A/N: This is the final chapter and it's from
Sirius' POV. A few people were wondering why Lily married James even though she
loved Sirius, so I tried my best to answer that. Also, the end has a major OotP spoiler. Anyway,
enjoy and review.
I can stand with the weight of the world
On my shoulders
I can fight with the toughest of the tough
I can laugh in the face
Of all my insecurities
Anytime, anywhere, anything
I'm strong enough
I amble through the corridors, my best friend at my side. He is rambling
aimlessly, and about you nonetheless. I try simply to nod and grin but
really I wish he would just shut up. Hasn't he realized that you loathe him?
The icy glares you're always directing at him, the way you tense with anger
each time he even speaks to you. I certainly notice… and I notice that they
melt when you glance from him to me. A small blush even creeps onto your cheeks.
But that is wishful thinking. It must be wishful thinking.
But when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch
I'm completely defenseless
Baby, it's almost too much
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling in love
After cornering you many times in the halls, I've finally managed to convince
you to join us for a round of Butterbeers. James spent nearly three hours
thanking me and I tried desperately to wave it off. He doesn't know that I've
invited you along for my own pleasure. He'll never know that I fancy you just
as much as he does. He can't know. Because what kind of best friend would I be
then? My thoughts are interrupted when I see you smiling at me across the
table. I feel a strange sensation in my stomach at the very sight of your grin and
so I give you one in return, despite the horrid feeling that it's wrong. But it
can't be wrong to simply smile at you… that could never be wrong.
So let consequence do what it will to us
I don't care
Let the stars stand as witness to it all
Say the word and tonight I will follow you anywhere
I just can't pretend anymore
I'm too sturdy to fall
Your small body pressed to mine is almost enough to make me feel
lightheaded, but you add to it by claiming my lips with yours. You taste of chocolate
and smell of lavender and I know that not a day in my life will go by when I
won't long for those two things. I try to savor the moment, pushing thoughts of
him to the back of my head. But how can I so eagerly forget my best
friend? My best friend who told me only last night that he was hopelessly in
love with you. But kissing you could not possibly be wrong, not when it feels
so wonderfully right.
But when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch
I'm completely defenseless
Baby, it's almost too much
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling in love
You're dozing
quietly in my arms, and it's remarkable how angelic you look. I brush my hand
against your soft cheek, but you don't stir. My shattered heart pains in my
chest, hurting more for every moment I stare at you. It's my fault, of course.
My fault that we've been restricted to hurried kisses while no one is looking and
rare nights like these, when you have to be gone before the sun even comes up. I
ended it with you, in a desperate attempt to make things right again. And so you
turned to James, and before long he had proposed to you. Except, you and I
realized too late that we could never be without each other. All it took was
one kiss and we had rekindled whatever it was that we shared. This time,
however, things were truly hopeless. You were engaged to my best friend and to
tell him… would destroy him. To tell him would ruin a lifelong friendship. And
not even for you, my love, would I do that.
I am
not afraid
I am not afraid
I still can't believe that this has happened. Not
to you. The woman who filled my world with so much life and love. You can't
possibly be dead. But you are, and I should know. I sit in this cell paying for
your death. They believe I betrayed you, and oh, they are so right. I did
betray you, Lily darling. I let you marry him, I let you go, and I let you live
a lie with someone you did not love. I tried so hard to be the strong one and I
know you hated me for it. Did you hate me forever, my precious flower? Did you
hate me as you died? Does it even matter anymore? You are gone and I will sit
here alone until the day that I die. It is my penance, and I accept it.
'Cause when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch
I'm completely defenseless
Baby, it's almost too much
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling...
He
looks so much like James that it hurts. It forces buried memories to bubble to
the surface and they scorch me from the inside. But it's all very well that he
looks like James, because if he looked like you… I know I wouldn't be able to
bare it. Just don't look him in the eyes, I tell myself. You live in his eyes,
Lily. Eyes that mock me. Eyes that laugh at me and judge me and worst of all…
eyes that love me. You once told me that you would love me forever and I curse
myself for ever doubting that. You loved me always, up to the moment you died
and even now, you love me. I will protect this boy with my life, Lily. Just as I tried to do for you.
Helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly falling
As I fight this woman, wand to wand, I notice
nothing of my surroundings. It has been a long time since I've been able to
battle it out like this. It makes me feel almost alive. I dodge her curses,
laughing out loud and egging her on. I'm playing a dangerous game and I know
that with a simple spell, she could end things for me. The thought does not
frighten me though, because death means seeing you and that could never
be wrong. My mind, clouded with thoughts of you, does not register the need to
move. A curse hits me squarely in the chest and my eyes widen with shock. I'm
falling now, towards this mysterious archway. Briefly afraid… but why fear
death, my love? I will see you soon. The world falls away and I'm left with
only one thought. I have never
stopped loving you.
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling in love
