Star Trek:

Voyager

The Q & I

Chapter 2

"Q!" Janeway exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"



"Oh, how do you stand this?" Q asked.



"Stand what?"



"Well, you have a screen the size of a small moon there, and I'm forced to speak to a screen the size of a postage stamp." There was a flash. The screen displayed an empty chair. "There! Much better! I always prefer a personal meeting, don't you, Kathy?" Q had zapped himself onto the bridge, and his multi-colored tunic had been replaced with his usual Starfleet uniform and his false Captain's rank.



"Alright, Q," Janeway said, "Starfleet has had a number of encounters with you, isn't that right?"



"But of course, Mon Capitan." He said in his usual, chipper voice.



"And usually the captain begs you to leave and then you go ahead and do whatever you want anyway, right?"



"I'd say that's a fair assessment, yes."



"So this time, just tell me what you want and let's get this over with." Janeway said, with a great deal of sarcasm and a little attitude.



"I am appalled!" Q said. "Appalled that you would speak to royalty in such a matter!"



"Q, enough! Since when are you a royal being?"



"Long enough to have the experience and wisdom of a truly seasoned leader." He said, exuberant pride creeping into his voice.



"How long?" Janeway asked again, clearly not kidding.



"About a week. Give or take a day, I can't recall."



"And did these people elect you as their leader?"



"Well, elect isn't really the word, Captain."



"And just what is the word?"



"Well, is there a specific word for descending from the sky in a pyrotechnic display with lightning and fire, then declaring yourself the leader of an entire planet and having the pagans do anything you desire?"



Tom Paris spoke up, saying, "How about pompous fanatic?"

Anger flashed into Q's eyes. "How dare you!" He changed his clothing once again, this time becoming an amazing likeness of King Arthur, crown and all. "Kneel, knave!" he yelled at the young lieutenant, and, against his will, Tom obeyed.



"Q! Enough of this!" Janeway exclaimed. "Just leave us and we'll go get our repairs done somewhere else, preferably where the leader is not a raving lunatic."



"Not now," Q said. "I was going to let you go, but now you insult me. No, now you will stay here as my first victory over another race. Your ship will be taken down to the planet and put on display. And as for you all, you will become my prisoners." He snapped, and 20 men armed with swords and whips entered from all the doors on the bridge. "Seize them!" Q screamed.



"Yes, King Quana!" One of them said. The men grabbed the crewmembers, and then, at the snap of Q's fingers, everyone on the bridge vanished.