I woke up in the middle of the night sweating and gasping. I just had a
nightmare about being the mental hospital. I was still worried about
whether I would ever go back there again. A mental facility does things to
you. It's worse than being in jail. A lot worse. When I was in jail it made
me tough. That's what a jail does. It makes you cold-hearted, which is not
the best thing in the world, but at least you don't get hurt. A mental
facility does much worse. It makes you feel weak, less than everyone else.
Especially with what I had to go through. Some people are actually helped
when they go, but when you're problem is being alone, there is no hope. I
was glad I was finally out of there.
"Hey Coke, you all right?" It was Soda. He looked really tired. I guess I woke him up.
"Yeah, why?"
"You were screaming like hell. You sure you're all right?"
"Yeah, um.I just had a nightmare."
"You wanna talk bout it?"
"Naw, it's okay. Go back to sleep."
"You better go back to sleep. You got school tomorrow."
"Well. you got work."
He just grinned and left.
I didn't go back to sleep that night. I was too busy playing "what would happen if". It was fun. I didn't wanna go back to sleep that night. I didn't wanna have another nightmare tonight.
I guess I did go to sleep because I didn't remember anything in the morning, and I found myself waking up.
I went to the bathroom to take a shower. I put on a mini skirt and a tank top. I finally went down to the kitchen for breakfast.
"Morning, Coke."
"Morning, Pony. Is anyone else up?"
"Yeah, Darry's making breakfast and Soda's watching TV."
"Oh okay." I went to the kitchen to say morning to Darry and then to the living room.
"You sleep okay after I left."
"Yeah, sorta."
"Why sorta?"
"Well, I didn't sleep for quite a while, but when I did sleep I slept great. I mean, I ain't tired right now."
"Okay, good. Well you better go eat. You got school."
The food was already ready and I ate. It was pretty good.
"Thanks, Darry."
"No problem. Hurry up and leave now, or you're gonna be late. Wait! You got money for lunch?"
"Yeah, and where's Pony? I'm not gonna wait here forever."
"I'm coming!" I heard Ponyboy yell from inside.
He finally came out and we left for school together.
"What you dream about last night?" Ponyboy asked.
"Something about the mental facility I think."
"Oh. Did you have any good dreams."
"No. By the time I went back to sleep, I was totally knocked out."
"Hey, um.I've been wanting to ask you. Do you like Soda?"
"What? No, just as a friend or brother even."
I felt myself blush after he looked away. I don't know if he noticed. I think I was falling for Soda. I don't know. I mean I liked him, yeah, but not as much as I had loved Dallas. With Soda it was crush, I guess. Nothing more than a crush and I hoped it stayed that way.
I got to my homeroom classroom just in time.
"Welcome back, Miss Walsh."
"Thank you, Mr. Maza."
I walked to my seat at the book of the room. As I passed the middle aisle a girl was looking at me oddly. It was a face I disliked, but I recognized it. I had used that face many times on Sherri Valance, when Dally flirted with her. I didn't know why she would give me that face, but I didn't think too much of it.
School went by pretty quick. I was glad that it was finally over. The only problem was that I had to make up a lot of work. I really didn't want to, and so I was going to talk to the counselor after-school.
As soon as the bell rang I ran to the counselor's office. The counselor was Ms. Harrington. She was a kind-hearted lady, very nice. I hoped that she would grant me the request I made.
"Good afternoon, Ms. Harrington. Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Of course, Miss Walsh. I was actually planning to have you until tomorrow, but now that you have come we may speak now. Except I'm going to ask you to hold back your question until I'm finished talking."
"Um.okay."
"Please take a seat."
I sat down in the most comfortable chair.
"Okay then. Well, you have missed school for almost a whole year. You weren't here until now, and yet I allowed you to stay in this grade. Naturally, any other counselor would have held you back one year because you did not finish last year. Due to the circumstances I think that we may have to make you repeat this year. Most people would have wanted you to repeat last year, but I think you can manage without the knowledge from last year. You didn't miss much, and you are a very smart young lady."
"Do I have any other choices?"
"Well not if you don't want to make up all the work you missed plus the work you will be getting, and it's a lot of work."
"Can't I like just do one big project that has to do with everything I was supposed to learn this year?"
"I'll think about it. Uh.is that what you wanted to aske me earlier today?"
"Yeah."
"You don't say yeah, you say 'yes ma'am'."
"Yes ma'am."
"Okay Kaitlyn. You may leave now."
I left the office. I hoped that she would let me do that project. I didn't want to be a junior at eighteen. I wanted to get out of school as soon as possible.
I walked home, and as soon as I got there I went to eat a snack. I then started on my homework, when Steve came in the house.
"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" I asked.
"Not today. I have the day off."
"Why'd you come? There's no one here, but me."
"Well, I came to ask if you wanted to go to the movies or something."
"No."
He came over to the sofa and sat right next to me. He was getting real close to me, and he then kissed me on my cheek.
"Why not?" he asked, while starting to kiss me around the neck.
"I wouldn't go anywhere in the world with you."
"Aw.come on. Okay, if you won't go to the movies then how 'bout your bedroom?"
"Fine."
We went into the bedroom, and locked the door. We had sex for a while, with protection of course. I wasn't gonna get pregnant at this young an age.
We finally got out of the room, and Soda was home.
"Oh, I never would've thought it'd be you in there," Soda said.
"Well, what do you know," Steve said and left.
"Why him?" Soda asked me.
"Why not him?"
"Stop answering my questions with questions. Do you even like him?"
"No, you of all people should know that he is just one of the many toys I play with. Besides I don't over want to like anyone again."
"Why?"
"Why not?"
"Fine, I'll leave it at that. If you don't want to tell me I'm not gonna force you to."
"Not now. I will, but not now. Later, maybe tonight."
"Okay."
Darry and Ponyboy came later that night. Soda cooked dinner, not sure what it was but it was good. It was another of his odd inventions. Then I went to go finish my homework, take a shower, and get ready for bed.
Soda came in while I was reading a book.
"I'm glad you came. I really needed someone to talk to."
"Well, I'm glad to be here. So why exactly don't you ever want to love again? I mean, love is a beautiful thing, even though sometimes it doesn't always turn out like you want it to."
"Yeah, but I guess you could say that I fear to love and then lose someone. I'm not really afraid of loving, it's the consequences it could bring. I'm afraid that the person would leave me, and I'll go crazy again, like with Dally."
"Well, that won't always happen, like with me and Sandy. She left and I was really upset, but I didn't go crazy. I doubt it'll happen to you again. You just have to give it another go, and see what happens. Maybe that person will turn out right for you. You can't let just one situation ruin your life forever. You gotta learn to take more chances."
I didn't say anything after that. He stood up, gave me a kiss on the forehead like he always does, and was about to leave.
"Did you?" I asked.
"Did I what?"
"Take another chance."
He stayed silent for a moment and then said, "Yeah, I did," and left.
"Hey Coke, you all right?" It was Soda. He looked really tired. I guess I woke him up.
"Yeah, why?"
"You were screaming like hell. You sure you're all right?"
"Yeah, um.I just had a nightmare."
"You wanna talk bout it?"
"Naw, it's okay. Go back to sleep."
"You better go back to sleep. You got school tomorrow."
"Well. you got work."
He just grinned and left.
I didn't go back to sleep that night. I was too busy playing "what would happen if". It was fun. I didn't wanna go back to sleep that night. I didn't wanna have another nightmare tonight.
I guess I did go to sleep because I didn't remember anything in the morning, and I found myself waking up.
I went to the bathroom to take a shower. I put on a mini skirt and a tank top. I finally went down to the kitchen for breakfast.
"Morning, Coke."
"Morning, Pony. Is anyone else up?"
"Yeah, Darry's making breakfast and Soda's watching TV."
"Oh okay." I went to the kitchen to say morning to Darry and then to the living room.
"You sleep okay after I left."
"Yeah, sorta."
"Why sorta?"
"Well, I didn't sleep for quite a while, but when I did sleep I slept great. I mean, I ain't tired right now."
"Okay, good. Well you better go eat. You got school."
The food was already ready and I ate. It was pretty good.
"Thanks, Darry."
"No problem. Hurry up and leave now, or you're gonna be late. Wait! You got money for lunch?"
"Yeah, and where's Pony? I'm not gonna wait here forever."
"I'm coming!" I heard Ponyboy yell from inside.
He finally came out and we left for school together.
"What you dream about last night?" Ponyboy asked.
"Something about the mental facility I think."
"Oh. Did you have any good dreams."
"No. By the time I went back to sleep, I was totally knocked out."
"Hey, um.I've been wanting to ask you. Do you like Soda?"
"What? No, just as a friend or brother even."
I felt myself blush after he looked away. I don't know if he noticed. I think I was falling for Soda. I don't know. I mean I liked him, yeah, but not as much as I had loved Dallas. With Soda it was crush, I guess. Nothing more than a crush and I hoped it stayed that way.
I got to my homeroom classroom just in time.
"Welcome back, Miss Walsh."
"Thank you, Mr. Maza."
I walked to my seat at the book of the room. As I passed the middle aisle a girl was looking at me oddly. It was a face I disliked, but I recognized it. I had used that face many times on Sherri Valance, when Dally flirted with her. I didn't know why she would give me that face, but I didn't think too much of it.
School went by pretty quick. I was glad that it was finally over. The only problem was that I had to make up a lot of work. I really didn't want to, and so I was going to talk to the counselor after-school.
As soon as the bell rang I ran to the counselor's office. The counselor was Ms. Harrington. She was a kind-hearted lady, very nice. I hoped that she would grant me the request I made.
"Good afternoon, Ms. Harrington. Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Of course, Miss Walsh. I was actually planning to have you until tomorrow, but now that you have come we may speak now. Except I'm going to ask you to hold back your question until I'm finished talking."
"Um.okay."
"Please take a seat."
I sat down in the most comfortable chair.
"Okay then. Well, you have missed school for almost a whole year. You weren't here until now, and yet I allowed you to stay in this grade. Naturally, any other counselor would have held you back one year because you did not finish last year. Due to the circumstances I think that we may have to make you repeat this year. Most people would have wanted you to repeat last year, but I think you can manage without the knowledge from last year. You didn't miss much, and you are a very smart young lady."
"Do I have any other choices?"
"Well not if you don't want to make up all the work you missed plus the work you will be getting, and it's a lot of work."
"Can't I like just do one big project that has to do with everything I was supposed to learn this year?"
"I'll think about it. Uh.is that what you wanted to aske me earlier today?"
"Yeah."
"You don't say yeah, you say 'yes ma'am'."
"Yes ma'am."
"Okay Kaitlyn. You may leave now."
I left the office. I hoped that she would let me do that project. I didn't want to be a junior at eighteen. I wanted to get out of school as soon as possible.
I walked home, and as soon as I got there I went to eat a snack. I then started on my homework, when Steve came in the house.
"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" I asked.
"Not today. I have the day off."
"Why'd you come? There's no one here, but me."
"Well, I came to ask if you wanted to go to the movies or something."
"No."
He came over to the sofa and sat right next to me. He was getting real close to me, and he then kissed me on my cheek.
"Why not?" he asked, while starting to kiss me around the neck.
"I wouldn't go anywhere in the world with you."
"Aw.come on. Okay, if you won't go to the movies then how 'bout your bedroom?"
"Fine."
We went into the bedroom, and locked the door. We had sex for a while, with protection of course. I wasn't gonna get pregnant at this young an age.
We finally got out of the room, and Soda was home.
"Oh, I never would've thought it'd be you in there," Soda said.
"Well, what do you know," Steve said and left.
"Why him?" Soda asked me.
"Why not him?"
"Stop answering my questions with questions. Do you even like him?"
"No, you of all people should know that he is just one of the many toys I play with. Besides I don't over want to like anyone again."
"Why?"
"Why not?"
"Fine, I'll leave it at that. If you don't want to tell me I'm not gonna force you to."
"Not now. I will, but not now. Later, maybe tonight."
"Okay."
Darry and Ponyboy came later that night. Soda cooked dinner, not sure what it was but it was good. It was another of his odd inventions. Then I went to go finish my homework, take a shower, and get ready for bed.
Soda came in while I was reading a book.
"I'm glad you came. I really needed someone to talk to."
"Well, I'm glad to be here. So why exactly don't you ever want to love again? I mean, love is a beautiful thing, even though sometimes it doesn't always turn out like you want it to."
"Yeah, but I guess you could say that I fear to love and then lose someone. I'm not really afraid of loving, it's the consequences it could bring. I'm afraid that the person would leave me, and I'll go crazy again, like with Dally."
"Well, that won't always happen, like with me and Sandy. She left and I was really upset, but I didn't go crazy. I doubt it'll happen to you again. You just have to give it another go, and see what happens. Maybe that person will turn out right for you. You can't let just one situation ruin your life forever. You gotta learn to take more chances."
I didn't say anything after that. He stood up, gave me a kiss on the forehead like he always does, and was about to leave.
"Did you?" I asked.
"Did I what?"
"Take another chance."
He stayed silent for a moment and then said, "Yeah, I did," and left.
