sam the overprotective hobbit, Merry the funny hobbit, Pippin the cheerful hobbit, Gandalf the I can do 'nearly' everything wizard, Boromir the actually not so chauvinistic but somewhat arrogantl Man, Aragorn the kingly man, Gimli the couldn't be funny if he tried dwarf, and Legolas the arrow in your face elf, we were all set to separate.

We never did.

There was more to the story, but I'm going to tell you the rest of the story, but the entire city is asleep, and I still haven't put out my candle. I think I'll stop writing now and save the rest for later. G'night.

That was the first, be ready for the second. I think that this story is a lot better than my first one, but that is for you to decide.

"Literary skills are in the eye of the reader." (Me! Just right now! Aren't I a genius?) And yes, I do have brain functioning skills.

I am thinking of how I am going to reveal my character to you all. (I couldn't get myself to put down 'y'all' sorry.) I can't seem to figure out what I am going to do next. My friend is asking me when this story takes place, and my answer is that I have no idea. The brainstorm lasted for only a half hour, and my brain is so fatigued that I really have no clue as to what happens next. If you have any ideas, let me know, and I will try to work 'all' the suggestions in. (that truly means all).

Keep lovin, Wannabe