Chapter Eighteen- Concerns and Thoughts
Psalm 55:22- "Cast your cares on the Lord.."
Thoughts whirled and flew throughout Tielle's overwhelmed mind, melding together to create an incomprehensible fog. *Stop!* she screamed at herself. *Think! They need you- you can't screw this up now!*
Okay. Stop, breathe. Think. First thing, she needed to contact Chayden. Could she do that safely from Hidon? Would she have to go somewhere where it was more likely she wouldn't be noticed? Where and how could she get there?
Her first thought was of Hidon's closest allies, Ziex and Shansire. But Klane was on Ziex and must not know where she was or that she had found out he was the one to infect Hidon with Em may, and thus Shansire was the next, most logical, choice.
It may have been the most logical, but still.. Tielle felt wrong about turning there, where her fiancé was. She hadn't thought of Kall in ages, hadn't wanted to think of him, content to forget about him and think of only Chayden.
But now she and Chayden were estranged..
She sighed. If they were estranged, should she even be asking him for help with saving Hidon? He was Farearian, after all, and had no allegiance to Hidon, even if it had always been assumed that Hidon would grant him political asylum.
Perhaps it would be reasonable for Chayden to not want to help her, but Tielle couldn't help but know he would, if for no other reason than the sake of their past closeness. Plus they had common ties in God.
Chayden *would* help her, Tielle knew, and since that part of the plan had been resolved, all there was left to do was to go to Shansire and get help from her fiancé.
Kall, her fiancé. The man she had chosen to marry. It had been her choice.
But even if the decision had been of her own freewill, she could not fight the tears that slipped down her pale cheeks as she turned and left the room.
**
And in the system, there still lay the message from Kall stating his desire to break of the engagement, untouched and unknown.
**
Gen stayed at a friend's house for a week but then sensed that it was time to return home, where she belonged and could be contacted if there was any news of her daughter.
Gen had not given up hope; she still very much believed that her daughter could and would be rescued from the evils of slavery, but she somehow sensed that when she was next sought-out, it would not be because of any news of her daughter, but instead for some purpose she couldn't know..
** Tesian and Rashea became extremely protective over Chayden, wary of both any more unexpected outsiders, but also of the rest of the colony, who now regarded Chayden as dangerous and certain to bring that danger to the rest of them.
Chayden often wondered how much his presence was endangering the rest of Kansoth and if it wasn't better that he should just leave Diresh altogether. The problem was where he would go if he managed to somehow elude captivity.
He longed to leave the planet, lonely and unsettled without Tielle, but didn't really consider the idea of leaving seriously, even if it might be better for Kansoth. If he was captured, he would put Tielle in danger, and wanted nothing less.
Tielle. He missed her, and Rashea knew it. Either her or Tesian came to visit him daily, and the perceptive daughter always kept up a cheerful dialogue, as if she knew how the silence of the empty house grated on him.
But Rashea's noise was different than Tielle's had been; Rashea was cheerful and bright, whereas Tielle had been prone to bouts of different moods. Tielle was abrupt and spontaneous, with random eruptions of anger, thoughts of philosophy, bouts of homesickness and times of contentment, whereas Rashea was a calm, steady ocean of cheer.
Chayden found he enjoyed Tielle's refreshing passion instead of Rashea's tendency to weigh her thoughts before speaking, her opinions before expressing them, and her motives before acting. Tielle was impulsive, and Chayden found it made things more interesting. He knew he was fairly mediocre, and two average people didn't create much chemistry.
To some, Tielle's seemingly always-changing moods may have been frustrating and difficult to understand, but thanks to gene-altered Farearian minds, Chayden had no trouble understanding the why behind Tielle's moods and actually found sensing her emotions fascinating. In the time they'd been together, he had become very attuned to her moods and emotions, ever mindful of her emotions unless his where occupied with one particular emotion.
Like the night she'd found him with Shaina. He should have been able to sense her presence there, but Shaina had been so confusing and caused too much turmoil within him to be able to sense anything outside of himself. For that matter, he should have been able to sense the motive behind Shaina's demeanor and approach that night, but he had been preoccupied and distressed about the problems between him and Tielle.
Problems that had only grown and exploded, leaving him here without her and unable to tell her all the things he wanted to tell her.
He sighed and wondered if she ever even thought of him.
** As Tielle used her override codes to obtain a small shuttle and slip unnoticed off Hidon, she worried. And worried. And worried.
When the shuttle went into light-space, there was nothing to do, and so she was occupied with her thoughts, which were threatening to drive her mad.
*Okay God,* she thought, *I need to shift my focus back to you. I'll go insane otherwise. I've got to learn to bring these concerns to you now instead of worrying about them myself!*
She mentally went through a list of everything that was concerning her, praying for each worry: Hidon's, and more specifically, her father's illness, Hidon's occupation by enemies, her success at getting Sofran from Maalar, her success at getting Chayden to agree to go to Surlow and then Chayden's success at finding Jenai, her estrangement from Chayden, her relations with Shansire and Kall, her anger at Klane, her anger at Klane, her anger at Klane..
Even praying about it brought a simmering of resentment that quickly started to bubble into fury. *Oh, God, help me. I thought I had mastered this hatred on Fareari, but I guess I haven't. Help me, God.*
She shifted her mind to other matters, like how she was going to administer medicine to all of Hidon, a daunting task *without* Faihn occupying the planet. And what was she going to do about Klane? What power did she have, with her father as he was? Could she even have her uncle arrested? Had he not been a nobleman, certainly, but with him being her dad's brother, was she inside legal jurisdiction?
And if she *wasn't*, how could she continue to avoid his assassination attempts?
She sighed again and rubbed her temples. So, first priority was curing Hidon, second somehow doing something about Klane. Third was to get Fareari off Hidon.
But how? Even if she managed to convince Shansire and Ziex to ally themselves and attempt to remove Fareari from Hidon, Fareari had her father and mother and the whole populace of Hidon, a very strong shield for them to hide behind. They could simply threaten to kill her father if Shansire and Ziex tried anything.. Or worse, they could threaten to torture her mother.
Tielle shuddered but continued to try to think things through. The only way to prevent that from happening was to have a covert group of commandoes infiltrate the palace and take Faihn captive. Then they could demand whatever they wanted...
Tielle mulled the idea over as the small shuttle sped on its way to Shansire.
** Klane accessed Hidon's system, using his codes from Ziex to enter and become informed on changes there. The death toll had risen, naturally, and-
His eyes narrowed as a signature came up on windows he opened, showing that someone had accessed the system from Hidon. Perhaps it was only Shari, finally having found a way to access the system without the Farearians noticing.
But as he investigated further, he saw that it wasn't the queen's signature.
It was the princess's.
Thoughts whirled and flew throughout Tielle's overwhelmed mind, melding together to create an incomprehensible fog. *Stop!* she screamed at herself. *Think! They need you- you can't screw this up now!*
Okay. Stop, breathe. Think. First thing, she needed to contact Chayden. Could she do that safely from Hidon? Would she have to go somewhere where it was more likely she wouldn't be noticed? Where and how could she get there?
Her first thought was of Hidon's closest allies, Ziex and Shansire. But Klane was on Ziex and must not know where she was or that she had found out he was the one to infect Hidon with Em may, and thus Shansire was the next, most logical, choice.
It may have been the most logical, but still.. Tielle felt wrong about turning there, where her fiancé was. She hadn't thought of Kall in ages, hadn't wanted to think of him, content to forget about him and think of only Chayden.
But now she and Chayden were estranged..
She sighed. If they were estranged, should she even be asking him for help with saving Hidon? He was Farearian, after all, and had no allegiance to Hidon, even if it had always been assumed that Hidon would grant him political asylum.
Perhaps it would be reasonable for Chayden to not want to help her, but Tielle couldn't help but know he would, if for no other reason than the sake of their past closeness. Plus they had common ties in God.
Chayden *would* help her, Tielle knew, and since that part of the plan had been resolved, all there was left to do was to go to Shansire and get help from her fiancé.
Kall, her fiancé. The man she had chosen to marry. It had been her choice.
But even if the decision had been of her own freewill, she could not fight the tears that slipped down her pale cheeks as she turned and left the room.
**
And in the system, there still lay the message from Kall stating his desire to break of the engagement, untouched and unknown.
**
Gen stayed at a friend's house for a week but then sensed that it was time to return home, where she belonged and could be contacted if there was any news of her daughter.
Gen had not given up hope; she still very much believed that her daughter could and would be rescued from the evils of slavery, but she somehow sensed that when she was next sought-out, it would not be because of any news of her daughter, but instead for some purpose she couldn't know..
** Tesian and Rashea became extremely protective over Chayden, wary of both any more unexpected outsiders, but also of the rest of the colony, who now regarded Chayden as dangerous and certain to bring that danger to the rest of them.
Chayden often wondered how much his presence was endangering the rest of Kansoth and if it wasn't better that he should just leave Diresh altogether. The problem was where he would go if he managed to somehow elude captivity.
He longed to leave the planet, lonely and unsettled without Tielle, but didn't really consider the idea of leaving seriously, even if it might be better for Kansoth. If he was captured, he would put Tielle in danger, and wanted nothing less.
Tielle. He missed her, and Rashea knew it. Either her or Tesian came to visit him daily, and the perceptive daughter always kept up a cheerful dialogue, as if she knew how the silence of the empty house grated on him.
But Rashea's noise was different than Tielle's had been; Rashea was cheerful and bright, whereas Tielle had been prone to bouts of different moods. Tielle was abrupt and spontaneous, with random eruptions of anger, thoughts of philosophy, bouts of homesickness and times of contentment, whereas Rashea was a calm, steady ocean of cheer.
Chayden found he enjoyed Tielle's refreshing passion instead of Rashea's tendency to weigh her thoughts before speaking, her opinions before expressing them, and her motives before acting. Tielle was impulsive, and Chayden found it made things more interesting. He knew he was fairly mediocre, and two average people didn't create much chemistry.
To some, Tielle's seemingly always-changing moods may have been frustrating and difficult to understand, but thanks to gene-altered Farearian minds, Chayden had no trouble understanding the why behind Tielle's moods and actually found sensing her emotions fascinating. In the time they'd been together, he had become very attuned to her moods and emotions, ever mindful of her emotions unless his where occupied with one particular emotion.
Like the night she'd found him with Shaina. He should have been able to sense her presence there, but Shaina had been so confusing and caused too much turmoil within him to be able to sense anything outside of himself. For that matter, he should have been able to sense the motive behind Shaina's demeanor and approach that night, but he had been preoccupied and distressed about the problems between him and Tielle.
Problems that had only grown and exploded, leaving him here without her and unable to tell her all the things he wanted to tell her.
He sighed and wondered if she ever even thought of him.
** As Tielle used her override codes to obtain a small shuttle and slip unnoticed off Hidon, she worried. And worried. And worried.
When the shuttle went into light-space, there was nothing to do, and so she was occupied with her thoughts, which were threatening to drive her mad.
*Okay God,* she thought, *I need to shift my focus back to you. I'll go insane otherwise. I've got to learn to bring these concerns to you now instead of worrying about them myself!*
She mentally went through a list of everything that was concerning her, praying for each worry: Hidon's, and more specifically, her father's illness, Hidon's occupation by enemies, her success at getting Sofran from Maalar, her success at getting Chayden to agree to go to Surlow and then Chayden's success at finding Jenai, her estrangement from Chayden, her relations with Shansire and Kall, her anger at Klane, her anger at Klane, her anger at Klane..
Even praying about it brought a simmering of resentment that quickly started to bubble into fury. *Oh, God, help me. I thought I had mastered this hatred on Fareari, but I guess I haven't. Help me, God.*
She shifted her mind to other matters, like how she was going to administer medicine to all of Hidon, a daunting task *without* Faihn occupying the planet. And what was she going to do about Klane? What power did she have, with her father as he was? Could she even have her uncle arrested? Had he not been a nobleman, certainly, but with him being her dad's brother, was she inside legal jurisdiction?
And if she *wasn't*, how could she continue to avoid his assassination attempts?
She sighed again and rubbed her temples. So, first priority was curing Hidon, second somehow doing something about Klane. Third was to get Fareari off Hidon.
But how? Even if she managed to convince Shansire and Ziex to ally themselves and attempt to remove Fareari from Hidon, Fareari had her father and mother and the whole populace of Hidon, a very strong shield for them to hide behind. They could simply threaten to kill her father if Shansire and Ziex tried anything.. Or worse, they could threaten to torture her mother.
Tielle shuddered but continued to try to think things through. The only way to prevent that from happening was to have a covert group of commandoes infiltrate the palace and take Faihn captive. Then they could demand whatever they wanted...
Tielle mulled the idea over as the small shuttle sped on its way to Shansire.
** Klane accessed Hidon's system, using his codes from Ziex to enter and become informed on changes there. The death toll had risen, naturally, and-
His eyes narrowed as a signature came up on windows he opened, showing that someone had accessed the system from Hidon. Perhaps it was only Shari, finally having found a way to access the system without the Farearians noticing.
But as he investigated further, he saw that it wasn't the queen's signature.
It was the princess's.
