Gutterflower

"Up, Up, Up"



"Miss Weasley?" a voice sounded. Ginny opened her eyes and met the face of a kind-looking old woman dressed in white robes. Pain throbbed through her, and she shifted uncomfortably on the starchy sheets covering the hospital cot.


Her mouth was dry, she felt tired, and it seemed as though she wasn't really awake. Everything around her appeared in a blurry haze. "Yes…?"


"Miss Weasley," the old woman stated once more, lowering herself into a chair next to the hospital cot. "How are you feeling?" Ginny groaned. The old woman placed her hand onto Ginny's. "Do you need something to eat or drink?"


"Something to drink would be nice," Ginny answered, but found that her voice wasn't hers. It was filled with sleep, with pain.


The old woman conjured up a glass of water and handed it to Ginny. Ginny took it into her hands, tipped it back, and took a generous sip. She set it back down on a stand next to her bed. "Who're you?" Ginny asked.


"I'm Healer Halibert," said the old woman. She smiled gently. "I'm the head healer at St. Mungo's. I took care of you. Do you remember anything?"


Ginny shook her head. She didn't want to remember anything.


A sad, pained smile took over the gentle one that had been there moments before on Healer Halibert's face. She squeezed Ginny's hand, gave it a reassuring pat, and drew her hand back. "Do you need anything else? Are you sure that you're feeling alright?"


"There's pain… a little bit of pain…"


"Oh, yes, I expected that." Healer Halibert drew her wand and muttered a small spell. Ginny felt an instant wave of relief spread through her body. She put her hands on her stomach.


By placing her hands on her stomach, a small shot of pain spread through her once more. Ginny gasped and picked her hands back off of herself, looking over at Healer Halibert. The old healer turned her head and looked at the floor. Ginny gently pressed on her stomach, and another shot of pain spread through her, like growing wildfire.


It felt like a new wound - a wound rather recently closed, tender and still aching. Ginny felt tears fill her eyes and she made no effort to wipe them away. "What's… what's wrong with me?"


Healer Halibert looked back at Ginny, once more taking her seat at her side. "I didn't want to tell you just yet, Virginia. I thought that we should wait a while, wait until you've had a chance to rest and get used to the pain, a little bit. But, seeing as how you've figured things out -"


"What's wrong with me? Tell me! What's wrong?"


Ginny had placed her hands on her stomach once more, gently pressing down on it and pulling back when the pain became a little too much. It didn't feel normal… something was wrong.


The healer sighed. "Miss Weasley… It's always hard to explain these things to new mothers… especially to ones as young as you are." Ginny stared at her.


"Tell me what? Tell me…!"


"It isn't easy to tell you this, Miss Weasley. I'm afraid that you've lost your child. There was nothing we could do to save it…"


Ginny clutched hard at the starchy sheets. She lost it… and it was all Draco's fault.


*****



Molly and Arthur Weasley came that day to St. Mungo's, not knowing exactly what to expect. Perhaps Ginny had decided to take a paternity test? Yes, that must've been what this fiasco was all about. What else would they be called to St. Mungo's for, concerning their daughter?


Ginny had been asleep when they first came to St. Mungo's, and on the bedside table there had been various (and many) phials of potions. Mrs. Weasley felt her stomach constrict. What was wrong with her daughter? This was definitely no means for a paternity test.


Mrs. Weasley gently shook her daughter awake. She had to know what was wrong with her, to hear it from her own daughter's lips instead of from some healer that probably didn't know what they were talking about. Damned healer's… damned St. Mungo's… Damned Ginny for getting herself into this predicament in the first place!


Ginny woke up after a few good shakes, looking horrible. Her eyes were puffy, and she shook with every breath she took. Mrs. Weasley felt herself succumbing to the sobs that began to overwhelm her at the sight of her daughter. What in the world…?


"Ginny… oh, Ginny, dear… what in the world… why are you here? What's wrong?"


It had been the wrong way to ask the question, perhaps, because Ginny erupted into hysterical cries. Mrs. Weasley clutched her daughter and pulled her to her breast. "Oh, Ginny… I'm here. I'm right here. You can tell me."


Wracking with sobs, Ginny attempted to speak. "The baby… gone…"


Mrs. Weasley felt as though someone had punched her in the stomach. Sure, she hadn't wanted her daughter to be pregnant at her age… but loosing a child? Oh… Poor, poor Ginny!


…Poor, poor Ginny…


*****



Mr. and Mrs. Weasley brought Ginny home that day and forced her straight into bed. Ginny, unhappily, obliged. She asked, however, that they put the family own in her room so that she could send a few letters. Mrs. Weasley gave Ginny a kiss on the forehead and did so.


After Molly shut her bedroom door, Ginny pulled out a roll of parchment and a quill from her bedside drawer, along with a bottle of ink. She unscrewed the cap and dunked the quill into the inkbottle. Draco should know what he had done to her. It was all his fault. Everything was all his fault.


Draco, she began. She began crying at the mere sight of the name, and tears fell onto the parchment. Luckily, she had bought smudge-proof ink.


I expect that you'll be happy to know that we are no longer expecting a child.


Again, tears spilled from her eyes. The simple thought that she had once been carrying a child - a child that she hadn't exactly wanted, but a child of her own, nevertheless - but had lost it, stung like a chill wind biting at exposed flesh. Once a life… no longer a life. Life and death had such a horrid circle.


Though I know you really don't care, I thought that I'd inform you, anyway… considering the fact that you're the reason that we're no longer having a child. Thank you, Draco, for making my life practically unlivable. I don't think that I'll ever, in my life, be able to forgive you.

-Ginny



Ginny rolled up the piece of parchment and attached it to the owl's leg. Hopefully it would reach Draco before he fell asleep at night - that way, he could remember what he had done to her, and he would suffer a sleepless night. But, somehow Ginny thought better of it. Draco Malfoy would never have a sleepless night in his life… simply because he was who he was.


The owl flew out of the open window, leaving Ginny alone in her room, lying in her bed. Nobody would come visit her, and murmur her words of encouragement, because nobody but her mother and father knew of her loss. Come to think of it, nobody but her parents (and Draco, but he simply didn't count) knew that she was pregnant in the first place. Tears stung her eyes once more. Nobody else would get to know, either, because there was no baby.


Before another thought came to her, Ginny fell back asleep, feeling exhausted and tried out enough for one day.


Are you listenin' now?
Are you feelin' that way
Aren't you terrified?
Of wakin' up too tired to try again?
Are you happy now
That you shut yourself down
Are you paralyzed
By all the nonsense that's gone down
I know you're gonna see these things some day
Sorry-eyed we spent so much of your time
Now I'm tryin' to put a riddle to a rhyme
Now it's up up up I'm headin' for this evenin'
And it's up up up I'm headed for the clouds
Comin' down ain't the worst part
It only takes a second
To make a change that's gonna last
I hope you're gonna see these things some day
So don't stop lookin' for that light along the way
Sorry that we've spent so much of your time
Now I'm tryin' to put your riddle to a rhyme
Now it's up up up and headin' for this evenin'
Now it's up up up I'm headed for the clouds